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Today, it was my high school graduation. Everything was going fine until everyone saw my family fighting over where we would go afterwards. Security had to pull them apart. FML

by congrats grad / 06/08/2013 at 1:12am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked for time off from work for my wedding and honeymoon. A grand total of three days. My boss made a face like he'd sucked on rancid toes and asked me if I was stupid. Awesome. FML

by BrokeBride / 08/14/2014 at 3:15am / United States (New Hampshire) / Work

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

by anonymous / 01/08/2015 at 2:10pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, my dad decided that the best way to alleviate my crippling depression is to talk to me in a baby voice. FML

by nerderer / 03/15/2015 at 10:57am / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, I was lying in bed minding my own business when my mom entered the room. I was proposed to a few weeks ago by my boyfriend, and my mom came in to tell me that my boyfriend's mom was on the phone. Turns out, he stole the engagement ring from her drawer. FML

by violet / 11/29/2009 at 5:52pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I found out that my brother is engaged to marry an ex-girlfriend of mine. This comes almost two months after my brother divorced ANOTHER ex-girlfriend of mine. FML

Today, I got a zero on my math test. My teacher was convinced that I had written the answers on my arm. No answers, just really thick, black arm hair. FML

by Sean / 10/09/2010 at 4:54pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML

by Aled / 02/17/2011 at 11:33am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Animals

Today, my husband threw out all of the spices in the cupboard. When I asked him why he said, "Our cat was named Spicy and I can't stand to look at them." Our recently deceased cat's name was Dicey. FML

by Tali / 07/28/2011 at 2:18am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, while in the restroom washing my hands, a girl decided to let one rip while in the stall. When she came out she gave me a dirty look of disgust and said, "At least wait until I leave." She and I were the only ones in the restroom. FML

by mugres22 / 08/17/2013 at 1:11am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother keyed my car because I wouldn't invite her into my home and get her a cup of tea, so she could continue screaming that she was going to kill me while I tried to feed my 4 month old daughter. The last time I got her a cup of tea she threw it in my face. FML

Today, the tree that my neighbors have neglected to cut down fell on my car. They claim that by law, they aren't responsible and don't have to pay for it. FML

by me / 05/01/2011 at 12:31pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation

Today, my parents took me on a plane ride for a vacation in Hong Kong. What they didn't tell me was that the "vacation" is extended for three years. FML

by xxxkkxxx / 07/29/2011 at 11:37am / Hong Kong / Holidays