Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to take a piss in a public bathroom. Somehow, I managed to completely jam the lock. After minutes of trying to get myself out, I gave up and crawled under the stall, at which point someone walked in and was very surprised to see me on the floor. FML

#21336053
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27501) - you deserved it (3161)

On 01/12/2015 at 9:47pm - misc - by downinthedumps - United States (Michigan)

Today, I recently gave birth to my daughter, and my husband and I both have dark hair and bushy eyebrows. We never thought it was a problem until our daughter was born with a dark, bushy unibrow. Now I'm too nervous to take pictures of her 'cause our family and friends laugh every time they see her. FML

#21511488
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19932) - you deserved it (3161)

On 01/04/2016 at 6:13pm - kids - by bushy brows - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got fired, apparently for being racist to black people. When I told my boyfriend, he couldn't stop laughing. He's black. FML

#21442166
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32411) - you deserved it (3161)

On 07/15/2015 at 6:02pm - misc - by Razz - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it was my father's wedding. He never really cared for me, and his fiancée is my age, but I thought it would mean a lot to him if I went. I was supposed to wait for his call the day before, so he would give me directions and tell me when it starts. He never called. FML

#4899875
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50288) - you deserved it (3160)

On 08/29/2009 at 3:21am - misc - by kkiv (woman) - Poland (Warszawa)

Today, a 75 year old lady drove into me. Her excuse was, "I wasn't looking." Awesome. FML

#11412835
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38316) - you deserved it (3160)

On 06/23/2010 at 9:51pm - misc - by hurricane0331 - United States (Texas)

Today, it was a little colder than it should be for this time of year, and as a result I was using the heater in my car. Apparently within the last four months, a mouse managed to make his way into my heater vent and die. I can not get the smell of death out of my car. FML

#11164761
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35671) - you deserved it (3160)

On 06/13/2010 at 5:56am - animals - by spenmy - United States (Colorado)

Today, I noticed that the walls of my apartment are ridiculously thin, when I heard my neighbor slowly walk up the stairs, slam the bathroom door, lift the toilet cover, take a pee and end with a nice "AAHH." FML

#13030985
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28402) - you deserved it (3160)

On 09/13/2010 at 2:49am - misc - by edwinduarte1 - Sent from mobile version

Today, for the second time, I met the man I'm having an arranged marriage with in 3 months. I'd previously met him last night, while he was mugging me. FML

#20120711
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42895) - you deserved it (3160)

On 10/17/2012 at 6:15am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I was burgled while I was on the toilet. FML

#20402014
135 comments

Today, I was shopping with my dad and I saw one of my guy friends, so we waved and smiled at each other. My dad clearly thought his wave was too "romantic", because he shouted at him, "Touch her, and I'll kill you." FML

#21330296
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33592) - you deserved it (3160)

On 01/03/2015 at 10:56pm - misc - by Dear Lord Save Me (woman) - United Kingdom (Merthyr Tydfil)

Today, I was trying to clean the belt of my register at work at a grocery store. I noticed two strips of rubber stuck in the corner of the belt, and after pulling on them periodically all morning one finally came loose. It was a foot. I had been pulling at a dead rat trapped in the belt. FML

#3675667
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48695) - you deserved it (3159)

On 07/11/2009 at 8:33pm - work - by cashier (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to our school golf banquet, after being with the team and practicing every day for a few months with them. When it came time to get the certificates, all the names were called out. Except for mine. When I asked the coach where my certificate was, he said "Who are you?". FML

#6158191
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33806) - you deserved it (3159)

On 11/04/2009 at 9:12pm - misc - by RKE (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was supposed to go to Disneyland with my family, but I woke up with explosive diarrhea. So while they are at the happiest place on Earth, I'm stuck on this toilet left to imagine that the splash from my crap is a splash from splash mountain. FML

#7148108
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32897) - you deserved it (3159)

On 01/04/2010 at 5:20pm - health - by onthetoilet - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: