Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a guy asked for my number at a party. As I was entering my number into his phone, my name and a picture of me popped up. I'm afraid I just met my stalker. FML

#19872110
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26296) - you deserved it (2775)

On 06/30/2012 at 4:09pm - love - by ohbiebjetaime (woman) - France

Today, I discovered my son, who has recently moved out of our home, eating his dog's food. His excuse? He wanted the new Pokemon game, and "compromises had to be made". FML

#20122132
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21981) - you deserved it (2775)

On 10/18/2012 at 4:33am - kids - by anon - Australia

Today, I got on the bus. Before I could make it to a free seat, the driver hit the gas, and the sudden movement caused me to stumble and accidentally grab onto another passenger for support. She didn't appreciate this, accused me of molesting her, and got me thrown back off. FML

#20982787
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38238) - you deserved it (2775)

On 12/06/2013 at 1:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years called my house even though I was with him at the time. He needed to talk to my mom. He asked her to break up with me for him. FML

#12655431
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29395) - you deserved it (2774)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:05am - love - by justmylife (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my sister attacked me and stuffed a Tic Tac up my nose. I'm currently in the hospital waiting to have it removed. FML

#18738638
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29361) - you deserved it (2774)

On 01/07/2012 at 7:33pm - health - by tictacnose - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend.' FML

#18614469
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23108) - you deserved it (2774)

On 12/26/2011 at 7:11am - love - by SoccerBabe42 (woman) - Canada

Today, I locked myself out of the house. After hours of ringing the doorbell and calling my roommate, I decided to break the window. When I finally got in, my roommate was waiting with a can of pepper spray. FML

Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML

#20972130
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42886) - you deserved it (2774)

On 11/27/2013 at 2:08am - animals - by Seriously_Scaredy_Cat - United States

Today, my mother is so overdramatic that her response to finding out I lost a friend's book was that I should fake my own death rather than fess up. FML

#21265006
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30395) - you deserved it (2774)

On 09/25/2014 at 7:19am - misc - by hylianprincess (woman) - United States

Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML

#21307273
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28412) - you deserved it (2774)

On 11/28/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by mainlineloser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I just got done reading all the healthy benefits that come with sex. One of them is higher self-esteem. Then I remembered that I haven't had sex in 15 months. FML

#1555
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20985) - you deserved it (2773)

On 01/18/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by SSH - United States (Florida)

Today, I was working at Tim Hortons. A lady was in line, and she couldnt make up her mind. 20 minutes later she finally decided to get something, and she reached in her pocket. I was hoping it was a tip, but she gave me a coupon for a haircut. FML

#6125529
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24743) - you deserved it (2773)

On 11/02/2009 at 8:15pm - misc - by justin_99 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went for a drive with my boyfriend and his dad. His dad was kind enough to point out at every opportunity girls "that would be better for him than me". FML

#14449483
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28053) - you deserved it (2773)

On 01/03/2011 at 6:37am - love - by anon. (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: