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Today, I got some spam stating that I'd have no love life in the coming 10 years if I didn't reply to it. So, no different to the last 10 years then. FML

#19556689
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19417) - you deserved it (2391)

On 05/01/2012 at 1:14am - love - by monkeywrench (woman) - United States

Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML

#20142085
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25962) - you deserved it (2391)

On 10/31/2012 at 8:40pm - misc - by hallofail (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was fired for not attending a mandatory meeting. I confronted my boss and told her I never heard anything about it, she told me that daily reminders had been sent out via email for weeks. She then discovered that she failed to enter my email address in the system. I was still fired. FML

#5607614
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47907) - you deserved it (2390)

On 10/02/2009 at 5:31pm - work - by Rae (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was called 15 times by a "good redneck boy" that my Mom is trying to set me up with. He has called me at least 5 times a day for the past week. My Mom is still encouraging him to call. I had to unplug the phone because I feel stalked in my own dorm. FML

#13776562
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23262) - you deserved it (2390)

On 11/09/2010 at 11:00am - misc - by snitcheyes (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my downstairs neighbor had a home birth. Not only did I hear eighteen hours of uninterrupted screaming, they called me afterwards, asking if I could come over to help them clean up. FML

#18520705
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35510) - you deserved it (2390)

On 12/15/2011 at 4:43pm - health - by Kara - United States (New York)

Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking, "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML

#18003683
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33868) - you deserved it (2390)

On 10/17/2011 at 12:20am - health - by blarp - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML

#19584517
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26453) - you deserved it (2390)

On 05/06/2012 at 10:13pm - love - by gutted (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my sister-in-law is getting married. She is one of my best friends, and was my maid of honor when I got married. She's asked me to serve punch at hers. FML

Today, at my dining job, my boss told me the food was "technically illegal to serve," air quotes and all. FML

#21249316
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32292) - you deserved it (2391)

On 08/31/2014 at 9:56pm - work - by dining - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got a call from a prominent orchestra asking me to play with them. They were especially interested because I'm still in high school. I called to accept only to find out that my mother had already declined the offer for me because I "only" have a 3.7. FML

#5403553
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41892) - you deserved it (2389)

On 09/21/2009 at 9:50pm - work - by bass (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I missed a call from my mom. It's my birthday, and glad she remembered, I called back to thank her. She was surprised when I brought up going out for dinner, and asked me what the occasion was. FML

#17203545
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31625) - you deserved it (2389)

On 07/21/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my ex girlfriend is sleeping over at my house. At some point while she was preparing to dump me, she became best friends with my sister. FML

#17764515
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27951) - you deserved it (2389)

On 09/17/2011 at 1:21pm - love - by Freechbear (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML

#19313948
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24930) - you deserved it (2389)

On 03/20/2012 at 1:46pm - misc - by Niles (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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