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Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML

#19059341
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38404) - you deserved it (2823)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm - kids - by amythest - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML

#17147393
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39852) - you deserved it (2823)

On 07/17/2011 at 8:34am - love - by bigjohn106 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I discovered that the more money I earn, the more my personal belongings break down on me. FML

#17274904
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26250) - you deserved it (2822)

On 07/27/2011 at 12:05am - money - by talwin (man) - Reserved

Today, while riding back from a weekend away with my boyfriend, we crashed his motorbike, resulting in us getting thrown over a barbed wire fence into a forest. I woke up in hospital. Apparently, in his adrenaline rush, he climbed back on his bike and continued his trip, forgetting all about me. FML

#18868829
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36002) - you deserved it (2822)

On 01/21/2012 at 6:59am - misc - by superficialheart - China

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML

#20139261
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29272) - you deserved it (2822)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by SadExperiment (man) - United States (California)

Today, my sister was dumped by her boyfriend. As my mother was comforting her, I overheard her say "Honey, it's okay, you're the pretty one. Think of those worse off than you. Think of your sister, she might never get a boyfriend." FML

#6570014
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49887) - you deserved it (2821)

On 12/02/2009 at 5:27pm - love - by UglySister - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my mum is convinced I'm a hoarder. While I was out of the house, she went through my room and threw out stuff I "don't need." This included $500 worth of textbooks, a flash drive with crucial work on it, and my phone charger. FML

#14518495
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37050) - you deserved it (2821)

On 01/09/2011 at 6:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after being terrified for years, I went on a plane for the first time. It was also the first time I "emergency landed." FML

#17291466
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34187) - you deserved it (2821)

On 07/28/2011 at 10:25pm - misc - by Alyssa Charlotte - Mexico

Today, I went onto my computer and found a cyber sex conversation between my sister and my girlfriend. FML

#768
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36142) - you deserved it (2820)

On 12/31/2008 at 10:49pm - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend's dad chased me with a baseball bat because he found a pair of my boxers in her room. They were not there because I left them there, they were there because she stole them. FML

#3897377
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46296) - you deserved it (2820)

On 07/20/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by pyrosythan (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working the night shift at the hotel I'm employed at. After checking in a young couple to the room above the main office, I was forced to listen to them having it off for most of the night, serving a very loud reminder that I've been single for five years. FML

#8582830
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19325) - you deserved it (2820)

On 02/23/2010 at 6:52am - intimacy - by Cromwel620 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I met my boyfriend's sophisticated grandparents. I politely introduced myself. The first words to come out of his granny's mouth were, "If something happens to him, you won't get a f*cking cent of the insurance money, you hear?" FML

#17019380
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35516) - you deserved it (2820)

On 07/07/2011 at 8:58pm - love - by Jessica - Australia (Western Australia)



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