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Today, I was walking through the mall with my husband. We came across a guy who was selling some weight loss pills. He tried to sell me some and I kindly declined. He told me not to deny my weight problems. Thanks. I'm 7 months pregnant. FML

#8859740
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25649) - you deserved it (2323)

On 03/06/2010 at 12:16am - health - by KateD - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in the theatre watching a movie. I leaned my head back to relax. Suddenly, I hear this sneeze behind me and then I feel "rain" pouring down on my face. FML

#8350664
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24393) - you deserved it (2323)

On 02/16/2010 at 8:30pm - misc - by misspriss (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while sleeping, I heard an explosion. My neighbor then knocked on my door and informed me that he had just hit my car with shrapnel from a cannon. Not only do I not have a car to drive, but I also have to put this claim on my insurance due to my neighbor being on welfare. FML

Today, the only card I got for Valentine's Day was in my mother's handwriting, and she posted it through the front door herself. She still won't admit it's from her. FML

#19072071
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20383) - you deserved it (2323)

On 02/14/2012 at 6:56am - love - by ThanksMum (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my dad made a new house rule: "If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down." My whole house now smells like pee. FML

#19082292
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25083) - you deserved it (2323)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by Bondi414 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at work as a lifeguard. The temperature was absolutely stifling, but I tried to tough it out. A couple of hours into my shift, I passed out, fell off my stand, and crashed into the water. Or so the medics tell me. FML

#20024083
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19903) - you deserved it (2323)

On 08/16/2012 at 5:57am - work - by Soap0015 - United States

Today, I tried to tell my best friend how wrong she is to be dating a married man, whose wife happens to be pregnant with their first child. Our talk ended with her calling me a "meddling, frigid bitch" and me being told this is why I can't get laid. FML

#20125357
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24683) - you deserved it (2323)

On 10/20/2012 at 2:50pm - misc - by Dillyduzit (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I came back home to meet people before going away to university, including my ex and her new boyfriend. We broke up about two months ago and there were no bad feelings between us, so I decided to have a chat with them. I asked "How long have you been going out?" He replied "Seven months." FML

#6102050
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37682) - you deserved it (2322)

On 11/01/2009 at 2:02pm - love - by H4rd_Man (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my roommate informed me that he took a bet to not shower or bathe until Christmas. The bet is for five bucks. FML

#12890603
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27745) - you deserved it (2322)

On 09/03/2010 at 8:11pm - misc - by stink (man) -

Today, the bartender pulled me aside and told me that she saw my date slip something into my drink. Who was my date? My husband of four years. FML

#8790917
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31343) - you deserved it (2322)

On 03/03/2010 at 12:37am - misc - by holycrap (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML

#20130811
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27385) - you deserved it (2322)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:15am - kids - by BobsBabe2 - United States

Today, my fiancé decided he wants a baby only because our dog is good, quiet, and falls asleep as soon as he starts to cradle her. He thinks a baby will be just like that. FML

#20445378
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21993) - you deserved it (2322)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:49pm - animals - by Twiggysucks68 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my wife has the flu, while I have strep throat. We have a two-year-old toddler and have no clue as to who's more contagious and who should take care of her as to not get her sick. Yay for the entire day of surgical masks and Sesame Street. FML

#20448554
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26268) - you deserved it (2322)

On 01/08/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Curly (man) - United States (Virginia)



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