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Today, my mom told me to clean the house up because she wants to make good impression on the cleaning lady. FML

#18933049
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29750) - you deserved it (2791)

On 01/28/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by messyvictor (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was chased out of my own house by my wife's lover's dog. FML

#21352647
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35628) - you deserved it (2791)

On 02/09/2015 at 9:53am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my friend took our prank war too far when he secretly added peanuts to my food. I have a peanut allergy. FML

#21289188
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34224) - you deserved it (2791)

On 10/31/2014 at 5:12pm - health - by peanutprobs - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I woke up late, didn't shave, didn't have time to iron my clothes, didn't eat breakfast, and ran into the office with beads of sweat running down my face. The meeting had been cancelled. FML

#813
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20692) - you deserved it (2790)

On 01/08/2009 at 2:42am - work - by Poopalipa - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was standing in a long line at the Post Office when my 3 year old son starts rubbing up and down my leg. I asked him what he was doing and he said loudly. "I'm humping you like Simon humps me!" Everyone looks at me in shocked horror. Simon is our dog. FML

#6620817
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30523) - you deserved it (2790)

On 12/05/2009 at 7:04pm - animals - by Sissy (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I didn't get promoted, but the guy who showed up to work drunk a few weeks ago did. FML

#6691372
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31652) - you deserved it (2790)

On 12/10/2009 at 5:38am - work - by Hmmwtf (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, at a friendly get-together, my friend's husband had too much to drink and got into a fistfight with my husband. I'm seven-and-a-half months pregnant, and the friendly get-together was my baby shower. FML

#20493991
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28900) - you deserved it (2790)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:22am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad drove me to the airport. As I got out of the car, he said, "You better pop that zit on your face, security might think it's a bomb". FML

#21406694
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30502) - you deserved it (2790)

On 05/08/2015 at 9:44am - misc - by brittrus - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally came home from a semester of college, and all my parents and sister can talk about is how bad my acne has gotten. FML

#6824006
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27603) - you deserved it (2789)

On 12/19/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by honutattoo - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé — a top chef — called me at work to make sure I would be home on time for the extra special dinner he'd prepared for me. The occasion, as I later discovered, was the end of our engagement. FML

#13902066
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33190) - you deserved it (2789)

On 11/19/2010 at 6:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and sister fooling around in the shower together. Supposedly, she was sleepwalking, and he was trying to wake her up. FML

#19890528
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42500) - you deserved it (2789)

On 07/04/2012 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML

#20503942
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33642) - you deserved it (2789)

On 02/12/2013 at 6:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said, "Sure, but not yet." As we've been together for five years, I was a bit confused, but she cleared that up with, "Not until your dad has died, I don't want him to ruin my wedding with a bad toast." FML

#21405053
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34603) - you deserved it (2789)

On 05/05/2015 at 10:44am - love - by inheritance (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

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