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Today, my mom has gone completely insane and insists we only flush the toilet or wash our hands at the start or end of the day, "to save on bills." My young sister thinks it's the best idea ever. My mom makes our food, and my sister just loves to touch everyone's faces. FML

Today, I realized there is nothing quite like having your mother be too hungover to open presents on Christmas morning. FML

Today, I went onto my computer and found a cyber sex conversation between my sister and my girlfriend. FML

#768
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33143) - you deserved it (2541)

On 12/31/2008 at 10:49pm - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to give a speech in front of my class and during my speech I had to say the words "But six"; however, because of my accent it sounded like "Butt sex". For the remainder of the day I was frequently asked about "Butt sex". FML

#1040
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22308) - you deserved it (2541)

On 01/13/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by Explicit - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend called me from her parents' house where she is visiting. They were BBQing outside when out of the blue her childhood friend Adam showed up at the door for the BBQ. She asked her parents why he was there, and her dad replied that he "wants her to know that she has options." FML

#4267489
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39294) - you deserved it (2541)

On 08/03/2009 at 10:36pm - love - by Brandon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I received a 4 page letter in the post from a woman telling me she was Alan's wife. She spoke about their wedding in 2004, their two beautiful kids who love their daddy very much (she included pictures), and how much she loves him. Alan is my husband of 7 years. FML

#6683091
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46796) - you deserved it (2541)

On 12/09/2009 at 6:47pm - love - by _RobotInDisguise (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I'm getting over strep throat. The antibiotics they gave me make me have diarrhea unless I eat yogurt in between each pill. That wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't lactose-intolerant. Yogurt gives me really bad gas. So I have to choose between painful gas or diarrhea. FML

Today, I received several texts congratulating me on my pregnancy. It turns out that my husband announced he is going to be a father on Facebook, which I don't use. I'm not pregnant. FML

#20536715
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39851) - you deserved it (2541)

On 03/09/2013 at 5:35am - love - by Quiteannoyed (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I was mugged on my way to the bus stop. With no money or mobile I started to panic about the exam I had and ran the 3.5 miles to get to there. When I staggered up to the building only 20mins after the exam started, the university staff wouldn't let me sit it as I couldn't prove my identity. FML

#3022587
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53545) - you deserved it (2540)

On 06/19/2009 at 4:22am - misc - by verrine - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, the girl my ex-boyfriend cheated on me with had a job interview at my place of work. If she gets the job, she'll be my manager. FML

#13287891
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35767) - you deserved it (2540)

On 10/02/2010 at 10:26am - work - by help me! - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my dog used my stomach as a trampoline to jump onto the couch. I wouldn't have minded so much if I wasn't still recovering from having my appendix removed. FML

#13074561
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31203) - you deserved it (2540)

On 09/16/2010 at 2:50pm - health - by hmb - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was at dentist to get impressions made. The hygienist put way too much of the plaster stuff on the press. She put it in my mouth and asked if I was okay, I shook my head no and promptly vomited. It sat at the back of my throat and I could not spit it out until the plaster hardened. FML

#10705842
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34192) - you deserved it (2540)

On 05/23/2010 at 2:08am - health - by gpistas - United States

Today, I discovered a large and somewhat disturbing whitehead inside my ear crevice. Apparently it's been there for a while, because everyone at work has nicknamed it Hugo. FML

#20063555
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18912) - you deserved it (2540)

On 09/08/2012 at 6:39pm - work - by me - United States



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