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Today, my boss made me give a presentation to several senior company officials about the serious financial losses our division has made this year. Barely an hour later, my boss had palmed all the blame off onto me and gotten me fired. FML

by unemployed / 04/19/2013 at 8:16pm / El Salvador (San Salvador) / Work

Today, I started at a new school. It's a pretty great school, but there's only one problem: Everybody thinks I'm a teacher. I'm only a freshman. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2014 at 10:13pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into a door on my way in to an interview, in front of the interviewer and a group of people waiting to be interviewed. FML

by amyhyett / 01/28/2015 at 6:18pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML

by Lukey1028 / 07/13/2015 at 9:07pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I fell flat on my ass while running for the subway. Made it on only to find out that it was standing by for ten minutes. I then got to ride all the way to work with a train full of people who watched me fall. FML

by Weter / 01/30/2009 at 6:30am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I visited my 78 year old grandmother. She thanked me for visiting and gave me a magazine before I left telling me I might find something I like in there. When I got home I looked at the magazine only to realize it's full of dildos and sextoys. FML

by V / 02/09/2009 at 2:51am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I went with my girlfriend to her parents' house. They told me I smelled of cheap vodka. When I told them I worked in a bio lab and used ethanol a lot, they said I was too stupid to do anything like that. My girlfriend broke up with me because her parents think I'm a drunk. FML

by anonymous / 08/12/2009 at 5:01pm / United States (Montana) / Love

Today, I called my boss and said "I have been awake since 3am throwing up." He replied with "Great, see you at 9" and hung up. FML

by gb739 / 01/19/2011 at 12:31pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, it's my birthday. At my workplace, we always get a cake for whoever's birthday it is. They somehow forgot about me. I've been working there for a year, and my grandparents and my dad own the restaurant I work at. FML

by birthdayfail / 05/24/2011 at 3:55am / Work

Today, I woke up with bowel problems which have been causing me to violently pass wind every couple of minutes. I have to spend the next two hours sitting an exam in dead silence. FML

by pleasestop / 06/11/2011 at 4:48am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, in science class, we had to make play-dough with our lab partners. We were allowed to put one thing in it to make it more bouncy or rubbery. My partner said that he wanted to put a chicken wing in ours. FML

by Anonymous / 11/28/2011 at 10:45am / United States / Geek

Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML

by This girl / 12/19/2011 at 1:01pm / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, at our wedding reception my new father-in-law gave his speech, saying his little girl was too good for me. Everyone, including my parents, agreed. FML

by shades / 01/08/2012 at 10:43pm / United Kingdom / Love