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Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML

#17669006
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30502) - you deserved it (2811)

On 09/05/2011 at 9:00am - misc - by Brie - United States (Georgia)

Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML

#20461359
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31606) - you deserved it (2812)

On 01/15/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by veggieluver (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked out to my car to see four kids taking the hubcaps, radio, and license plates off of my truck. I chased them six blocks until I tripped and twisted my ankle. I limped back to my car and found a ticket on my windshield for $55 dollars. The reason? Missing license plates. FML

#920933
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73108) - you deserved it (2810)

On 04/12/2009 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was working Customer Service at Wal Mart. An elderly lady came to my register to return a pair of white pants. I asked her what was wrong with them and she replied "even when I had underwear on you could still see my pubic hair." The pants had hair on them. FML

#3164567
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54305) - you deserved it (2810)

On 06/24/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on my last break, a lady comes up to me and asks if she could have a hug because I reminded her of her daughter that died in a car accident 3 years before. Touched, I called my mom to let her know that I loved her. Before I could tell her, she said it was probably a scam and hung up on me. FML

Today, I was at the store when I saw that a cart in the checkout line next to me was starting to roll away and the owner hadn't noticed. I tried to help by reaching out to stop the cart from moving, but when the owner saw me with the cart, she began to hit me for trying to steal her purse. FML

#4481809
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37680) - you deserved it (2810)

On 08/12/2009 at 6:43pm - misc - by NoticeTheLackOfNumbers (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch, he looked down at my chest and said "I can't wait for the day that these produce milk." We've only been dating a few months and I have no intention of lactating anytime soon. FML

#5509745
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22343) - you deserved it (2810)

On 09/27/2009 at 4:57pm - intimacy - by e11ie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today I had to listen to my father lecture me on all the potential dangers of Halloween. He has a speech for every holiday, every year. I'm 28 years old. FML

#18062518
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26021) - you deserved it (2810)

On 10/24/2011 at 10:54am - misc - by StromyG2 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

#20147554
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23794) - you deserved it (2810)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by i fking love docb - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, I met a new guy at work who would not stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me he was her husband. FML

Today, a guy who I have known for a long time confessed his love to me. It would have been sweet except that he will become my stepbrother in 3 days. FML

#15124689
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34419) - you deserved it (2809)

On 02/26/2011 at 9:03am - love - by welcometothefamily - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend had a tantrum because I didn't like Black Sabbath as much as him. Apparently our entire relationship was based on him thinking I did. I've now been labeled "The Queen of Lies." FML

#20108628
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19536) - you deserved it (2809)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:39am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML

#21356659
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33693) - you deserved it (2809)

On 02/15/2015 at 12:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark



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