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Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML

#17748753
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27793) - you deserved it (2682)

On 09/15/2011 at 12:22am - intimacy - by holler - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I fell into a hole. And by hole, I mean a sewer. FML

#19631196
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23535) - you deserved it (2682)

On 05/16/2012 at 6:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a friend wanted to show me a game he bragged he was the best at. I beat his score on the first try, and now I have a black eye to prove it. FML

#21299775
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27353) - you deserved it (2682)

On 11/15/2014 at 7:41pm - misc - by SeaBind - United States (Michigan)

Today, my family and I drove to a mall an hour away. We split up, and I went into a store by myself. A little later, I get a call from my brother asking me where I am. They had already left to go home and didn't notice me missing from the car. They were already halfway home. FML

#1368223
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55557) - you deserved it (2681)

On 04/26/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by chippuh (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch, he looked down at my chest and said "I can't wait for the day that these produce milk." We've only been dating a few months and I have no intention of lactating anytime soon. FML

#5509745
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21137) - you deserved it (2681)

On 09/27/2009 at 4:57pm - intimacy - by e11ie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my friends and I went camping. In the middle of the night, they carried me deep into the forest and left me there. I stepped on a beehive as I walked back to the tent. FML

#7538757
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25165) - you deserved it (2681)

On 01/24/2010 at 3:50am - health - by Schrewt - Sent from mobile version

Today, my parents decided they won't pay for college because of a Fox News story that said higher education "makes you liberal." FML

#8402650
382 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35227) - you deserved it (2681)

On 02/18/2010 at 8:20am - love - by merse - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the guy who got off when the elevator's doors opened had a very embarrassed look on his face. I didn't think anything of it till the doors closed. Turns out he was running away from his deadly fart. FML

#14242742
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24792) - you deserved it (2681)

On 12/18/2010 at 12:56am - misc - by lizard (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom sold our electronic stuff to pay for hurricane shutters. We live in Chicago. FML

#16801509
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31840) - you deserved it (2681)

On 06/22/2011 at 4:05pm - money - by knevs - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was grounded by my mom because I had slept in past 11, when she wanted me to wake up at seven to do chores. According to her logic, I should have seen the note she left on the counter earlier this morning. FML

#19545380
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27134) - you deserved it (2681)

On 04/28/2012 at 11:55pm - misc - by thyisnothorses - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my daughter's "pen pal" is really a 58-year-old man in prison. FML

#20109821
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23919) - you deserved it (2681)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:59pm - kids - by ohgod. - United States (Florida)

Today, I was watching TV with my mom, when a plumbing ad came on. A hot guy showed up on-screen and said "I'm here to snake your drain." My mom immediately piped up with, "Oh, I'd let him snake my drain any day." Thanks for that imagery, mom. FML

#20101823
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20575) - you deserved it (2681)

On 10/04/2012 at 7:24pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I suddenly started having excruciating pain. My husband took me to the ER, where I waited for three hours in agony to be seen. By the time a doctor got to me, the pain had mostly gone, but it was found to be a kidney stone. I was told, "Next time, don't wait so long." Really? FML



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