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Today, I found my son's dead goldfish. Apparently, when it died he didn't flush it. Instead he placed it in one of my socks, placed that sock in a jar, and set the jar in the back of my closet. The fish has been dead for over a month. FML

#6417968
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28596) - you deserved it (2383)

On 11/23/2009 at 2:31am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, after 25 years of marriage and 2 children, I was served with divorce papers. It turns out my 51 year old, soon to be ex, has been having an affair with the 24 year old tutor I hired to help our daughter bring her grades up. They are in love and want to start a new family together as soon as possible. FML

#8400921
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39440) - you deserved it (2383)

On 02/18/2010 at 4:51am - love - by brokenhearted (woman) - United States

Today, at work, an elderly lady came up to the cash register with a flyer in her hand, and asked if we had a certain item. I told her we did not have any left, and we would be getting more next week and if she wanted, I could give her a rain check. She hit me in the face with her purse. FML

#13015077
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26530) - you deserved it (2383)

On 09/12/2010 at 3:23am - work - by ihatemyjob - Canada

Today, a telemarketer called me and asked if they could speak to my "mommy or daddy". I am 25 years old. FML

#19283246
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22079) - you deserved it (2383)

On 03/15/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home on leave after a seven month deployment in the middle of the ocean for the Navy. My entire region got hit by the worst flood in recorded history. I need a speedboat to go to the Quick-e-mart. FML

#10751307
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30694) - you deserved it (2382)

On 05/25/2010 at 5:29am - work - by Jimbo (man) - United States (Armed Forces Pacific)

Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML

#18342108
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27736) - you deserved it (2382)

On 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm - misc - by hannahlorraine - United States

Today, I was made aware that my teenage son used "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter" as a reference point in a class debate as if it was a biopic. Oh dear. FML

#20080602
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16643) - you deserved it (2382)

On 09/20/2012 at 10:58am - kids - by Hmmmm (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, whilst celebrating my birthday with my friends and family, I met a girl at the bar who seemed interested. She became very disinterested and left after my mother whispered in her ear "If you go home with my son make sure he wears a condom." FML

#5889966
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19014) - you deserved it (2381)

On 10/19/2009 at 12:32am - intimacy - by Joe (man) - Cambodia (Phnum Penh)

Today, my uncle died. It was also my grandpa's 85th birthday. His reaction to the death? "Best birthday gift ever!" FML

#7396511
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29738) - you deserved it (2381)

On 01/17/2010 at 10:58am - misc - by poppet2010 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was helping my friend put up a wooden fence at his new house. I was holding the sections of fence up while he nailed them in with an air powered nail gun. The gun malfunctioned and fired twice putting the second nail through my hand and into the wood. We had to pry the nail out. FML

#7412536
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30534) - you deserved it (2381)

On 01/18/2010 at 1:09am - misc - by Nissan_David (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went down to my grandparents' house to spend some time with them. I was in the guest room when I noticed a box in the corner of the closet labelled "Crap". I opened up the box to see my Dad's John Elway Autographed Football in it. I got it for him for Christmas, it cost me $600. FML

#7536957
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26996) - you deserved it (2381)

On 01/24/2010 at 2:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

#8956566
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20578) - you deserved it (2381)

On 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I came home early, and my boyfriend's car was in my driveway. Inside, he was talking to my parents. He walked right past me and left. My mother then says "He wanted me to tell you it's over." FML

#14349476
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30576) - you deserved it (2381)

On 12/26/2010 at 9:29pm - love - by strwbrry (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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