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Today, I realized that when the pest control man said that we may see a few more bugs in the next few days, what he meant was "your kitchen will be covered in them." It's the day before Thanksgiving and I have several people invited over for the Holiday. FML

#6441818
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24780) - you deserved it (2401)

On 11/25/2009 at 3:24am - misc - by buggedout (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I received an email saying that the present I ordered for my girlfriend's birthday will be a week late, which makes it a week late for her birthday. I sat down and said we needed to talk, she burst into tears and apologised for 'sleeping with him,' I just wanted to tell her it would be late. FML

#7334847
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43817) - you deserved it (2401)

On 01/14/2010 at 6:26am - love - by in_side_out (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a woman accuse me of trying to steal her husband over the phone, just because I called and asked for him. I'm an interviewer. FML

#17119657
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26320) - you deserved it (2401)

On 07/15/2011 at 7:38am - work - by TabbiNicole - United States

Today, I started my new job as a cashier for a drugstore. As I scanned some children's medicine for a family, I gave the girl a tissue because her nose was running. Later, my boss sat me down and told me there had been a complaint about a "female pedo-employee". I'm the only woman working there. FML

#20732082
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40438) - you deserved it (2401)

On 06/17/2013 at 8:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my mom about how my fiancé has been ignoring me and that I didn't know why. Turns out, my mother told him that I was too much of a handful, was mentally disturbed and also cheating on him. Just so I wouldn't move out and would keep cleaning her house for free. FML

#5567038
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49964) - you deserved it (2400)

On 09/30/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by Notthemaid (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML

#17093832
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27296) - you deserved it (2400)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:26pm - misc - by MIB (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML

#17140359
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32520) - you deserved it (2400)

On 07/16/2011 at 8:19pm - health - by imobesejk (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was driving down a dark country road with the windows down. Suddenly, a giant barn owl flew through my side-window and smacked into my head, causing me to drive into a ditch. FML

#20008924
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24784) - you deserved it (2400)

On 08/08/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss claimed that I've been lying to get days off because apparently nobody can be so unlucky as to have three family members die within a month. I am just that unlucky, and suspended. FML

#20969727
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48693) - you deserved it (2400)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:03am - work - by unemployed and bereaved (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, after discussing the side-effects of an insomnia aid, my doctor said that making a choice was naturally a difficult one, and that he would only prescribe it to me once I'd had "a good, long sleep on it". He then laughed out loud and called in the next patient. FML

#13616932
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20790) - you deserved it (2399)

On 10/27/2010 at 5:58pm - misc - by royalscenery (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went into a public bathroom and walked in on a guy checking his butt out in the mirror to see if he'd wiped properly. FML

#17541030
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30182) - you deserved it (2399)

On 08/21/2011 at 8:03pm - misc - by Bobby ray slice - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I discovered that I won't be able to wear the dress with a low neck line that I bought for my cousin's wedding, because my older brother thought it would be funny to mix a scented body-wash that he knows makes my skin break out in hives, with my regular one. My chest looks like a pizza. FML

#17518141
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25986) - you deserved it (2399)

On 08/19/2011 at 9:11am - health - by pizzachest - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a little girl looked at me and yelled "Mommy look, there's a real leprechaun!" FML

#19296318
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23687) - you deserved it (2399)

On 03/17/2012 at 8:48pm - kids - by Redhead4life (man) - United States (Florida)



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