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Today, my husband informed me that his father adopted a dog. I replied "Cool," he then said, "She happens to have your name." I think my father in law is trying to send me a message. FML

#13615353
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22000) - you deserved it (2499)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:46pm - animals - by Florida - United States (California)

Today, the woman I'm training at work asked, while staring intently at the keyboard, "now, which one of these buttons is the space-bar again?" She is 80 years old, types about 1 word per minute, and I have just one week to get her completely trained. FML

#17376704
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27973) - you deserved it (2499)

On 08/05/2011 at 10:42am - work - by jhftrainer23 - United States (Iowa)

Today, I discovered that it is possible for bugs to lay eggs in your ears. FML

#19348017
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26146) - you deserved it (2499)

On 03/25/2012 at 10:53pm - health - by John (man) - Saint Lucia

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer because her entrée was too fishy. I'm not the chef, just the waiter and I work at a fish grill. FML

#20771134
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40593) - you deserved it (2499)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:54pm - work - by NathanA - United States (California)

Today, I received a call while at the dispatch station for the Naval hospital I work at. It was a woman having a panic attack. Apparently, she couldn't plug her vacuum in, and was more or less freaking out. I had to take her in anyway. FML

#12162115
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21034) - you deserved it (2498)

On 07/28/2010 at 7:42am - work - by HM (man) - United States (Armed Forces Pacific)

Today, I had a dream I was on the toilet taking the longest piss known to man. Unfortunately, it was partially true. FML

Today, I decided at age 18 that it's time to put into storage the picture books that have been collecting dust in my room for nearly a decade. My mother took this as a sign that I'm planning to move out and abandon her forever, and has been crying for the last four hours. FML

#20490721
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27081) - you deserved it (2498)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:52pm - kids - by NeverEscaping (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had three things converge that should never be together: my period, hot doctor, and a colonoscopy. FML

#19687199
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31657) - you deserved it (2497)

On 05/27/2012 at 3:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in the bathroom stall when a man made eye-contact with me through the cracks. I quickly looked away, and about a minute later I looked back to see if he was gone. He was still there and was actually trying to keep making eye-contact with me while I pooped. FML

#13202314
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33060) - you deserved it (2496)

On 09/25/2010 at 11:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my wife named our son after her ex boyfriend. FML

#13633122
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31225) - you deserved it (2496)

On 10/28/2010 at 11:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was alone in my dorm room rehearsing comments to make in my writing class tomorrow. I grew up with a severe stutter, and rehearsing like this is one of the ways I keep my speech under control. What I didn't plan on was my roommate walking in. I think she now thinks I'm schizophrenic. FML

#13846681
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21314) - you deserved it (2496)

On 11/14/2010 at 10:43pm - misc - by stutterernotschizophrenic (woman) -

Today, I found out my grandfather died via Facebook, because apparently both my father and my aunt think posting a status about it immediately rather than calling family is the thing to do. FML

#20869986
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43504) - you deserved it (2496)

On 09/06/2013 at 8:10am - misc - by theblackrose23 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, in the gym, as I bent over to pick up my weights an old man farted right in my face. The stench was appalling. To make matters worse, a girl I've fancied for ages thought it was me and reported it to the instructor. I was told to leave for 'anti-social behavior'. FML

#6020793
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34088) - you deserved it (2495)

On 10/27/2009 at 6:28am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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