Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my dad's conspiracy theory obsession hit a new level of stupidity when he blurted "false flag" because our toaster stopped working. FML

#20797881
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32778) - you deserved it (2834)

On 07/22/2013 at 4:19pm - misc - by facepalm (man) - United States

Today, my friends and I went camping. In the middle of the night, they carried me deep into the forest and left me there. I stepped on a beehive as I walked back to the tent. FML

#7538757
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27024) - you deserved it (2833)

On 01/24/2010 at 3:50am - health - by Schrewt - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that if I try to resist a 70 pound bulldog that's humping my leg, I will end up with stitches. FML

#14294130
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27309) - you deserved it (2833)

On 12/22/2010 at 2:54am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's been a full week since my last orthodontist appointment and I still can't eat anything besides Slimfast and pudding. FML

#14520919
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21090) - you deserved it (2833)

On 01/09/2011 at 1:25pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while at work, I witnessed a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said "yep... that just happened" and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

#19867742
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24181) - you deserved it (2833)

On 06/29/2012 at 7:12pm - kids - by ihatewalmart (man) - United States

Today, I was walking with my boyfriend when a guy walked up to me and told me I look exactly like Taylor Swift. My boyfriend punched him in the face and told him that Taylor Swift is a lot more attractive. I'm actually considering leaving him for the complete stranger. FML

#20130143
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32586) - you deserved it (2833)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by jeanrose2013 - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I got a concussion. It was when an entire shelf of bicycle helmets tumbled onto my skull. FML

#20954433
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38478) - you deserved it (2833)

On 11/11/2013 at 9:14pm - health - by myheadhurts (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband came home with a Christmas gift from a coworker. It's the same thing I got him. FML

#21323028
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31346) - you deserved it (2833)

On 12/24/2014 at 12:56am - misc - by now what - United States (California)

Today, while I was working a customer notified me that the men's restroom need some attention. Thinking that there was just a small mess, I walked into the restroom only to discover someone had taken a crap in the sink. Guess who got to clean it. FML

#3203701
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46595) - you deserved it (2832)

On 06/25/2009 at 12:22pm - work - by KP (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after a long workout I come back to my locker, to find my lock had been cut. I looked inside realizing my phone and ipod had been stolen. If that wasn't bad enough, my keys were gone. I ran out to the parking lot to find an empty spot where my car had once been parked. FML

#5958359
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48244) - you deserved it (2832)

On 10/23/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by abdominates (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to pull cheese out of my PS3's disc tray because my younger brother assumed all PS3's could grill stuff because "Youtube told him." FML

#7315075
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29987) - you deserved it (2832)

On 01/13/2010 at 3:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was grounded for not agreeing with an article on dating my mom found in a very strict magazine. The article told parents to monitor phone calls, make rumors about their children cheating on people and not allow their children anywhere but home. FML

#14694705
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40920) - you deserved it (2832)

On 01/24/2011 at 2:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I fell into a hole. And by hole, I mean a sewer. FML

#19631196
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24967) - you deserved it (2832)

On 05/16/2012 at 6:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: