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Today, I happily announced that I'm getting married. My dad immediately shot back, "And I'm getting E.D., who gives a damn?" Just when I thought he was joking, he muttered that "the bitch" will take everything in our divorce. Moment ruined. FML

#21235893
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37686) - you deserved it (3229)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend told me I should stop talking about his major gambling problem because he still loves me even though I gained weight. Apparently that evens things out. FML

#21490532
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21640) - you deserved it (3229)

On 11/09/2015 at 8:03pm - love - by desigirl - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his friends as his "sex partner." FML

#21430188
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27264) - you deserved it (3229)

On 06/22/2015 at 3:55pm - love - by Partners (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found that there is nothing worse than coming home to a snake slithering across your kitchen floor. Except when it disappears into your cabinets. FML

#17391644
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30088) - you deserved it (3228)

On 08/06/2011 at 10:49pm - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while walking on the sidewalk, someone hit me with their car. They yelled at me for being in their way. FML

#17426296
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35513) - you deserved it (3228)

On 08/10/2011 at 3:22am - misc - by TheKunitzShow14 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad decided that he shouldn't have to wear clothes in the privacy of his own home. FML

#18724307
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30630) - you deserved it (3228)

On 01/06/2012 at 6:25am - misc - by Anna (woman) - United States

Today, I found out where all my missing panties have gone, when my 12-year-old daughter was caught selling them to the boys at school. FML

#19598679
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31291) - you deserved it (3228)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, since it's company policy, I had to go to the back of my small store to retrieve an item for a customer, even though I was working by myself. I came back to find that since she couldn't get into the cash register, she found and stole my purse instead. FML

#21321861
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31684) - you deserved it (3228)

On 12/22/2014 at 1:25am - misc - by Retailhell (woman) - United States

Today, I finally reached the point where it became necessary to give my boyfriend an ultimatum: either clip your toenails, or we aren't having sex. FML

#21405555
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30883) - you deserved it (3228)

On 05/06/2015 at 8:50am - love - by anon - United States (Kansas)

Today, I have dark hairs growing on my chest, nipples and stomach... I'm a 19 year old girl. FML

#841
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34473) - you deserved it (3227)

On 01/02/2009 at 1:06pm - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was approached by a girl who called me a slut for sleeping with her boyfriend, then punched me in the face. I'm a virgin. FML

#98260
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73406) - you deserved it (3229)

On 02/21/2009 at 6:37pm - misc - by well then... (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, waking up I noticed that my female boss had texted me during the night, telling me she wants me bad. I'm a woman, happily married to a man, and now have to turn her down somehow and not get fired in the process. FML

#13700074
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36339) - you deserved it (3227)

On 11/03/2010 at 10:35am - intimacy - by tuppu (woman) - Finland

Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML

#19255616
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34907) - you deserved it (3229)

On 03/11/2012 at 3:36am - love - by Tristan Brantley - United States (California)



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