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Today, after having lost 11 pounds following my pregnancy, I felt sexy and put on a cute outfit for my husband. When he walked into the bedroom, he ended up passing me three times, and then went to bed without a word. FML

#20077825
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22808) - you deserved it (2363)

On 09/18/2012 at 2:24pm - love - by tiffany - Canada

Today, I got home from a week-long vacation with my friend's family. When I got back home, I found the garage door had been completely demolished. My uncontrollably drunk dad blamed me. I don't even drive. FML

#20782183
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41800) - you deserved it (2363)

On 07/14/2013 at 1:51pm - misc - by nice one - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mom bitched me out for not driving my little brother to school this morning. The reason I didn't is that some assfuck decided to slash my tires overnight. She was well aware of this fact. FML

#20859259
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42092) - you deserved it (2363)

On 08/29/2013 at 1:37pm - misc - by hope they slash you next, mom - United States (Ohio)

Today, a riot broke out while I was on shift at the community swimming pool. A family snuck in soap so they could use the pool as a giant bath tub. FML

#16950296
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30863) - you deserved it (2362)

On 07/02/2011 at 3:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I heard that my ex-girlfriend was spreading scurrilous rumours about me all over our university. It appears that I distribute white supremacist propaganda, and that my sexual fantasies involve animals and vegetation. FML

#19488844
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24126) - you deserved it (2362)

On 04/18/2012 at 6:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, both of my grandparents died in a car accident. My Mom and Dad thought it would make me feel better to know they were not my real grandparents, because I'm adopted. FML

#6774079
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55760) - you deserved it (2361)

On 12/16/2009 at 2:28am - misc - by barri (man) - Costa Rica (San Jose)

Today, my professor called me out in the middle of a lecture to ask why I was bleeding. I then had to explain to him, in front of around one hundred of my fellow classmates, that my largest zit had burst. FML

#19367861
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22921) - you deserved it (2361)

On 03/29/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Jayne - United States

Today, I sold yet another £100 bottle of lotion to a stuck-up teenage fashionista with less brain-power than the yapping bastard of a dog she carried in her arms. She did nothing but brag the whole time about her jewelry, and openly mocked me for only making minimum wage. FML

#19933084
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25744) - you deserved it (2361)

On 07/13/2012 at 3:08pm - work - by fucking pissants (man) - United Kingdom

Today, a stranger was kind enough to plow my driveway during a blizzard. However, they were not kind enough to leave their number after plowing the front end of my car. FML

#20431369
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26735) - you deserved it (2361)

On 12/30/2012 at 2:32am - misc - by imcold - United States

Today, it was my friend's birthday, so I baked him a cake complete with his name written on it in homemade frosting. After I gave it to him, his mother berated me for it, saying I should have checked with her first before making a cake for her son. He's 28. FML

#20574002
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32270) - you deserved it (2361)

On 04/03/2013 at 10:51pm - misc - by JaneDoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was fired for not attending a mandatory meeting. I confronted my boss and told her I never heard anything about it, she told me that daily reminders had been sent out via email for weeks. She then discovered that she failed to enter my email address in the system. I was still fired. FML

#5607614
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47520) - you deserved it (2359)

On 10/02/2009 at 5:31pm - work - by Rae (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a text from my boyfriend that said, "Last week was the most embarassing time of my life, we're over." He was of course referring to the seizure that I had due to my epilepsy at Olive Garden. FML

#6060291
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40931) - you deserved it (2359)

On 10/29/2009 at 7:44pm - love - by Allie (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML

#5775465
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36831) - you deserved it (2358)

On 10/11/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by prickly (man) - United States (Georgia)



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