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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had three things stolen: my phone, my iPod, and my girlfriend. All by the same guy. FML

#20094866
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30476) - you deserved it (2463)

On 09/30/2012 at 8:56am - love - by Shortround - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boss "borrowed" my prescription sunglasses off my desk. She crashed her car because they made her dizzy, and thinks I should pay for the damages. FML

#20447961
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46816) - you deserved it (2463)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:45pm - work - by whateven (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked outside, slipped, busted my head, and had to get 7 stitches. Turns out my son thought it would be funny to spray the sidewalk with water last night so it would freeze. He got a laugh, and I spent over $100 on the stitches. FML

#7847949
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23749) - you deserved it (2462)

On 02/03/2010 at 3:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was bombarded with pictures of my little sister's Christmas present. It was a huge engagement ring. I got broken up with in public on Christmas eve. FML

#18631063
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30582) - you deserved it (2462)

On 12/28/2011 at 1:23am - love - by foreveralonecatlady (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to chase my naked brothers around my house for twenty minutes, trying to get them to take a bath, all while they were chasing my best friend around yelling, "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML

#19076647
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23856) - you deserved it (2462)

On 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm - kids - by ShylaMarie - Canada

Today, I was standing on the packed bus home when I had a speck of dust in my lenses. As I couldn't rub it out, I tried blinking it out for the next five minutes. Then the hot girl opposite me screams "Stop winking at me, you bastard! Don't even think about it, you ugly fuck!" FML

#1962577
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33565) - you deserved it (2461)

On 05/15/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by ballerphilip23 (man) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I was taking out the trash and I came upon a bill from a veterinary hospital. It was for $50 and it was a bill to put my dog down. My Dad said my dog was missing and I put hundreds of signs around the city. FML

#2332017
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62113) - you deserved it (2461)

On 05/27/2009 at 12:50am - animals - by KMROYALShottie (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dog managed to pull a one-pound package of raw bacon out and eat the entire package including the cardboard. The vets cheered when they finally got him to puke up the entire, unchewed package of bacon. FML

Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML

#3778
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17585) - you deserved it (2460)

On 01/30/2009 at 1:18pm - animals - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my mom, "I love you". She responded with, "What? I never told you I loved you." FML

#26936
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40848) - you deserved it (2460)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by chee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my neighbor turned down his loud music that he's been playing for months, only to turn on a porn movie at maximum volume. FML

#378
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34377) - you deserved it (2460)

On 11/23/2008 at 9:56pm - intimacy - by ptiluinthesky - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found a mealworm in my cornflakes. I had already finished most of the bowl. I didn't make it to the toilet to throw up. FML

#6431764
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23212) - you deserved it (2460)

On 11/24/2009 at 1:00am - health - by blowinchunks (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to sneak out of work to get my daughter from her school. Apparently, she had thought that hurling a bowling ball down the stairs during the lunch hour rush would make her cool. In actual fact, it made her expelled. FML

#19704812
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22325) - you deserved it (2460)

On 05/30/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The)



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  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

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