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Today, I saw a letter from Geneseo that invited me to apply to the honors college. Excited, I wrote the required two page essay on how I am organized. I then saw the strict deadline was March 15th. My little brother thought it would be funny to hide my mail. For the past seven weeks. FML

#869679
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75036) - you deserved it (2893)

On 04/08/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by daremetobecooler - United States (New York)

Today, my wife told me that the only reason she gets it on with me is for the extra calorie burn. FML

#5702503
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20670) - you deserved it (2893)

On 10/07/2009 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by fatnick (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me because she found a lot of red lipstick on my neck. The red lipstick was from her lipstick because she came over in the middle of the night when she was really drunk, then left. She refuses to listen to me. FML

#6181842
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35279) - you deserved it (2893)

On 11/06/2009 at 12:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my fiancé — a top chef — called me at work to make sure I would be home on time for the extra special dinner he'd prepared for me. The occasion, as I later discovered, was the end of our engagement. FML

#13902066
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34682) - you deserved it (2893)

On 11/19/2010 at 6:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I fell into a hole. And by hole, I mean a sewer. FML

#19631196
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25595) - you deserved it (2893)

On 05/16/2012 at 6:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after a particularly difficult late night workout at the gym, I decided to shower in the locker room. I must have passed out, because I later woke up naked, surrounded by police after someone called to report a dead body in the shower. FML

#19913171
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28414) - you deserved it (2893)

On 07/09/2012 at 3:06am - misc - by wetandnaked (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was very worried about my girlfriend of two years. She has recently moved into her apartment, and I hadn't heard from her for four days. Don't worry, though, she's fine. According to her mother's Facebook, she moved in with her old boyfriend. FML

#20578406
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45846) - you deserved it (2893)

On 04/07/2013 at 12:07am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I thought I was home alone. Likewise, my visiting grandfather thought he was alone. You can imagine the mutual surprise when I caught him stealing money from my sister's bedroom. FML

#20743925
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47947) - you deserved it (2893)

On 06/24/2013 at 1:38am - money - by pumboc (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at the restaurant where I work, a guest choked on a bone from her crosscut ribs. She asked me to bring the manager over, so I did. When he got there, she complained that the bone could have seriously injured her, and we should be more careful of where we put the bones in the ribs. FML

#21256772
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41240) - you deserved it (2893)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:05am - work - by Diachronic (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I checked my voicemail. I was really surprised to hear an adorable message from my boyfriend, who was vacationing in Florida. I was even more surprised to hear him having sex with some other girl for the last seven minutes of the message. FML

#3478288
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59257) - you deserved it (2893)

On 07/04/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by hangup (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on my afternoon stroll to my local park. As I reached the park a little boy was peeing in the bushes nearby. His mother called. As I walked by, he turned, still peeing, right to me. He ended up peeing on the front of my pants and on my shoes. My house is 2 miles away from the park. FML

#2036328
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40616) - you deserved it (2892)

On 05/17/2009 at 11:37pm - misc - by gameguy3424 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom scolded me for not taking driving lessons already. This comes a few days after she told me that, "Allowing teenagers to drive is just another way of thinning out the gene pool". FML

#17232023
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26048) - you deserved it (2892)

On 07/23/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by Norah (woman) - United States

Today, I was called ugly and viciously ridiculed by a couple of teenage girls. They were wearing uggs and vests that made them look like a freak-show of bleached pomeranians. FML

#18111338
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30534) - you deserved it (2892)

On 10/30/2011 at 12:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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