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Today, my dog managed to pull a one-pound package of raw bacon out and eat the entire package including the cardboard. The vets cheered when they finally got him to puke up the entire, unchewed package of bacon. FML

Today, I told my mom, "I love you". She responded with, "What? I never told you I loved you." FML

#26936
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40842) - you deserved it (2460)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by chee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my neighbor turned down his loud music that he's been playing for months, only to turn on a porn movie at maximum volume. FML

#378
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34369) - you deserved it (2460)

On 11/23/2008 at 9:56pm - intimacy - by ptiluinthesky - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found a mealworm in my cornflakes. I had already finished most of the bowl. I didn't make it to the toilet to throw up. FML

#6431764
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23209) - you deserved it (2460)

On 11/24/2009 at 1:00am - health - by blowinchunks (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to sneak out of work to get my daughter from her school. Apparently, she had thought that hurling a bowling ball down the stairs during the lunch hour rush would make her cool. In actual fact, it made her expelled. FML

#19704812
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22323) - you deserved it (2460)

On 05/30/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The)

Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML

#3778
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17575) - you deserved it (2459)

On 01/30/2009 at 1:18pm - animals - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad asked me to stop calling him "dad" because it’s too weird for his girlfriend’s kids to hear, because they call him dad. FML

#20901637
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51859) - you deserved it (2459)

On 09/30/2013 at 4:04am - kids - by meens42 - United States

Today, I went to an Honors Convocation for my school. I received a letter a few weeks earlier telling me I received an award. Surprised and proud, I invited my family to join me to see what award I was receiving. I couldn't find my name in the program. I was invited by mistake. FML

#247185
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49359) - you deserved it (2458)

On 03/08/2009 at 10:48pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, I received a surprise "absolute final notice" email for payment of an overdue fee from the university I withdrew from 6 months ago. Turns out, my old landlord has been hoarding their letters to me. As a result, my credit is now in the shitter and I had to pay an extra $120 in interest. FML

#5556701
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28569) - you deserved it (2458)

On 09/29/2009 at 10:11pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my new mailbox key finally arrived. Not at the front door as I requested, but in the mailbox. FML

#17211287
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33717) - you deserved it (2458)

On 07/22/2011 at 12:20am - misc - by MailMaster (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I found out my best friend has been stealing hundreds of dollars from me and my fiancé. My wedding is tomorrow morning. Guess who my best man is. FML

#20483262
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30342) - you deserved it (2458)

On 01/28/2013 at 4:01pm - love - by weddingsalwayssuck - United States (New York)

Today, my crew and I were berated by a client for not installing her new hardwood floor on time. We were only halfway through the day, but apparently it should have only taken "like, an hour?" because "The guys on the TV shows do it that fast." FML

#20861177
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42529) - you deserved it (2458)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:44am - work - by smashyonewfloors - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I received an email from my potential employers at the zoo, saying that they won't be hiring me. This wouldn't be so bad if they didn't keep sending me the same email every two hours to remind me that I am still unemployed. FML

#16485621
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27374) - you deserved it (2457)

On 06/03/2011 at 4:22pm - work - by ryjacs - United States (Missouri)



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