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Today, I met my brother for the first time in 20 years. Everything was going great, until he tried to make out with me. FML

#19094213
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43575) - you deserved it (2854)

On 02/16/2012 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was using the urinal when another guy came in. His friends decided to scare him while he was using the urinal next to mine. They jumped out at him, he turned around and ended up peeing all over me. FML

#20791582
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49348) - you deserved it (2854)

On 07/19/2013 at 12:29am - misc - by the unfortunate man - United States (Maryland)

Today, it's the fifth day in a row my workmate has worn the exact same clothing. We share the desk. I'm absolutely positive he hasn't hit the shower since last weekend. FML

#20916348
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39143) - you deserved it (2854)

On 10/11/2013 at 11:40am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years sent me a text messages saying, "Don't worry I'm gonna break up with her soon. Love you." FML

#10627
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65451) - you deserved it (2853)

On 02/05/2009 at 5:29pm - misc - by nycgirl424 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend of two months broke up with me because she said I remind her too much of her first boyfriend and it creeps her out. I've checked with all of her friends and family. I am her first boyfriend. FML

#6616832
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33673) - you deserved it (2853)

On 12/05/2009 at 2:14pm - love - by HellaBomber91 (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML

#8805892
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24416) - you deserved it (2853)

On 03/03/2010 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by sending me a text. She was sitting right beside me on a 10 hour car trip, and there was still 6 more hours to go. FML

#14104708
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36079) - you deserved it (2853)

On 12/06/2010 at 5:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up with a fever and a migraine. I work at an audiology clinic and my day consists of being shouted at down the phone by practically deaf people. FML

#15735853
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26654) - you deserved it (2853)

On 04/11/2011 at 2:23am - work - by owmyhead (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, on my metro ride home, I sat next to a woman who thought it was appropriate to continually scratch at her scalp and then eat her 'scalp pickings'. When I looked over at her hair, I could see scabs clumped together from her previous scratching sessions. FML

Today, my boyfriend got done with Marine combat training. The first thing he asked for weren't pictures of me but pictures of his car. Missed you too babe. FML

#20198694
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22225) - you deserved it (2853)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:47am - love - by chels (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML

#21296970
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32431) - you deserved it (2853)

On 11/11/2014 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was meeting the mayor of a major city as part of an internship program. Seated directly in front of him during his presentation on the budget crisis, he unleashed an enormous, foul fart in front of the entire audience. And then blamed it on me, everyone believed him. FML

#3859879
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52852) - you deserved it (2852)

On 07/18/2009 at 4:10pm - work - by justdoingmyjob (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML

#6480893
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56691) - you deserved it (2852)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:39pm - love - by Nobody (man) - United States (Illinois)



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