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Today, I started my first day of work. I was told to absorb everything going on and to get used to the high-paced flow of things. I've been sitting at my desk for two hours now, and the office has been empty since I've walked in. FML

#13276180
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17180) - you deserved it (1906)

On 10/01/2010 at 12:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I visited my family for spring break because I've been away at college and I haven't seen them since Christmas. Almost as soon as I walked in the door, my mom had me clean the living room area, clean up cat vomit, and do the dishes. Thanks guys... I missed you too. FML

#9047484
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17167) - you deserved it (1906)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:01pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML

#19981127
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23825) - you deserved it (1906)

On 07/24/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by Uncircumcised Penis - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML

#19873141
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16175) - you deserved it (1906)

On 06/30/2012 at 9:00pm - misc - by pissed off -

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a romantic date to a botanical garden in the hills. A giant bushfire erupted in the hills on our way, meaning we're now stuck out here because the roads are closed. So romantic. FML

#20132703
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14607) - you deserved it (1906)

On 10/25/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by not even a sexy bushfire - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got a message from my ex saying how sorry he was for everything he did. He also said that if he wasn't getting married and having a kid we could still be together. We broke up a year ago. FML

#7584201
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19383) - you deserved it (1906)

On 01/26/2010 at 1:56am - love - by nubbins (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out I have a job interview coming up. For the job I'm currently doing and have been for the last nine months. My manager told me not to expect too much. FML

#13152875
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18044) - you deserved it (1905)

On 09/22/2010 at 2:56am - work - by innuendom - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my mom sold our electronic stuff to pay for hurricane shutters. We live in Chicago. FML

#16801509
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25380) - you deserved it (1905)

On 06/22/2011 at 4:05pm - money - by knevs - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend started a conversation with "I don't want to break up" and ended the conversation with "I think I'd be better off alone." So I guess I'm now single. I think. FML

#19562496
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20900) - you deserved it (1905)

On 05/02/2012 at 7:05am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML

Today, my boyfriend drove to my house to break up with me. He only did so after I'd vacuumed the whole house to compensate for his cat allergies. I thought he was just coming to dinner. FML

#19325462
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18312) - you deserved it (1904)

On 03/22/2012 at 8:06am - love - by Ima in Hungary (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML

#7364490
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16393) - you deserved it (1903)

On 01/15/2010 at 7:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took a nap on the couch in the family room. My brother thought it would be hilarious to take clear packaging tape and put it on my chapped lips. Then rip it off. FML

#14442409
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21007) - you deserved it (1903)

On 01/02/2011 at 7:36pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (Florida)



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