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Today, after months of looking forward to my new fencing lessons and speculating endlessly about the people who might be in my class, I went to my first lesson. I was the only one who showed up. FML

by ManinBlack / 09/13/2011 at 9:30pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend texted me and said I had forgotten my blue bra. I don't have any blue bras. FML

by fmll / 12/17/2011 at 8:17am / Norway (Hordaland) / Love

Today, I was stuck home with a cold when my boyfriend's best friend sent me a text saying, "You doing alright?" I replied, thinking he was talking about my health. He replied, "I'm surprised you're taking the breakup so well." What breakup? Mine. He was ten minutes too soon. FML

by really? / 05/28/2013 at 4:09am / United States (California) / Love

Today, while working at Home Depot, I was asked to cut some wire. When I asked her how much, she said, "From my computer to the wall". After explaining for a while that I didn't know how far that is, she left. FML

Today, when I woke up, I got into the bath that my boyfriend had prepared for me. I particularly appreciated its smell, so I asked him what he'd used. "I couldn't find the usual bath salts you use, so I just used what I could." It's official, I've taken a Alka-Seltzer flavored bath. FML

by Anonyme / 03/27/2015 at 5:50am / France (Bretagne) / Love

Today, one of my professors left a cabinet door open whilst teaching class. The compulsion to get up and close it was so strong that I could barely concentrate on what was being taught. FML

by ChiefKoala / 01/22/2016 at 12:05pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I realized that there are more framed pictures of my mom's dog than pictures of me around the house. FML

by d0pey / 02/20/2009 at 5:02pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I found out that 15 years ago my father threw out my college acceptance letters so that I could stay home and take over the family's funeral home business. FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2009 at 7:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML

by WasteOfTime / 11/01/2009 at 9:36am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Transportation

Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML

by rkl2010 / 05/23/2010 at 2:02pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I'm the coach of a football team. To celebrate winning a game, they poured a cooler of blue Gatorade over my head. This would've been great, if not for the fact that I'm highly allergic to blue food dye. FML

by blue. / 05/19/2011 at 7:32pm / Health

Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turd waffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

by fuck kids / 06/06/2013 at 2:24pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, my mother had a full-on hissy fit because of the clothes I was wearing. Not because she thought they were inappropriate, but because I was "stealing her look." FML

by malicious_melons / 07/07/2013 at 7:41pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous