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Today, I had gum surgery. I can't laugh. I can't smile. I can't talk. I can't eat. All I can do is wait for the pain medication to kick in. FML

#18773040
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23048) - you deserved it (1968)

On 01/11/2012 at 3:03am - health - by In Pain (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many things he wanted to do with my various orifices. FML

#8972575
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17320) - you deserved it (1967)

On 03/10/2010 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by robotchickens (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I called my mom for her birthday. She started talking about an infomercial she'd seen for a combo bidet-and-dryer, and how she would like to get one so she can feel "fresh down there" without worrying about getting bits of toilet paper on her nether regions. I can't un-hear this. FML

#13415843
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19540) - you deserved it (1967)

On 10/12/2010 at 1:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to see a once-in-a-lifetime moment when the Olympic torch passed through my town. I waited for 3 hours only to get a bruise from a man shoving me out of the way at the exact moment it went past. FML

#19667339
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20718) - you deserved it (1967)

On 05/23/2012 at 11:53am - misc - by Notorch (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I took my puppy for a walk around town. I had to stop and explain to several people that yes, his head was purple because my little sister wanted to make him look like a Na'vi from Avatar. FML

#20041954
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16369) - you deserved it (1967)

On 08/26/2012 at 12:18am - misc - by AmyLeigh - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom got a new puppy and named her Olivia. Which would be fine, if that wasn't the name I had been planning to give my baby, who's due in 3 weeks. Thanks mom. FML

#19983667
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24494) - you deserved it (1967)

On 07/25/2012 at 3:46pm - kids - by madmomma - United States (Oregon)

Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML

#20112873
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21061) - you deserved it (1966)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:56pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML

#20525434
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26669) - you deserved it (1966)

On 02/28/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by she sure has an arm. - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend woke up very early in terrible pain. I drove her to the hospital and fell asleep in the waiting area. When I woke up, my car was gone and it was 9am. She had assumed I just walked home (32 miles), so she took the car. I was the only one in the waiting area. FML

#6367278
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25286) - you deserved it (1965)

On 11/19/2009 at 10:53am - health - by nolips (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, my mother-in-law announced that she's going to be moving into the apartment next to us. Oh joy. FML

#17054303
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29470) - you deserved it (1965)

On 07/10/2011 at 3:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my car broke down and had to be towed to the dealership. Normally, this would be just unlucky but I work with kids and we had been fundraising for charity. I am now sitting at the dealership with my hair coloured purple, red and blue and in ridiculously high pigtails while people stare. FML

#19687715
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16818) - you deserved it (1965)

On 05/27/2012 at 9:20am - work - by straightlyconfused - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mom told me she can't wait for me to turn eighteen so she can turn my room into a place for her to display all her antique glass dolls. FML

#8999294
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18879) - you deserved it (1964)

On 03/11/2010 at 4:07pm - misc - by heartless (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that when I thought the bullying had finally stopped, the bullies had actually been sponsored to be nice for charity. FML

#14380457
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19416) - you deserved it (1963)

On 12/29/2010 at 8:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)



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