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Today, like any other day I struggled to put my boots on, went to pee and noticed my pants were covered in what looked like a green dust. I touched it, sniffed it, and it smelled utterly horrendous. So I took my boots off again only to find that one of my cats had took a dump in one of them. FML

Today, I went to get my blood drawn for the first time. After I explained to the nurse how nervous I was, she replied, "Oh honey, don't worry! This is my first time too!" FML

#91995
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47196) - you deserved it (2452)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:37pm - health - by trackgurl (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got fired over MSN. I wasn't even online at the time. FML

#13694009
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23331) - you deserved it (2453)

On 11/02/2010 at 10:16pm - work - by werewolfoflondon (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML

#13120508
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23097) - you deserved it (2453)

On 09/19/2010 at 10:13pm - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my best friend announced she was getting married. I've always wanted to be a bridesmaid but she then added, "You can't be in the bridal party because you don't have the same body type as the other bridesmaids. But you can still come to the bachelorette party!" FML

#20194701
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29477) - you deserved it (2452)

On 12/07/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by SBCR (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was in the middle of an interview; it was going great until I started coughing. That coughing led to an asthma attack, which led to nonstop gagging. I couldn't even answer his final question, "Are you okay?" FML

#20990762
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39379) - you deserved it (2452)

On 12/12/2013 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend wanted to tell me how much he loves me. He said a lot of wonderful things, such as not being able to live without me and hoping that I would want to live with him and marry him someday. He ended his loving speech with his ex-girlfriend's name instead of mine. FML

#6721141
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34793) - you deserved it (2451)

On 12/12/2009 at 10:47am - love - by 2ndchoice (woman) - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, my fiancée and I were going on our honeymoon. Our flight was delayed by two hours. It landed when our connecting flight to St. Lucia was taking off. The airline said they were holding the flight for us, so we sprinted from D gate to A, in time to watch the plane pull away. FML

#6040297
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32201) - you deserved it (2451)

On 10/28/2009 at 3:03pm - misc - by Gw (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I met my new neighbors when they backed into my parked car. FML

#16030306
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27028) - you deserved it (2451)

On 05/03/2011 at 8:04am - misc - by Mayshod -

Today, my fiancé told me he wants a security guard to come with us on our honeymoon to Hawaii. Apparently, watching Dog the Bounty Hunter has made him feel unsafe. FML

#18379214
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22084) - you deserved it (2451)

On 11/28/2011 at 8:50pm - love - by DoggyBlues - United States (California)

Today, my father-in-law called me an idiot for buying him coffee cake because he can't have caffeine. He refuses to believe that there's as much coffee in coffee cake as there is ham in a hamburger. FML

#19742192
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19807) - you deserved it (2451)

On 06/06/2012 at 1:23am - health - by 635CSi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that if not for my grandfather gifting my dad $200, I would have been named Anthrax. FML

#20552804
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31347) - you deserved it (2451)

On 03/20/2013 at 9:11pm - misc - by cheeseburglar_9000 (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my neighbors called the police and said that they saw, through the window, a suspicious person in my house doing something to my piano. The "suspicious person" was me, in my own house, playing my own piano. FML

#20678725
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42005) - you deserved it (2451)

On 05/21/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by pianoplayer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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