Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I came downstairs disappointed thinking that my parents had forgotten my birthday. Turns out they didn't forget, they just couldn't be bothered to do anything for it. FML

#14928648
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29322) - you deserved it (2855)

On 02/10/2011 at 10:24pm - misc - by Shivvy (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML

#17361677
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44594) - you deserved it (2855)

On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML

#20622462
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54222) - you deserved it (2855)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:20am - love - by sad guy - United States

Today, I had a friend tell me all about how being a vegan was so great. They were eating eggs. FML

#21353006
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29326) - you deserved it (2855)

On 02/09/2015 at 9:32pm - misc - by LunaCrow (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I overheard my parents discussing whether or not they could trust me being alone in the house for 2 days. They then came to the decision that I'm too unpopular and unattractive to ever throw a wild party or get laid. FML

#7156329
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33155) - you deserved it (2854)

On 01/05/2010 at 12:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, it's my one year anniversary with my husband. I put on a sexy outfit, red dress and slinky underwear, and waited for him to get home. He walked in the door and asked me with a quizzical look if I was going out tonight. FML

#348
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28046) - you deserved it (2853)

On 11/20/2008 at 6:10am - love - by Ciabatta - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up to find my face all red and swollen. Turns out it is caused by the medication I’ve been taking for over a week now. Only in very rare cases it will cause redness on your skin. I’m glad to know I’m special. FML

#5974097
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27477) - you deserved it (2853)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:14pm - misc - by sexyswollen (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I went on a blind double date with my friend. My date was actually blind. Not so bad, he seemed nice, until he told me I sound ugly and annoying. My friend laughed and agreed. FML

#6461991
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30771) - you deserved it (2853)

On 11/26/2009 at 12:44pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I got a parking ticket in the mail. I don't have a car. FML

#14967692
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34442) - you deserved it (2853)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:20am - misc - by Roxas (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up with a fever and a migraine. I work at an audiology clinic and my day consists of being shouted at down the phone by practically deaf people. FML

#15735853
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26622) - you deserved it (2853)

On 04/11/2011 at 2:23am - work - by owmyhead (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, as my dad was handing me my Christmas gift, he pats me on the shoulder and says, "These were mine, hope you enjoy them as much as I did." Thinking it was something special of his he wanted to hand down to me, I quickly unwrapped the box only to find old 70's porn. Merry Christmas? FML

#6945268
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19064) - you deserved it (2852)

On 12/25/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I finished working a 70 hour work week. I'm a lineman for the electric company, and worked extended hours all week getting people's lights back on after a wind storm. When I got home, my power was out. FML

#16032358
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39681) - you deserved it (2852)

On 05/03/2011 at 1:58pm - work - by LightsOut - United States

Today, I reached a new level of commitment in my relationship with my boyfriend. This happened when he pooped on the side of the road beside my truck, while talking and making eye contact with me while wiping. FML

#19661428
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22097) - you deserved it (2852)

On 05/22/2012 at 8:21am - love - by ordinaryday - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: