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Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML

#20164794
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25137) - you deserved it (2951)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by needanewride - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had my last orchestra concert and had a large solo. My dad came to watch and record it; however, the whole time he recorded another girl, thinking it was me. FML

#20728759
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44938) - you deserved it (2951)

On 06/16/2013 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was let go from work because they need "younger people". I'm 19 and I work at a flower market. FML

#21067284
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39834) - you deserved it (2951)

On 02/21/2014 at 2:02am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, the hillbillies who inhabit the apartment above mine got karaoke machine. It's 1 am and they're singing Achy Breaky Heart. FML

#17715363
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31017) - you deserved it (2950)

On 09/10/2011 at 11:18pm - misc - by 5.9Cummins (woman) - Canada

Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pounds father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML

#17602503
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30089) - you deserved it (2950)

On 08/28/2011 at 4:27am - misc - by CooBerry3851 - United States (Washington)

Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML

#19443097
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37940) - you deserved it (2950)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a new client on my massage list. Two of my fingers got stuck in the thick coat of hair covering his back. I had to stop myself from making grunting noises whilst extricating them. FML

#20914768
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38331) - you deserved it (2950)

On 10/10/2013 at 1:25am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my five year old sister won't stop saying, "shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML

#21303585
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26899) - you deserved it (2950)

On 11/21/2014 at 10:29pm - kids - by angkal2002 - Australia

Today, I had to take bus to work, because yesterday my car was hit by a bus. While standing there, I noticed the driver kept looking back at me every now and then. As I went to get off, he looks at me again and says: "Sorry..." FML

#21252700
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45847) - you deserved it (2950)

On 09/05/2014 at 10:36pm - work - by crop circle galore - United States

Today, I found out that not only is my girlfriend enough of a superstitious twat to believe the world is going to end on December 21st, she actually thinks it's an acceptable excuse to go sleep around with other men. FML

#20146254
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28697) - you deserved it (2949)

On 11/03/2012 at 8:37pm - love - by markderanjer (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I received a phone call at work about an emergency and I had to come home immediately. I arrived to find that no one had been hurt and the house hadn't burned down. The "emergency" was my mom ran out of milk and cigarettes. FML

#16500750
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31822) - you deserved it (2948)

On 06/04/2011 at 3:48pm - misc - by A (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my grandmother introduced me to her friends as her 16-year-old granddaughter "who has never been kissed." FML

#18692493
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27228) - you deserved it (2948)

On 01/03/2012 at 12:25am - misc - by cheese123 (woman) - United States

Today, my older brother burst into my bedroom at 4 am to show me photos of sushi. FML



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