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Today, I found out that the necklace my boyfriend gave me for my birthday was actually a gift he'd given to his ex girlfriend. FML

#8013959
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25639) - you deserved it (2588)

On 02/08/2010 at 3:24pm - love - by Chrissy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend went in to kiss me. He came in too aggressively and passionately and his front tooth knocked against mine. I am now missing a third of my right front tooth. Average cost for a dental crown? $900. FML

#6950494
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28102) - you deserved it (2587)

On 12/26/2009 at 1:10am - love - by Foam (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realised that I've been deployed for far too long, when I caught myself looking down the cleavage of a mannequin wearing a bathing suit. FML

#19678152
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21693) - you deserved it (2587)

On 05/25/2012 at 12:03pm - misc - by Lonely_Army (man) - Qatar

Today, after being in the hospital for 2 weeks after emergency abdominal surgery, my girlfriend, who didn't even bother to ask how I was, made me hobble to her house just to dump me and send me straight back home. FML

#20511268
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35492) - you deserved it (2587)

On 02/17/2013 at 8:28pm - love - by noname - United States (New York)

Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML

#6612608
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19688) - you deserved it (2586)

On 12/05/2009 at 4:07am - intimacy - by lastalittlelonger (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I walked into Jamba Juice like I do every day. I decided to order something different than I usually do, and was flattered when the cashier recognized me. Then he switched places with another employee, and from the back room I hear "Hey, ugly's back again." FML

#7426136
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27250) - you deserved it (2586)

On 01/18/2010 at 8:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, on my way to school I dropped my money. As I turned to pick it up, I saw an old lady snatch it up. We began to argue when a police officer came over. Not only was I accused of being a disorderly thief, but that old lady just walked away with my lunch money for the entire week. FML

#13313177
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35630) - you deserved it (2586)

On 10/04/2010 at 2:37am - money - by melean (woman) - Trinidad and Tobago

Today, I was at work when someone came in asking me to brush their pet shih tzu. After an hour of vigorously grooming through the multiple knots, I called the owner to collect their dog. When she got here she said, "Oh, did I say brush? I meant shave." FML

#17164804
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30272) - you deserved it (2586)

On 07/18/2011 at 3:40pm - work - by StudMuffinette (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that when you are sitting on a full bench at a bus stop, some crazy person will come sit on you. FML

#18857605
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23785) - you deserved it (2586)

On 01/19/2012 at 10:46pm - misc - by BadassRumbleroar - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mother topped someone's story of their child's problems by saying I'm on drugs. This resulted in people showing up to stage an intervention for me. She made the whole thing up and I've never used drugs, but no one believes me. FML

#20924836
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43451) - you deserved it (2586)

On 10/18/2013 at 2:13am - health - by Jan (man) - United States

Today, I scored two prime baseball tickets from a supplier at work. I phoned my dad to tell him the good news. He said that's great, my brother and him would love to see the game. I said, no, I'm taking you to the game. He told me I was being selfish and hung up the phone. FML

#1926739
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61974) - you deserved it (2585)

On 05/14/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by Hank (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after finally falling asleep, my boyfriend woke me up and got extremely mad at me. My offense? My pillow was touching his side of the bed. After yelling at me, he's now sleeping on the couch, and I'm lying in bed wide awake. FML

#20158574
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21193) - you deserved it (2585)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:26am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my sister and her two-year-old came to my place for a visit. Not long after arriving, my niece ripped off her diaper and immediately took a dump on my white carpet. Guess who had to 'suddenly' leave afterwards, leaving me to clean up the mess. FML

#20892017
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38625) - you deserved it (2585)

On 09/22/2013 at 8:08pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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