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Today, I celebrated my birthday with my family. As part of my presents, my parents gave me prepaid debit card. When I got home, I looked at it again and realized it's the debit card you get from selling back books to our university bookstore. I bought my own books this year. They gave me my own refund. FML

#2039124
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41331) - you deserved it (2421)

On 05/18/2009 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML

#19517929
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22010) - you deserved it (2421)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:41pm - misc - by beleria (woman) - United States

Today, I had to give my boyfriend an enema. FML

#20038693
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18172) - you deserved it (2422)

On 08/24/2012 at 1:21am - health - by coop7291 - United States

Today, I'm sharing a hotel room with co-workers on a business trip. The walls are paper-thin, you could hear a pin drop, and I'm trying to make my explosive diarrhea as close to silent as possible. FML

#20431241
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33237) - you deserved it (2421)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:14am - work - by avoid the sour cream - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me a Paul Frank t-shirt. It says "I'm single." FML

#17839190
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29237) - you deserved it (2420)

On 09/26/2011 at 1:06pm - love - by happybirthday (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I came home from work to find my house was flooded from a broken pipe under the sink. My house had just recently had new wood floors, carpet and electrics installed because 6 months earlier my house had been flooded by the same pipe breaking. FML

#20047256
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20700) - you deserved it (2420)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by me - United States (Minnesota)

Today, it was my twenty-first birthday, and a couple of friends took me out to celebrate. After ordering us shots throughout the night, my friends took off abruptly, leaving me with my very first bar tab. FML

Today, I spent five hours in the ER with my 75-year-old grandma. Why? Because she attacked an old lady and punched a nurse in the face, kicked him in the balls, and jumped on his back and choked him. She had five guards holding her down and is now convinced they are trying to kill her. FML

#20846626
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41380) - you deserved it (2420)

On 08/20/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by Oh Grandma... - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a plaster cast removed from my arm. After telling the nurse it felt like the saw was cutting my skin, she tells me there is no way that it could touch my skin and that I was being paranoid. She cracked open the cast. Burns, blisters and bleeding skin were revealed. FML

#14484091
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41689) - you deserved it (2419)

On 01/06/2011 at 9:54am - health - by omfgitburns (man) -

Today, my mom and I heard a thump from inside the coat closet. I opened the door, and something fell on me. My mom, who was behind me, screamed, closed the laundry room door, and ran into the garage, leaving me to face the alleged attacker. It was the vacuum. FML

#17820631
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23914) - you deserved it (2419)

On 09/24/2011 at 12:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got flowers at work. I was excited until I saw they were from my good friend saying, "Sorry for sleeping with your boyfriend!" FML

#5446240
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43621) - you deserved it (2418)

On 09/24/2009 at 12:16pm - love - by Tally (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at 7am, I was woken up by a telemarketer. He tried to sell me a bedroom set containing "a comfortable pillow and goose feather cover". I was working the graveyard shift and had only just gotten to sleep an hour earlier. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. When we got there, I hugged his mother, and she glared at me. Later that day, I heard her telling her son that he should leave me because I smell like cigarettes, and she hates smokers. I don't smoke, my boyfriend does. He did all the way there. FML

#5443541
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36939) - you deserved it (2417)

On 09/24/2009 at 4:05am - love - by Sir Smokalot - Sent from mobile version



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