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Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spit directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated then shook its tail which splattered it into my face. FML

#6202329
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32828) - you deserved it (3282)

On 11/07/2009 at 9:13pm - misc - by shando - United States (Nevada)

Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML

#16103696
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36175) - you deserved it (3282)

On 05/09/2011 at 11:02am - misc - by scarlet (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found $100 on the ground. My mom is taking $40 because she was there. FML

#21495343
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24107) - you deserved it (3282)

On 11/21/2015 at 11:34pm - money - by gas money - United States (Nevada)

Today, I struggled through a one hour traffic jam to get to the airport to pick up my dad who was just coming back from an overseas trip. I got there only to find that he had given me the wrong date, and I had to drive home. Best part? I have to do it all over again tomorrow. FML

#18279451
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26152) - you deserved it (3281)

On 11/18/2011 at 5:49am - misc - by Etyl (woman) - Indonesia (Jawa Tengah)

Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML

#21149559
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43585) - you deserved it (3281)

On 05/23/2014 at 8:09pm - misc - by ThisIsWhyIStayAtHome - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I learned that even though a woman has a baby carriage and seems friendly, she won't be afraid to mug you in front of her kid. FML

#21262985
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38015) - you deserved it (3281)

On 09/22/2014 at 6:58am - health - by deathstar3548 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML

#15179914
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42131) - you deserved it (3280)

On 03/02/2011 at 9:49pm - kids - by elfy2 -

Today, I lost a grade on an essay, because according to my teacher, I put much more detail into my analytical essay than I should have. FML

#21371844
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32202) - you deserved it (3280)

On 03/10/2015 at 1:36pm - misc - by writerflaw - United States (Alaska)

Today, a man in my town was arrested for hiding methanphetamine in a hollowed out walking cane and distributing it to the population of his retirement complex. That man was my 58 year old father. FML

#259923
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74254) - you deserved it (3279)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet in a public restroom. That would have been bad enough, without the guy in the next stall saying, "Jesus! What the hell did you eat?!" FML

#21443162
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27144) - you deserved it (3279)

On 07/17/2015 at 7:04pm - misc - by AK-47 (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML

#3500742
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46987) - you deserved it (3278)

On 07/05/2009 at 8:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my grandpa died. As I rushed home crying to comfort my parents, I got pulled over for speeding. The officer told me to cut out the "fake" tears". When I told him my grandpa just died he tacked on another $100 for lying to an officer. Worst. Christmas. Ever. FML

#6926998
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46959) - you deserved it (3278)

On 12/24/2009 at 7:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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