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Today, my boss asked me how my parents' divorce affected me as a child. This is a sensitive subject, but I thought he was trying to connect with me so I told him how much it hurt. Turns out he wants to leave his wife and wanted to know if his kids would turn out "messed up" because of it. FML

#4850742
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36740) - you deserved it (2550)

On 08/27/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told his best friend to text my sister telling her to tell me that he was breaking up with me. FML

#6177758
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28903) - you deserved it (2550)

On 11/06/2009 at 1:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I managed to get locked inside a caravan toilet. My relatives heard me having a panic attack and instead of unlocking the door, they called the neighbours over to enjoy my anguish and embarrassment. FML

#17627414
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21558) - you deserved it (2550)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:34am - misc - by RhuLynette - United Kingdom

Today, I moved into my new house. I went over to my neighbors' house to introduce myself. As they opened the door I saw a telescope pointed at my house. FML

#17066979
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33100) - you deserved it (2550)

On 07/11/2011 at 2:16pm - misc - by BMike - United States (Kentucky)

Today, at work, I took an order from a stuck-up sounding lady over the phone. She said her last name was "duckling, but with an F". Bemused, I wrote her name on the order. When she arrived to pick it up later, she told me she'd said "s", not "f". FML

#20177082
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17560) - you deserved it (2550)

On 11/24/2012 at 7:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I woke up with a headache. My girlfriend said it might be from the night before, explaining she punched me while I was sleeping because I was snoring in her ear, and she dreamed a bee was attacking her. I'm not sure if I'm more concerned that she punched me, or that it didn't wake me. FML

#8758514
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21124) - you deserved it (2549)

On 03/01/2010 at 9:24pm - love - by pizzafaceinc (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my roommate was packing up her kitchen stuff as she prepared to move out. Apparently that includes the majority of things I bought last week to replace all of her stuff she is taking. FML

#17870431
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23079) - you deserved it (2549)

On 09/30/2011 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized the only reason why my boyfriend spends the night with me is because my house is closer to his job than his, and so he saves money on gas. FML

#20107548
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20606) - you deserved it (2549)

On 10/08/2012 at 2:57pm - love - by habsgurl0622 - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML

#20072555
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24842) - you deserved it (2549)

On 09/15/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by not the scalpel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML

#20543737
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34593) - you deserved it (2549)

On 03/14/2013 at 6:04pm - misc - by grandson of a p.o.s. (man) - United States (New York)

Today, upon arriving at a town festival, I was immediately singled out by a rent-a-cop. He began questioning if I had been drinking, saying he smelt it on my breath. He smelt his own breath. FML

#21227846
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35619) - you deserved it (2549)

On 08/02/2014 at 7:44pm - misc - by porkabye (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up late, didn't shave, didn't have time to iron my clothes, didn't eat breakfast, and ran into the office with beads of sweat running down my face. The meeting had been cancelled. FML

#813
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18687) - you deserved it (2548)

On 01/08/2009 at 2:42am - work - by Poopalipa - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the only guy who I ever thought liked me for my personality said he had something important to tell me. Later I got an e-mail from him saying he is "worried about me because I lack the skills to get along with other people." FML

#2741
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16289) - you deserved it (2548)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:32pm - love - by kai - United States (California)



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