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Today, I sent a student to the dean for trying to smoke pot in my class. His mother called to complain that I publicly humiliated her son. FML

Today, the family upstairs decided to play basketball. Indoors. At 3am. FML

#20928702
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41866) - you deserved it (2903)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML

#21245163
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35863) - you deserved it (2903)

On 08/25/2014 at 4:14pm - misc - by fanaticalfuckspawn (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my flatmate was listening to opera on full volume all afternoon and now he's playing James Bond on the trumpet. FML

#621
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20596) - you deserved it (2902)

On 12/29/2008 at 1:09am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that 15 years ago my father threw out my college acceptance letters so that I could stay home and take over the family's funeral home business. FML

#4508324
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86627) - you deserved it (2902)

On 08/13/2009 at 7:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working at a restaurant when my manager approached me and informed me that there was people having sex in the women's washroom, and he needed me to go in and ask them to cut it out. So I did. Five minutes later, a woman walks out with her disabled son and asks to talk to my manager. FML

#6526778
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36395) - you deserved it (2902)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:51am - intimacy - by Janer88 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mother got remarried. I am now officially older than my step-father. FML

#13646131
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47900) - you deserved it (2902)

On 10/30/2010 at 2:33am - love - by Stephie2009 - United States

Today, it's my sister's birthday. My parents got her a cat. I have serious allergies when it comes to cats. When I brought this issue up with my parents, they replied, "This day is not about you, it's about your sister." I can feel my throat tightening already. FML

#18005415
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34818) - you deserved it (2902)

On 10/17/2011 at 7:46am - health - by Cats...FML (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my jeans got caught in the airport escalators. Seeing as how we couldn't get them unstuck, my mother made me take them off. FML

#19016945
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26245) - you deserved it (2902)

On 02/07/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by courtneynaked (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I got ancestry DNA tests for my parents and myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match for my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently, both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped their minds for 35 years. FML

#20600180
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46440) - you deserved it (2902)

On 04/17/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Flora (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother called. She greeted me by my mother's name. When I told her it was not my mother, she apologized and corrected herself, but this time she addressed me as my sister. When I told her it was not my sister either, she said "Sorry, wrong number" and hung up. FML

#65383
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48161) - you deserved it (2902)

On 02/18/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by fuckthat (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I open my front door and saw a covered basket with a card from my girlfriend on it. I picked it up and read, "Hope this cheers you up." I uncovered the basket to find a golden labrador puppy. Its eyes were closed and it wasn't breathing. FML

#5541044
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68934) - you deserved it (2901)

On 09/29/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by rainedaddy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I surprised my boyfriend at work, only to notice that his neck was covered in hickies. The night before, he texted me saying he needed alone time to get his mind together. Looks like he got together with another mind. FML

#5942129
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34357) - you deserved it (2900)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:09am - love - by LonelyHeart (man) - United States (Washington)



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