Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML

#20413058
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34509) - you deserved it (2924)

On 12/22/2012 at 3:06am - work - by Iknoweverything (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML

#20660591
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50129) - you deserved it (2924)

On 05/13/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Confused (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my OCD manager sprayed my hands with chemicals because I touched the bin while throwing away a piece of paper. My hands are now covered in itchy, unattractive rashes. FML

#20833453
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39761) - you deserved it (2924)

On 08/12/2013 at 7:19am - work - by nearly a crazy lady - United Kingdom

Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML

#21237053
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40686) - you deserved it (2924)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the living room. I jumped up and went running, only to find out it was my mother, who'd screamed at some dramatic plot twist in a Sex and the City episode. FML

#21243243
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35911) - you deserved it (2924)

On 08/22/2014 at 4:26pm - misc - by leastitwasntsurpriseanal (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, we brought our Christmas tree inside to decorate. We decorated it, then went out to dinner as a family. Returning 2 hours later, we came back to find our living room to be occupied. Not with people. The tree had been filled with baby spiders, and they were all over the living room. FML

#6609748
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32864) - you deserved it (2923)

On 12/05/2009 at 12:15am - animals - by Worsttreeever (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boss asked me if I could work on Valentine's Day because there was no chance of me having a date. She's right. FML

#8007090
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31976) - you deserved it (2923)

On 02/08/2010 at 9:07am - love - by klala - Reserved

Today, while in my drama class, my character in a play has to quickly jump up out from his desk. Somehow, my shirt got caught on the desk, ripping it almost completely off in front of a live audience. FML

#13810188
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25180) - you deserved it (2923)

On 11/12/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by me - United States

Today, I did a quick load of laundry so I would have work clothes for the week. I don't have my own dryer so I dried them in the one in my building. After running out to my car, I came back to find that my neighborhood kids had added 6 sharpies to my clothes. Every uniform I own has stripes. FML

#12957316
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23113) - you deserved it (2923)

On 09/08/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by arose - United States

Today, I was walking through my town when a man on a bicycle rolled up to me and said, "I don't mean this offensively but you're really well-built." I don't know whether he was commenting on my height or comparing me to a shed, but my mother won't stop laughing. FML

#20531997
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24858) - you deserved it (2923)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by apparently-a-shed (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, while delivering pizzas, someone ordered $19.41 in pizza and wings. After finally finding her appartment, she paid me in two sandwich bags full of pennies and nickels. I had to count them out before giving her the pizza. We aren't allowed to enter the residence, and it was 22 degrees. FML

#20976643
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47514) - you deserved it (2923)

On 12/01/2013 at 2:42am - work - by JudasThePriest (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went on my honeymoon to Hawaii. My family decided to surprise my new husband and I by joining us on our vacation. FML

#3345356
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79001) - you deserved it (2922)

On 06/29/2009 at 8:57pm - misc - by marriedwithfamily (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got a letter from my college saying that if my tuition was not paid in the next 24 hours, I will be terminated from classes. Turns out account services has been depositing my tuition money in another student’s account whose social security number was one digit different from mine. FML

#229421
44 comments


FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: