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Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

#19820234
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24355) - you deserved it (3088)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a picture message from my aunt that said, "9 out of 10 kids get their awesomeness from their aunt." Normally, I would have agreed, except she forgot my birthday yesterday. FML

#20677224
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37682) - you deserved it (3088)

On 05/21/2013 at 3:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out my fiancée's been cheating on me. Her excuse? Her ADHD made her do it. FML

#21257049
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39703) - you deserved it (3088)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my pads were not in fact "big band-aids" and that he should probably remove them from his legs. FML

#21328540
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30863) - you deserved it (3088)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:09am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I met my best friend's girlfriend for the first time. After a few hours of talking and eating, she followed me to the bathroom and said, dead serious, ''If you ever touch him or get too close to him, I will cut you''. I've known him for twelve years, they have been dating for a month. FML

#21305050
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40290) - you deserved it (3088)

On 11/24/2014 at 8:44am - love - by ohwell (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year old son. He wriggled away and said: "If you need a teddy bear, go buy one! Or find another Simon!" FML

#697
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27096) - you deserved it (3087)

On 01/03/2009 at 10:55pm - kids - by sly - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing hysterically and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML

#5770681
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29711) - you deserved it (3088)

On 10/11/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by foxbrat - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I told my mom about an article I'd seen that said people tend to make the most mistakes at 2 to 3 in the morning. Without a trace of humor in her voice, she said, "Tell me about it. You were conceived round about then." FML

#19161830
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27619) - you deserved it (3087)

On 02/25/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by fmlsomuch - Japan

Today, I told my parents that I was going to hang out with some friends. My dad guffawed and said, "Ooh, look at Mary, pretending she has a social life." Thanks, Dad. FML

#20498469
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28914) - you deserved it (3087)

On 02/08/2013 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I discovered that when my mom can't sleep, she comes into my room and reads my text messages. FML

Today, I had my wisdom teeth pulled. There was a cyst behind one of them, and the dentist decided to extract it - except the Novocaine didn't reach that far back. I raised my hand like they said to do, and the dentist looked at me writing in pain and said, "No, you're fine." FML

#255362
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72958) - you deserved it (3086)

On 03/09/2009 at 9:03pm - health - by toothache (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, at the office, everyone in my department swapped secret santa presents. I bought the guy whose name I picked a DVD box-set of his favorite TV series. One of my friends got a fancy make up kit. Another got a pack of posh notebooks. I got a toilet plunger. FML

#14202172
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29862) - you deserved it (3086)

On 12/14/2010 at 1:02pm - misc - by hozzyandie (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I celebrated my birthday with a few friends at home. As I bent down over my cake, my friend pushed my face into it. The baker should have told me she put in a stick to support the cake. FML

#15914816
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36324) - you deserved it (3086)

On 04/25/2011 at 1:01am - misc - by Mr. Headshot -



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