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Today, my girlfriend's dad chased me with a baseball bat because he found a pair of my boxers in her room. They were not there because I left them there, they were there because she stole them. FML

#3897377
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46211) - you deserved it (2811)

On 07/20/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by pyrosythan (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that I have a gluten allergy. What this basically means is that I can't eat anything with wheat in it; bread, pasta, cake, you name it. I am Italian, this basically limits me from eating any of the awesome food my family makes almost every night. Here I come plain rice. FML

#13531568
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32947) - you deserved it (2811)

On 10/20/2010 at 11:12pm - health - by allergic - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and told me that if I wanted to join the Lingerie Football League, I would have his approval. His drunken friends nodded in agreement. FML

#17588509
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30683) - you deserved it (2811)

On 08/26/2011 at 7:32pm - misc - by Alexis - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

#17502057
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38510) - you deserved it (2811)

On 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by candymansvan17 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got shut in the walk-in freezer at work. I started banging on the door. My boss wouldn't come and open it because she didn't "play games". She thought I was kidding. FML

#20760145
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40563) - you deserved it (2811)

On 07/02/2013 at 5:08pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML

#21258420
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35647) - you deserved it (2811)

On 09/14/2014 at 11:07pm - work - by nocat6 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mum got upset with me for getting my first hangover ever after being of legal drinking age for over 6 years. She is a closet alcoholic in denial who hides red wine bottles around the house. FML

#7663968
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26524) - you deserved it (2810)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:49am - health - by mirrorfad - Sent from mobile version

Today, while paying for groceries, I opened my wallet to find that all my cash had been exchanged for Monopoly money. FML

#17598415
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33792) - you deserved it (2811)

On 08/27/2011 at 8:38pm - money - by KayDayParade - United States

Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML

#18444351
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33397) - you deserved it (2810)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by Rash (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my date threw a fit, burst into tears, and made a huge scene in the middle of a crowded restaurant, all because I offered to pay. FML

Today, I was discussing the possibility of other life in the universe with my friend. She said the universe isn't big enough for it to be possible, and that we would know about it already, because "there are only 8 planets in the universe." FML

Today, I was watching TV when my sister-in-law called me, laughing. It turns out my brother got his head stuck between the bars on the stairs. Again. My brother is 29. FML

#20957769
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38025) - you deserved it (2810)

On 11/14/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by AshlynnPrime - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I learnt there's a woman who comes into my store only to hear my Barry White-like voice. My boss knows who it is, yet refuses to tell me because it's "hilarious." I'm now cautious of every customer. FML

#18950332
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20410) - you deserved it (2809)

On 01/30/2012 at 4:00am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



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