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Today, I caught my pregnant wife smoking. This is after I quit over a month ago to show her my support and be a good influence on our child. FML

#18963404
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32033) - you deserved it (2609)

On 01/31/2012 at 7:59pm - health - by MCMB33 (man) - United States

Today, my mother decided to share with me that my father is impotent, and they hadn't had sex in a year and a half. Thanks, Mom. I can never unhear that. FML

#19864219
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23155) - you deserved it (2609)

On 06/29/2012 at 1:31am - intimacy - by Christina (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was waiting after work in a parking lot for my ride and was dancing a little to keep warm. Next thing I know the cops pull up to me and said that someone called in to report someone dancing in an empty parking lot. FML

#4312
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23940) - you deserved it (2608)

On 01/31/2009 at 7:01pm - misc - by HumanNature - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my doctor told me my asthma was being triggered by my dad's smoking. He wrote a note to my dad, asking him to refrain from smoking while around me. My dad took one look at the note, then threw it in the trash, saying the doctor "doesn't know what he's talking about." FML

#15977216
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39313) - you deserved it (2608)

On 04/29/2011 at 12:09pm - health - by Wtf (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML

#16965226
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41047) - you deserved it (2608)

On 07/03/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by beablue18 - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I was at my grandparents' house, when the power went out. Even though we were supplied with candles and flashlights, we still had to stumble around in the darkness. They'd left both the candles and flashlights in the pitch black, unnavigable basement. FML

#17654474
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19564) - you deserved it (2608)

On 09/03/2011 at 4:52pm - misc - by itsgonnabealongnight... (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

#20472773
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29909) - you deserved it (2608)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:14am - work - by Job Seeking (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out I was getting a divorce. My wife is leaving me for my brother, saying that now that he has money there is nothing that can stand in their way. I recently decided to send him money to help him get back on his feet. FML

#7708774
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39288) - you deserved it (2607)

On 01/30/2010 at 1:59pm - love - by hahahaha090114 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I came home to find that my mother had sold all my valuable collector coins for cheap at a local shady pawn shop to buy herself a TV. The coins in question were worth enough to start a business. FML

#18706154
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41269) - you deserved it (2607)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:30pm - money - by Ilostsomuch (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the dentist to get a hole in my tooth filled. After the dentist had injected the anesthetic into my gums, she realized that none of the electrical equipment were working. She sent me home. My entire right side of my face is completely numb and swollen for no reason. FML

#4995016
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35134) - you deserved it (2606)

On 09/02/2009 at 7:00am - misc - by someone - Denmark (Kobenhavn)

Today, I learned I have over $10,000 in debt, despite never owning a credit card. Apparently, my ex-roommate had been replying to the credit card offers I was receiving in the mail. That also explains my missing driver's license a few months back. FML

#6290019
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31436) - you deserved it (2607)

On 11/13/2009 at 5:29pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking past a group of old men exiting a building. All of a sudden, I heard a strange splashing sound, and discovered one of the completely inebriated men walking behind me, pissing on my boots. I sped up, but so did he, and he didn't miss once until he was done. FML

#8658955
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24518) - you deserved it (2606)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:17am - misc - by cman (man) - Romania (Iasi)

Today, I discovered that my name literally means "burden". This wouldn't be so bad if both my mother and father knew this when they named me. FML

#12596251
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25143) - you deserved it (2606)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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