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Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML

#20936891
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42697) - you deserved it (3345)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Asshole hornet - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I overheard my dad say "Last time I didn't use a condom, I ended up with Steven, so for god's sake use 'em." I'm Steven. FML

#21244545
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41987) - you deserved it (3345)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:19pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I discovered that my ex-girlfriend writes erotic fiction describing all of my moves in intimate detail. The whole internet gets to critique my entire sexual repertoire. FML

#21452951
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26708) - you deserved it (3345)

On 08/06/2015 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by Notsurewhattofeelaboutthis (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realised my dad speaks to me the same way he speaks to my dog when she's done something bad. FML

#13459944
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24650) - you deserved it (3344)

On 10/15/2010 at 3:35pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter brought home her new boyfriend. He has a neck tattoo, and his life's dream is to be a professional "beer pong" player. FML

#20146654
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29156) - you deserved it (3344)

On 11/04/2012 at 1:30am - kids - by PleaseDontBeSerious - Canada

Today, my fiancé and I broke up, and he won't answer my calls or texts. I don't want him back; he has my dog. FML

#19702811
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31148) - you deserved it (3344)

On 05/30/2012 at 1:25am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my friend and I went to a club. She said I look hilarious when I dance drunk. I was completely sober. FML

#21436510
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24500) - you deserved it (3344)

On 07/04/2015 at 9:48pm - misc - by Bad Dancer - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I got a email from my boss. He said he was going to have to let me go for missing so much work over the last week. I was laid off two months ago. I don't know what is more depressing, getting fired from a job twice or the fact it took two months for them to notice I wasn't there anymore. FML

#1189537
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65072) - you deserved it (3343)

On 04/21/2009 at 11:11am - work - by laxguy23 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my dorm room. He was naked and was peeing into my water bottle. He kept asking for Chris. I have no idea who Chris is. FML

#6613935
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35173) - you deserved it (3343)

On 12/05/2009 at 9:10am - misc - by thewallrules - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was closing at work when someone came in ten minutes before close (2am) and placed a huge order. I couldn't turn him away because he's my manager from my other job. He was drunk. FML

#12807710
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30909) - you deserved it (3343)

On 08/29/2010 at 4:37pm - work - by xharuki - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML

#19642292
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31477) - you deserved it (3343)

On 05/18/2012 at 3:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML

#21355574
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37282) - you deserved it (3343)

On 02/13/2015 at 9:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I fell in the shower and the doors jammed shut. I was stuck in there for hours, waiting for my parents to come home. They had to open the door for me while I was still naked inside. FML

#21364892
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29664) - you deserved it (3344)

On 02/27/2015 at 10:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)



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