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Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML

#17355075
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26060) - you deserved it (2719)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by doomeddaddy - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was installing wireless surveillance cameras outside my workplace. Before mounting them, I pointed them around the building to make sure there was a good signal and picture. I got inside to the monitor just in time to see a kid steal one of the cameras. FML

#17863596
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23066) - you deserved it (2719)

On 09/29/2011 at 1:44pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML

#17304859
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34731) - you deserved it (2719)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:15am - kids - by NaomiMadison - United States

Today, I was cashiering at Walmart, when a customer picked open a cold-sore on her lip before trying to give me her money with the same hand. When I freaked out and refused to take her money, she started screaming and threatening to sue me for "violating the First Amendment." FML

#19969409
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22040) - you deserved it (2719)

On 07/21/2012 at 5:14pm - work - by artdegreemyass (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend actually yelled, "Why are you making this all about YOU?!" after I confronted her over cheating on me. FML

#20681698
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46155) - you deserved it (2719)

On 05/23/2013 at 12:40pm - love - by a single fuck (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I caught my neighbor picking my flowers out of the planter on my porch. When I said something to her, she ran off and knocked over the planter, smashing it. She is now acting like nothing happened. FML

Today, my parents and I went to the movies for my mom's birthday. After the movie, my mom and dad got into a fight, and left me at the movies. My cell phone was dead, and my house was about 12 miles away. They finally came and picked me up, hours later. FML

#6457237
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28140) - you deserved it (2718)

On 11/26/2009 at 1:18am - misc - by moviewalker (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a box of chocolates for Christmas. I thought it was sweet until I noticed the heart drawn on the back. It's the same box of chocolates I gave him for Christmas. Christmas last year. FML

#6933650
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28455) - you deserved it (2718)

On 12/25/2009 at 2:04am - love - by HeSucks (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, while talking about my plans for college, I was interrupted so my family could discuss my brother's zit. FML

#13492524
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21411) - you deserved it (2718)

On 10/17/2010 at 10:54pm - misc - by kitty (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML

#14752414
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22900) - you deserved it (2718)

On 01/29/2011 at 1:06am - health - by Poopie (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while refereeing a soccer game, I was accused of being racist, blind, and a fascist by spectators. The game was played by a group of third graders. FML

#20957478
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36402) - you deserved it (2718)

On 11/14/2013 at 12:21pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got home from a long day at work, hoping to just fix dinner and relax, only to find that my cat had come into the house with a rabbit, and is now stuck underneath the cabinet. FML

#21263396
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28025) - you deserved it (2718)

On 09/22/2014 at 9:04pm - animals - by madisonbubch - United States (Kentucky)

Today, realized I need a new job. This happened when I was seriously considering ways to break my leg so I could stay at home for a day and not have to deal with my boss. FML

#21291344
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28402) - you deserved it (2718)

On 11/03/2014 at 4:16pm - work - by I don't want to be here anymore - Canada (Alberta)



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