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Today, while working at the bakery, I slipped on a pen. I dropped the pie rack I was holding full of pies right on my face. I now have a burn mark on my cheek that looks like a swastika. FML

#13466865
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29214) - you deserved it (3011)

On 10/16/2010 at 12:41am - work - by hannahj88 - Australia

Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML

#14610612
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44252) - you deserved it (3011) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML

#20450908
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36294) - you deserved it (3011)

On 01/09/2013 at 10:15pm - love - by wtf dad - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom got pissed off at my doctor and called him a quack. She did this because he reassured her that I don't show any signs of the mental retardation that she's convinced herself I must have. FML

#20993646
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45756) - you deserved it (3011)

On 12/15/2013 at 4:48pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Croatia (Licko-Senjska)

Today, I was at my mom's funeral. My sisters and I were sitting in the front row. The funeral director, whom we had met with twice before, was going around greeting everyone. When she got to us, she asked where our mom was. Seriously? FML

#21189397
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56511) - you deserved it (3011)

On 06/26/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Alex - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I sent a text message to this girl I've been flirting with for a while now saying "How about coffee?". To which she answered "Great idea, I'll go and make myself one right now". FML

#705
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23843) - you deserved it (3010)

On 01/05/2009 at 1:16am - love - by Charly - Sent from mobile version

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. In order to make a good impression I was as polite as possible and tried to be as engaging as I could. Near the end of dinner my girlfriend's mom says, "I liked your old boyfriend better." FML

#785377
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57809) - you deserved it (3010)

On 04/03/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by str3tch - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I'm getting kicked out of my flat because my drunk friends stole a pony and left it tied outside. FML

#17669700
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26145) - you deserved it (3010)

On 09/05/2011 at 11:03am - misc - by thefrightening1 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I found out that my wife purposely eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to get out of kissing me. I'm deathly allergic to peanuts. FML

#18898417
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34893) - you deserved it (3010)

On 01/24/2012 at 12:31pm - love - by Allergic (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my grandparents came over to visit. I'm still not sure if they came to see me or my dog. FML

#20990443
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34954) - you deserved it (3010)

On 12/12/2013 at 6:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

#21202372
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41654) - you deserved it (3010)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:26am - work - by MaddyN - United States (Oregon)

Today, my brother decided it would be funny to squirt disappearing ink on my wedding dress right before I walked down the aisle. It didn't disappear. FML

#4080765
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66976) - you deserved it (3009)

On 07/27/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by randomnamehere (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while at my boxing gym, an old man came inside and did the oddest drunk dance in order to serenade me. I'm a fighter and fine with taking punches to the face, but froze in terror at the sight of this. FML

#17545368
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22011) - you deserved it (3009)

On 08/22/2011 at 3:44am - misc - by No Action Fighter - United States (California)



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