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Today, while walking on the sidewalk, someone hit me with their car. They yelled at me for being in their way. FML

#17426296
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32066) - you deserved it (2967)

On 08/10/2011 at 3:22am - misc - by TheKunitzShow14 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was using a public restroom. As I lowered my pants, a man's head and arms popped out over the divider. He took a picture and immediately rushed out. FML

#20779019
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46531) - you deserved it (2967)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:40am - misc - by Anna - United States (New York)

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39915) - you deserved it (2967)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I met my husband's old high school sweetheart. My mother-in-law introduced me to her as "one of my son's friends." We've been married for over eight years. FML

#16771812
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36635) - you deserved it (2966)

On 06/20/2011 at 10:40pm - love - by minnEmouse (woman) - United States

Today, as I turned the shower on, I got covered in gravy. Turns out, my friends had unscrewed the shower head, filled it with gravy granules, then screwed it back on. FML

#19319473
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26750) - you deserved it (2966)

On 03/21/2012 at 7:46am - health - by J Rush - United Kingdom (Powys)

Today, I was having a really vivid dream in which I had to take a penalty kick to win the World Cup for the USA. I took the kick, but in reality, I smashed my foot against my bedroom wall and broke four of my toes. I also missed the kick in my dream. FML

#19959612
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25644) - you deserved it (2966)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:05pm - health - by owwwww - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got fired via text. The last sentence was, "Wish you the best, take care!" FML

#16476285
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26718) - you deserved it (2965)

On 06/02/2011 at 11:08pm - work - by amf (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I got my first job after having spent months looking, and graduating college in the meantime. I got it based on my pre-college qualifications. FML

#17928549
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23215) - you deserved it (2966)

On 10/07/2011 at 3:32pm - work - by jdmarine83 - United States

Today, my kitchen nearly burned down because the fire alarm didn't detect the plumes of smoke wafting through the kitchen. This is the same alarm that wails when I use the toaster. FML

#18825531
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29643) - you deserved it (2965)

On 01/16/2012 at 3:18pm - misc - by Lea (woman) - Denmark (Sjelland)

Today, my car was found with a smashed window and a torn-apart steering column, in order to hot-wire it. The thief didn't get away with my car, though. The engine was in the garage, where I've been working on it for two days. FML

Today, I told my girlfriend I have only one testicle. Her reaction? "Eeew, balls are gross!" I'm glad to know I'm only half as gross as other guys. FML

#5463165
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21823) - you deserved it (2964)

On 09/25/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by lone_ranger (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I held a container while a patient tried to throw up in it. She missed. FML

#6268866
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26984) - you deserved it (2964)

On 11/12/2009 at 2:14am - work - by FML (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, a guy I've liked for a while asked if he could talk to me during break. He'd never done that before, so I was excited and said yes. As soon as we both sat down, he asked if I'd help him get a date with my best friend. FML

#14073142
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29454) - you deserved it (2964)

On 12/03/2010 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina (Santa Fe)



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