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Today, my parents grounded me and took away my phone, iPod and door. That's right, my door. They think that because I was stumbling and couldn't walk straight last night, I must have been out drinking. They know I suffer from chronic vertigo, but don't believe I was having an attack. FML

#16608434
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40891) - you deserved it (2930)

On 06/11/2011 at 9:06am - health - by sickbaby (woman) - Singapore

Today, I had to go to a big dinner with my insane relatives. Highlights of conversation included my sister telling us about the "country of Iowa", my dad accusing me of faking my chronic fatigue syndrome, and my grandpa claiming that Nelson Mandela is the Antichrist. FML

#20941414
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35651) - you deserved it (2930)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:38pm - misc - by FUCK ME, MAKE IT STOP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML

Today, as a recovering alcoholic, I called my brother to share the news that I've been sober for a month. He invited me to a bar to celebrate. FML

#18752093
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29140) - you deserved it (2929)

On 01/08/2012 at 11:07pm - health - by Jonny - United States (California)

Today, I realized that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll always be remembered for being the son of a woman so stupid that she claimed she used to be Elvis Presley's mistress. She was still an infant when he died. FML

#20968220
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43409) - you deserved it (2929)

On 11/23/2013 at 6:45pm - misc - by fs (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML

#21213089
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35328) - you deserved it (2929)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Cura?ao

Today, I went on a first date. I didn't know that licking my neck was on the agenda. FML

#21291715
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29328) - you deserved it (2929)

On 11/04/2014 at 1:24am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a customer told my boss I was too pushy because I asked her what bra size she wears. I work at a lingerie store. I got a stern lecture from my boss. FML

#21240726
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39086) - you deserved it (2928)

On 08/18/2014 at 10:59pm - work - by sorrynotsorry (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned my 40 year old father is marrying a girl barely a year and a half older than me. She told me not to be afraid to call her mom. I was torn between punching her in the face and vomiting. FML

#3264690
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66555) - you deserved it (2927)

On 06/27/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by OfCourse (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while going through airport security the lady asked why I folded everything so small. I said that I was going away for a month and needed to fit a lot of stuff in only one bag. She smiled, nodded and then dumped my luggage to search for "drugs and other illegal teen things." FML

#3811279
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49837) - you deserved it (2927)

On 07/16/2009 at 7:39pm - misc - by search_me (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend decided to be very naughty and placed her underwear in my backpack. I wish she had told me, because it slipped into a folder that contained my project data for my professor. So, after class, I got sent to the Dean of Students' office to talk about sexual harassment. FML

#5605525
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34916) - you deserved it (2927)

On 10/02/2009 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can and continuing to make our sandwiches. FML

#20863339
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37409) - you deserved it (2927)

On 09/01/2013 at 4:04pm - misc - by no no no no no no no no no no no fuck no (woman) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML

#21384025
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36289) - you deserved it (2927)

On 03/30/2015 at 6:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)



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