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Today, at work, I was on my break when I had to use the bathroom. I was on the toilet taking a dump when the door latch loosened and the door swung open. The little girl standing there took one look and screamed. Security busted in. My pants were still down. FML

#5154574
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29706) - you deserved it (2075)

On 09/09/2009 at 7:30pm - work - by slashteddy (woman) - United States

Today, my parents brought me an ice cream birthday cake. I would think after 23 years they would remember my lactose intolerance. FML

#14161445
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23989) - you deserved it (2075)

On 12/11/2010 at 1:11am - misc - by ShaunBomb - United States (Kansas)

Today, I began training my replacement at work. She's a senior citizen. She got excited when I taught her how to highlight text on the screen and double-click the mouse because she "never knew how to do those fancy tricks." The job is entirely computer-based. I have to train her for 6 weeks. FML

#13869223
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22195) - you deserved it (2075)

On 11/16/2010 at 8:34pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was dragged to the food store with my mom. While we were shopping, the fire alarm went off. My mom pushed the cart at me, nearly knocking me over, and sprinted for the door. FML

#17424598
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24140) - you deserved it (2075)

On 08/10/2011 at 12:31am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a highly intoxicated man came into my workplace and complained that the medicine that I'd prescribed for his dog almost choked him. I work at Blockbuster. FML

#17948173
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25707) - you deserved it (2075)

On 10/09/2011 at 11:30pm - work - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents tried to convince me to get a divorce. My wife and I are perfectly fine. FML

#18754644
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25150) - you deserved it (2075)

On 01/09/2012 at 4:08am - love - by rook - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at the mall with my friend. A lady came up to us and told my friend that she could be a model. Then the lady looked at me and said, "Oh... Nice shoes." FML

#19790589
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21870) - you deserved it (2075)

On 06/15/2012 at 1:54am - misc - by Rose (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was rushed to the ER due to a very swollen foot and high fever. The doctors said I just have a tissue infection but my parents believe I have a flesh eating disease. I can hear them discussing my future with an amputated leg. FML

#20652691
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39403) - you deserved it (2075)

On 05/09/2013 at 7:18pm - health - by iLikeMyLegs - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML

#20999316
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40590) - you deserved it (2075)

On 12/20/2013 at 4:05pm - misc - by nopissleft (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I got a call from my girlfriend of 13 months. She told me that she had gotten chlamydia from the guy she cheated on me with, and that I most likely have it too. I gave her a diamond ring, she gave me chlamydia. FML

#6694429
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23695) - you deserved it (2074)

On 12/10/2009 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by Godi (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was asked by my mom if I could have a joint-birthday party with her dog because it would be the dog's "big 1-0." She was completely serious. FML

#6822450
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21192) - you deserved it (2074)

On 12/19/2009 at 1:20am - animals - by dog_day (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was washing my hair in the shower when the water went ice cold. It's 20 degrees outside and we have soft water which takes a longer time to wash away soap. FML

#7520027
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17217) - you deserved it (2074)

On 01/23/2010 at 12:53pm - misc - by Moondoggie_ggk69 (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, some kids stole all four wheels off my car. They were nice enough to leave a note and some money though, "for the bus". FML

#16019769
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27498) - you deserved it (2074)

On 05/02/2011 at 2:47pm - misc - by teinage - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)



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