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Today, my future father in law motorboated my breasts as I bent down to give him a hug goodbye. The rest of the family stood there laughing. This is what I'm marrying into? FML

#6665915
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21555) - you deserved it (2763)

On 12/08/2009 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by umm - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years called my house even though I was with him at the time. He needed to talk to my mom. He asked her to break up with me for him. FML

#12655431
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29248) - you deserved it (2763)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:05am - love - by justmylife (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up early to go to church with my parents. When I got in the car, I was struck with the worst diarrhea I've ever had in my life. My parents told me I'd be cleaning the car out when we got there, because if we turned around, we'd be late. FML

#14521261
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24850) - you deserved it (2763)

On 01/09/2011 at 2:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, we had our first rainstorm in weeks. Thirty seconds before it started, my window broke in the "down" position from overuse, since last week the air conditioning in my car gave out. Now I have a hot, wet car. FML

#12431823
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21453) - you deserved it (2763)

On 08/10/2010 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML

#15048725
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27567) - you deserved it (2763)

On 02/20/2011 at 3:35am - misc - by Katie - Reserved

Today, I went to the dentist to get a filling. Instead of giving me Novocaine, my dentist decided he was going to use a special new paste on me while he drilled. It didn't work. FML

#16764992
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32523) - you deserved it (2763)

On 06/20/2011 at 3:21pm - health - by StupidDentist (man) - United States (California)

Today, at the hospital I work at, I had to deliver my best friend's baby. I later found out that my ex boyfriend was the father. Normally this wouldn't faze me, but it did because we broke up last month. FML

#20429423
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43526) - you deserved it (2763)

On 12/29/2012 at 3:25am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML

#20845971
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40188) - you deserved it (2763)

On 08/20/2013 at 4:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I met up with my estranged father for the first time in almost 15 years. I saw him again later, while he was robbing my house. FML

Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML

#1704585
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62794) - you deserved it (2762)

On 05/06/2009 at 9:43pm - misc - by Gumfanatic302 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML

#12376475
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39613) - you deserved it (2762)

On 08/07/2010 at 7:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I found a picture of my military husband kissing another woman. His excuse? It was photoshopped. FML

#17817952
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28504) - you deserved it (2762)

On 09/24/2011 at 1:20am - love - by astocks - United States (New York)

Today, my husband told me the only reason we're still together is because he can't afford to move out. FML

#17748874
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26884) - you deserved it (2762)

On 09/15/2011 at 12:42am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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