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Today, I was taking a shower for the first time in my new apartment. The shower head broke off the wall and slammed onto my head while spraying water everywhere. I tried to stop the water but only stopped the cold and got burnt by the hot. FML

#12638821
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27543) - you deserved it (2870)

On 08/20/2010 at 2:14am - misc - by home owner - United States (New York)

Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML

#19472995
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39188) - you deserved it (2871)

On 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by jonasister (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, my boyfriend was showing me photos on his iPod when he came across a photo of a half-naked girl. He tried to play it off by quickly changing it, only to reveal even more half-naked girls. FML

#20065430
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26043) - you deserved it (2870)

On 09/09/2012 at 10:12pm - love - by hatemyluck (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I came home after a long day at work, and decided to tidy up a bit before finally settling down to relax. I went to take the garbage out, when the bag split and out fell the trash along with hundreds of tiny red ants. FML

#20995776
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36645) - you deserved it (2870)

On 12/17/2013 at 12:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it's my 20th birthday. I recently came home from college to visit my family, after my mother had a stroke a few weeks back. She ended up being the only person who remembered to get me anything. She also thinks it's still 2009. FML

#21286282
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34992) - you deserved it (2870)

On 10/27/2014 at 12:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my navy boyfriend, who's stationed in Italy, calls me to say he is in San Francisco and is coming to see me. After scrambling to get ready, he calls me back to say he doesn't recognize the train station. After searching on Google Maps, it becomes clear he's drunk at Oktoberfest. In Germany. FML

#5438718
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40246) - you deserved it (2869)

On 09/23/2009 at 10:47pm - love - by Spatch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got my lip pierced. By the orthodontist. FML

#13518841
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36655) - you deserved it (2869)

On 10/19/2010 at 11:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at the DMV, I was told to push my forehead against a vision testing device on the counter to activate a blinking light. When nothing happened, the employee started yelling for me to push harder. I tried again, only to knock the whole thing into her. FML

#16745803
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26539) - you deserved it (2869)

On 06/19/2011 at 1:51pm - misc - by sabadaba - United States (Arizona)

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

#20536627
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37396) - you deserved it (2869)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my girlfriend called me and told me "she has a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So, I hurried home only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML

#5851375
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39795) - you deserved it (2868)

On 10/16/2009 at 1:33pm - animals - by syn1734 - United States

Today, I was at work and was confronted by a customer wanting to get a "Nemo" fish. I explained that 'Nemo' needs to live in saltwater, not freshwater, like their tank was. The customer then turns around and grabs a perforated tank divider and says, "Can't I just split them up with this?" FML

#12924795
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21371) - you deserved it (2868)

On 09/05/2010 at 11:01pm - work - by christiner - Sent from mobile version

Today, my coworker convinced a little girl that teddy bears are actually the bodies of dead baby bears. I work at Build-a-Bear-Workshop, and we were working a 4-year-old's birthday party. FML

#20910133
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42142) - you deserved it (2868)

On 10/06/2013 at 9:11pm - kids - by TeddyBearKiller (woman) - United States



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