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Today, my mom called me from jail. She was arrested for having sex in public. I was with my dad when I got the call. FML

#20135378
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48365) - you deserved it (2526)

On 10/27/2012 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Monkey (man) - United States

Today, I woke 2 hours before my alarm was supposed to go off, feeling incredibly sick. I then ran downstairs and had diarrhea while I threw up. I spent Valentine's Day having diarrhea every time I coughed or sneezed. FML

#14983932
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26453) - you deserved it (2525)

On 02/15/2011 at 12:09am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to the DMV for my second attempt to get my license. I did everything perfectly, stayed at the speed limit, did my three-point turn flawlessly, and parked nicely. The lady failed me because I wasn't using the stick shift right. My car doesn't have a stick shift. FML

#17746591
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30272) - you deserved it (2525)

On 09/14/2011 at 8:13pm - misc - by dmvfail - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my coworker was talking to me about how there's always that one person in a group of friends that everyone secretly dislikes and laughs at. I realized that person is me. FML

#19434317
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21739) - you deserved it (2525)

On 04/09/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Foreveralone (woman) - United States

Today, the guy who confessed his love for me also confessed that in his rage, he almost shot the last girl who broke his heart. FML

#20518576
156 comments

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML

#17448380
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25716) - you deserved it (2524)

On 08/12/2011 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, My 5 year old sister informed me she had left me a present in my bed. She had tied a ribbon around a dead rat's neck and propped it up on my pillow. The label says his name was Bert. FML

#3237157
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40801) - you deserved it (2523)

On 06/26/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by toothfairy (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my dog was diagnosed with depression. I got him to help with my depression. I guess we can just be miserable together. FML

#20039193
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27309) - you deserved it (2523)

On 08/24/2012 at 11:45am - animals - by alix - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

#20098468
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32910) - you deserved it (2523)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my company filed for bankruptcy, but the reorganize kind where it still functions. There are no funds to give out paychecks any time soon. They won't fire me. If I voluntarily quit, I cannot file for unemployment. I'm now an unpaid intern. FML

#2181067
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51558) - you deserved it (2522)

On 05/22/2009 at 2:39pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that I'm immune to laughing gas and partially immune to novocaine while I was getting two teeth pulled. FML

#4609790
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49491) - you deserved it (2522)

On 08/17/2009 at 8:14pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mother asked my live-in girlfriend if she's had any problems with me peeing the bed. I haven't wet the bed since I was seven and I'd hoped to take that secret to my grave. FML

#13345478
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24820) - you deserved it (2522)

On 10/06/2010 at 6:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I looked at my house in Google Street View for the first time and noticed an unfamiliar vehicle in the driveway. When I asked my wife about it, she admitted to have an ongoing affair. Apparently the entire world knew my wife was having an affair before I did. FML

#6808651
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37106) - you deserved it (2521)

On 12/18/2009 at 9:31am - love - by cheaters_should_die (man) - United States (Illinois)



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Tuesday 22 July 2014

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