Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I flew across country to college. My luggage did not. FML

#21262400
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35165) - you deserved it (2822)

On 09/21/2014 at 11:51am - misc - by Need Clothes Now (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying to call him. When I did, it went straight to voicemail. It was a recording of him breaking up with me. He broke up with me over the phone, without even talking to me. FML

#4460774
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53383) - you deserved it (2821)

On 08/11/2009 at 10:05pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother's graduation presents came for my sisters. Not only did she remember to send them cards, but money too. My graduation was a year ago, I received nothing, and last time she saw me, she didn't know my name. FML

Today, my girlfriend referred to her yeast infection as "making bread." I can never look at bread the same way. FML

#18623921
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24966) - you deserved it (2821)

On 12/27/2011 at 10:15am - health - by themuffinman (man) - Japan

Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML

#20134163
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20988) - you deserved it (2821)

On 10/26/2012 at 12:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, a guy came into the small coffee shop I work at, and got angry because I wouldn't accept his Starbucks gift card as valid payment. When I told him we clearly aren't a Starbucks, he said "It's all the same shit" and ended up throwing a punch at me. FML

#20999349
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42736) - you deserved it (2821)

On 12/20/2013 at 4:48pm - work - by the customer is always a cunt (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out the "small termite problem" the inspector told me about wasn't so small when a box from the attic fell through the floor and hit me in the head. FML

#12697631
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26328) - you deserved it (2820)

On 08/23/2010 at 5:03am - health - by concusion - United States (Texas)

Today, at the microbiology lab, I discovered that the guy who took the shift before me didn't sterilize the work space very well. I am now blowing chunks from both ends from a very nasty strain of E. Coli. My company blames me. FML

#18502844
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29015) - you deserved it (2820)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:33pm - work - by microtech - United States (New York)

Today, a woman called the store I work for. When she found out it was a wrong number, she started to cry and asked me to stay on the line with her, talking about her dead husband and how she hasn't laughed in years. FML

Today, I took a nap because I've been sick for the past week and I was exhausted. When I woke up, my hair, shirt, pillow, and bedsheets were soaked. I threw up all over myself in my sleep. FML

#14095720
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30205) - you deserved it (2819)

On 12/05/2010 at 1:25pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, while shopping, I saw a little girl and her mom. The girl was pouting so I tried to cheer her up by asking her if she was a princess, because she was so pretty. She smiled but her mom looked at me with disgust and told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML

#20065720
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27130) - you deserved it (2819)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:39am - kids - by well okay then (woman) - United States

Today, as always, I have a very weak stomach. I'm in Japan right now, and all the unfamiliar foods set me off every time I eat. I can choose between having a great time and starving myself half to death, or sitting in my hotel room all day with stomach pains and diarrhea. FML

#19899821
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19694) - you deserved it (2819)

On 07/06/2012 at 12:04pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I asked a co-worker out for a drink. She said yes, then my older brother who was visiting decided to come behind me and pull down my pants in front of the office. Then she said no. FML

#86812
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43506) - you deserved it (2818)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:12am - love - by robotzzz (man) - Sent from mobile version



Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML
  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

Friday 30 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: