Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was outside at a café and looked at my phone. When I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML

#20547346
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36511) - you deserved it (2566)

On 03/17/2013 at 7:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was on a bumpy bus ride and had to write a note, so I held my notebook against the bus window to steady my hand. An elderly woman then yelled at me, accusing me of drawing graffiti on the window. The bus driver kicked me off and I had to wait an hour in the rain for the next bus. FML

#20561950
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32996) - you deserved it (2566)

On 03/27/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by 00sasori - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at my grandmother's funeral there was a fight about inheritance. It was my teenage daughters arguing about what they get when I die. FML

#19337842
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24361) - you deserved it (2565)

On 03/24/2012 at 9:20am - kids - by thammer - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend received a scam email about her great uncle dying and leaving her money. She not only believed it, but she also used my credit card details for it. FML

#20014872
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25607) - you deserved it (2565)

On 08/11/2012 at 5:13am - money - by scammerssuck - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I returned home from a two-year trip overseas. My mom's first words as she greeted me at the arrivals terminal of the airport were, "Your father and I are getting a divorce." FML

#20738269
51 comments

Today, I had to explain to my father why most of the bar was giving him dirty looks at a concert. His air guitar motions made it look like he was jacking off under the table. FML

#4921457
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34525) - you deserved it (2564)

On 08/30/2009 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Embarassed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, was very chilly. My little sister felt sorry for my two goldfish swimming in the cold water. She decided to put them in hot water. They died. FML

#7010356
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28306) - you deserved it (2564)

On 12/29/2009 at 5:57am - animals - by PoachedFish (woman) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, we ordered pizza. A long wait and several phone calls later, we found out that someone met the delivery person at the end of our driveway, signed our receipt, and stole our pizza. Way to check the credit card pizza people. FML

#14690774
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25239) - you deserved it (2564)

On 01/23/2011 at 9:06pm - money - by deepblue (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML

#18657725
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22570) - you deserved it (2564)

On 12/30/2011 at 9:43pm - misc - by axel519 (man) - United States

Today, my mother is trying to convince me to divorce my husband. He has a tattoo of a skull on his shoulder and she believes this means he kills people. FML

#19742769
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23510) - you deserved it (2564)

On 06/06/2012 at 4:06am - love - by facepalm (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my needle-phobic mother took me to get a shot. She fainted. FML

#20503278
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22445) - you deserved it (2564)

On 02/12/2013 at 2:41am - health - by shots shots shots (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs. The guy behind me was kind enough to ask if I was okay. He then called his friends over so they could laugh at me. FML

#14576368
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21620) - you deserved it (2563)

On 01/14/2011 at 9:18am - misc - by ValeyFallsAlot -

Today, I went out to my car only to find my battery had died the night before. With the wind chill, it was -20°F outside. With the hood open, and jumper cables in one hand, I tried to flag down a passing motorist for help. A man in a truck slowed down, sarcastically waved at me, and kept driving. FML

#14663711
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24671) - you deserved it (2563)

On 01/21/2011 at 4:50pm - misc - by dwhitehouse (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: