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Today, I got a bad cut on my dominant hand while at work. My boss decided to order me to juice lemons... all 300 of them. FML

#13223944
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29762) - you deserved it (2738)

On 09/27/2010 at 5:06pm - work - by FoxyManicLiar - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother took 350 dollars from savings to go to a psychic. But it's okay though, because now I know I'm an "ancient soul from another dimension". An "ancient soul" who now has no money. FML

#17354584
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26742) - you deserved it (2738)

On 08/03/2011 at 11:49am - money - by Teen With No Money (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was with a friend at the mall and I made eye contact and smiled at the worker at a smoothie stand that I went on a date with last year. He saw me, and then ducked down behind the register, where he remained while his coworker awkwardly leaned over him to take my order and money. FML

#19540774
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22015) - you deserved it (2738)

On 04/28/2012 at 2:54am - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found my husband's journal, and along with it the real reason he took so long to show up to our wedding rehearsals last year. According to the journal, it was because he was too busy wooing a married mother of five and sticking his "slut-banger all up in that fat booty." FML

#19965581
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28238) - you deserved it (2738)

On 07/20/2012 at 10:12pm - misc - by divorce? i think so (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend only stayed with me because he didn't want to "be alone," and now that he has a new girlfriend, apparently he won't be. We were together for three and a half years. FML

#6225204
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29614) - you deserved it (2737)

On 11/09/2009 at 5:24am - love - by LasagnaRawks (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I was sitting in a parked car. A woman was having difficulties maneuvering out. She honked the horn repeatedly for me to move, then looked me in the eye and called me a "f**king bitch", before driving off. I was in the passenger seat. FML

#14130272
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28262) - you deserved it (2737)

On 12/08/2010 at 10:24am - misc - by agstadra (woman) - Canada

Today, I went to pick up some of my clothes from my boyfriend's apartment. While searching under his bed he pulled out a tank top and bra and asked if they were mine. They weren't. FML

#17384017
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31164) - you deserved it (2737)

On 08/06/2011 at 1:41am - love - by ashlyn - United States (Michigan)

Today, I freaked out because of the smell of rotting eggs lingering in my apartment. I soon discovered it was my boyfriend's feet. FML

#19453848
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21552) - you deserved it (2737)

On 04/12/2012 at 1:30am - love - by Kayla (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my manager took me aside and angrily told me to quit fucking about with our customers. He totally refuses to believe that the slight whistling sound I keep making when I exhale is because I have a chipped tooth. FML

#20843134
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35520) - you deserved it (2737)

On 08/18/2013 at 1:29pm - work - by ssssssssuck a dick, boss (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

#21281604
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37098) - you deserved it (2738)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:28am - intimacy - by bye loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was on the bus when my crush told me to come and sit with him. I got all excited, especially when he put his arm around me. He then whispered in my ear "Hey, is your friend over there single?" FML

#2761787
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46685) - you deserved it (2736)

On 06/09/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by vishurricanes (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was washing some clothes in the laundry room at my apartment complex. I went back an hour later, passed my neighbor on the way in, and moved my clothes to the dryer. I just brought them back from the dryer, and all my underwear are missing. FML

#5303139
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32603) - you deserved it (2736)

On 09/16/2009 at 10:23pm - misc - by Lulu (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, a girl came into my salon to permanently straighten her really long and curly hair. After several long hours, I went to the counter to charge her. She ran out faster than an Olympic runner. FML

#17473722
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36914) - you deserved it (2736)

On 08/14/2011 at 8:47pm - work - by theultimatesalonfail - United States



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