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Today, after 5 months of unemployment and hardcore job searching, I got hired for my dream job. I called my mum to tell her all about it, to which she responded, "Great honey! Now all you need to do is lose all that weight". She allowed me all of 4 minutes of feeling good about myself. FML

#19676513
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20394) - you deserved it (2540)

On 05/25/2012 at 12:32am - misc - by daddyowl - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my brother saw my side when my shirt came up, and asked when I got a tattoo; the pink he saw was in fact my stretch marks. Worst of all, I had to show them to everyone to prove I didn't actually get a tattoo. FML

#20096505
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22141) - you deserved it (2540)

On 10/01/2012 at 7:35am - health - by screw life (woman) - United States

Today, my friend whacked me on the family jewels while I was washing my hands in the college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML

#7198019
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32283) - you deserved it (2539)

On 01/07/2010 at 11:50am - misc - by TJ (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, my babysitter called to inform me that my grandfather is stalking her. FML

#15237073
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29150) - you deserved it (2539)

On 03/08/2011 at 1:47am - misc - by ToxicSuicide (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I managed to get locked inside a caravan toilet. My relatives heard me having a panic attack and instead of unlocking the door, they called the neighbours over to enjoy my anguish and embarrassment. FML

#17627414
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21425) - you deserved it (2540)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:34am - misc - by RhuLynette - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend left me because our "political views don't match" when I told her we needed to share house chores now that we live together. I know, I'm lost too. FML

#20551507
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31032) - you deserved it (2539)

On 03/19/2013 at 10:08pm - love - by dca101 (man) - United States

Today, I went for a job briefing, and after that was told to do some editing for them. When I asked the person whether I was paid for the day, she laughed and said no. She was serious. FML

#8606116
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18336) - you deserved it (2538)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:19am - work - by synn - Singapore

Today, I removed all my online dating profiles. Apparently my ex-husband finds stalking me online preferable to spending time with his new girlfriend. FML

#13270090
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21482) - you deserved it (2538)

On 09/30/2010 at 10:54pm - misc - by anon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the student council gave us our senior class t-shirts. Our theme this year is "Striving for Excellence." Excellence was misspelled. FML

#17975485
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22436) - you deserved it (2538)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:27pm - misc - by brit (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my mom pretended to be me and had AIM conversations with my boyfriend. FML

#7957934
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31268) - you deserved it (2537)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:15am - love - by nekoneko (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, not long after having had my college volleyball scholarship confirmed, I broke my ankle after stepping on and tripping over a toy my baby sister had left out. No scholarship and no college whatsoever now. FML

Today, we found out where our daughter had been hiding her crayons. We also found out why our stereo stopped working. FML

#18619223
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21177) - you deserved it (2537)

On 12/26/2011 at 9:24pm - kids - by Peter - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML

#19619815
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26928) - you deserved it (2537)

On 05/13/2012 at 11:14pm - health - by Anonymous - United States



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