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Today, I finally realized that the only time my mother talks to me is when she needs money. FML

#9177889
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29731) - you deserved it (2940)

On 03/18/2010 at 1:18am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, I slipped and fell on my backside. The creepy security guard offered to 'kiss it better.' FML

#18724362
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28037) - you deserved it (2940)

On 01/06/2012 at 6:40am - intimacy - by only 10 more hours to go (woman) - United States

Today, I was stabbed in the chest. Not with a knife though, the under-wire from my bra escaped and stabbed me in the boob. FML

#19321337
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23505) - you deserved it (2940)

On 03/21/2012 at 5:06pm - misc - by J.O.S (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a half-hour conversation with my parents about going to college. I don't know what's worse, that they were trying to talk me out of it or that they're convinced that I'm going to get knocked up and drop out by the end of my freshman year. FML

#20492659
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26108) - you deserved it (2940)

On 02/04/2013 at 2:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my roommate unexpectedly came home with a new puppy. I'm severely allergic to dogs. When I reminded her of this, she explained that the puppy was her family now and if I didn't like it I should move out because blood is thicker than water. My roommate is my sister. FML

#20875920
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46440) - you deserved it (2940)

On 09/10/2013 at 5:02pm - animals - by RoommateWanted (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I got a call from the girl I like. I got very excited so I quickly picked up. As it turns out, she was actually prank calling me, pretending to be a "liposuction telemarketer" but forgot to press *67. FML

#20980172
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40828) - you deserved it (2941)

On 12/04/2013 at 3:50am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a man approached me and told me he wanted to drink my dirty bath water. FML

Today, I went to our school golf banquet, after being with the team and practicing every day for a few months with them. When it came time to get the certificates, all the names were called out. Except for mine. When I asked the coach where my certificate was, he said "Who are you?". FML

#6158191
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31401) - you deserved it (2939)

On 11/04/2009 at 9:12pm - misc - by RKE (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was going out to my car with my sister's birthday present. I slipped on some ice and the present fell to the ground. I spent an hour wrapping it. I could hear the present break. I had gotten her $200 wine glasses. I then had to run to the nearest store and get her a CD instead. FML

Today, I've been on the same train for two hours at a standstill due to "signal problems". We can't get off because it's "unsafe". I'm on my way home from work and I can see my house through the window. FML

#15741918
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42253) - you deserved it (2940)

On 04/11/2011 at 4:07pm - misc - by bananaman - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and told me that if I wanted to join the Lingerie Football League, I would have his approval. His drunken friends nodded in agreement. FML

#17588509
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32236) - you deserved it (2939)

On 08/26/2011 at 7:32pm - misc - by Alexis - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out where all my missing panties have gone, when my 12-year-old daughter was caught selling them to the boys at school. FML

#19598679
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27763) - you deserved it (2939)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML

#19806951
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20860) - you deserved it (2939)

On 06/18/2012 at 12:05pm - misc - by Myriam (woman) - Maldives (Maale)



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