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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my little sister and I were reading a book together and out of nowhere, she said "I love you". My heart melted and I told her that I love her too. Then she told me that she was talking to her stuffed animal, not me. FML

#4425
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32146) - you deserved it (2673)

On 01/31/2009 at 11:29pm - kids - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I witnessed the homeless man that visits my neighborhood placing bags containing his own poop in my trash cans. I later received a notice stating that the garbage company will not provide my residence with garbage service until I “refrain from placing bags of my own feces in the trash.” FML

#2339155
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48581) - you deserved it (2673)

On 05/27/2009 at 11:39am - misc - by Brook363 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother invited me to a nice restaurant to meet her boyfriend whom she's been seriously dating for a month. Imagine my surprise when she led me to a table and my boyfriend's father stood up, shocked, to greet me. Rather than being horrified, she is now planning double dates every week. FML

#3988589
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48727) - you deserved it (2673)

On 07/23/2009 at 8:52pm - love - by pleaseno (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out why my roommate and best friend comes home late three nights a week. She goes to get drunk with some guy, then goes back to his house to hook up. Who is this guy? The guy I've been dating for three years. FML

#9139236
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32453) - you deserved it (2673)

On 03/16/2010 at 7:17pm - love - by latenightbite - United States

Today, my dad came to visit me. By visit I mean he arrived, took a huge smelly dump and left. This is the first time I've seen my dad in months. FML

#16466098
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30624) - you deserved it (2673)

On 06/02/2011 at 10:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my boyfriend of two years logged into my Facebook account and broke up with himself. He is now receiving loads of sympathy, while I'm being accused of lying about it to save my reputation. FML

#19617909
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27417) - you deserved it (2673)

On 05/13/2012 at 5:26pm - love - by soso (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I discovered that the neck injury that my mom has had since last week was planned just as an excuse not to shovel when today's snowstorm came. She has planned on being lazy for over a week now. FML

#20533403
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26033) - you deserved it (2673)

On 03/06/2013 at 10:16am - misc - by Drew (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was fired when a customer called corporate, saying I was unprofessional and rude. The "customer" in question was my little sister, who I would not let buy beer with a fake ID. FML

Today, I flew home from college to see my parents. Later I found the expensive painting and hand-made necklace I mailed to my mom for mother's day while taking out the trash. FML

#1877583
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56426) - you deserved it (2672)

On 05/12/2009 at 4:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my class was attempting to raise money for me through a bake sale because some girl spread a false rumor that I was raped and that my father was going to disown me. The whole school believes it and my biology teacher took me aside and asked if I needed someone to confide in. FML

#3806644
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60479) - you deserved it (2672)

On 07/16/2009 at 4:32pm - misc - by dork (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, the guy who got off when the elevator's doors opened had a very embarrassed look on his face. I didn't think anything of it till the doors closed. Turns out he was running away from his deadly fart. FML

#14242742
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24662) - you deserved it (2672)

On 12/18/2010 at 12:56am - misc - by lizard (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got a text message from a number I don't know saying "I'm sorry, but I'm cheating on you, I couldn't do this in person because you're ugly when you cry." I haven't had a relationship in 6 years and I still manage to get dumped. FML

#17584361
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35643) - you deserved it (2672)

On 08/26/2011 at 7:09am - love - by j_babydoll6520 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, in class, I reached into my bag to pull out a tampon, which I hid under my sleeve so I could make a quick escape to the restroom. My teacher yelled at me, because she thought I'd taken out my phone. I then had to prove myself by showing the tampon to the whole class. FML

#20398872
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32255) - you deserved it (2672)

On 12/14/2012 at 1:40am - health - by bloodyfreakinawful - United States (Texas)



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