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Today, I found out that apparently I'm in Miami. I am also enjoying a five-star hotel and all of its services. Only one problem: I'm still here, stuck in a small suburban town. F*ck identity theft. FML

#20844068
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49221) - you deserved it (2840)

On 08/19/2013 at 12:30am - misc - by iwannagotomiamitoo - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a girl puked on me. No warnings, nothing. She just threw up on me, then walked off like nothing even happened. FML

#21271247
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40160) - you deserved it (2840)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:48pm - health - by Eww - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out my mom is the nude model for an art class at my college. FML

#5942211
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52902) - you deserved it (2839)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:30am - misc - by scarred - Sent from mobile version

Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML

#18341424
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31028) - you deserved it (2839)

On 11/24/2011 at 9:09pm - intimacy - by vistingherfamily (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a migraine. I work in an arcade with lots of bright lights, loud noises and screaming children. I was stuck in there for 7 hours. FML

#19299225
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28709) - you deserved it (2839)

On 03/18/2012 at 7:06am - work - by Alli.M - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, my hay-fever started. I'm five months pregnant, and every time I cough, sneeze or blow my nose I either fart or wet myself. FML

#19243169
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30492) - you deserved it (2839)

On 03/08/2012 at 11:53pm - health - by radiating (woman) -

Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML

#20413058
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33515) - you deserved it (2839)

On 12/22/2012 at 3:06am - work - by Iknoweverything (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, at 3:00 am, I sat with my 3 year-old adopted daughter while she tried to go back to sleep. She had had a nightmare, and I read that "not leaving" was the most important thing a father could do. My wife woke and called me a pervert for sitting there. FML

#3768718
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62088) - you deserved it (2838)

On 07/15/2009 at 4:02am - kids - by me (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. A pretty redhead came on the screen. One of my guy friends leaned over to me and said, "Have you noticed there aren't any pretty redheads in real life?" I guess he forgot what color my hair is. FML

#8516526
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28415) - you deserved it (2838)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:54pm - misc - by Mika_Ookami - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I realized I need a new job when I had to take anti-anxiety medication before meeting with my boss. Last time we met, I had a panic attack. FML

#18570101
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22029) - you deserved it (2838)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:10pm - work - by bosslady12 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me for months. It all started while I was in the hospital, he says, because we were supposed to go out that day, but then I "had to go and get sick". He blames my emergency surgery for his infidelity. FML

#20547926
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38243) - you deserved it (2838)

On 03/17/2013 at 4:12pm - love - by need an appendickectomy (woman) - Finland

Today, I was introduced to my dad's girlfriend of six months. I've already heard them sleeping together several time,s and seen her car pull away early in the morning. After meeting face to face, I also learned that she's only two years older than me. FML

#2709098
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65514) - you deserved it (2837)

On 06/08/2009 at 12:08am - love - by .... (man) - United States (Washington)



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