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Today, I stepped outside the house with my wife. She looked up at the sky and asked me in all seriousness if stars are man-made. FML

#20156290
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19392) - you deserved it (2987)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by baby, baby no (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my mother told her friends that I work as a call girl. I'm a call center agent. FML

#20989169
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38016) - you deserved it (2987)

On 12/11/2013 at 5:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Luxembourg

Today, my father described me as "the sort of sucker women marry then cheat on all the time." My mother agreed with him. FML

#21279077
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33445) - you deserved it (2987)

On 10/16/2014 at 1:07pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was elected to learn how to clean the birthing tub at the hospital I work at. Today, I also discovered that while blood doesn't bother me, floating chunks of afterbirth and god knows what else, will cause me to projectile vomit into said tub. Which I still had to clean afterwards. FML

#21304749
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31087) - you deserved it (2987)

On 11/23/2014 at 8:59pm - work - by StomachofTinfoil (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I still didn't feel quite awake after the first lesson at school, so I went to get a cup of coffee from the vending machine. I had just enough money for it. No cup dropped into the holder, and the whole thing poured straight into the drip tray while I watched. FML

#21310620
84 comments

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

#21333313
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39759) - you deserved it (2987)

On 01/08/2015 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my friends told me they will be unable to attend my birthday party on Friday because they'll be watching the Vampire Diaries finale. FML

#21409757
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26488) - you deserved it (2987)

On 05/13/2015 at 10:55pm - misc - by Muralove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was using my fiancé's phone to look up movie times for us. In the internet browser, I found history of him looking on Craigslist for "discreet intimate relationships with women" in our city. We are expecting our little boy in two months. FML

#8948216
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35007) - you deserved it (2986)

On 03/09/2010 at 4:13pm - love - by Teeny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML

#17362826
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44341) - you deserved it (2986)

On 08/04/2011 at 1:44am - animals - by SydIsPrettyCool - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was renovating the house, and my girlfriend asked, "Do you use electrical tape on electrical stuff?" Not knowing where she was going with this, I just gave her a puzzled look. She continued by saying, "Because it's not like people use duct tape on ducks." FML

#20158312
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22104) - you deserved it (2986)

On 11/11/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Danny - United States (Utah)

Today, I had a 5 hour exam. The exam guard had clearly eaten something funky, because she kept burping loudly. When I thought it couldn't get any worse, she started farting. FML

Today, a girl asked me to check out her left breast, which she said she'd found a strange lump on. I'm an orthodontist. FML

#21379225
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27575) - you deserved it (2987)

On 03/22/2015 at 12:03am - health - by noway - United States (California)

Today, I made a joke about having a wedding to my mom and she told me not to joke about something that will probably never happen. FML

#21465
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32368) - you deserved it (2985)

On 02/10/2009 at 5:30pm - misc - by NoWedding (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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