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Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML

#18497934
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21696) - you deserved it (2687)

On 12/12/2011 at 9:04pm - misc - by unknown - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend had a tantrum because I didn't like Black Sabbath as much as him. Apparently our entire relationship was based on him thinking I did. I've now been labeled "The Queen of Lies." FML

#20108628
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18326) - you deserved it (2687)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:39am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I visited my family. Over the course of 2 hours, my brother punched me, and my mom slapped me across the face after drinking way too much wine. When I started gathering my things to leave, my mom started crying about how I don't visit enough. FML

#20474780
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32528) - you deserved it (2687)

On 01/23/2013 at 12:45pm - misc - by mariama (woman) - United States

Today, I watched from my office window as a couple maneuvered their car to squash a dead pigeon flat on the road. I then watched as they got out of the car, set up tripods and started taking photos of it. FML

Today, I was in a video chat with an old friend who I haven't talked to in years, and my mom walks in. The first thing she says is, "Did you close the toilet after you pooped? Cause today on the news I heard that your poop particles can fly up to 25 feet, landing on your toothbrush." FML

#5593248
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30482) - you deserved it (2686)

On 10/01/2009 at 9:09pm - health - by Poop (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I received a list of employee names who were losing their jobs and I had to remove them from the system as I work for IT. I was on the list. That's right. My last responsibility as an employee was removing myself from the system for security reasons. FML

#1818659
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67341) - you deserved it (2686)

On 05/10/2009 at 4:41pm - work - by IT_4_Hire (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out the real reason why my brother wasn't at his fiancé's Halloween party. He's been in jail for the past 3 months. When was anyone going to tell me? FML

#13800215
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22952) - you deserved it (2686)

On 11/11/2010 at 9:27am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my brother offered my boyfriend $50 to dump me. Guess who's single. FML

#19997949
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26723) - you deserved it (2686)

On 08/02/2012 at 4:11am - love - by Kelly - United States (California)

Today, my mother got incredibly drunk. She told me that only "sluts and whores" shave their pubes. She then told me that she's never once trimmed or shaved her pubes, because she's "moral." Thanks for that mental image, mom. FML

#18641701
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30697) - you deserved it (2686)

On 12/29/2011 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Grossed Out (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to a text from my mother-in-law saying, "Happy birthday! I hope you have great birthday sex!" I'm now afraid to go over there for dinner tonight. FML

#19484491
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24229) - you deserved it (2686)

On 04/17/2012 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got sent to the head teacher's office for doing "stupid hand gestures and disrupting the class". Yesterday my teacher told the class to do the same hand gesture to ask for permission to go to the toilet so it wouldn't interrupt her talking. FML

#21226435
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38661) - you deserved it (2686)

On 08/01/2014 at 1:24am - misc - by Bad Teacher - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my husband decided it was time to tell me he had a 3 year old son. We have been married for 5 years. FML

#5389483
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49530) - you deserved it (2685)

On 09/21/2009 at 5:35am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I finally figured out who has been stalking me for the past 5 months. And we're related. FML

#3945707
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44809) - you deserved it (2685)

On 07/22/2009 at 12:27am - misc - by stalkered (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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