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Today, I made a joke about having a wedding to my mom and she told me not to joke about something that will probably never happen. FML

#21465
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36163) - you deserved it (3366)

On 02/10/2009 at 5:30pm - misc - by NoWedding (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while at a concert, I stepped into a restroom to use my nasal spray since my allergies were acting up. Apparently, someone thought that I had been snorting coke in the stall. I was escorted outside and had to wait for the cops until I could explain everything. I missed the headliner. FML

#20677338
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46757) - you deserved it (3366)

On 05/21/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML

#21482098
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23234) - you deserved it (3366)

On 10/20/2015 at 5:44am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, as always, I tend to smile and giggle when I'm nervous. I couldn't stop it from happening at the funeral of my friend's grandmother. FML

#21509708
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19505) - you deserved it (3366)

On 12/31/2015 at 9:33am - misc - by Smiley (woman) - Aruba

Today, I moved into my aunt's house. She had a little too much fun in the sixties and now tells everyone about her many imagined conquests, including her church minister and several has-been celebrities. As a plus, I discovered she has a habit of wandering around the house in the nude. FML

#8920023
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22910) - you deserved it (3365)

On 03/08/2010 at 2:31pm - misc - by Kristopher (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I celebrated my birthday with a few friends at home. As I bent down over my cake, my friend pushed my face into it. The baker should have told me she put in a stick to support the cake. FML

#15914816
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39793) - you deserved it (3366)

On 04/25/2011 at 1:01am - misc - by Mr. Headshot -

Today, I bought some beef jerky. As I put the first piece in my mouth, I thought to myself, "Wow, this is tough enough to break a tooth." It was. FML

#19816534
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25296) - you deserved it (3365)

On 06/20/2012 at 1:22am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, the boy who loved me and left me literally became the poster boy for my college. His picture is on the home page of the college website and on a banner in the cafeteria where I eat every day. FML

#20893327
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43462) - you deserved it (3365)

On 09/23/2013 at 6:38pm - love - by justonce (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend gave me my first ever orgasm. Then he bitched me out for insulting his intelligence, saying it was "blatantly fake" and that "women don't orgasm like that". FML

#21334061
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38470) - you deserved it (3365)

On 01/09/2015 at 6:09pm - intimacy - by good2know (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend, her grandma, and I were leaving her house to eat lunch. I stubbed my toe on the door while exiting. It hurt, so I stood there shortly in pain. I heard my girlfriend's grandma call me a "pansy". I later saw blood and took off my shoe. My whole toenail had come off of my big toe. FML

#5053287
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48196) - you deserved it (3364)

On 09/05/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by HotCurry (man) - United States

Today, in an attempt to be romantic, my boyfriend threw little stones against my window. Unfortunately, the window wasn't closed, and I was standing in front of it. FML

#19636486
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25609) - you deserved it (3364)

On 05/17/2012 at 11:02am - love - by Vero (woman) - Austria (Oberosterreich)

Today, I found out that my sleep-walking is so bad that I regularly text my friend while I sleep. I have no idea how many times this has happened. FML

#20455938
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27014) - you deserved it (3364)

On 01/12/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by I'm screwed - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I almost got married. After the elaborate and very expensive wedding, my "husband" decided he did not want to sign the marriage license because he wasn't sure if he really wanted to settle down after all. FML

#4775370
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49305) - you deserved it (3363)

On 08/24/2009 at 1:16am - love - by singleagain (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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