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Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML

#20623130
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39970) - you deserved it (2691)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:34pm - misc - by thats what my ipod is for (man) - United States

Today, I am sitting next to a guy who very clearly has lice crawling on his head. It's a six hour flight. FML

#21006067
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43939) - you deserved it (2691)

On 12/26/2013 at 11:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, nothing said Christmas quite like my dad taking 18 shots of vodka, falling on the Christmas tree while holding our 3-year-old cousin and denying it ever happened when he woke up later. FML

#21005822
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36025) - you deserved it (2691)

On 12/26/2013 at 1:48am - misc - by thanks_world - United States (Washington)

Today, my Grandmother gave me rosary beads for my birthday. She told me I better start praying for a husband. FML

#13135872
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24130) - you deserved it (2691)

On 09/20/2010 at 11:02pm - misc - by kdgirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was showing my Mom how to use the Internet on her phone. As there was bad reception, it said "Unexpected Failure." Seeing it, she muttered under her breath, "Just like you, then..." FML

#13937046
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29117) - you deserved it (2690)

On 11/22/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by unexpected_failure (man) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened I slipped and fell in the shower and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered "Well, she is masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!". FML

#6998610
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25726) - you deserved it (2689)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by notexactly (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I went on my first date in months. My mum had invited friends over, and when I told them I was going out on a date, my mum said "No you're not, don't lie. Who would go out with you?" FML

#14380374
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30658) - you deserved it (2689)

On 12/29/2010 at 8:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my friends confronted me and told me that they no longer want to visit my house because my dog smells really disgusting. I didn't have the heart to tell them that the smell is actually my parents, who have been trying to "save water" by only showering once a fortnight. FML

#20525408
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31150) - you deserved it (2689)

On 02/28/2013 at 5:56am - misc - by sickofthesmelltoo (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was checking into a hotel with my boyfriend. A few minutes after we get to our room, the cops show up to our door asking to see some ID from the both of us. The hotel staff had called the cops on us because they thought I was underage and he was going to molest me. I'm 21 and he is 24. FML

#5419115
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37624) - you deserved it (2688)

On 09/22/2009 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after moving house, changing my number, my email, and beginning legal action to get away from a girl who was stalking me, I decided to go to the movies to relax. As soon as I got in my seat, that same girl walked into the nearly empty theatre. She sat next to me. FML

#13723810
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35645) - you deserved it (2688)

On 11/05/2010 at 5:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend had a tantrum because I didn't like Black Sabbath as much as him. Apparently our entire relationship was based on him thinking I did. I've now been labeled "The Queen of Lies." FML

#20108628
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18326) - you deserved it (2688)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:39am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I found out that my controlling, verbally abusive ex-boyfriend from nearly four years ago is still obsessed with me. Apparently, he's told everyone back home that he and I are getting married as soon as I finish college. We haven't spoken in over two years. FML

#20897674
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42602) - you deserved it (2688)

On 09/27/2013 at 2:20am - love - by kitkat3308 - United States

Today, my mom bitched me out for still being single at age 19, and still not having started a family. She considers this "immoral," yet showed nothing but praise for my sister, who's pregnant at 15 and doesn't know which of three guys is the father. FML

#20960837
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57922) - you deserved it (2689)

On 11/17/2013 at 12:46pm - misc - by failed brood mare (woman) - United States (Florida)



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