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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, as a prank, my friends put a big bucket of water on my door so that it would spill on me as I exited my room. It would have been funny if I hadn't been holding my $900 laptop as I was walking out. FML

#2887279
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53496) - you deserved it (2612)

On 06/14/2009 at 3:14pm - work - by Dominic (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML

#6676147
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42357) - you deserved it (2612)

On 12/09/2009 at 2:39am - misc - by PoorGramps - United States (Texas)

Today, my engagement ring was seized by the police, and my fiancé was arrested on larceny charges. Both in the same visit. FML

#18309913
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25163) - you deserved it (2612)

On 11/21/2011 at 6:26pm - love - by madison77 - United States

Today, my parents had a long discussion on whether a cut on my arm looked like a vagina. FML

#18921223
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25027) - you deserved it (2612)

On 01/26/2012 at 11:07pm - misc - by HylianFox (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend of two years logged into my Facebook account and broke up with himself. He is now receiving loads of sympathy, while I'm being accused of lying about it to save my reputation. FML

#19617909
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26829) - you deserved it (2612)

On 05/13/2012 at 5:26pm - love - by soso (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my girlfriend decided to get a new haircut. Now, she hates the haircut and blames me for, in her words, "turning me into something I'm not". FML

#20537852
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29063) - you deserved it (2612)

On 03/10/2013 at 5:09am - love - by Nogood - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend confessed to me that the only reason he's with me is because I'm a good tattoo artist and he's too broke to pay for his own tattoos. We've been together for two years. FML

#8042728
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29887) - you deserved it (2611)

On 02/09/2010 at 3:14am - love - by estephi - Sent from mobile version

Today, my date and I went to the movies. After the date, we were both on an instant chat room at our homes. Her personal message displayed "I think I love my ex again." FML

#12746191
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25488) - you deserved it (2611)

On 08/25/2010 at 10:09pm - love - by bevo - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my teacher, who's Irish, called me insensitive and stupid for imitating her accent. I'm Filipino and my parents immigrated to Ireland where I was born, and then we moved to Canada when I was 14. Her response to my explanation? "Bullshit." FML

#18841081
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35868) - you deserved it (2611)

On 01/18/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by meh - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. After she left, they told me they disapprove of her because of her supposedly lower social class. Now I have to either dump her or lose the money they set aside to pay for my university tuition. FML

#19537516
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31426) - you deserved it (2611)

On 04/27/2012 at 2:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing around my head, and I swatted at it, at the exact moment the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand. FML

#19502060
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20971) - you deserved it (2611)

On 04/20/2012 at 5:48pm - misc - by apparentlyawomanbeater (man) - Switzerland (Ticino)

Today, my 55 year-old mother faked a pregnancy because she was jealous of all the attention I've been getting since I had my twin boys. FML

#20663345
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45519) - you deserved it (2611)

On 05/14/2013 at 5:35pm - misc - by for the love of god (woman) - United States

Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML

#21245163
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33270) - you deserved it (2612)

On 08/25/2014 at 4:14pm - misc - by fanaticalfuckspawn (woman) - United States (California)



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