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Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML

#20972130
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41685) - you deserved it (2663)

On 11/27/2013 at 2:08am - animals - by Seriously_Scaredy_Cat - United States

Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML

#6676147
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43020) - you deserved it (2662)

On 12/09/2009 at 2:39am - misc - by PoorGramps - United States (Texas)

Today, someone left a used condom under the windshield wiper of my car. I didn't notice it until I was driving. And it was raining. It was even tied, so the contents couldn't leak out. I'm not planning artificial insemination anytime soon, but thanks for the thought. Man, I love college. FML

#6034083
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26202) - you deserved it (2662)

On 10/28/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by bubblensuds1 - United States (Indiana)

Today, my mum is convinced I'm a hoarder. While I was out of the house, she went through my room and threw out stuff I "don't need." This included $500 worth of textbooks, a flash drive with crucial work on it, and my phone charger. FML

#14518495
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34814) - you deserved it (2662)

On 01/09/2011 at 6:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I started a sport journalism degree. I was the only female out of 60 students. The lecturer started talking about how we should all aspire to become sports editors of national newspapers. Later, he said women have no chance of ever becoming sports editors. FML

#19894898
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24316) - you deserved it (2662)

On 07/05/2012 at 11:46am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, working in a department store, I spent at least 30 minutes helping a verbally abusive elderly woman in a wheelchair find an appropriate jacket for winter. She finally asked me to retrieve one she wanted in her size. When I returned she was in deep sleep, snoring and all. FML

#20963001
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34865) - you deserved it (2662)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:51am - work - by Not impressed. - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I called my grandmother to wish her a happy Valentines Day. She asked me if I had a date lined up. I didn't, and before I could explain why, she responded with, "Well, maybe all the other gays went on vacation!" Thanks Grandma, I'm not gay. FML

#45880
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39614) - you deserved it (2661)

On 02/15/2009 at 5:12am - misc - by kolgate (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, our AC broke. It's 98 degrees inside the house. My parents will be staying at a 5 star resort until the repairman can come to fix the unit in 6 days. They made me stay home to make sure the plants survive. FML

#17425699
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31608) - you deserved it (2661)

On 08/10/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML

#19291584
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35307) - you deserved it (2661)

On 03/17/2012 at 12:53am - misc - by Taylor Easley - United States (California)

Today, I found out the can of spray paint I got at Walmart yesterday has no spray nozzle, rendering it useless. I'm working on a project that needs to be done by the weekend, so I get to go wait in a huge line and risk being trampled to death tonight just to exchange one damn spray paint can. FML

#20174445
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18913) - you deserved it (2661)

On 11/22/2012 at 9:56pm - misc - by Unfortunate Painter - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML

#20434038
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29030) - you deserved it (2661)

On 12/31/2012 at 1:13pm - misc - by anon - United States (California)

Today, I was working with some shelter puppies transporting them to the vet's. I got all of the puppies in but one, and when I went to pull him out, I realized he had gotten car sick. Before I could stop it happening, he wagged his vomit-covered tail and hit me in the face. FML

#13123963
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21639) - you deserved it (2660)

On 09/20/2010 at 2:13am - work - by sandra - United States

Today, I'm found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I spoke at length about how we were going to handle things, which included him "forbidding" me from having an epidural, because he doesn't want our baby to "come out addicted to drugs." FML

#19613672
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24253) - you deserved it (2660)

On 05/12/2012 at 9:35pm - health - by CalyenaL (woman) - Mexico (Baja California)



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