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Today, I received a phone call at work about an emergency and I had to come home immediately. I arrived to find that no one had been hurt and the house hadn't burned down. The "emergency" was my mom ran out of milk and cigarettes. FML

#16500750
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31752) - you deserved it (2944)

On 06/04/2011 at 3:48pm - misc - by A (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I had a blind date with a really cute guy. Just when I was about to invite him back to my place for a nightcap, he took out a catalog of Russian mail-order brides and asked for my help in picking out the best one. FML

#17892754
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25768) - you deserved it (2944)

On 10/03/2011 at 12:15am - love - by NotRussian (woman) - United States

Today, after having watched a scare story on the news about heart disease, my mom is now insisting that we have daily, hour-long, family yoga sessions together. I have a job, and barely have enough time to do my homework as it is. I'm going to be grounded if I don't take part. FML

#18749747
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26541) - you deserved it (2944)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:59pm - health - by marie519 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, during lunch break at work, the bitter departmental rivalry blew out of control, when one of the glorified thugs from HR started a fistfight with my shift supervisor. I rushed in to break it up, but only succeeded in getting sucker-punched into next week. FML

Today, my parents told me they don't think I'll ever find a boyfriend, and insist on referring to my future cats as their "grandkids". FML

#21289318
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30428) - you deserved it (2944)

On 10/31/2014 at 9:16pm - love - by really - United States

Today, I went to my grandfathers' funeral. As I stood there, bawling my eyes out, my aunt came over and put her arm around me. She leaned her head close to mine. I assumed she was going to say something comforting, instead she asked where I'd bought my shoes from. FML

#4251374
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42826) - you deserved it (2943)

On 08/03/2009 at 8:04am - misc - by whitneyy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my brother admitted that he decides whether he will date a girl or not based on the number of likes she gets on her selfies. We share the same blood. FML

#21332081
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29917) - you deserved it (2943)

On 01/06/2015 at 3:36pm - misc - by Discouraged (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met my recently divorced mother's new boyfriend. He is missing teeth and has long hair and a mangy beard. Horrified, I left the room, only to hear my mother telling my sister, "The sex is phenomenal!" FML

#12550776
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29806) - you deserved it (2942)

On 08/16/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my best guy friend set me up on a blind date. Almost immediately after the guy and I sat down, he excused himself to make a call. A couple of feet away from our table, I heard him say, "Come on, Justin, this is the best you could do??" Over the phone. Justin is the guy who set us up. FML

#3676766
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46646) - you deserved it (2941)

On 07/11/2009 at 9:19pm - love - by blind_loser (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML

#13071256
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29611) - you deserved it (2941)

On 09/16/2010 at 5:04am - misc - by itchybollos - Australia

Today, I had to do something that many young technologically-savvy people fear. I had to get on my dad's Facebook for him to delete a rather scandalous photo of his genitals he accidentally uploaded. FML

#12955617
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36653) - you deserved it (2941)

On 09/07/2010 at 10:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the hairdressers getting a trim. The lady doing my hair commented on how beautiful and luscious my hair was, which made me feel really good. I later overheard her telling her colleague that hair as nice as mine was wasted on someone with a face like mine. FML

#15792200
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37439) - you deserved it (2941)

On 04/15/2011 at 2:43am - misc - by ugly - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to tell my best friend that I couldn't make it to the lake today or tomorrow because I'd been called in to work. She won't believe me and thinks I'm simply avoiding her. I got called in to bathe and clean dogs' anal glands. FML

#16937181
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27022) - you deserved it (2941)

On 07/01/2011 at 3:23pm - misc - by xXx3mi_MuffinxXx (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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