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Today, my future father in law motorboated my breasts as I bent down to give him a hug goodbye. The rest of the family stood there laughing. This is what I'm marrying into? FML

#6665915
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21520) - you deserved it (2756)

On 12/08/2009 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by umm - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a text from a girl that I've had a crush on for a long time, asking me out to dinner. I agreed and went to the restaurant. Not long afterwards, I got text from her saying something had come up, so she couldn't make it. As I was walking back to my car, I saw her walk into the same restaurant with another guy. FML

#14960685
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39627) - you deserved it (2756)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:14pm - love - by Saberwolf (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was robbed while recovering from a robbery. FML

#17639388
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28315) - you deserved it (2756)

On 09/01/2011 at 9:55pm - misc - by Starving Ultimatum (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, working at a daycare centre, when packing up the kids' beds after sleep time, I slipped and landed in a puddle. Of urine. I had no spare pants. I had to wear them for the rest of my shift. FML

#18459141
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22186) - you deserved it (2756)

On 12/08/2011 at 7:40am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I'm found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I spoke at length about how we were going to handle things, which included him "forbidding" me from having an epidural, because he doesn't want our baby to "come out addicted to drugs." FML

#19613672
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25103) - you deserved it (2756)

On 05/12/2012 at 9:35pm - health - by CalyenaL (woman) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, I helped an elderly lady put a bookshelf in her car. She then thanked me by hitting me with her car as she drove out of the parking lot. FML

#20736007
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37677) - you deserved it (2756)

On 06/19/2013 at 9:09pm - work - by anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a customer screamed at me, because her iced coffee tasted exactly like coffee, and she hates coffee. Sadly, this isn't even the most insane person I've had to deal with at this job. FML

#20820474
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46081) - you deserved it (2756)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:09pm - work - by Neanderthals walk among us (woman) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I just got done reading all the healthy benefits that come with sex. One of them is higher self-esteem. Then I remembered that I haven't had sex in 15 months. FML

#1555
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20775) - you deserved it (2755)

On 01/18/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by SSH - United States (Florida)

Today, my grandparents thought it would be acceptable to give me and my wife Christmas presents to take to my ex-wife, along with a card saying how much they missed her and to get in touch with them next time she is in town. FML

#6843918
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24020) - you deserved it (2755)

On 12/20/2009 at 8:40am - misc - by B-Rizzle (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad came home from Vegas. Today, my college savings account is down by $64,000. FML

#6362142
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39638) - you deserved it (2755)

On 11/18/2009 at 10:31pm - misc - by screwed - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking to my fellow coworker about how nervous I was about sleeping with this guy I really liked. She's been constantly giving me advice about him for months, but today she said "Oh don't worry, he isn't that good in bed anyway." FML

#6293770
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19991) - you deserved it (2755)

On 11/13/2009 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by taurus05 (woman) - United States

Today, I was introducing my American cousin to the peaceful English village I live in. Just as I was reassuring her that the people were very friendly and welcoming, a car drove past and pelted us with eggs. FML

#17811386
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23015) - you deserved it (2755)

On 09/23/2011 at 4:31am - misc - by egghead - United Kingdom

Today, at around 2am, I was walking through a parking lot to my car when a man walking behind me told me not to be scared. I turned around to tell him there was no problem. He was naked. FML

#18991669
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31501) - you deserved it (2755) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/04/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by DarkDolly - France



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