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Today, I happily announced that I'm getting married. My dad immediately shot back, "And I'm getting E.D., who gives a damn?" Just when I thought he was joking, he muttered that "the bitch" will take everything in our divorce. Moment ruined. FML

#21235893
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36932) - you deserved it (3169)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML

#21441236
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24226) - you deserved it (3169)

On 07/13/2015 at 9:07pm - work - by Lukey1028 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my parents doing it. Luckily they didn't see me so I slipped out. I looked outside, trying to take my mind of the horrors I had just witnessed, only to realize my dad's car wasn't in the driveway. FML

#5065139
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74826) - you deserved it (3168)

On 09/05/2009 at 6:11pm - kids - by WTF (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my uncle had a flashback to Vietnam. I'm now missing a tooth and have a cracked rib. FML

#14706011
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38156) - you deserved it (3168)

On 01/25/2011 at 2:28am - misc - by Randall (man) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter watched a potty training video on Sesame Street. In the middle of the video, she got up and ran to her potty to practice. She then announced, "All done!", and proudly closed the lid to her potty. She then immediately stood on top of it and peed. FML

#13252455
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23533) - you deserved it (3168)

On 09/29/2010 at 6:47pm - kids - by Mommy (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at the hairdressers getting a trim. The lady doing my hair commented on how beautiful and luscious my hair was, which made me feel really good. I later overheard her telling her colleague that hair as nice as mine was wasted on someone with a face like mine. FML

#15792200
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40239) - you deserved it (3168)

On 04/15/2011 at 2:43am - misc - by ugly - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, and making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML

#18145406
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42910) - you deserved it (3168)

On 11/03/2011 at 5:18am - misc - by Grounded (woman) - United States

Today, I realized my wife often switches the TV channel from the crime dramas we both like, to Hollywood gossip shows that I can't stand, just to get me to leave the room. From the other room, I can see that she switches back once I've left. She's probably been doing this for years. FML

#18592801
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28870) - you deserved it (3168)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:24pm - love - by unwanted (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

#17839732
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38456) - you deserved it (3168)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at our wedding reception my new father-in-law gave his speech, saying his little girl was too good for me. Everyone, including my parents, agreed. FML

#18751726
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30569) - you deserved it (3168)

On 01/08/2012 at 10:43pm - love - by shades (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I walked into my elderly client's home for my first day of work. I was immediately hit in the eye with something small, and had to get medical attention for a scratched cornea. It turns out my client likes to clip his toenails right by his front door. FML

#21088031
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38792) - you deserved it (3168)

On 03/16/2014 at 10:00am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML

#21283288
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43026) - you deserved it (3168)

On 10/22/2014 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by BadLuckLad (man) - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

Today, my Canadian friend is staying a few days at my parents' house. I drove him from the airport, only to find my idiot dad had decked the spare room out with maple syrup bottles. He keeps saying "eh" all the time and asked "What's he so upset aboot?" when my friend was offended. FML

#21316775
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32578) - you deserved it (3168)

On 12/13/2014 at 1:36pm - misc - by ehxtraordinarily pissed (man) - United States (Oklahoma)



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