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Today, my son thought it would be a great idea to spray a whole can of spray tan all over my freshly-painted white bathroom walls as an "experiment". He's 18. FML

#20010519
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20992) - you deserved it (2996)

On 08/08/2012 at 11:29pm - kids - by bellabreeze - United States (Maine)

Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML

#20129779
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19066) - you deserved it (2996)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:26pm - animals - by buccaneer - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was shouting out for help when a voice came screaming, "This is the fire department." I was relieved until he said, "Just kidding." FML

#20681121
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46188) - you deserved it (2996)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by Mylifesucks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

#20860284
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46030) - you deserved it (2997)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my visiting cousin was driving me to pick-up and pay for my wedding cake at the bakery. The cops pulled him over for speeding and as it turns out his license was expired. I ended up having to use my wedding cake money to bail him out of jail. FML

#3657185
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37573) - you deserved it (2995)

On 07/11/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by mellbelle32 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my (now former) best friend kicked me out of the band I started because I wasn't 'dedicated enough' after a 3 day 'holiday' to visit my dying uncle. He also during this 3 day 'holiday' convinced my girl friend to leave me and date him. FML

#5287985
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53607) - you deserved it (2995)

On 09/16/2009 at 4:25am - misc - by dj163 (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out my grandpa died. As I rushed home crying to comfort my parents, I got pulled over for speeding. The officer told me to cut out the "fake" tears". When I told him my grandpa just died he tacked on another $100 for lying to an officer. Worst. Christmas. Ever. FML

#6926998
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43341) - you deserved it (2995)

On 12/24/2009 at 7:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

#14398309
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24868) - you deserved it (2995)

On 12/30/2010 at 5:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I found out that my husband's secretary named her new baby boy after my husband. Everyone at the office thinks it's funny. My husband says it's a coincidence. FML

#14092737
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31097) - you deserved it (2995)

On 12/05/2010 at 4:30am - misc - by momoffour (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, someone came over and told my mother, "I'm your son's friend Morris, I need to get something out of his car", so she gave him the keys. I have no friend called Morris, and now I don't have a sound system either. FML

#17266001
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36974) - you deserved it (2995)

On 07/26/2011 at 9:35am - misc - by ceetee - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after being admitted to the emergency room for severe abdominal pain, my boyfriend shouted out in front of my parents, "At least she isn't pregnant!" FML

#17959837
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25071) - you deserved it (2995)

On 10/11/2011 at 1:43pm - health - by letmedienow - United States

Today, I found out that of the three medications I am taking for depression, one causes weight gain, one causes severe weight gain, and one "might cause weight gain." FML

#19545026
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27652) - you deserved it (2995)

On 04/28/2012 at 11:00pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, at college, I finally talked myself into confessing my feelings to a girl I really like. Her response was to threaten to sue me. For what, exactly? I have no goddamned idea. I just don't understand people anymore. FML

#20545151
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33627) - you deserved it (2995)

On 03/15/2013 at 6:43pm - love - by forever single, I guess (man) - United States



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