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Today, my mom called me an asshole. She was embarrassed when she saw that a visiting family member had overheard, and tried to cover it up with, "Honey, you are a casserole! You are just delicious, any guy is gonna want you sweetie!" She honestly thought this would work. FML

#20133203
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26086) - you deserved it (2091)

On 10/25/2012 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Agirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a movie with this guy. He was late so the only seats available were the ones in the very front which he refused to sit in. As we were looking for two seats, he spotted one near the back and sat down, leaving me to sit by myself in the front. FML

#19943631
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27153) - you deserved it (2091)

On 07/16/2012 at 12:21am - love - by BC94 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my roommate pressed "snooze" on his alarm 14 times. I counted. FML

#20200321
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19942) - you deserved it (2091)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by roommateprobssss:( - United States

Today, I woke up to find my parents singing happy birthday with lots of hugs and kisses. My birthday is next week. FML

#6733111
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24277) - you deserved it (2090)

On 12/13/2009 at 1:46am - misc - by Thomas (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home to my family remodeling our (extremely) out of date bathroom. I was SUPER excited to help them get it done. I walked down the hallway and opened my bedroom door to find a huge, gaping hole in my wall and my room covered in dust. I had to sweep every surface in my room. FML

#13831440
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15133) - you deserved it (2091)

On 11/13/2010 at 8:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got called an "evil Nazi bitch" because I let a customer know that this is the last day our store will have free plastic bags. FML

#20581805
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28391) - you deserved it (2090)

On 04/09/2013 at 4:18am - work - by steppppphhhhhh - United States (California)

Today, I was walking by a bunch of pretty girls. I'm not the most attractive boy, so I walked by nervously. I heard one yell "Hey cutie!" I turned to look, and they started laughing. She said "Oh my god, sorry! I assumed you were cute from your butt!" Apparently, my ass is nicer than my face. FML

#2894787
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51631) - you deserved it (2089)

On 06/14/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by bitches. (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on Facebook. She's in the forces, and it was her birthday. I asked her if she liked the flowers I sent her. She thanked me, then asked if she could remove our relationship status. When I asked why, she said, "It's not like we're really going out anymore." FML

#6677615
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29998) - you deserved it (2089)

On 12/09/2009 at 7:31am - love - by im_not_me (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, when walking to my car I was mugged. Not only did they take my phone, wallet and watch, the extra few minutes taken in my journey meant that when I got to my car, I was given a parking ticket. FML

#4498391
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43122) - you deserved it (2089)

On 08/13/2009 at 10:00am - money - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I found out that even though my parents have been married for 21 years, our "family friend," who routinely accompanies us on family vacations, completes their threesome. Everyone in town has know for years, except for me and my older brother. FML

#3891505
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44861) - you deserved it (2089)

On 07/19/2009 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by whitechocolate (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was in the theatre watching a movie. I leaned my head back to relax. Suddenly, I hear this sneeze behind me and then I feel "rain" pouring down on my face. FML

#8350664
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21667) - you deserved it (2089)

On 02/16/2010 at 8:30pm - misc - by misspriss (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I figured out why my name is Ashley. In order to tell my older sister about getting a new little sister, my parents thought it would be a good idea to make her imaginary friend "Ashley" real. FML

#14244337
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22054) - you deserved it (2089)

On 12/18/2010 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend was complaining about how we never see the movies he wants to see. So I took him to the movies, and he picked which one. Then he fell asleep. FML

#19433649
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17739) - you deserved it (2089)

On 04/08/2012 at 11:29pm - love - by Stinky. - United States (Illinois)



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