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Today, I discovered that I sometimes talk in my sleep. After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, I woke up to him telling me to leave. I have no idea what I could have said. He still won't talk to me. FML

#20007517
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25050) - you deserved it (2550)

On 08/07/2012 at 10:49am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up with a black eye. Why? My husband was having a dream where he was fighting somebody and wound up punching me in the face in his sleep. I had a very important job interview this morning. FML

#4337327
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42642) - you deserved it (2549)

On 08/06/2009 at 3:22pm - love - by DravensMommy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was eating lunch out side with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

#6795519
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30551) - you deserved it (2549)

On 12/17/2009 at 4:43pm - animals - by ollierocks96 - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend decided to give me my Christmas present early because he's going to his grandparents' house for Christmas and won't see me. I was excited, until I unwrapped a sweater that I left there a month ago. FML

#6865867
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24662) - you deserved it (2549)

On 12/21/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, I saw my boyfriend of two years had joined a group on facebook called 'Guys who are proud of their girlfriends'. I smiled and was about to like it when I noticed a comment below from a girl saying "Awww thanks babe :) xxxx". FML

#8713394
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36124) - you deserved it (2549)

On 02/28/2010 at 8:10am - love - by FBfail (woman) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I was sitting on the toilet, pregnant as ever and really sick. I asked my fiancé to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so and brought me some lacy underwear. They weren't mine. FML

#19568325
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40965) - you deserved it (2549)

On 05/03/2012 at 1:00pm - love - by Turnipseed3 - United States

Today, I discovered that I have been falsely accusing my sister of stealing my makeup. How do I know this? Because I found said makeup in the trunk of my boyfriend's car, next to a bag that had fishnet tights and red stilettos in it. Oh, and the stilettos are his size, in case you were wondering. FML

#19999762
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29067) - you deserved it (2549)

On 08/03/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by SingleAgain (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, whilst on a phone interview with a college I really want to go to, my mother picks up the other line and shouts into the phone "She's not going to college, she's lazy and she'll only disappoint you." The interviewer hung up before I could say anything. FML

#20508072
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38358) - you deserved it (2549)

On 02/15/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by parentalissues (woman) - United States

Today, my house was broken into. The burglar didn't steal my brand new laptop, iPad or TV. They instead made off with every single item of clothing I own. When I went to turn on my TV to try and distract myself from this, I found all of the cables in back missing. The police don't believe me. FML

#20753916
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47557) - you deserved it (2549)

On 06/29/2013 at 5:55am - misc - by Angry and Confused - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to the school I work at, to set up my new classroom. I'm 5'1" and I was carrying a backpack full of fun educational posters. I also have a new boss. When we met for the first time he was yelling at me because "there were no students allowed in here yet." FML

#4511131
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43829) - you deserved it (2548)

On 08/13/2009 at 9:36pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I changed my phone number because my old one belonged to a prostitute. My new one belongs to a debtor. FML

#13835312
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24635) - you deserved it (2548)

On 11/14/2010 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML

#18614231
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27426) - you deserved it (2548)

On 12/26/2011 at 4:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was on a flight coming back home. On my right was a fat monk who was snoring very loudly, and on my left there were two old women who were talking about their teenage love lives in detail. The flight was 17 hours long. FML

#4707579
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32128) - you deserved it (2547)

On 08/21/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by ihatelongflights (man) - United States (New York)



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