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Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML

#15048725
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26649) - you deserved it (2696)

On 02/20/2011 at 3:35am - misc - by Katie - Reserved

Today, I was sitting on the toilet with a really bad and noisy stomach upset. Then I hear a knock on the bathroom door. My boyfriend had decided to make a surprise visit. FML

#14821107
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26331) - you deserved it (2696)

On 02/03/2011 at 12:33am - health - by Kay -

Today, I had to address a flatulence issue with an employee. Other employees are complaining about the smell. I have to continue addressing the issue until it stops. So far, I've talked to her about it 4 times. No end in sight. FML

#16812310
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25452) - you deserved it (2696)

On 06/23/2011 at 4:17am - work - by luroluro - United States

Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML

#17906392
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28880) - you deserved it (2696)

On 10/04/2011 at 8:14pm - love - by Nickolas Neffster - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was having dinner with my college friends to celebrate the end of our first year. I said really great things about them as individuals. The only thing they had to say to me was, "Thanks for being the token black friend." FML

#19624704
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22658) - you deserved it (2696)

On 05/14/2012 at 10:23pm - misc - by foreverbrown (man) - United States

Today, my grandson visited me, and asked if I had any pictures of myself from when I was a little girl. I happily looked for a few photos to give him, asking what had piqued his curiosity. He replied that he wanted some for a presentation he's doing on the Middle Ages. FML

#20555821
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32229) - you deserved it (2696) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/22/2013 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Lorraine)

Today, it was my 17th birthday. My mom forgot and my best friend is out of town. The highlight of my day? The guy at McDonalds slipped an extra apple pie in my bag. FML

#4719032
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35655) - you deserved it (2695)

On 08/21/2009 at 9:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend called me over for dinner. When I walked in the door, he asked why I was here; apparently he dialed the wrong girlfriend. FML

#13287186
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35667) - you deserved it (2695)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I came in to work looking very tan. I took Friday off to go to a friend's funeral, which was outdoors, and I tan very easily. Now my boss and everyone else thinks I lied about my friend's death to get off work on a Friday. FML

#17549181
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30430) - you deserved it (2695)

On 08/22/2011 at 4:34pm - work - by waytootan (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was sitting under a rather large house plant in my dining room, minding my own business when a spider lowered itself right in front of my face. It startled me, causing me to gasp, which resulted in me inhaling the spider. I then spent 3 minutes choking on it. FML

#19998761
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25049) - you deserved it (2695)

On 08/02/2012 at 5:08pm - misc - by danonno (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at a family meeting about opening up a business. During it, I had an allergic reaction and my throat began to close. Nobody tried to help. In fact, pictures were taken. FML

Today, my boyfriend of a year decided to confess to me that almost everything he has told me in our relationship has been a lie. This includes telling me that he was single when we first met, telling me that he loved me, and telling me that I was beautiful. FML

#8862978
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32589) - you deserved it (2694)

On 03/06/2010 at 3:32am - love - by ART - United States (California)

Today, my boss quit his job and stopped coming in without warning. Guess who just inherited his tasks and responsibilities without the training or pay associated with his manager role. I was hired last year as a junior system admin. FML

#14267236
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22557) - you deserved it (2694)

On 12/20/2010 at 12:29am - work - by promoted (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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