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Today, it hit me that my dad didn't cry when I moved out, he did so only when I came back later to pick up my cat. FML

#6761317
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19580) - you deserved it (2105)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:50am - animals - by number2 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML

#5876001
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12764) - you deserved it (2105)

On 10/18/2009 at 7:29am - intimacy - by Ignitingmylightsaber (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my apartment got robbed. My 'book-in-progress' should keep them company. FML

#14703374
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18470) - you deserved it (2105)

On 01/24/2011 at 10:18pm - misc - by brokenhome - United States (Texas)

Today, I drove 45 min from my college to surprise my girlfriend with roses after she got off work. She responded by taking the roses, dumping them in her back seat, and speeding off because she couldn't miss Survivor. FML

#18550642
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22778) - you deserved it (2105)

On 12/19/2011 at 1:44am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my car broke down on the highway, and I had to call for a tow truck. It finally showed up, only to break down too less than a mile later. Cue nearly freezing to death while we waited for help to arrive for the both of us. FML

#21006306
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31701) - you deserved it (2105)

On 12/26/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by MERRY FUCKMYARSEMASS (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was yelled at and humiliated by my otherwise awesome brother-in-law for my supposed lack of effort in the planning of a baby shower for my very pregnant sister. The kicker? Her huge, break-my-bank semi-surprise baby shower has been in the works for a month and is happening this weekend. FML

#5825370
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21331) - you deserved it (2104)

On 10/14/2009 at 4:09am - misc - by goodsister (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after weeks of allowing my parents to borrow money, I got a check for $2000. I took it to the bank only to find out it was fake. FML

#13094289
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21326) - you deserved it (2104)

On 09/18/2010 at 1:39am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my roommate confronted me about my eating disorder. She described in length how emaciated-looking my chest has become and how she only wants to help. Except that I don't have an eating disorder. My sternum is deformed and I have only recently become confident enough to wear low-cut tops. FML

#8940307
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32199) - you deserved it (2104)

On 03/09/2010 at 3:57am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML

#18692571
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31001) - you deserved it (2104)

On 01/03/2012 at 12:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I applied for a job as a dishwasher. I was denied because I don't have enough experience. FML

#17903490
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23741) - you deserved it (2104)

On 10/04/2011 at 12:18pm - work - by SimpleSwimmer - United States (California)

Today, while very sick, throwing up in a bucket beside my bed, my dad came in pushed my face into the bucket. For a laugh apparently. FML

#18770339
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27972) - you deserved it (2104)

On 01/10/2012 at 9:52pm - health - by barface - United States (Texas)

Today, my step-mom stole over $100 in cash from me, dumped dirty cat litter all over my clean bed sheets, and called me a whore for having a polite conversation with my boyfriend. I confronted my father about it. He told me to forgive her, because she's "on her period." FML

#20533543
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35499) - you deserved it (2104)

On 03/06/2013 at 2:11pm - misc - by disgruntled stepdaughter - United States (Ohio)

Today, and for the fifth week in a row, my dad has been moping around and acting pissy about everything because his psycho girlfriend won't talk to him. He now claims his life is over. I'm being raised by a teenage girl. FML



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