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Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to pick up her things. I decided to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML

#20170390
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22027) - you deserved it (2915)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:03am - love - by Chris (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I accidentally bumped into another car on the road. The worst of the damage was a slight chip to the other driver's paint, but she played it up so much that she ended up being taken away in an ambulance. I'm now terrified that the crazy bitch is going to sue me. FML

#20158993
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25684) - you deserved it (2915)

On 11/11/2012 at 2:11pm - money - by youfuckingslut (man) - United States

Today, I got an e-mail regarding an IT support job I applied to. The e-mail had numerous formatting errors due to bad code, and typos all over the place. It said I wasn't qualified for the job. FML

#21011264
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37207) - you deserved it (2915)

On 12/31/2013 at 3:08am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while showering I slipped and fell, taking down the shower curtain and smashing my head against the floor, resulting in a concussion. My family came running because of the noise and I lay naked, bleeding and concussed for few minutes before they could stop laughing enough to get me help. FML

#4548386
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44083) - you deserved it (2915)

On 08/15/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by iltdtsm - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I realized why my bathroom has been smelling so bad. My 10-year-old son has been peeing on the radiator, thinking it's fun to watch it steam and sizzle. FML

#7257345
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32887) - you deserved it (2914)

On 01/10/2010 at 12:17pm - kids - by Amber (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pounds father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML

#17602503
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29603) - you deserved it (2914)

On 08/28/2011 at 4:27am - misc - by CooBerry3851 - United States (Washington)

Today, I brought my girlfriend over to her first dinner with my family. My gramps spent the entire dinner telling my girlfriend how the Illuminati are plotting to take over the world and use microchips to control everyone. So much for being taken seriously now. FML

#18284255
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23240) - you deserved it (2914)

On 11/18/2011 at 8:58pm - love - by Trey - United States (Texas)

Today, I announced my first pregnancy to my family. Not to be outdone, my sister immediately announced that she "might" be getting pregnant soon. My family ended up congratulating her instead, and asked me if I would plan the baby shower. FML

#20793609
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55656) - you deserved it (2914)

On 07/20/2013 at 2:31am - kids - by Happyunlucky (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to a first aid training course. I had to lie on the floor and pretend I was unconscious. We were supposed to be doing the recovery position, but the guy I was working with decided to perform CPR instead and grope my boobs in the process. FML

#21287010
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31955) - you deserved it (2914)

On 10/28/2014 at 2:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I found a pair of glasses in my car. I don't wear glasses, and nobody besides myself has been in my car lately. It appears that someone has been sleeping in my car and forgot their glasses. FML

#6836153
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23459) - you deserved it (2913)

On 12/19/2009 at 9:40pm - misc - by chrono64 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that the $200 a week I was paying my dad for my car insurance and payment, wasn't actually paying my insurance and car payment. How did I find out he wasn't paying? Repo man took my car. FML

#13252849
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27153) - you deserved it (2913)

On 09/29/2010 at 7:04pm - money - by thankspops - United States (New York)

Today, my boss fired me for dating a co-worker. There's no policy forbidding it; he just thought it was unfair that I could get with the "hottest girl who works here" but he can't. I live in an at-will employment state. FML

#16960895
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29126) - you deserved it (2913)

On 07/03/2011 at 12:21pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML

#20731460
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48012) - you deserved it (2913)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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