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Today, I got an email from a Scholarship Program reminding me that they had rejected me 3 months ago. Thanks for reminding me I might not make it to college. FML

#3772317
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44724) - you deserved it (3088)

On 07/15/2009 at 12:02pm - money - by nsJ (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty side-effect. It appears that it can cause a massive rock-hard piece of dung the size of a bus to form in your intestines. I went to the doctor, he handed me a glove and some laxatives and said "Have fun!" FML

#5846674
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27098) - you deserved it (3088)

On 10/15/2009 at 9:59pm - health - by Rob - Sent from mobile version

Today, I slipped on my icy front porch, fell back and hit my head on the step. I tried to get up, but lost my balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see my very hot, British, Ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML

#7757731
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25300) - you deserved it (3090)

On 01/31/2010 at 9:12pm - misc - by youlyingjerk (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend of two years told his friend that he decided a long time ago that he would never be faithful to a woman. I was sitting next to him. FML

#13496771
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29655) - you deserved it (3088)

On 10/18/2010 at 8:23am - love - by sugar - United States (Texas)

Today, I started lessons on snowboarding. As soon as I got to the top of the hill, my instructor pushed me saying, "Just believe, it'll come to you!" He said this just before I hit a tree, breaking my nose. FML

#15133250
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29759) - you deserved it (3089)

On 02/27/2011 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my wife announced that she wanted a divorce. She'd actually started dating another man a few months ago, but she wanted to drag our marriage out as long as possible just in case her new relationship fell through. FML

#16515847
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42950) - you deserved it (3088)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:20pm - love - by mj - United States

Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML

#17063070
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60021) - you deserved it (3088)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my parents had a fight as to which one of them is the most cultured. As a result, they've begun writing my chore lists in a variety of languages. If I don't do them, I'm grounded. I only speak English. FML

#18025150
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27006) - you deserved it (3088)

On 10/19/2011 at 6:29pm - misc - by Missy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband to let him know I was in the hospital. His response? "I'm at Taco Bell." FML

#18515573
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29568) - you deserved it (3088)

On 12/14/2011 at 10:34pm - misc - by Mariah Heimann - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dentist dropped dead of a heart attack. This depressing event was made worse by the fact that he collapsed while his hands were in my mouth. FML

Today, my girlfriend informed me that our relationship is an open one. This was only after I was told that when she was "stuck in traffic" two days ago, she was actually playing the triple-X version of Twister in my "best friend's" bed. FML

#21008373
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41188) - you deserved it (3088)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:07pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I found out my fiancée's been cheating on me. Her excuse? Her ADHD made her do it. FML

#21257049
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39679) - you deserved it (3088)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year old son. He wriggled away and said: "If you need a teddy bear, go buy one! Or find another Simon!" FML

#697
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27072) - you deserved it (3087)

On 01/03/2009 at 10:55pm - kids - by sly - Sent from mobile version



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