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Today, I was showering at hockey practice. It would have been business as usual, if not for one of my teammates playing with his junk and not-so-subtly asked me to connect. There are 5 more months of hockey. FML

#13615368
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23668) - you deserved it (2627)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by thjeltz - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up to NYPD detectives banging on my door with flashlights, looking for some criminal who used to live in my house. Apparently, when they showed the man's mugshot to my neighbors upstairs, for some reason they identified the man as my husband. FML

#16708517
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31130) - you deserved it (2627)

On 06/17/2011 at 7:06am - love - by ari - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML

#18497934
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21129) - you deserved it (2627)

On 12/12/2011 at 9:04pm - misc - by unknown - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going through some troubles in our relationship, and she said to me, "No offense, but I really hope no other relationship I have in the future will be like this one." Some offense taken. FML

#20141147
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21316) - you deserved it (2627)

On 10/31/2012 at 12:22am - love - by anon (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went out to eat with my aunt and uncle, I barely looked at the male waiter because I'm a shy person. Then my uncle says: "YOU SHOULD TAKE OUT MY NIECE! She's never dated in her life." I'm 19 and my match maker is my uncle. FML

#3846
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25290) - you deserved it (2626)

On 01/30/2009 at 5:08pm - love - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I finally got over the knee injury that has been holding back my military application for 6 months. They sent me to the optometrist, who said my eyes were too bad for service. FML

#17503246
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27100) - you deserved it (2626)

On 08/17/2011 at 8:23pm - health - by sadface (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while in the break room at work, I laughed at a co-worker's joke and started choking on my drink. My boss exclaimed in front of everyone, "We need to teach this girl how to swallow!" to everyone's childish amusement. Now they won't stop calling me Spit. FML

#19608060
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19530) - you deserved it (2626)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:23pm - work - by mel (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

Today, it's my birthday, and the only person that called me was my boss. He wants me to cover his shift tonight. FML

#13448275
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30947) - you deserved it (2625)

On 10/14/2010 at 6:10pm - work - by unloved - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was presented with a bill for $27,601 by my single, alcoholic, deadbeat father. Why? "For having to raise your goddamn lazy ass." FML

#17350517
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33608) - you deserved it (2625)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:45am - money - by bigbill - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I mentioned to my wife that we should try marriage counseling. She responded by denying it while throwing a carton of milk at me. FML

#17954087
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22788) - you deserved it (2625)

On 10/10/2011 at 7:11pm - love - by crapedup - United States (Alabama)

Today, I called my dad, because I haven't spoken to him in a while, and I wanted to invite him to my graduation in May. When he picked up, I said, "Hey, how have you been, dad?" He scoffed, "Wrong number" and hung up the phone. FML

#20197219
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25372) - you deserved it (2625)

On 12/09/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML

#20529036
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27186) - you deserved it (2625)

On 03/03/2013 at 3:27am - misc - by addie (woman) - United States

Today, the highlight of my day was when I found that there was finally toilet paper in the cubicle at work. FML

#20563464
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25793) - you deserved it (2625)

On 03/28/2013 at 5:57am - work - by Paperboy (man) - Bosnia and Herzegovina (Federation of Bosnia and Herzego)



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