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Today, the stalker flatmate who has been obsessed with me since I first moved into the flat two years ago, graduated. Apparently he told everyone we are an item, because his parents and relatives were smiling and taking pictures of me from their seats two rows ahead of mine at the ceremony. FML

Today, my allergies flared up and I started sneezing. I guess my girlfriend was having a bad day, because she lost her shit and started telling me how annoying I am and how I can never do anything right. I'm not sure if we're still a couple, because she stormed out and won't answer my calls. FML

#21270617
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35016) - you deserved it (2714)

On 10/04/2014 at 11:17am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark

Today, my sister got married. For the second time. She's 30. Two men have loved her enough to cry over their vows to her. Every single person there asked me why I wasn't married yet. FML

#5998946
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28813) - you deserved it (2713)

On 10/25/2009 at 10:27pm - love - by joyful-not (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came downstairs disappointed thinking that my parents had forgotten my birthday. Turns out they didn't forget, they just couldn't be bothered to do anything for it. FML

#14928648
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27737) - you deserved it (2713)

On 02/10/2011 at 10:24pm - misc - by Shivvy (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my wife heard that wifi could be harmful for our newborn baby's undeveloped brain box. Her solution was to switch the wifi off on our laptops. She won't listen to the flaw in her plan. FML

#17411928
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24831) - you deserved it (2713)

On 08/08/2011 at 10:01pm - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, was the fifth night I've dreamed of brushing my teeth. I wake up about three times a night because as I spit in my dream, I actually spit on my face as I'm sleeping. FML

#18995010
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23104) - you deserved it (2713)

On 02/04/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by wetdreams - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I spoke to my ex again for the first time after our breakup. The first words out of his mouth were, "I love you, so I'm going to have to confess some things in the hopes that my honesty will help us get back together." It didn't, but it does mean I have to get tested now. FML

#19546039
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28139) - you deserved it (2713)

On 04/29/2012 at 2:41am - health - by Anne - United States

Today, I got a letter from my college saying that if my tuition was not paid in the next 24 hours, I will be terminated from classes. Turns out account services has been depositing my tuition money in another student’s account whose social security number was one digit different from mine. FML

#229421
44 comments

Today, I had to decline the sale of alcohol to a man who reeked of booze and was practically falling asleep at my till. He tried to convince me that he wasn't drunk, he was just blind. Still refusing to sell him the beer, he started yelling at me, accusing me of "being racist against the 'blinds'". FML

#21256123
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36136) - you deserved it (2712)

On 09/11/2014 at 2:49am - work - by PerfectVision (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at a baseball game. I was eating my nachos when all of the sudden I woke up in the hospital, with my dad sitting next to the bed. Apparently, I was hit with a foul ball. He kept the ball for himself. FML

#5492768
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33135) - you deserved it (2711)

On 09/26/2009 at 8:40pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend and I asked her to give me her phone to make a call since mine was dead. A text came in from someone and the name sounded familiar. My bestfriend has been dating my girlfriend longer than I have, and she gave him head. I kissed her earlier that day. FML

#7350997
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22058) - you deserved it (2711)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:02am - intimacy - by vadoodoo22 - Sent from mobile version

Today, at work, a little boy shyly told his mom he thought I was cute. I smiled at him as she looked me up and down and said to him, "Eww, honey. No, you do not!" FML

#13853853
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32202) - you deserved it (2711)

On 11/15/2010 at 3:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, as part of my job as a performer, I had to show off my skills with a switchblade in front of an audience. A kid shot a rubber band at me. I then needed stitches. FML

#18501912
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27136) - you deserved it (2711)

On 12/13/2011 at 9:00am - work - by Anonymous - Malaysia



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Friday 17 October 2014

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