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Today, the hillbillies who inhabit the apartment above mine got karaoke machine. It's 1 am and they're singing Achy Breaky Heart. FML

#17715363
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30934) - you deserved it (2940)

On 09/10/2011 at 11:18pm - misc - by 5.9Cummins (woman) - Canada

Today, my roommate unexpectedly came home with a new puppy. I'm severely allergic to dogs. When I reminded her of this, she explained that the puppy was her family now and if I didn't like it I should move out because blood is thicker than water. My roommate is my sister. FML

#20875920
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46421) - you deserved it (2940)

On 09/10/2013 at 5:02pm - animals - by RoommateWanted (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I went to my grandfathers' funeral. As I stood there, bawling my eyes out, my aunt came over and put her arm around me. She leaned her head close to mine. I assumed she was going to say something comforting, instead she asked where I'd bought my shoes from. FML

#4251374
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42810) - you deserved it (2939)

On 08/03/2009 at 8:04am - misc - by whitneyy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it was my first day back to work since having my first baby. To show I had caught up on everything, I had to give a presentation at the end of the day to the heads of my department. It went really well until the end, when one of them pointed out that breast-milk had been leaking through my clothes the entire time. FML

#13874494
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34115) - you deserved it (2939)

On 11/17/2010 at 7:09am - work - by mommy (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I met my recently divorced mother's new boyfriend. He is missing teeth and has long hair and a mangy beard. Horrified, I left the room, only to hear my mother telling my sister, "The sex is phenomenal!" FML

#12550776
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29783) - you deserved it (2939)

On 08/16/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at the hairdressers getting a trim. The lady doing my hair commented on how beautiful and luscious my hair was, which made me feel really good. I later overheard her telling her colleague that hair as nice as mine was wasted on someone with a face like mine. FML

#15792200
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37452) - you deserved it (2939)

On 04/15/2011 at 2:43am - misc - by ugly - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to tell my best friend that I couldn't make it to the lake today or tomorrow because I'd been called in to work. She won't believe me and thinks I'm simply avoiding her. I got called in to bathe and clean dogs' anal glands. FML

#16937181
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27002) - you deserved it (2939)

On 07/01/2011 at 3:23pm - misc - by xXx3mi_MuffinxXx (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML

#19806951
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20839) - you deserved it (2939)

On 06/18/2012 at 12:05pm - misc - by Myriam (woman) - Maldives (Maale)

Today, I was walking by a bunch of pretty girls. I'm not the most attractive boy, so I walked by nervously. I heard one yell "Hey cutie!" I turned to look, and they started laughing. She said "Oh my god, sorry! I assumed you were cute from your butt!" Apparently, my ass is nicer than my face. FML

#2894787
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58818) - you deserved it (2938)

On 06/14/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by bitches. (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was going out to my car with my sister's birthday present. I slipped on some ice and the present fell to the ground. I spent an hour wrapping it. I could hear the present break. I had gotten her $200 wine glasses. I then had to run to the nearest store and get her a CD instead. FML

Today, I had to do something that many young technologically-savvy people fear. I had to get on my dad's Facebook for him to delete a rather scandalous photo of his genitals he accidentally uploaded. FML

#12955617
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36636) - you deserved it (2938)

On 09/07/2010 at 10:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and told me that if I wanted to join the Lingerie Football League, I would have his approval. His drunken friends nodded in agreement. FML

#17588509
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32206) - you deserved it (2938)

On 08/26/2011 at 7:32pm - misc - by Alexis - United States (Virginia)

Today, while entering the building I live in, I walked into my neighbor who winked at me and said last night must have been great. After I asked why, he said he could hear my girlfriend moaning and screaming, and that I must be pretty good at it. I was just coming back from a week overseas. FML

#4394245
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65873) - you deserved it (2937)

On 08/08/2009 at 9:56pm - intimacy - by ouch (man) - Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)



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