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Today, I went to go see my boyfriend of over two years in a play. I knew that he'd be kissing his female opposite at the end of the show and I was okay with that. I snuck into his dressing room at intermission to find him "rehearsing" with her half naked. FML

#6309781
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34939) - you deserved it (2137)

On 11/15/2009 at 2:51am - love - by irishbitch (woman) -

Today, my wife changed her name back to her maiden name. Why? So people would stop asking questions about us. We have been married for 15 years. FML

#7411056
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24906) - you deserved it (2137)

On 01/18/2010 at 12:06am - love - by unloved (man) - United Kingdom (Southend-on-Sea)

Today, I went to take my driver's test, and I did almost everything perfectly. The last thing was to back into a driveway. As I went to put my hand on the passenger seat to look over my shoulder, I got so nervous that I hit my instructor in the face. FML

#19782263
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19502) - you deserved it (2137)

On 06/13/2012 at 2:13pm - misc - by sopissed - United States (Maryland)

Today, a woman strapped her 8-year-old son into the seat next to me on a transatlantic flight. Thinking they'd been unable to book seats together, I offered to swap seats with her. She said she'd booked it this way intentionally, because he's a "fucking brat" on flights. She was right. FML

#20513411
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41249) - you deserved it (2137)

On 02/19/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by Sigh (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I went to the water park, and got in a line on a staircase to get on a waterslide. A couple minutes in, I feel a large amount of warm liquid drip on my head. Seconds later, a crying girl was being lead down the stairs being told that 'everyone wets themselves sometimes'. FML

#3681487
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49444) - you deserved it (2136)

On 07/12/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I wanted to do something special for my upcoming second anniversary with my girlfriend, so I decided to make a short animation of our lives together since we were preschoolers. In the middle of working on the storyboard, she called and broke up with me. FML

#14649899
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26457) - you deserved it (2136)

On 01/20/2011 at 12:18pm - love - by Anonymous - Philippines (Pampanga)

Today, I'm apparently so desperate for companionship that my body has subconsciously synced my period with the girl who works in the cubicle adjacent to mine. FML

#20044589
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14199) - you deserved it (2136)

On 08/27/2012 at 2:20pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came home from work to find my kids playing Frisbee with my collection of rare, valuable vinyl records. The term "smash hit record" took on a whole new meaning. FML

#19488464
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21023) - you deserved it (2135)

On 04/18/2012 at 2:57am - kids - by ChampionshipVinyl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was yelled at by a customer because I wouldn't give her a new iPhone 5 for free to replace her broken Nokia, which she threw out the window in "blind rage". I felt awful having to thank her for calling. Sadly, this is a daily event. FML

#20559802
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28323) - you deserved it (2135)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, whilst chatting with my mum on MSN, she unintentionally sent me an animated emoticon of a penis jerking off repeatedly. I don't even want to know the type of conversation she was having. FML

#375
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34333) - you deserved it (2134)

On 11/23/2008 at 4:24am - intimacy - by Dina - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML

#17982026
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31557) - you deserved it (2134)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved

Today, I was at work doing phone computer support helping a woman with her computer. I asked her to close all her open windows. She deleted all the important company documents in the open folder instead. I got fired because "close windows" and "delete" have become "too technical" for users. FML

#4133060
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48994) - you deserved it (2133)

On 07/29/2009 at 12:34pm - work - by pixelbaker (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out where all my expensive bras and panties have been disappearing to. Apparently, while I'm at work, my fifteen year-old son's girlfriend has been stealing them after they have sex in my bed. FML

#6874607
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17858) - you deserved it (2133)

On 12/21/2009 at 10:28pm - intimacy - by Secretisout (woman) - United States (Washington)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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