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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found out I'm balding faster than my dad. I'm 19. FML

#3768794
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51640) - you deserved it (2732)

On 07/15/2009 at 4:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad came home from Vegas. Today, my college savings account is down by $64,000. FML

#6362142
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39317) - you deserved it (2733)

On 11/18/2009 at 10:31pm - misc - by screwed - United States (New York)

Today, I was on the bus when my crush told me to come and sit with him. I got all excited, especially when he put his arm around me. He then whispered in my ear "Hey, is your friend over there single?" FML

#2761787
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46627) - you deserved it (2731)

On 06/09/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by vishurricanes (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a lovely little surprise after I got out of the shower. That lovely little surprise? I got stung in the scrotum by a hornet that had decided to nestle itself inside the towel I was drying off with. FML

#4256905
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51879) - you deserved it (2731)

On 08/03/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Tyler (man) - United States

Today, I was riding on the bus, when I felt a weird sensation on my hair. The person behind me was petting it. FML

#17182266
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30298) - you deserved it (2731)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:29pm - misc - by imnotacat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a girl came into my salon to permanently straighten her really long and curly hair. After several long hours, I went to the counter to charge her. She ran out faster than an Olympic runner. FML

#17473722
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36874) - you deserved it (2731)

On 08/14/2011 at 8:47pm - work - by theultimatesalonfail - United States

Today, I found out through his Facebook update and a text message that my fiancé demoted me to girlfriend status. I was sitting in the next room. FML

#20547323
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30554) - you deserved it (2731)

On 03/17/2013 at 6:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at work, a woman demanded a refund for a video game. She had no receipt, so due to company policy, I couldn't refund her. She reacted by loudly accusing me of being racist, then yelled that she'd see me in court as she finally stormed out. FML

#20737368
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42758) - you deserved it (2731)

On 06/20/2013 at 3:15pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

#20958646
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40639) - you deserved it (2731)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland

Today, my husband of five years told me he's leaving me and will be gone when I return from Iraq. When I told him I love him and asked him not to go, he said he won't file divorce papers just yet, but he's moving out-of-state because "we need time apart." I've been gone for most of the year. FML

#5603629
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41146) - you deserved it (2730)

On 10/02/2009 at 12:47pm - love - by everyonesdivorced (woman) - Iraq (Baghdad)

Today, my sister went into early labor. Instead of telling me, my mom turns to my dog and says "Guess what? You're going to be an uncle!" Our new dog ranks higher than me in our family's metaphorical food chain. FML

#4726515
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29712) - you deserved it (2729)

On 08/22/2009 at 1:39am - animals - by bigscarypuppy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was rudely stopped in the park by a woman screaming at me for being a slut for having a baby so young. She got so worked up that she started swearing. Not only was I just babysitting for a friend, I am unable to get the toddler to stop swearing. FML

#14772330
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41316) - you deserved it (2729)

On 01/30/2011 at 9:46am - kids - by QuicksilverMaximoff (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, I got home from work to find my boyfriend sobbing hysterically over the death of his cat. The only cat he could be talking about is the one on his Sims account. FML

#19505597
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23658) - you deserved it (2729)

On 04/21/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)



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