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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, the woman I babysat for blamed me for the cut on her son's face, and fired me with no pay for not looking after him properly. He already had the cut when I arrived. FML

#20652046
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46824) - you deserved it (2786)

On 05/09/2013 at 1:44pm - kids - by rachelllynne - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my boss decided that we no longer have to clock out for cigarette breaks, but we do for toilet breaks. I'm the only non-smoker on my floor, and I'm getting penalised for it. FML

#20886555
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40592) - you deserved it (2786)

On 09/18/2013 at 1:48pm - work - by Anon - United Kingdom

Today, I had a conversation with a girl I don't normally talk to. She ended up saying I'm "not as annoying as everyone says." and "Oh... you didn't know?" FML

#21259544
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31595) - you deserved it (2786)

On 09/16/2014 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, thanks to my brilliant hairstylist, I ended up with a brand new haircut, which I like to call the "Bowler hat-and-Spaghetti" cut. FML

#8719184
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19334) - you deserved it (2785)

On 02/28/2010 at 2:00pm - misc - by AtikaSucks (woman) - Tunisia

Today, I found out I can't go to my best friend's birthday party. To cheer me up, my parents decided to take me and my brother to my favorite pizzeria for dinner. When I was ready and went downstairs, I discovered they left already. They forgot me. FML

#17130002
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33659) - you deserved it (2785)

On 07/16/2011 at 12:25am - misc - by jordy1995 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 10-year-old brother got the bright idea to urinate in my oven to cool it off. My whole house smells like burnt piss. FML

#18624102
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31056) - you deserved it (2785)

On 12/27/2011 at 10:53am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents sat me down and told me that I'm adopted. I took it in stride, and reassured them that as far as I'm concerned, they're my true parents. That annoyed them. Apparently the whole thing was a prank for a YouTube video, which I ruined by not crying or freaking out. FML

#21247893
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45325) - you deserved it (2785)

On 08/29/2014 at 2:09pm - kids - by hannahka (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a very pretty girl came up to me and asked me for my phone number. Very pleased, I give it to her with a huge smile and tell her that I can be reached at any time. I then watch her go back to her group of friends. My number was for her gay friend, who then meekly waved at me. FML

#718
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23457) - you deserved it (2784)

On 01/06/2009 at 6:58am - love - by musamalia - Sent from mobile version

Today, my parents met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. They not only brought along embarrassing childhood photos of myself, they'd 'accidentally' placed an intimate photo of me and my ex-girlfriend with them. That was their subtle way of telling everyone they prefer my ex. FML

#5772733
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34930) - you deserved it (2784)

On 10/11/2009 at 7:25am - love - by hateparents (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I overheard my parents discussing whether or not they could trust me being alone in the house for 2 days. They then came to the decision that I'm too unpopular and unattractive to ever throw a wild party or get laid. FML

#7156329
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32344) - you deserved it (2784)

On 01/05/2010 at 12:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's your tip for the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML

Today, my apartment has been echoing all day with the wails of my cat, Butters. He's yet again managed to trap himself in the umbrella stand. In the past, he has eventually gotten himself out, but this time I think I might have to use a hacksaw. FML

#19684579
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17628) - you deserved it (2784)

On 05/26/2012 at 5:35pm - misc - by Dom - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, I added "a road sign" to my ever-growing list of 'Things which have hit my car as a result of the wind.' FML

#18465867
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21221) - you deserved it (2784)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:05am - misc - by it'sabitwindy - United States



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