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Today, I was in the shower, oblivious to the outside world, when four police officers who had apparently been banging at my door, entered by force. They were doing a bust on a weed farm and got the wrong house. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2013 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received my graduation gift, a bath robe, from my parents. My have two older sisters also graduated. The first one got a Tiffany's bracelet, the second one got a plane ticket to Europe. FML

by dileigh / 03/10/2009 at 2:37pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation

Today, I was driving home through the middle of nowhere when a screw punctured my car tire. I arrived at the town's only auto shop to find that it had closed early. Frantic, I dialed the emergency number listed on the shop's locked door. On the other side of the glass, a phone began to ring. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2009 at 11:24am / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation

Today, my new coworker told me he expects me to call him King Kong and bow down to him whenever he walks past. FML

by earths_venus / 07/24/2010 at 3:44am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is cheating on me when she was arrested for having sex in public. Not with me though. FML

by ken / 07/19/2011 at 3:40am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my boss is still refusing to hire any more people because he's convinced I can handle all of the work after the majority of staff quit. FML

by Inthedumps / 07/22/2014 at 8:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, my doctor told me my ankle has been fractured since last week. I've been helping drywall the basement, and trying to walk up and down stairs for a week. My husband has been telling me to man up, and it's not that bad. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2009 at 2:12pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was driving with my mom. She had some soda with her from earlier, and even though it was probably warm, I was thirsty. I ask for a sip, she hands it to me and says sure. And I get a mouthful of ash-and-cigarette-butt-filled soda. Apparently she didn't feel the need to mention this to me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2010 at 11:28am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, out of all the cars in the parking lot, mine got struck by lightning. FML

by A. / 10/14/2010 at 3:15am / United States / Transportation

Today, I found out that while I see a therapist for my trust issues, my husband sleeps with our nanny. FML

by nevergonnatrust / 11/18/2010 at 4:23am / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend's mother who lives with us decided that since I work from home, it would be a good idea for her to stay home and keep me company. "Keeping me company" includes ordering me to make her food, gossiping non stop, and ridiculing me for not being the woman that she always saw her son marrying. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2011 at 5:50pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I broke my collarbone in a rugby tournament. I was forced to sit through five more hours of games because the coach wouldn't take me to the hospital until the tournament was over. FML

by nico / 07/01/2011 at 12:15am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, a co-worker passed me a note with information about one of our cute, new co-workers I was interested in. Her report? Simple: "Lesbian. Try again. They're EVERYWHERE!" FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2012 at 11:46pm / United States / Love