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Today, I found out that the 2 loud "firework booms" I heard were actually a guy shooting his dog on the unfinished road behind my house. FML

#16970335
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37430) - you deserved it (2599)

On 07/04/2011 at 5:11am - animals - by oopsies - United States

Today, I spilled hot coffee all over this man at work. I tried apologizing and saying it was an accident, but he then complained, which resulted in me being unemployed. The man I spilled coffee on was my uncle. FML

#17834355
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29284) - you deserved it (2599)

On 09/25/2011 at 9:57pm - work - by Chan - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finally gained the nerve to ask out the girl of my dreams. She responded by saying, "You need to lower your standards." FML

#19637650
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25350) - you deserved it (2599)

On 05/17/2012 at 5:07pm - love - by colts609380 - United States (California)

Today, I came home from a knee surgery. I asked my mother to get me a glass of water. She replied, "You can get it, you're not crippled. Oh wait, yeah you are" and laughed hysterically. FML

#19848525
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25496) - you deserved it (2599)

On 06/26/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by crippy - United States

Today, the guy I like and his friend came home with me to work on a project. I opened my front door and my mum was at the top of the stairs completely naked, bent over, drying her hair with the hairdryer. It took a few moments for her to realise we were there. FML

#20504733
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30898) - you deserved it (2599)

On 02/13/2013 at 6:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (North Ayrshire)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML

#6131025
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37617) - you deserved it (2598)

On 11/03/2009 at 2:24am - love - by whysheheartless (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I visited my family for spring break because I've been away at college and I haven't seen them since Christmas. Almost as soon as I walked in the door, my mom had me clean the living room area, clean up cat vomit, and do the dishes. Thanks guys... I missed you too. FML

#9047484
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22018) - you deserved it (2598)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:01pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was walking past a group of old men exiting a building. All of a sudden, I heard a strange splashing sound, and discovered one of the completely inebriated men walking behind me, pissing on my boots. I sped up, but so did he, and he didn't miss once until he was done. FML

#8658955
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24419) - you deserved it (2597)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:17am - misc - by cman (man) - Romania (Iasi)

Today, at work, a three year old chucked a chocolate bar at me. It hit me square in the face. Her father praised her for her "quality arm." FML

#13024649
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22409) - you deserved it (2597)

On 09/12/2010 at 8:08pm - misc - by tenthousandspoon - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my doctor told me my asthma was being triggered by my dad's smoking. He wrote a note to my dad, asking him to refrain from smoking while around me. My dad took one look at the note, then threw it in the trash, saying the doctor "doesn't know what he's talking about." FML

#15977216
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39204) - you deserved it (2597)

On 04/29/2011 at 12:09pm - health - by Wtf (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to my husband's work to give him lunch. His assistant told me his "wife" was in his office. FML

#18108798
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45190) - you deserved it (2597)

On 10/30/2011 at 2:32am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after dieting, rigorous exercising and a major lifestyle change, I have finally reached my fitness goal. My parents were more excited about my 17-year-old brother getting to 3rd base with his girlfriend. FML

#19670300
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22643) - you deserved it (2597)

On 05/23/2012 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while working in a restaurant, I took an elderly man to his table under a red colored lamp. He asked me if this was "the red light district." I thought he was just kidding until when I was placing down the menus he leaned in and whispered creepily in my ear, "You know, you're really sexy." FML

#2960234
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37589) - you deserved it (2596)

On 06/17/2009 at 3:12am - intimacy - by creepedouthostess (woman) - United States (Washington)



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