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Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML

#20012686
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22686) - you deserved it (2908)

On 08/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by banana2894 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mother told her friends that I work as a call girl. I'm a call center agent. FML

#20989169
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37081) - you deserved it (2908)

On 12/11/2013 at 5:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Luxembourg

Today, my future father in law motorboated my breasts as I bent down to give him a hug goodbye. The rest of the family stood there laughing. This is what I'm marrying into? FML

#6665915
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22788) - you deserved it (2907)

On 12/08/2009 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by umm - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that instead of having four wisdom teeth, I have eight. They all have to be removed as soon as possible, which happens to be over the Christmas break. I get to spend my whole vacation in excruciating pain and a swollen face to boot. FML

#13304809
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27320) - you deserved it (2907)

On 10/03/2010 at 2:52pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 10-year-old brother got the bright idea to urinate in my oven to cool it off. My whole house smells like burnt piss. FML

#18624102
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32459) - you deserved it (2907)

On 12/27/2011 at 10:53am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML

#18553148
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24398) - you deserved it (2907)

On 12/19/2011 at 1:01pm - misc - by This girl (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I wandered around my property with my children, trying to find our escaped house cat. While in the more wooded parts, we spotted her on the ground, being picked over by a coyote. FML

#18795812
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37244) - you deserved it (2907)

On 01/13/2012 at 1:57pm - animals - by Jeslyn03 - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was cleaning up litter from the street, when a guy asked who I work for. I said nobody and that I was just doing some community service. Before I could clarify that it was voluntary community service, he called me a "piece of shit delinquent", spat on me, and walked off. FML

#20898099
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39923) - you deserved it (2907)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:01pm - misc - by sigh (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had a new client on my massage list. Two of my fingers got stuck in the thick coat of hair covering his back. I had to stop myself from making grunting noises whilst extricating them. FML

#20914768
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37780) - you deserved it (2907)

On 10/10/2013 at 1:25am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, everyone in my department got a raise except for me. Last week, I had been the one who asked for a raise for me and my fellow department members. FML

#4698361
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34098) - you deserved it (2906)

On 08/21/2009 at 12:52am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, someone actually thought it was appropriate to compare my mother's death to the death of their cat. FML

#19125744
203 comments

Today, I was renovating the house, and my girlfriend asked, "Do you use electrical tape on electrical stuff?" Not knowing where she was going with this, I just gave her a puzzled look. She continued by saying, "Because it's not like people use duct tape on ducks." FML

#20158312
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21174) - you deserved it (2906)

On 11/11/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Danny - United States (Utah)

Today, I rode my new motorcycle to work for the first time. As I accelerated, I felt a sharp pain in my neck. Apparently, poisonous spiders can actually get trapped inside motorbike helmets. Duly noted. FML



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