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Today, my mom found a new fad, and now styles herself as some kind of modern druid. Normally I'd just roll my eyes and deal with it, except she's forced the entire family to go vegetarian, threatening harsh punishments if we refuse to stop "poisoning" our bodies. FML

#20943896
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38176) - you deserved it (3074)

On 11/03/2013 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

#21311441
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43299) - you deserved it (3074)

On 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. My doctor said it was okay to eat, so, I had some mashed potatoes. Apparently, my body disagreed with the doctor, because I threw up. Because my face was so swollen, it didn't make it out my mouth. It went through my nose instead. I literally blew chunks. FML

Today, I was at Wal-Mart where all the aisles had been moved. An elderly woman asked me where the pet products were, so I told her that I didn't know, but showed her where they could be. An hour later, she came back with security. She'd told them I'd purposefully gotten her lost. They threw me out. FML

#13718235
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29226) - you deserved it (3073)

On 11/04/2010 at 8:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my fiancé suggested we bring his elderly mother with us on our honeymoon. FML

#14422998
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34226) - you deserved it (3073)

On 01/01/2011 at 8:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom gave me the "birds and the bees" talk, while she was taking a dump. FML

#17172362
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32770) - you deserved it (3073)

On 07/19/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by KidCudi227 - United States (Arizona)

Today, and all day, I was forced to listen to one of the kids in my apartment building play their recorder loudly and horribly. She started over whenever she missed a note. I was sick, was getting a migraine from it, and couldn't ask her to stop without her mom yelling at me. FML

#18242720
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21969) - you deserved it (3073)

On 11/13/2011 at 11:46pm - health - by mintypoison (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my new roommate got kicked out of his old house because he pulled a gun on his old roommates and threatened them. The reason? They nagged him about dishes he left in the sink. Well, only 10 months left on the lease. FML

#18314926
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28557) - you deserved it (3073)

On 11/22/2011 at 6:36am - misc - by Charles Pennington (man) - United States

Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML

#21363021
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28543) - you deserved it (3073)

On 02/24/2015 at 11:33pm - animals - by Sarah1330 (woman) - United States

Today, at the restaurant I work at, my own mom refused to give a tip and complained to my boss. FML

#21390474
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31710) - you deserved it (3073)

On 04/09/2015 at 3:55am - work - by jackzz - Vietnam (Dac Lac)

Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML

#14493785
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26710) - you deserved it (3072)

On 01/07/2011 at 3:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mother got me to guess who she spent the night with. I then find out it was the gas station guy. The same creep that I've been complaining about because he hits on me every time I go get gas. Good pick Mom. FML

#14907704
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33313) - you deserved it (3072)

On 02/09/2011 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the boy who loved me and left me literally became the poster boy for my college. His picture is on the home page of the college website and on a banner in the cafeteria where I eat every day. FML

#20893327
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40222) - you deserved it (3072)

On 09/23/2013 at 6:38pm - love - by justonce (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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