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Today, my mom gave me the "birds and the bees" talk, while she was taking a dump. FML

#17172362
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34305) - you deserved it (3214)

On 07/19/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by KidCudi227 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was giving an anti-drugs speech to a group of ninth graders. I got onto the topic of trafficking from problem countries and asked a student to point out Mexico City on a map. He hesitated a few seconds before pointing at Canada. What the hell has the education system come to? FML

#17874852
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32619) - you deserved it (3214)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:55pm - kids - by jesus christ - United States

Today, I got screamed at by a woman at work for feeding her 3-week-old infant formula instead of the bottled Kool-Aid that she packed. FML

#20854260
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48510) - you deserved it (3214)

On 08/25/2013 at 9:28pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend went to work instead of going to my father's funeral. He works at home and chooses his own hours. FML

#21308437
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35966) - you deserved it (3214)

On 11/29/2014 at 11:29pm - misc - by .... - United States (Illinois)

Today, a coworker jokingly noted that my signature looks like "Pedo". I couldn't see it that way, so I asked some other people for their opinion. They confessed they'd always thought it looked like "Pedo", but never said anything. My name is Peele. I've been signing it off as Pedo for 10 years. FML

#21381199
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26774) - you deserved it (3214)

On 03/25/2015 at 9:10am - misc - by peele - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML

#20460160
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35455) - you deserved it (3213)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by Brooke - United States (California)

Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML

#20661009
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44468) - you deserved it (3213)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, at my house party, I caught my boyfriend having sex with my best friend. His excuse? He wanted to be better in bed for me. FML

#21402521
108 comments

Today, I took my 8 year old nephew to Laser Tag for his birthday party. I reluctantly was forced into playing one game. Apparently, no one explained the rules to one child and instead of 'shooting' me with his laser pointer, he kicked me straight in the balls. FML

#7694418
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28829) - you deserved it (3212)

On 01/30/2010 at 12:40am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, all the while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML

#12624086
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37609) - you deserved it (3212)

On 08/19/2010 at 11:48am - misc - by feartheend511 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I came down with painful sores in my mouth, just after having gotten over a cold. Apparently I'm allergic to the cough drops I've been eating for the past week to make myself feel better. FML

#15289353
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28575) - you deserved it (3212)

On 03/13/2011 at 12:52am - misc - by Rawrssa (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I finally found out who has been sending me hate letters, it's my husband's ex-wife. They've been divorced for 7 years. FML

#16778449
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32973) - you deserved it (3212)

On 06/21/2011 at 8:25am - love - by nasty_ex - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got trapped in a glass elevator at the mall. My father walked right by the elevator, laughed and went into a store. A fireman got me out. FML

#16990171
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33147) - you deserved it (3212)

On 07/05/2011 at 6:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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