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Today, I had to be rushed to the hospital when I started sneezing uncontrollably and got a huge rash. It turns out I'm highly allergic to a chemical in most cleaning supplies. Great. I just got a job as a house cleaner for a very rich family. FML

#20632205
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41987) - you deserved it (2592)

On 04/30/2013 at 4:04am - health - by ava_henryy - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to X-ray an 81 year old lady. The clothes she was wearing would show up on the X-ray so I had to make her change into a gown. I found out the hard way that 81 year olds still go commando. FML

#8369327
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21255) - you deserved it (2591)

On 02/17/2010 at 7:50am - work - by ugamayne - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend likes to show his female co-workers his dick, by emailing them pictures of it. I found out when he included my email address in with theirs. FML

#13880762
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27987) - you deserved it (2591)

On 11/17/2010 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I watched as my step-dad put locks on my window, because he's convinced that I've been sneaking out at night. All my mom did was casually remark that I'm fucked if there's ever a fire. FML

#19301577
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27289) - you deserved it (2591)

On 03/18/2012 at 4:02pm - misc - by Rapunzel (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, just three days into a much-needed vacation, my 5-year-old daughter has come down with chickenpox. FML

#19506511
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21712) - you deserved it (2592)

On 04/21/2012 at 3:26pm - kids - by Lorena - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I found a purse in the school bathroom. When I looked inside, there was an iPod along with some other expensive stuff in it. I took it to the office so the right owner would get it back. The owner passed me in the hall on the way there; she freaked out and punched me in the face. FML

#20551761
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39964) - you deserved it (2591)

On 03/20/2013 at 12:55am - misc - by really? (woman) - United States

Today, my superior gave me a box of ethernet cables which were previously attached to mainframes storing classified data. He requested I cut them in half so that the residual data would leak out. Not only does this guy make twice my salary, there was no convincing him otherwise. We cut them up. FML

Today, my ass decided that it was the perfect day to exhibit the diarrhea side-effect of medicine I'm taking. I definitely made a lasting impression on my interviewer. FML

#20846310
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38192) - you deserved it (2591)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:18pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was baby-sitting four rather noisy and rowdy kids. After a two hour struggle, I finally manage to get them into bed. I then ask them what they want before going to sleep, and the eldest replies: "Can you tell us a story where you die at the end?" FML

#624
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29223) - you deserved it (2590)

On 12/29/2008 at 5:56am - kids - by Hellau - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was having a great time shopping with my gran, until she started complaining about all the foreigners ruining our town, and counting each person who didn't look 100% British. It wouldn't even have been so bad if I wasn't adopted into the family, from Russia. FML

#17330812
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32561) - you deserved it (2590)

On 08/01/2011 at 11:05am - misc - by Foreigner (woman) - Jersey

Today, I was trying on some clothes in the store's changing room, when someone reached under the door and grabbed my purse, shoes, and pants. FML

#19511561
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23527) - you deserved it (2590)

On 04/22/2012 at 3:08pm - misc - by Gitana (woman) - Spain (Navarra)

Today, I turned 30 years old. My dad, the only living relative I have, gave me a call. Not to wish me a happy birthday, but to tell me about "a hot piece of ass" he nailed at the senior center last night. FML

#2429850
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52324) - you deserved it (2589)

On 05/30/2009 at 11:18am - misc - by willieboom (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was walking to my mailbox and I fell down and couldn't get up. My neighbor walked by with his dog, took one look at me struggling, said "What is wrong with kids these days, drunk at 9am" and continued on. I couldn't get up because I am still healing from a stress fracture in my hip. FML

#3715580
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48588) - you deserved it (2589)

On 07/13/2009 at 12:21pm - animals - by notwasted39 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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