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Today, at my job as a cocktail server in a bar, a group of good looking ladies sat in my section. As I was finishing up with the table next to them I overheard one of them saying, "I hope we don't get that guy, I want a sexy waiter tonight." FML

#18286686
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32111) - you deserved it (2652)

On 11/19/2011 at 2:58am - misc - by Tyler - United States (Iowa)

Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend of two years expressing my feelings for her. She responded with, "I'm going to bed." FML

#19464902
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22951) - you deserved it (2652)

On 04/14/2012 at 2:27am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got whiplash from sneezing. FML

#19448000
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17665) - you deserved it (2652)

On 04/11/2012 at 3:04am - health - by kissrocks4 - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

#20452458
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31431) - you deserved it (2652)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States

Today, my boss chewed me out for correcting several spelling and grammar mistakes in one of his reports. The words "Think you're so damn smart, don't ya?" were uttered. I'm his secretary, and proofreading his shit is part of my job. FML

#21243125
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41070) - you deserved it (2654)

On 08/22/2014 at 12:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boss called me into his office. I thought I was getting promoted because my sales had been really high lately. My boss shut his door behind me and asked me if I could comb his hair with a lice comb to get rid of his lice. I had to do it to keep my job. FML

#259626
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65235) - you deserved it (2651)

On 03/10/2009 at 9:02am - misc - by Janet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to see my guidance counselor. I was supposed to hear from my college about a scholarship by October 3rd. I was worried since it was already the 2nd so I went to talk to her. She never turned in my nomination. Goodbye $80,000 scholarship. FML

#5615281
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47277) - you deserved it (2651)

On 10/03/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by Screwed (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out why two of my friends race downstairs to each other to the cafeteria everyday at lunch; apparently there's only one free seat at the table with the rest of their friends, and the loser has to eat lunch with me. FML

#6725334
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31831) - you deserved it (2651)

On 12/12/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to sit through chemistry class watching the kid in front of me slowly peel off the scabs on his arms, examine them, and then eat them. For an hour. FML

#18451156
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41541) - you deserved it (2651)

On 12/07/2011 at 6:35am - health - by cuppycakeslove - United States (Ohio)

Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML

#19059341
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36371) - you deserved it (2652)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm - kids - by amythest - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I went to my first class of the year. The first thing the teacher said was, "I hate this f*cking school." FML

#20867651
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34271) - you deserved it (2651)

On 09/04/2013 at 4:39pm - misc - by swana99 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my flatmate was listening to opera on full volume all afternoon and now he's playing James Bond on the trumpet. FML

#621
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18348) - you deserved it (2651)

On 12/29/2008 at 1:09am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to my best friend's wedding. All my friends and their boyfriends were seated at one table, while I, as the only single girl in the group, was put on a table with all the other single people. They were all over forty years older than me. I feel like I have seen my future. FML

#6478242
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28797) - you deserved it (2650)

On 11/27/2009 at 1:16pm - love - by singlegirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)



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