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Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML

#18368506
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22428) - you deserved it (3106)

On 11/27/2011 at 5:46pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I accidentally bumped into another car on the road. The worst of the damage was a slight chip to the other driver's paint, but she played it up so much that she ended up being taken away in an ambulance. I'm now terrified that the crazy bitch is going to sue me. FML

#20158993
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27665) - you deserved it (3106)

On 11/11/2012 at 2:11pm - money - by youfuckingslut (man) - United States

Today, a drunken guest in the hotel I work at has barricaded himself in the employee restroom and refuses to come out, unless I "promise to love him forever." It's 4am and I'm the only one here. FML

Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML

#21279658
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37475) - you deserved it (3106)

On 10/17/2014 at 6:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my Canadian friend is staying a few days at my parents' house. I drove him from the airport, only to find my idiot dad had decked the spare room out with maple syrup bottles. He keeps saying "eh" all the time and asked "What's he so upset aboot?" when my friend was offended. FML

#21316775
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32014) - you deserved it (3106)

On 12/13/2014 at 1:36pm - misc - by ehxtraordinarily pissed (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my father came back from a business trip in Canada. He handed me an "I Love Canada" pen. He brought back an xbox 360 for my younger brother. FML

#70401
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64711) - you deserved it (3105)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:59pm - misc - by lalalee (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was picking up my 10 year old step-son from the airport. He began screaming and crying saying that I wasn't his father. I ended up sitting in a holding room because the security guards thought I was kidnapping him. My wife thought it was hilarious. FML

#5525269
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44872) - you deserved it (3105)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:13am - kids - by justgreat (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, when my mother-in-law told me I was losing weight, my husband started laughing. FML

#18430491
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26632) - you deserved it (3105)

On 12/04/2011 at 8:13pm - love - by brittrod - United States

Today, my wife screamed at me, calling me a "useless, ungrateful piece of crap", all because I wouldn't have sex with her, despite hours of her nagging. I said no because I've been laid-up in bed for the past week waiting on surgery for an excruciatingly painful hernia. FML

#18986736
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34867) - you deserved it (3105)

On 02/03/2012 at 8:17pm - intimacy - by B (man) - United States

Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to pick up her things. I decided to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML

#20170390
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23833) - you deserved it (3105)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:03am - love - by Chris (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband and I bought a new swing for our front porch. We put it together and sat down to enjoy our accomplishment. 5 minutes into our swing I threw up several times. I have really bad motion sickness, and apparently a swing is no exception. FML

#20074281
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18095) - you deserved it (3105)

On 09/16/2012 at 8:36am - misc - by kacie smith - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I finally unfriended my roommate's mom on Facebook after months of her commenting on my wall multiple times a day and basically stalking me. After discovering this, she drove to our apartment to demand through hysterical tears that my roommate move out because I can't be trusted. FML

Today, after living with my mom for years to save money I finally moved into my first condo. The day after I made my first mortgage payment the sewage system back up and leaked into my bedroom from outside, ruining the carpets and the walls. I have to move back in with my mom until it’s fixed. FML



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