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Today, I made a joke about having a wedding to my mom and she told me not to joke about something that will probably never happen. FML

#21465
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32305) - you deserved it (2983)

On 02/10/2009 at 5:30pm - misc - by NoWedding (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it was my first day with new contacts, but I found out they make my eyes red and itchy. Today was also the day I had a very important meeting. They think I showed up stoned. FML

#6599049
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26476) - you deserved it (2983)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I saw my boyfriend of a year kissing another girl. When I walked up to confront him about it, he tried to convince the other girl he didn't know who I was. FML

#17989698
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41160) - you deserved it (2983)

On 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick his knob in the toaster. FML

#20893446
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38903) - you deserved it (2983)

On 09/23/2013 at 8:05pm - kids - by latter - United States (Maryland)

Today, my father described me as "the sort of sucker women marry then cheat on all the time." My mother agreed with him. FML

#21279077
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33416) - you deserved it (2983)

On 10/16/2014 at 1:07pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I still didn't feel quite awake after the first lesson at school, so I went to get a cup of coffee from the vending machine. I had just enough money for it. No cup dropped into the holder, and the whole thing poured straight into the drip tray while I watched. FML

#21310620
84 comments

Today, I got my boyfriend a pair of concert tickets for his birthday. He loved the gift, but turned to me and said "Do I have to bring you?" FML

#37272
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35470) - you deserved it (2983)

On 02/13/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by sarahhh (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML

#19343644
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23469) - you deserved it (2982)

On 03/25/2012 at 7:59am - animals - by PicklesMcRaptor - United States (Florida)

Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML

#20518354
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30449) - you deserved it (2982)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up to the lovely sounds of goats having escaped their pen and climbed onto the roof. Again. FML

Today, I saw a homeless guy in the street. It really upset me how everyone's spirit of giving vanished as soon as Christmas was over, so I said fuck it and gave him about $50 worth of money. I barely made it 10 feet away, when another guy mugged him for the money I just gave. FML

#21330614
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35679) - you deserved it (2982)

On 01/04/2015 at 11:58am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML

#20061927
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25383) - you deserved it (2981)

On 09/07/2012 at 12:23pm - work - by PuddlePirate (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, for the second time, I met the man I'm having an arranged marriage with in 3 months. I'd previously met him last night, while he was mugging me. FML

#20120711
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40602) - you deserved it (2981)

On 10/17/2012 at 6:15am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia



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