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Today, I paid £140 for a train ticket. All the seats were full. When I sat in the corridor the guard yelled at me. I paid £140 to stand outside a stinking train toilet for 7 hours. FML

#15858799
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27642) - you deserved it (2903)

On 04/20/2011 at 12:13pm - misc - by Sivvus (woman) - Reserved

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

#17344218
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32076) - you deserved it (2903)

On 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by scully11 (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my parents took me on a plane ride for a vacation in Hong Kong. What they didn't tell me was that the "vacation" is extended for three years. FML

#17297166
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42996) - you deserved it (2903)

On 07/29/2011 at 11:37am - misc - by xxxkkxxx - Hong Kong

Today, someone actually thought it was appropriate to compare my mother's death to the death of their cat. FML

#19125744
203 comments

Today, my son told me he needed a haircut. I was thrilled that he actually requested it, since he normally throws a fit over getting them. He described the cut he wants. It's a mullet. FML

#19523693
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24103) - you deserved it (2903)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:59pm - kids - by DaveAlmighty (man) - United States

Today, the family computer's 15-year-old CRT monitor which gives me headaches finally stopped working. My dad quickly found a replacement: an even older CRT monitor that gives me worse headaches. FML

#21311912
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30131) - you deserved it (2903)

On 12/05/2014 at 9:00am - misc - by has an old monitor (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, my neighbor declared his love for me via "the medium of interpretative dance." FML

#17641775
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26276) - you deserved it (2902)

On 09/02/2011 at 2:54am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML

#17853519
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36008) - you deserved it (2902)

On 09/28/2011 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Sabraynay -

Today, on the bus, when I was asking my 6-year-old son what he wanted for Christmas, a stranger came up to us and yelled at him about how Santa Claus is not real, that his "parents are fucking liars" and that he should "never listen to anything one of those fuckers says." FML

#20200046
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30104) - you deserved it (2902)

On 12/11/2012 at 2:15am - kids - by n1a1t1h1a1n1 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML

#20720453
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58847) - you deserved it (2902)

On 06/11/2013 at 10:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my father, who is divorced from my mother, has set up a lawsuit against her and that I am required to go to court and testify against her as a witness. I've tried to keep neutral for six years, and I'll go to jail if I don't show up. FML

#3544767
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65808) - you deserved it (2901)

On 07/07/2009 at 1:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my aunt and uncle stole $584 from me, since I'm moving out. Their reasoning? I stole things. When I asked what I'd stolen, my aunt looked me straight in the eye and said "Milk Duds." FML

#17566014
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31802) - you deserved it (2901)

On 08/24/2011 at 4:03am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a man in my town was arrested for hiding methanphetamine in a hollowed out walking cane and distributing it to the population of his retirement complex. That man was my 58 year old father. FML

#259923
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69264) - you deserved it (2900)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Georgia)



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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