Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I saw a friend in the street but he didn't see me, so as a joke I decided to ring him. He took his mobile out of his pocket, sighed and didn't pick up. FML

#1016
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30649) - you deserved it (2765)

On 01/12/2009 at 9:47pm - misc - by patty - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mom told me that I am going to end up getting myself pregnant. I am 21 and a virgin. She continued to yell at me and call me a liar all night. I don't know which is worse, being a 21 year old virgin or my mother accusing me of lying about it. FML

#6629569
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32309) - you deserved it (2765)

On 12/06/2009 at 3:07am - misc - by virginmary (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom still refers to his ex as 'the daughter she never had.' FML

#10621379
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28850) - you deserved it (2765)

On 05/19/2010 at 1:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently, the mafia is out to get him. FML

#19071061
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23136) - you deserved it (2765)

On 02/14/2012 at 1:32am - love - by Just_Me_88 (woman) - United States

Today, it was my wedding. Everyone showed up, except my fiancé. FML

#19575941
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43904) - you deserved it (2765)

On 05/05/2012 at 3:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34231) - you deserved it (2765)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was using the urinal when another guy came in. His friends decided to scare him while he was using the urinal next to mine. They jumped out at him, he turned around and ended up peeing all over me. FML

#20791582
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48057) - you deserved it (2765)

On 07/19/2013 at 12:29am - misc - by the unfortunate man - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mother came up to me a swim meet and shouted to me in the bleachers "If you have to go potty, go now because there is a long line!". I'm seventeen. FML

#2262925
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47052) - you deserved it (2764)

On 05/25/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by embarassed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML

#14194626
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27561) - you deserved it (2764)

On 12/13/2010 at 8:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got my lip pierced. By the orthodontist. FML

#13518841
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35527) - you deserved it (2764)

On 10/19/2010 at 11:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my sister attacked me and stuffed a Tic Tac up my nose. I'm currently in the hospital waiting to have it removed. FML

#18738638
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29140) - you deserved it (2764)

On 01/07/2012 at 7:33pm - health - by tictacnose - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend.' FML

#18614469
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22926) - you deserved it (2764)

On 12/26/2011 at 7:11am - love - by SoccerBabe42 (woman) - Canada

Today, I had my eyebrows waxed for my senior pictures. After manhandling me, the cosmetologist managed to "accidentally" take my whole eyebrow off. It looks like I'll be remembered forevermore as the girl with one eyebrow. FML

#19987412
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20585) - you deserved it (2764)

On 07/27/2012 at 1:46pm - misc - by booo - United States (Nevada)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: