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Today, after months of correcting him, I got so used to my boss calling me "Alex" that I didn't respond to my own name several times today. FML

Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML

#21398963
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28341) - you deserved it (3128)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:07am - intimacy - by someoneneedsassistance - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that if you lose contact with people in your previous school, they decide to spread rumors about you and make everyone believe that you're dead. FML

#6365565
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27674) - you deserved it (3127)

On 11/19/2009 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML

#7760741
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25980) - you deserved it (3127)

On 01/31/2010 at 10:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got my braces off. I also got my tongue pierced. Both by my orthodontist. FML

#18273711
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36778) - you deserved it (3127)

On 11/17/2011 at 4:27pm - health - by OUCH. - United States

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML

#19528563
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25835) - you deserved it (3127)

On 04/25/2012 at 6:43pm - love - by anyoi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in an attempt to be romantic, my boyfriend threw little stones against my window. Unfortunately, the window wasn't closed, and I was standing in front of it. FML

#19636486
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22999) - you deserved it (3127)

On 05/17/2012 at 11:02am - love - by Vero (woman) - Austria (Oberosterreich)

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

#19961966
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35764) - you deserved it (3127)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States

Today, my creepy co-worker walked up and said, "You know, I was having sex with this girl last night, and I almost said your name." FML

#20570966
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44671) - you deserved it (3127)

On 04/02/2013 at 12:11am - work - by QuinnyZebrass (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML

#20696326
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47208) - you deserved it (3127)

On 05/30/2013 at 10:35pm - work - by heyyoitsapotato - United States

Today, it's my one year anniversary with my husband. I put on a sexy outfit, red dress and slinky underwear, and waited for him to get home. He walked in the door and asked me with a quizzical look if I was going out tonight. FML

#348
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30916) - you deserved it (3126)

On 11/20/2008 at 6:10am - love - by Ciabatta - Sent from mobile version

Today, while at the restaurant I work at, a bunch of kids came in. They all gave incredibly complex orders, laughed at everything I did, and made a huge mess by "spilling" hot sauce and water all over the floor. After they left, I was tipped eleven cents. FML

#12209813
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40601) - you deserved it (3126)

On 07/30/2010 at 4:00pm - work - by MLZ (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. Not an hour later, I walked in on my sister giving him a handjob in her room. And what's worse, my first reaction was just to wonder why he'd bother cheating on me for just a handjob. FML

#21358057
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39765) - you deserved it (3126)

On 02/17/2015 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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