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Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML

#4463
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58991) - you deserved it (2676)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Jack - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML

#17448755
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30810) - you deserved it (2676)

On 08/12/2011 at 9:14am - kids - by LuckySperm (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML

#20472335
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39655) - you deserved it (2676)

On 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm - misc - by daddy's girl - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I left on my honeymoon with my wife who is terrified of flying. The pilot announces incoming storms in the flight path, and the man next to me starts saying it's "probably fate" and "we all have to go sometime" and my wife goes into a full panic attack. We haven't even left the ground yet. FML

#5167326
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37376) - you deserved it (2675)

On 09/10/2009 at 11:58am - misc - by siggit - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on web cam to my girlfriend who was naked. She turned the web cam to point to the screen for a second and she was also on web cam with another guy. FML

#6151203
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23145) - you deserved it (2675)

On 11/04/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by angry (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my mother asked me to drill a hole in one of the studs in her ceiling. Finding it a little odd, I asked her about it. It turns out she's installing the sex swing her boyfriend bought her, and I got to help. FML

#14071239
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27768) - you deserved it (2675)

On 12/03/2010 at 12:12pm - intimacy - by Trey Deluna - United States (Colorado)

Today, I finished and turned in the last of the seventeen major projects for the company I work for. As I was walking out of my bosses office, I hear her ask her assistant "She finished everything we didn't want to do, can we fire her now?" FML

#15356107
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35155) - you deserved it (2675)

On 03/17/2011 at 7:37pm - work - by inpuredeceit (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my violent housemate qualified for a gun license. She picks up her bolt-action rifle on Wednesday. FML

#17863556
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25832) - you deserved it (2675)

On 09/29/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by Help. (woman) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull)

Today, it was my first day in Paris. I've been saving up for five years. It was a rainy day, but I was determined to go see the Eiffel Tower. On my way, I fell down a slippery set of stairs and knocked both of my front teeth out. Now, I have the view of the Eiffel Tower from my hospital window. FML

#20124910
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25820) - you deserved it (2675)

On 10/20/2012 at 3:06am - health - by parisklutz (woman) - France (Lorraine)

Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML

#20163953
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30588) - you deserved it (2675)

On 11/15/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by WentInABush (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I noticed my dog chewing on something while on the couch. It looked like a wash rag of some sort, so I grabbed it from my dog. It wasn't until after I picked it up that I noticed it wasn't a wash rag. It was a small, dead bird. FML

#20527319
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25663) - you deserved it (2675)

On 03/01/2013 at 7:54pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML

#20830800
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41694) - you deserved it (2675)

On 08/10/2013 at 2:41pm - work - by his word vs mine = me suspended (woman) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, I was flying home to Milwaukee after a weekend in South Carolina. When I got to the airport, my reservation didn't match up with any flights. Turns out Expedia booked me on a flight that doen't exist. I spent ten hours waiting in the airport for a two hour flight. FML

#2958799
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36587) - you deserved it (2674)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:02am - misc - by lojo (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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