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Today, I went to the movies. Two teenagers behind me had already seen the picture once and shared the entire plot with their friend during first 10 minutes. The finale was intended to be a great twist and I knew it from the very beginning. FML

#13994569
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27721) - you deserved it (2985)

On 11/27/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by nanuka_g - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that the woman from My Strange Addiction who can't stop picking her scabs is married. I've been single for two years and I don't even pick my nose. FML

#20179069
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19231) - you deserved it (2985)

On 11/25/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by Sam (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I stepped outside the house with my wife. She looked up at the sky and asked me in all seriousness if stars are man-made. FML

#20156290
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19332) - you deserved it (2985)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by baby, baby no (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my boss and I had to come up with a code to call if a person acts inappropriately towards me because I "attract too many weirdos." FML

#20529995
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29235) - you deserved it (2985)

On 03/03/2013 at 8:17pm - work - by smokeysarah94 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I watched from my office window as a couple maneuvered their car to squash a dead pigeon flat on the road. I then watched as they got out of the car, set up tripods and started taking photos of it. FML

Today, I was elected to learn how to clean the birthing tub at the hospital I work at. Today, I also discovered that while blood doesn't bother me, floating chunks of afterbirth and god knows what else, will cause me to projectile vomit into said tub. Which I still had to clean afterwards. FML

#21304749
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31058) - you deserved it (2985)

On 11/23/2014 at 8:59pm - work - by StomachofTinfoil (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I went to a club to celebrate New Year's Eve. A cute guy came up to me at the bar and asked my name. I thought my 8 year long dry spell was finally about to end. I smiled and said "Chrissy!" He said "That's a whore's name!" and wandered back off into the crowd. FML

#21327860
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31615) - you deserved it (2985)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:39pm - love - by cakestar9 (woman) - Ireland (Clare)

Today, I was using my fiancé's phone to look up movie times for us. In the internet browser, I found history of him looking on Craigslist for "discreet intimate relationships with women" in our city. We are expecting our little boy in two months. FML

#8948216
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34944) - you deserved it (2984)

On 03/09/2010 at 4:13pm - love - by Teeny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I accidentally dropped a sculpture at college, and it broke. Some weirdo wearing a pink cape and a fake moustache bitched me out and told me not to be such an attention-seeking drama queen. FML

#19026244
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23814) - you deserved it (2984)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my four roommates and I contracted lice. While all our heads were slathered in mayonnaise and saran wrap, our building's fire alarm went off. FML

#20103879
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21306) - you deserved it (2985)

On 10/06/2012 at 3:28am - health - by EastOneTen - United States

Today, my mother requested that I return the $500 she had previously given me to help me pay for college. Her reasoning? "You work three jobs, you can afford it." I work three jobs because she decided buying herself a car was more important than my schooling. FML

Today, I had a 5 hour exam. The exam guard had clearly eaten something funky, because she kept burping loudly. When I thought it couldn't get any worse, she started farting. FML

Today, my Canadian friend is staying a few days at my parents' house. I drove him from the airport, only to find my idiot dad had decked the spare room out with maple syrup bottles. He keeps saying "eh" all the time and asked "What's he so upset aboot?" when my friend was offended. FML

#21316775
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31058) - you deserved it (2984)

On 12/13/2014 at 1:36pm - misc - by ehxtraordinarily pissed (man) - United States (Oklahoma)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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