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Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

#19072659
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34451) - you deserved it (2621)

On 02/14/2012 at 9:29am - love - by Illinoisgirl - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

#20452458
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31087) - you deserved it (2621)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States

Today, my parents told me that I'm no longer allowed to come home from boarding school on weekends because it will confuse my cats and disrupt their lives. FML

#20519879
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40369) - you deserved it (2621)

On 02/24/2013 at 6:17am - animals - by incendiaaa (woman) - Australia

Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. Due to the drugs they gave me I felt nauseous. When I went to the bathroom as a precaution I did not throw up. Instead I passed out face first in the toilet. FML

#1847078
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42106) - you deserved it (2620)

On 05/11/2009 at 4:37pm - health - by anon (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my family and I drove to a mall an hour away. We split up, and I went into a store by myself. A little later, I get a call from my brother asking me where I am. They had already left to go home and didn't notice me missing from the car. They were already halfway home. FML

#1368223
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54455) - you deserved it (2620)

On 04/26/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by chippuh (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss had to leave the house for a little while. She asked me to take any messages she got. I answered the phone and lady calling said she was returning her call about the opening for a nanny position. I am the current nanny. I found out I am being fired by the new nanny. FML

#260978
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56771) - you deserved it (2620)

On 03/10/2009 at 2:52pm - work - by nannynomore (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after being turned away by nearly all the restaurants in the area, I tried applying at Burger King. They too turned me away. I have a Culinary School Degree. FML

#6328557
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29221) - you deserved it (2620)

On 11/16/2009 at 4:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend came to my workplace and presented me with a lock of his hair. His pubic hair that he'd just cut. FML

#8507226
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19895) - you deserved it (2620)

On 02/21/2010 at 3:32am - intimacy - by emih (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's my birthday, and the only person that called me was my boss. He wants me to cover his shift tonight. FML

#13448275
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30909) - you deserved it (2620)

On 10/14/2010 at 6:10pm - work - by unloved - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML

#14136075
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33843) - you deserved it (2620)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:26pm - work - by grossedout (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I called my mom for her birthday. She started talking about an infomercial she'd seen for a combo bidet-and-dryer, and how she would like to get one so she can feel "fresh down there" without worrying about getting bits of toilet paper on her nether regions. I can't un-hear this. FML

#13415843
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23813) - you deserved it (2620)

On 10/12/2010 at 1:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I discovered the true meaning of being scared shitless. My father in a clown costume emerged from my closet. Needless to say something emerged from me. FML

Today, I found out that the lump in my wrist that keeps getting inflamed and sore is caused by sketching and using my laptop too much. Good thing I'm in my fourth year of studying to become a designer. FML

#20546879
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29724) - you deserved it (2620)

On 03/16/2013 at 11:08pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)



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  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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