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Today, I overheard my mother Skyping with her new "boyfriend" about the $1,000 she just sent him. She barely knew what internet dating was three weeks ago. FML

by weneedthatmoneytoliveon / 06/26/2013 at 10:08am / Australia (Victoria) / Money

Today, I got a message from my teacher about my homework. We were supposed to write an original myth explaining a natural event. My teacher bumped my grade for it down to a C for copying a myth that already exists. My myth was based on an original story I've been writing for two years. FML

by WritesTooWell / 09/05/2013 at 7:27pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I returned home from college and saw a framed picture of my parents and my younger sister on an elephant in an exotic jungle. I pointed to the picture and asked my mom, "Is this some photoshop job?" She responded, "No, we went to Thailand for a family trip, didn't we tell you?" FML

by OutoftheLoop / 02/20/2009 at 4:24am / China (Beijing) / Miscellaneous

Today, while taking a shower in the dorm bathroom, my roommate thought it would be funny to steal my towel, robe, and key. I spent over an hour waiting for someone to come into the bathroom so I could ask them to bring me something to cover up. FML

by issy / 09/21/2009 at 1:31am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I visited my vacation cabin. I've been planning to sell it, and it was in perfect condition when I last visited about 6 months ago. I walked in the door to find the floor covered in muddy pawprints and bloody remainders of meals. It appears some bears moved in during my absence. FML

by screwthewilderness / 10/04/2010 at 2:46am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, he asked which girl I'd found out about. FML

by Sara246 / 08/19/2010 at 7:11pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML

by Username / 01/20/2011 at 10:55pm / Health

Today, my mother told my little sister and me that she has breast cancer to make us feel sorry so that we would clean our rooms. She is perfectly fine. My little sister still thinks that "mommy is going to die". FML

by anonymous / 06/21/2011 at 7:51pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my wife tried to refill the windshield wiper fluid on her own. However, she poured it where the oil goes. Now the car is having major issues. Last week I lost my job, and I have no idea how much this is going to cost to fix. FML

by BadTime / 08/30/2011 at 5:35am / United States (Colorado) / Money

Today, my boyfriend decided he is going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML

by types / 03/02/2012 at 10:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad still refuses to repay the loan I gave him. I've just barely managed to pay my bills, and I'm now so poor that I'll have to survive the next 3 days until my next paycheck by eating the only thing left in my fridge: a jar of cheese whiz. FML

by janused / 02/18/2015 at 12:17pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Money

Today, the boy I like finally acknowledged me. He came up to me and uttered two words: "Nice pooper." FML

by shygurl434 / 03/15/2010 at 5:14am / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that even though my sister and I are identical twins, I'm known as "The ugly one". FML

by 5minsolder / 02/07/2011 at 8:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous