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Today, a drunken guest in the hotel I work at has barricaded himself in the employee restroom and refuses to come out, unless I "promise to love him forever." It's 4am and I'm the only one here. FML

Today, I've spent far too long on hold to Apple customer support. Unfortunately the only thing to come from it is I now have "Call me maybe" stuck in my head. FML

#21325140
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24824) - you deserved it (2955)

On 12/27/2014 at 5:12am - misc - by still on hol - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I confiscated a 1st grader's cell phone. It was better than anything I could come close to affording. FML

#21256659
154 comments

Today, my friend started choking while at a Hard Rock Cafe. I jumped up and tried to give her the Heimlich maneuver, only for her to throw up all over the table and stagger out of the place. I stood there as the waiter asked if I wanted to split the bill. FML

Today, I finally found out why my husband is always so eager and happy to buy me whatever I am craving during my pregnancy. It's because it gives him an excuse to meet up with his mistress and have a quickie. FML

#21294259
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53875) - you deserved it (2955)

On 11/07/2014 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I found out that after working in the same office for five years, I now work with three of my husband's ex-girlfriends. FML

#11366988
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30956) - you deserved it (2954)

On 06/21/2010 at 10:12pm - work - by lilrudegirl - Sent from mobile version

Today, my email got hacked and sent all my contacts something for Viagra. My husband thinks I really sent it to him on purpose and now won't even talk to me. FML

#12899582
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27056) - you deserved it (2954)

On 09/04/2010 at 9:24am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had a date with a woman. She brought her dog along. Every time when I touched her, the jealous male dog began to bark and tried to bite me. FML

#19253707
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24534) - you deserved it (2954)

On 03/10/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by Jimii Liu (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a woman approached me in the street and slapped me, ranting about how I stole her man. I don't even know her man, or her, and I live over a thousand miles away in Scotland. I'm back in town for the first time since my childhood to attend a wedding. FML

#20661106
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47301) - you deserved it (2954)

On 05/13/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by culodegrillo (woman) - Spain

Today, I found out that shirt sizes don't get longer, they get wider. Being 6ft4, every shirt I try on makes me look like a cheap stripper. FML

#20954733
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40768) - you deserved it (2954)

On 11/12/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by Pongy (man) -

Today, after a few weeks of my dad setting up glue traps in the garage to trap mice, I found out what it's like to have a pigeon wander in and get its foot stuck on one. FML

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. In order to make a good impression I was as polite as possible and tried to be as engaging as I could. Near the end of dinner my girlfriend's mom says, "I liked your old boyfriend better." FML

#785377
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57110) - you deserved it (2953)

On 04/03/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by str3tch - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while I was removing my makeup with my boyfriend watching, he mentioned that he used to think girls were prettier without makeup on, but he'd now changed his mind. FML

#20187008
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26634) - you deserved it (2953)

On 12/01/2012 at 6:54pm - love - by allbrokeup (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)



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