Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML

#3500742
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43289) - you deserved it (2952)

On 07/05/2009 at 8:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at my grandparent's funeral, we were waiting for the pastor. He was fashionably late because he couldn't find his sunglasses and had gone to buy new ones. FML

#21194487
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39479) - you deserved it (2952)

On 06/30/2014 at 11:59pm - misc - by too cool (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came home at noon from a long night out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and heels. As I walked up to the door and knocked to be let in, the woman whipped around and I figured out who it was. My dad. FML

#4276253
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50359) - you deserved it (2951)

On 08/04/2009 at 4:40am - misc - by superfiedman (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was at a party. Everyone was drunk, and I happened to overhear someone say, "Where's that guy in the black jacket? I'm going to beat his ass!" I wouldn't have thought anything of it, had I not been the only one wearing a black jacket. FML

#20433319
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24548) - you deserved it (2951)

On 12/31/2012 at 1:46am - misc - by bpruitt95 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, a customer broke my nose for refusing to give him a discount because the product he was buying had a fine layer of dust on the box. FML

#20736654
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42152) - you deserved it (2951)

On 06/20/2013 at 2:32am - work - by Whytetrash - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my friends are going to see "The Social Network". They talked about it all through dinner, even though I was sitting right there and I hadn't been invited. When I asked about it, one of them said, "You wouldn't be interested", presumably because I don't use Facebook. He doesn't either. FML

#13281486
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21997) - you deserved it (2950)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a gift. A half-used bottle of body lotion that belonged to his dead wife. FML

#17741306
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31619) - you deserved it (2950)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:12am - love - by ppp - United States

Today, a woman called the store I work for. When she found out it was a wrong number, she started to cry and asked me to stay on the line with her, talking about her dead husband and how she hasn't laughed in years. FML

Today, my mother kicked me out of the house because her new boyfriend needs my room. Evidently he also needs my credit card, passport, and wallet too, because she kept all three, while tossing everything else out on the lawn. FML

#21234023
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46601) - you deserved it (2950)

On 08/10/2014 at 1:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, my date sent me a text saying "I'm sorry we're running late, we will be there shortly." I replied asking what she meant by "we". She said her parents, who were coming along to chaperone. I laughed about two 27 year olds having chaperones, until she walked in with her parents. FML

#6258074
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34534) - you deserved it (2949)

On 11/11/2009 at 1:53pm - love - by Tragics (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my dad gave me a football signed by my favourite football player. It would've been great, except that I saw my dad sign it in front of me. The worst part is that he denies doing it. FML

#13230850
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27556) - you deserved it (2949)

On 09/28/2010 at 12:40am - misc - by bibobobonnor (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my father in law drunkenly announced at dinner that he wished my husband had married my best friend. No one stuck up for me. Not even my husband. FML

#17715893
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36830) - you deserved it (2949)

On 09/11/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dad decided that he shouldn't have to wear clothes in the privacy of his own home. FML

#18724307
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27823) - you deserved it (2949)

On 01/06/2012 at 6:25am - misc - by Anna (woman) - United States



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: