Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I have to go on a 7-hour-bus ride sitting beside my ex-boyfriend's mother. We broke up because she told him to. FML

#20912397
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45933) - you deserved it (2908)

On 10/08/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at school, everybody wanted to be my partner for a project. This surprised me because nobody ever wants to be with me. Turns out when I was absent, my teacher promised that whoever was my partner would get extra points on the project. FML

#12990617
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34311) - you deserved it (2907)

On 09/10/2010 at 2:09pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, at work, I was told I was a failure. Feeling like crap, I went to my best friend to see if he could make me laugh. He told me that he felt obligated to hang out with me, so he thought that we shouldn't anymore. FML

#14847489
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24411) - you deserved it (2907)

On 02/05/2011 at 12:58am - misc - by ohhhjaymo13 - United States

Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML

#20012686
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22643) - you deserved it (2907)

On 08/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by banana2894 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was cleaning up litter from the street, when a guy asked who I work for. I said nobody and that I was just doing some community service. Before I could clarify that it was voluntary community service, he called me a "piece of shit delinquent", spat on me, and walked off. FML

#20898099
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39902) - you deserved it (2907)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:01pm - misc - by sigh (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mother told her friends that I work as a call girl. I'm a call center agent. FML

#20989169
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37056) - you deserved it (2907)

On 12/11/2013 at 5:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Luxembourg

Today, my roommate asked for my opinion of her new painting. The same painting I hand-painted for over ten hours. She apparently thought it was a gift. She won't give it back. FML

#21251580
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37107) - you deserved it (2907)

On 09/04/2014 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was trying to clean the belt of my register at work at a grocery store. I noticed two strips of rubber stuck in the corner of the belt, and after pulling on them periodically all morning one finally came loose. It was a foot. I had been pulling at a dead rat trapped in the belt. FML

#3675667
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45909) - you deserved it (2906)

On 07/11/2009 at 8:33pm - work - by cashier (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my future father in law motorboated my breasts as I bent down to give him a hug goodbye. The rest of the family stood there laughing. This is what I'm marrying into? FML

#6665915
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22765) - you deserved it (2906)

On 12/08/2009 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by umm - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML

#18553148
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24347) - you deserved it (2906)

On 12/19/2011 at 1:01pm - misc - by This girl (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I wandered around my property with my children, trying to find our escaped house cat. While in the more wooded parts, we spotted her on the ground, being picked over by a coyote. FML

#18795812
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37174) - you deserved it (2906)

On 01/13/2012 at 1:57pm - animals - by Jeslyn03 - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML

#19440053
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25214) - you deserved it (2906)

On 04/09/2012 at 10:51pm - health - by emoflowers - United States (Texas)

Today, the girl I've had a crush on decided she wanted to see a movie with me. I tried to hold her hand during the movie and it was great for about 4 minutes. Then she said "Can I have my hand back?" FML

#1552
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20098) - you deserved it (2906)

On 01/18/2009 at 7:12am - love - by vargasm - United States (New York)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: