Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend told me that the necklace I gave her wasn't a "unique enough gift." I spent two weeks making that necklace, link by link. FML

#21257946
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42270) - you deserved it (2731)

On 09/14/2014 at 8:53am - love - by NoConfusion (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a customer wandering around, looking confused. I went over and kindly asked if I could help him find anything. He said no, but that he'd help me find the teeth he'd knock out of my mouth if I didn't get lost. FML

#21248418
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34300) - you deserved it (2731)

On 08/30/2014 at 11:14am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was leaning under a counter to get my girlfriend her favorite snack food out of a low cabinet when she decided it would be funny to poke me while I was in an awkward position. I jerked up, rammed my head on the bottom of the counter, and ended up at the ER with staples in my head. FML

#2907307
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42698) - you deserved it (2730)

On 06/15/2009 at 7:40am - misc - by bronzemedal97 (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I found out I'm balding faster than my dad. I'm 19. FML

#3768794
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51616) - you deserved it (2730)

On 07/15/2009 at 4:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a lovely little surprise after I got out of the shower. That lovely little surprise? I got stung in the scrotum by a hornet that had decided to nestle itself inside the towel I was drying off with. FML

#4256905
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51851) - you deserved it (2730)

On 08/03/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Tyler (man) - United States

Today, my brother had a party with over 60 people in my basement. It turns out that five different couples had sex under the same comforter. The comforter was mine. FML

#19923012
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31323) - you deserved it (2730)

On 07/11/2012 at 9:29am - intimacy - by Sherry - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out through his Facebook update and a text message that my fiancé demoted me to girlfriend status. I was sitting in the next room. FML

#20547323
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30545) - you deserved it (2730)

On 03/17/2013 at 6:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while training a new employee, I had to run after a naked guy chasing a hooker at the hotel I work at. I made him go back to his room, while she offered me a good time for 300 bucks. The trainee left and hasn't come back yet. FML

#20849812
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38509) - you deserved it (2730)

On 08/22/2013 at 7:50pm - work - by Awkward - United States

Today, I was on the bus when my crush told me to come and sit with him. I got all excited, especially when he put his arm around me. He then whispered in my ear "Hey, is your friend over there single?" FML

#2761787
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46612) - you deserved it (2729)

On 06/09/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by vishurricanes (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband of five years told me he's leaving me and will be gone when I return from Iraq. When I told him I love him and asked him not to go, he said he won't file divorce papers just yet, but he's moving out-of-state because "we need time apart." I've been gone for most of the year. FML

#5603629
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41119) - you deserved it (2729)

On 10/02/2009 at 12:47pm - love - by everyonesdivorced (woman) - Iraq (Baghdad)

Today, I woke up with a fever and a migraine. I work at an audiology clinic and my day consists of being shouted at down the phone by practically deaf people. FML

#15735853
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25200) - you deserved it (2729)

On 04/11/2011 at 2:23am - work - by owmyhead (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, a girl came into my salon to permanently straighten her really long and curly hair. After several long hours, I went to the counter to charge her. She ran out faster than an Olympic runner. FML

#17473722
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36851) - you deserved it (2729)

On 08/14/2011 at 8:47pm - work - by theultimatesalonfail - United States

Today, it transpired that my mom has been spending her stint in prison trying to play matchmaker for me, going so far as to call one of her finds, "good breeding stock". Apparently, I don't already have enough criminals in my life; last September I was the only member of my family of 5 not locked up. FML



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: