Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother got remarried. I am now officially older than my step-father. FML

#13646131
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45204) - you deserved it (2706)

On 10/30/2010 at 2:33am - love - by Stephie2009 - United States

Today, I went to visit my grandpa. He has an easily excited dog, who barreled into my freshly broken knee. I felt my knee move out of place again. The dog chipped a tooth. We went to the vet first. FML

#17988590
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32292) - you deserved it (2706)

On 10/15/2011 at 10:02am - health - by KilteDKilleR - United States (Utah)

Today, my girlfriend whom I'm crazy about broke up with me out of the blue. After pleading with her unsuccessfully, I called my mom for comfort and advice. She informed me that my dog had died. FML

#14461663
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39294) - you deserved it (2705)

On 01/04/2011 at 9:49am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I went to the movies. I was seated next to a woman who talked through the film and said: "Awwww" every time she saw a primate. I went to see 'Rise of Planet of the Apes'. FML

#17527301
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32634) - you deserved it (2705)

On 08/20/2011 at 5:54am - misc - by RensM (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my license to carry a gun expired because my manager forgot to renew it. As I'm an armored car guard, this is a problem. In order to keep getting hours, my company transferred me to the coin vault. I just finished moving 15000 lbs of boxed coins. By hand. I'm stuck doing this for a month. FML

Today, after an extensive talk with a relationship counselor, we concluded that I'm more likely to get run over by a car than be in a stable relationship. FML

#20397555
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20909) - you deserved it (2705)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:01am - love - by Hit-and-Run - Mexico (Chihuahua)

Today, my fiancée broke up with me over text message while I was away for work. She later posted photos of her and her new boyfriend on Facebook, while still wearing my engagement ring. FML

#20972059
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51014) - you deserved it (2705)

On 11/27/2013 at 12:51am - love - by grantsidiots - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was working with the kid I babysit for. We were out and he complained that he was hungry. I spent my very last $2 on chicken nuggets for him and a coffee for myself. Just as I sat down, he knocked over my coffee, spilling it into his chicken nuggets. Then he cried for over an hour. FML

#7312861
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28481) - you deserved it (2704)

On 01/13/2010 at 12:29am - kids - by bern5555 (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML

#8680968
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22148) - you deserved it (2704)

On 02/27/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came to the realisation that the longest relationship I've had by far is the one I have with my hemorrhoids. FML

#19694480
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15798) - you deserved it (2704)

On 05/28/2012 at 5:17pm - health - by Phil (man) - Canada

Today, the drummer of my band briefly mentioned something about not being allowed into the United States, just as he left our last practice before our big tour in America. FML

Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML

#20540639
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29885) - you deserved it (2704)

On 03/12/2013 at 10:05am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I got fired from my job at an age care facility because I was too nice to my residents. My boss told me "They're deaf, blind and about to jump head first into the grave. We don't pay you to be kind." FML

#20842873
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48565) - you deserved it (2704)

On 08/18/2013 at 7:43am - work - by sweet23 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: