Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother, who religiously checks her bank account after every purchase, then shreds her receipts, got fed up with me not doing the same. So she shredded all my piled up receipts. These include the 100s of dollars I had spent for my work, which I need the receipts to get reimbursed for. FML

#5745365
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40913) - you deserved it (2986)

On 10/09/2009 at 7:22pm - money - by poorman (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was in the middle of having sex with my girlfriend. I told her that I loved her. She asked me how much wind-shield wiper blades cost. FML

#7296803
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19845) - you deserved it (2986)

On 01/12/2010 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Upbrakie - United States

Today, I found out the memory card our engagement photos were taken on has been corrupted, so all the images are lost. The guy who took the pictures said that this has never happened to him in the eight years that he's been a photographer. FML

Today, I found out that the woman from My Strange Addiction who can't stop picking her scabs is married. I've been single for two years and I don't even pick my nose. FML

#20179069
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19232) - you deserved it (2986)

On 11/25/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by Sam (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML

#20180296
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24762) - you deserved it (2986)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:41pm - love - by imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Being a chef of a highly-rated restaurant, I cooked a well-liked dish. Not only did she say no, but commented on how bland and tasteless the meal was. FML

#21311702
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34576) - you deserved it (2986)

On 12/04/2014 at 10:33pm - love - by Sad Chef ;( - United States

Today, I got a gift-wrapped package in the mail from my racist mother-in-law. She's always hated me, so I thought it was a bit strange. Inside was a squirt gun and a note telling me to take my "black ass" for a walk around a police station with it, followed with a smiley face. FML

#21325871
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40309) - you deserved it (2986)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking to my mom about who I wanted to ask to prom. I told her the names of the girls I was thinking of asking and she replied, "They'll say no, but you can always go with one of your cousins." FML

#252783
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60149) - you deserved it (2985)

On 03/09/2009 at 5:02pm - misc - by Tony (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45864) - you deserved it (2985)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after being "pressured" into a relationship with another guy. But it's okay, she said she would think of me every time she made love to him. FML

#13442740
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37086) - you deserved it (2985)

On 10/14/2010 at 4:24am - intimacy - by tman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the movies. Two teenagers behind me had already seen the picture once and shared the entire plot with their friend during first 10 minutes. The finale was intended to be a great twist and I knew it from the very beginning. FML

#13994569
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27722) - you deserved it (2985)

On 11/27/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by nanuka_g - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I stepped outside the house with my wife. She looked up at the sky and asked me in all seriousness if stars are man-made. FML

#20156290
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19332) - you deserved it (2985)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by baby, baby no (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my boss and I had to come up with a code to call if a person acts inappropriately towards me because I "attract too many weirdos." FML

#20529995
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29234) - you deserved it (2985)

On 03/03/2013 at 8:17pm - work - by smokeysarah94 - Canada (Ontario)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: