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Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML

#19594950
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35855) - you deserved it (3433)

On 05/08/2012 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by laury - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion, I was terribly emasculated, publicly, for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML

#20458802
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35734) - you deserved it (3433)

On 01/14/2013 at 10:47am - misc - by badenoughflowers - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter found out what happens when my husband watches Mythbusters and doesn't heed the disclaimer to "Not try this at home." He feels bad about her cut face, but says he's proud he can throw a playing card that hard. FML

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended like it never happened. FML

Today, after weeks of my girlfriend constantly mentioning pegging and asking me to let her do it, I caved and figured I might as well stand by my "try anything once" rule. Her response? Saying she knew I was gay all along and dumping me. The fuck? FML

#21470529
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27892) - you deserved it (3433)

On 09/20/2015 at 9:44am - intimacy - by no I've never asked for anal (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a basketball game against our rivals. Since the starting guard had a broken ankle, I felt happy that I could finally get playing time and prove that I'm good. Instead I had to run the scoreboard for the game, because the scoreboard guy was absent. FML

#3573001
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40971) - you deserved it (3432)

On 07/08/2009 at 1:49am - misc - by Benchthewarmer (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML

#18368506
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25741) - you deserved it (3432)

On 11/27/2011 at 5:46pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

#6207441
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34135) - you deserved it (3431)

On 11/08/2009 at 2:26am - animals - by birdbath (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I finally had enough money to buy my girlfriend an engagement ring, which I was going to pick up after work. On my way to work, I slid on the ice and crashed into a parked vehicle. The damage to my car is almost twice the amount of the ring. FML

#6536864
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35945) - you deserved it (3431)

On 11/30/2009 at 6:24pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I discovered my boyfriend has a thing for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant though, my roommate is. FML

#10629274
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38411) - you deserved it (3431)

On 05/19/2010 at 4:19pm - love - by Amy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML

#20675025
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50620) - you deserved it (3431)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:57am - kids - by AuntPeePee - United States

Today, I was walking down the street when a man stole my purse. He then opened the purse, threw up in it, and gave it back. FML

#20852114
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47675) - you deserved it (3431)

On 08/24/2013 at 10:55am - misc - by cassidy_smith12 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I logged onto facebook to realize that my boyfriend is now listed as single. News to me. FML

#13746
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46825) - you deserved it (3430)

On 02/07/2009 at 6:04pm - misc - by klv8 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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