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Today, while walking home I was jumped by two guys, one of whom shouted, "You shouldn't have run your mouth off, Rick!" My name is John. Only after they repeatedly axe-kicked me in the chest did they realize their mistake. It now hurts to breathe. FML

#16838939
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39214) - you deserved it (2823)

On 06/24/2011 at 7:58pm - misc - by John - United States (California)

Today, I met my new roommate. She severely struggled with pronouncing my name, and decided that to save time and the effort, she's just going to call me what she thinks my name sounds like: Lube. FML

#17379183
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22997) - you deserved it (2823)

On 08/05/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was the only employee at a video store where I work when it got robbed. After crying, shaking and spending two hours and dealing with the police, my boss called and told me it was good experience and I would know what to do next time, then made me finish my shift, the night shift, alone. FML

#6550040
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38569) - you deserved it (2822)

On 12/01/2009 at 11:17am - work - by HP_22 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to pull cheese out of my PS3's disc tray because my younger brother assumed all PS3's could grill stuff because "Youtube told him." FML

#7315075
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29779) - you deserved it (2822)

On 01/13/2010 at 3:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my roommate woke me up during afternoon nap to tell me that I need to move out. His reason: "Our political differences will likely escalate to violence." FML

#12842541
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23531) - you deserved it (2822)

On 08/31/2010 at 7:13pm - misc - by NowHomeless (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, someone posted online a listing for a bicycle for sale, and accidentally put my phone number instead of their own. I have received more calls in one day than I have from friends and family in a week. FML

#14574802
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20137) - you deserved it (2822)

On 01/14/2011 at 3:37am - misc - by wrongnumber (woman) - United States

Today, my roommates thought I wasn't home and started talking about me. Apparently I'm a lesbian, devil worshiper, and an alcoholic. I didn't know my life was so fascinating. FML

#17964342
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30471) - you deserved it (2822)

On 10/11/2011 at 11:34pm - misc - by FroggyGirl888 - United States

Today, I found out that all the things I've lent to my best friend over the last few years that have never been returned were actually pawned off so she could pay her cable bill. FML

#19395452
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22541) - you deserved it (2822)

On 04/02/2012 at 2:44pm - money - by Kelly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, for the second time, I met the man I'm having an arranged marriage with in 3 months. I'd previously met him last night, while he was mugging me. FML

#20120711
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38467) - you deserved it (2822)

On 10/17/2012 at 6:15am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML

#20164794
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24373) - you deserved it (2822)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by needanewride - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was maced. Not by a person, but rather by one of those automatic air fresheners in the bathroom. It was conveniently placed at eye level, you know, for freshness. FML

#20921961
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39268) - you deserved it (2822)

On 10/15/2013 at 8:38pm - health - by erockinthesuburb (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was in a music shop looking for a new guitar when someone called out someone else's name and jumped on my back. I lost balance and fell forward and broke 3 guitars and damaged another 6. The guy said "Sorry, thought you were someone else" and ran out. I now have to pay £2500. FML

#3741776
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61643) - you deserved it (2821)

On 07/14/2009 at 9:39am - money - by SomeoneElse (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I checked my university financial account to discover I owed them over $1000. The reason? They had apparently given me too much money when I applied for a loan and now want it back. Oh, and I spent my loan money on books and a laptop for school. FML

#7604167
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23826) - you deserved it (2821)

On 01/27/2010 at 12:25am - money - by boned (woman) - United States (Utah)



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