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Today, when my mother-in-law told me I was losing weight, my husband started laughing. FML

#18430491
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26608) - you deserved it (3102)

On 12/04/2011 at 8:13pm - love - by brittrod - United States

Today, my husband woke up, rolled over, and said, "Good morning, beautiful." He hasn't called me that in months, but as I was about to reply, I realized he was talking to his pet turtle, not me. FML

#20549421
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38062) - you deserved it (3102)

On 03/18/2013 at 3:38pm - love - by Maggie - United States

Today, I went to a coworker's wedding. Instead of getting to celebrate their marriage, we spent most of the service being lectured by the priest on how women are a freak by-product of "God's masterpiece design" and are the cause of all the world's problems. FML

#21233096
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36150) - you deserved it (3102)

On 08/09/2014 at 4:56am - misc - by Anonymous - Malawi

Today, my Canadian friend is staying a few days at my parents' house. I drove him from the airport, only to find my idiot dad had decked the spare room out with maple syrup bottles. He keeps saying "eh" all the time and asked "What's he so upset aboot?" when my friend was offended. FML

#21316775
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31986) - you deserved it (3102)

On 12/13/2014 at 1:36pm - misc - by ehxtraordinarily pissed (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML

#21402984
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27798) - you deserved it (3102)

On 05/01/2015 at 4:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I attended my first meeting with my bosses. For lunch we went to a restaurant. I choked on a piece of meat and couldn't breathe anymore. I had to take that piece of meat out of my throat with my fingers, and then put it back on my plate all chewed up. FML

#453
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22567) - you deserved it (3101)

On 12/05/2008 at 7:49am - work - by Macdaddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was training for my new job at a restaurant. As part of training, they give you free food so you know what to reccommend, and the dish I got was really good. Eight hours later I saw it again while I was puking; I got food poisoning from my own place of work. FML

#914179
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50019) - you deserved it (3101)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12pm - work - by newhostess (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, the fire alarm went off in my dorm. Not only was it 30 degrees outside, but I was in the shower. FML

#15817809
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31870) - you deserved it (3101)

On 04/17/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by wellhellothere (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, in the senior class I teach, I asked my students who had traveled outside of the country, excluding Canada and Mexico. One student raised his hand and proudly stated, "Arizona". He wants to be a doctor. FML

#17980491
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28760) - you deserved it (3101)

On 10/14/2011 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML

#20109154
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26727) - you deserved it (3101)

On 10/09/2012 at 2:43pm - love - by FarmerGirl - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boss called me over to his office; he wanted me to fire four hardworking employees. One of them was the girl I was going to ask out. FML

#20447887
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38871) - you deserved it (3101)

On 01/08/2013 at 11:40am - work - by AnonUser464 (man) - United States

Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML

#21414342
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25842) - you deserved it (3101)

On 05/23/2015 at 7:06am - kids - by DENTALITY (woman) - Norway

Today, after living with my mom for years to save money I finally moved into my first condo. The day after I made my first mortgage payment the sewage system back up and leaked into my bedroom from outside, ruining the carpets and the walls. I have to move back in with my mom until it’s fixed. FML



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