Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was taking out a customer's groceries when he offered me a $5 tip. I told him I couldn't accept, since it's against store policy, but thanked him anyway. He called me an asshole just as my boss was walking to his car, who then yelled at me for it. FML

#20955992
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38863) - you deserved it (2635)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:42am - work - by BagBoy (man) - United States

Today, I was at work, and some people came in looking for a particular couch. After looking for over an hour on the wholesalers website my boss walks over, makes me take my lunch break and then calls over the couple and takes all the credit for the sale. We work on commission. FML

#5267039
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38526) - you deserved it (2634)

On 09/15/2009 at 1:35am - work - by Backseatseller (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was in the middle of enjoying a really good book while in a waiting room. Someone saw what I was reading and thought it would be cool if she leaned over and told me everything that happens. FML

#14067824
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27821) - you deserved it (2634)

On 12/03/2010 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was showing my Mom how to use the Internet on her phone. As there was bad reception, it said "Unexpected Failure." Seeing it, she muttered under her breath, "Just like you, then..." FML

#13937046
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28424) - you deserved it (2634)

On 11/22/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by unexpected_failure (man) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. While he was dumping me, he was holding hands with his new girlfriend. FML

#18011965
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37484) - you deserved it (2634)

On 10/18/2011 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went out in a storm to collect my wheelie bin, which had flown down the street. On the way back to my house, I realised my door had slammed shut and locked behind me. That's okay though, a trampoline decided to smash my window and let me in. FML

Today, my leadership class was trying to decide who would run the kissing booth in our local carnival. Someone suggested me, to which the director replied, "We'd never make any profit with her." FML

#20511433
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30739) - you deserved it (2634)

On 02/17/2013 at 10:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got to explain to my co-worker again why I can't move my "vacation" so she can take hers when she wants. Apparently, in her mind, her seniority at the company trumps my due date. FML

Today, a man walked into the bank I work at and asked what he would need in order to open an account. I had to look him in the eyes with a straight face, say, "Two pieces of identification," and ask him to put some pants on. FML

#20880767
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36543) - you deserved it (2634)

On 09/14/2013 at 11:04am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out why two of my friends race downstairs to each other to the cafeteria everyday at lunch; apparently there's only one free seat at the table with the rest of their friends, and the loser has to eat lunch with me. FML

#6725334
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31693) - you deserved it (2633)

On 12/12/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriends house, in the bathroom. I noticed a pregnancy test in the trash can. He lives alone. FML

#14525789
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35251) - you deserved it (2633)

On 01/09/2011 at 9:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was put on notice at work due to my "anger problem." Apparently, sighing in a meeting means you will be labeled as someone with a short temper. However the creepy stalker guy is on the fast track to management. FML

#17694865
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21249) - you deserved it (2633)

On 09/08/2011 at 4:23am - work - by blue (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I signed the divorce papers my wife gave me. When I went to bed, she was on the phone talking to her new boyfriend. FML

#19131247
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33661) - you deserved it (2633)

On 02/21/2012 at 1:45pm - love - by GeeTwo - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: