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Today, I was at the orthodontist. As the lady was clipping my brackets, she missed and clipped my gums instead. She looked at me and said, "Oh sorry, you're bleeding really badly. See, I got these fake nails put on and I guess I'm just not used to them. Let me try again." She missed. FML

#883158
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75703) - you deserved it (2717)

On 04/09/2009 at 8:33am - misc - by BracesSuck (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend's dad chased me with a baseball bat because he found a pair of my boxers in her room. They were not there because I left them there, they were there because she stole them. FML

#3897377
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45048) - you deserved it (2718)

On 07/20/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by pyrosythan (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my girlfriend's password for okcupid is "i_love_mike". My name is not Mike. FML

#5894
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27918) - you deserved it (2716)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:49am - love - by 751920 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I checked my voicemail. I was really surprised to hear an adorable message from my boyfriend, who was vacationing in Florida. I was even more surprised to hear him having sex with some other girl for the last seven minutes of the message. FML

#3478288
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56771) - you deserved it (2716)

On 07/04/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by hangup (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after spending a great evening with the guy I really like, he dropped me off outside my house. When he pulled into my driveway, his lights shone onto my drunken mum taking the garbage out in nothing but her black panties. FML

#11636469
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33722) - you deserved it (2716)

On 07/03/2010 at 2:57pm - misc - by Emily - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML

#17355075
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25991) - you deserved it (2716)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by doomeddaddy - United States (Ohio)

Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML

#20622462
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52265) - you deserved it (2716)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:20am - love - by sad guy - United States

Today, my coworker asked to borrow my nail clippers so he could take care of a hangnail. He went to the bathroom, which I thought was polite, but when he got back to his desk and returned my clippers, there were little curly hairs stuck inside. He's bald. FML

#6695402
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30919) - you deserved it (2715)

On 12/10/2009 at 3:41pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while at work, I started to feel sick to my stomach, hot, and dizzy. My co-worker told me to go home. On the way through the locker room to get my stuff, I experienced a dizzy spell so severe, I blacked out and pooped myself. No one in the building is going to let me forget this. FML

#12646207
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30130) - you deserved it (2715)

On 08/20/2010 at 2:40pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend actually yelled, "Why are you making this all about YOU?!" after I confronted her over cheating on me. FML

#20681698
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46095) - you deserved it (2715)

On 05/23/2013 at 12:40pm - love - by a single fuck (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I sent a text message to this girl I've been flirting with for a while now saying "How about coffee?". To which she answered "Great idea, I'll go and make myself one right now". FML

#705
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21031) - you deserved it (2714)

On 01/05/2009 at 1:16am - love - by Charly - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend gave me a box of chocolates for Christmas. I thought it was sweet until I noticed the heart drawn on the back. It's the same box of chocolates I gave him for Christmas. Christmas last year. FML

#6933650
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28384) - you deserved it (2714)

On 12/25/2009 at 2:04am - love - by HeSucks (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML

#14752414
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22839) - you deserved it (2714)

On 01/29/2011 at 1:06am - health - by Poopie (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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