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Today, my parents told me that they had joined a local club. Proud of them for going out of their comfort zone to make new friends, I googled the name of the club. I'm sure they'll make some lifelong friends at their first swingers club meet. FML

#20179494
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25458) - you deserved it (2735)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, the battery cables on my car came loose, thus resetting my car's electronics to factory settings. The anti-theft system is now turned on, and I can't start my car with it on. Luckily, it turns off with a remote. The remote broke about six months ago. FML

Today, my girlfriend was sick so I took her 5 year old daughter out to eat. Half-way through our "date" she asks me loudly "Can we go back to the car now and take our clothes off?" Apparently she meant her toy dog's clothes. Face burning, we left a half laughing/half glaring crowd behind. FML

#1962553
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42539) - you deserved it (2734)

On 05/15/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by BigBadTron (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, a guy commented on a picture of my boyfriend and I kissing on facebook, and said to please stop 'testing' him. He also messaged me saying how he wishes he could get a girlfriend like me, that I'm gorgeous, and that he wants to go out with me. I'm his cousin. FML

#8830762
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32100) - you deserved it (2734)

On 03/04/2010 at 8:39pm - love - by Brandee - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my family and I were burning our Christmas tree. For a laugh, my dad jokingly pushed me toward the fire. I tripped, and my doctor says the burns are probably going to scar. FML

#18805376
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39024) - you deserved it (2734)

On 01/14/2012 at 12:32pm - health - by frownyface - United States (Arizona)

Today, I freaked out because of the smell of rotting eggs lingering in my apartment. I soon discovered it was my boyfriend's feet. FML

#19453848
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21497) - you deserved it (2734)

On 04/12/2012 at 1:30am - love - by Kayla (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was with a friend at the mall and I made eye contact and smiled at the worker at a smoothie stand that I went on a date with last year. He saw me, and then ducked down behind the register, where he remained while his coworker awkwardly leaned over him to take my order and money. FML

#19540774
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21961) - you deserved it (2734)

On 04/28/2012 at 2:54am - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML

#20858152
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38736) - you deserved it (2734)

On 08/28/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my new colleagues took me up on my idea of a group night out. Perhaps they'll actually invite me along next time. FML

#20911387
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36599) - you deserved it (2734)

On 10/07/2013 at 6:51pm - work - by Loner_Lou (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my parents brought me an ice cream birthday cake. I would think after 23 years they would remember my lactose intolerance. FML

#14161445
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29046) - you deserved it (2733)

On 12/11/2010 at 1:11am - misc - by ShaunBomb - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got a bad cut on my dominant hand while at work. My boss decided to order me to juice lemons... all 300 of them. FML

#13223944
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29694) - you deserved it (2733)

On 09/27/2010 at 5:06pm - work - by FoxyManicLiar - Sent from mobile version

Today, a guy left flowers on my doorstep. I got home to find my dad claiming he bought them for my mum. I told my parents they were mine, they laughed in my face. FML

#20551968
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33443) - you deserved it (2733)

On 03/20/2013 at 6:59am - love - by lp525252 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I thought I was home alone. Likewise, my visiting grandfather thought he was alone. You can imagine the mutual surprise when I caught him stealing money from my sister's bedroom. FML

#20743925
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45652) - you deserved it (2733)

On 06/24/2013 at 1:38am - money - by pumboc (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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