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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, a car hit me while I was in a crosswalk. The driver jumped out of her car and stepped over me to check her car for damage. FML

#16671124
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38554) - you deserved it (2720)

On 06/15/2011 at 1:07am - health - by Username - United States (California)

Today, my dad yelled for me. It was an emergency. I ran down the stairs, tripped, fell, and limped over to my dad only to find that he wanted me to see a video of someone playing "Bohemian Rhapsody" on the ukulele. FML

#18102267
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22447) - you deserved it (2720)

On 10/29/2011 at 9:40am - misc - by camille - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I kindly asked my crazy roommate to move out. She answered by stuffing raw hamburger meat down all the drains in the apartment. FML

#18260182
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24843) - you deserved it (2720)

On 11/15/2011 at 11:15pm - misc - by ledon (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I was given a wedgie by a complete stranger in a crowded bar. FML

#20492051
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25316) - you deserved it (2720)

On 02/03/2013 at 8:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML

#20960004
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44796) - you deserved it (2720)

On 11/16/2013 at 4:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML

#7143279
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36491) - you deserved it (2719)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:34am - health - by Soresack (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had my eyebrows waxed for my senior pictures. After manhandling me, the cosmetologist managed to "accidentally" take my whole eyebrow off. It looks like I'll be remembered forevermore as the girl with one eyebrow. FML

#19987412
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20129) - you deserved it (2719)

On 07/27/2012 at 1:46pm - misc - by booo - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was coming home from a much-needed vacation. The time I spent on the plane consisted of kids screaming and throwing tantrums. One of them managed to give me a black eye with a shoe. Their mom pretended to be asleep so I'd have to deal with her kids for her. FML

#20626326
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40244) - you deserved it (2719)

On 04/27/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by Satan'sChildren - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had my first date in almost four years. Twenty minutes into our dinner date, I excused myself to use the ladies room. When I came back, not only was he gone, but there was also a security guard waiting to walk me out. I still have no clue why he left or why I got kicked out. FML

#20869864
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45243) - you deserved it (2719)

On 09/06/2013 at 2:42am - love - by thissinglelife (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was fired. After breaking the news, he also broke up with me. Apparently, his boss had a creepy crush on me and would give my boyfriend bonuses for bringing me to company events and, occasionally, out on the boss's personal boat. Looks like I am no longer useful. FML

#4591074
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47539) - you deserved it (2718)

On 08/17/2009 at 1:43am - love - by TrophyGirlfriend (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a local take-away and ordered a pizza. I watched the worker get my pizza out the oven, then wipe the pizza cutter on the trash bin to get rid of the last pizza's toppings, and then cut my pizza. FML

#6904447
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27794) - you deserved it (2718)

On 12/23/2009 at 3:24pm - misc - by extraflavour - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I found out that my sister licks all the flavoring off Doritos and puts them back in the bag. FML

#21252905
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37062) - you deserved it (2718)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:35am - misc - by UghDude (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the orthodontist. As the lady was clipping my brackets, she missed and clipped my gums instead. She looked at me and said, "Oh sorry, you're bleeding really badly. See, I got these fake nails put on and I guess I'm just not used to them. Let me try again." She missed. FML

#883158
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75701) - you deserved it (2717)

On 04/09/2009 at 8:33am - misc - by BracesSuck (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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