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Today, a very pretty girl came up to me and asked me for my phone number. Very pleased, I give it to her with a huge smile and tell her that I can be reached at any time. I then watch her go back to her group of friends. My number was for her gay friend, who then meekly waved at me. FML

#718
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23421) - you deserved it (2782)

On 01/06/2009 at 6:58am - love - by musamalia - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was trying to clean the belt of my register at work at a grocery store. I noticed two strips of rubber stuck in the corner of the belt, and after pulling on them periodically all morning one finally came loose. It was a foot. I had been pulling at a dead rat trapped in the belt. FML

#3675667
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44564) - you deserved it (2782)

On 07/11/2009 at 8:33pm - work - by cashier (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 23 year old boyfriend of 2 years was forced to dump me, over the phone, by his mother. FML

#17726381
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31633) - you deserved it (2782)

On 09/12/2011 at 4:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a proper look at myself in the mirror. I have recently lost 5 lbs. Turns out that it mainly shows on my boob. Not boobs. Boob. Right one only. FML

Today, while training a new employee, I had to run after a naked guy chasing a hooker at the hotel I work at. I made him go back to his room, while she offered me a good time for 300 bucks. The trainee left and hasn't come back yet. FML

#20849812
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39035) - you deserved it (2782)

On 08/22/2013 at 7:50pm - work - by Awkward - United States

Today, I overheard my parents discussing whether or not they could trust me being alone in the house for 2 days. They then came to the decision that I'm too unpopular and unattractive to ever throw a wild party or get laid. FML

#7156329
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32315) - you deserved it (2781)

On 01/05/2010 at 12:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's your tip for the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML

Today, my jeans got caught in the airport escalators. Seeing as how we couldn't get them unstuck, my mother made me take them off. FML

#19016945
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25015) - you deserved it (2781)

On 02/07/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by courtneynaked (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I spotted a girl I have a crush on while grocery shopping. Before I could go over and say hi, I noticed her walk over and stroke a few kitchen knives through plastic wrapping. Then I spotted her in the dog food section sniffing rawhide bones with her eyes closed, looking very happy. FML

#20165046
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20903) - you deserved it (2781)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by grocerystalker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I gave my puppy a treat for finally doing his business in the grass instead of on the patio. He later puked it up all over the patio. FML

#19779823
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19269) - you deserved it (2781)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:14am - animals - by missmisfit - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while despairing over having been rejected for my dream job, I received an email asking me to come back in for another interview. Then they called me to say they accidentally sent the email to all the applicants, and that they definitely aren't interested. FML

#20915163
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42010) - you deserved it (2781)

On 10/10/2013 at 1:59pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while playing soccer, I was kicked so hard in the shin that my tibia snapped. The snap was so loud that even the audience heard. As we waited for an ambulance, my mom started yelling for me to get off the field so the game could continue. FML

Today, I woke up to the sound of my roommate's alarm clock going off at 6:00 in the morning. His bedroom door was locked, and he was passed out in his bed from drinking too much. It rang continuously for five and a half hours before it finally ran out of batteries. FML

#12934228
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27516) - you deserved it (2780)

On 09/06/2010 at 2:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)



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