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Today, I got sent to the head teacher's office for doing "stupid hand gestures and disrupting the class". Yesterday my teacher told the class to do the same hand gesture to ask for permission to go to the toilet so it wouldn't interrupt her talking. FML

#21226435
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39740) - you deserved it (2956)

On 08/01/2014 at 1:24am - misc - by Bad Teacher - Australia (Queensland)

Today, realized I need a new job. This happened when I was seriously considering ways to break my leg so I could stay at home for a day and not have to deal with my boss. FML

#21291344
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29147) - you deserved it (2956)

On 11/03/2014 at 4:16pm - work - by I don't want to be here anymore - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dog received a christmas card before I did. FML

#6678775
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26938) - you deserved it (2955)

On 12/09/2009 at 10:33am - animals - by amywee (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I woke up to shit on my floor and my cat hiding under my comforter. I have to get rid of my new fish because my cat is afraid of it. FML

#13581194
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22408) - you deserved it (2955)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm - animals - by danjoylovefun - United States (Colorado)

Today, a fight broke out between my 21 year old sister and our 6 year old brother. I tried to intervene, only to end up getting battered to shit in the process. According to my sister, he's going to hell for eating her candy. FML

#17539205
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25425) - you deserved it (2955)

On 08/21/2011 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, our electric horse fence broke. I turned it off so I could fix it. As I was grabbing the fence, my brother thought it would be hilarious to turn the fence back on. FML

#17766794
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27661) - you deserved it (2955)

On 09/17/2011 at 7:42pm - animals - by ouch (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I offered an elderly man my seat on the train. He thanked me by winking and offering me a seat on his lap. FML

#19387576
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21574) - you deserved it (2955)

On 04/01/2012 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML

#20134163
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22463) - you deserved it (2955)

On 10/26/2012 at 12:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, my mom and I went to Best Buy for some Christmas shopping. She picked up some presents for me and told me not to look at what she was buying. When we got to the register, she didn't have enough money, and I ended up having to buy my own presents. FML

#20413996
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35195) - you deserved it (2955)

On 12/22/2012 at 3:25pm - money - by dude, where's my balls? :( (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I checked out a "confessions" page for my university. The first confession was from a guy who whacked off in a campus restroom then used a computer in a lab without washing his hands. I work in that lab. FML

#20501884
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35175) - you deserved it (2956)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to an over-crowded grocery store. As I reached the front of a long line, I noticed that a cart had been abandoned in everybody's way. Trying to be helpful, I moved it to the side. An enormous woman then shoved me and yelled at me for "pushing her property around." FML

#20953468
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34823) - you deserved it (2955)

On 11/11/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by PainStressLife - United States (California)

Today, a drunken guest in the hotel I work at has barricaded himself in the employee restroom and refuses to come out, unless I "promise to love him forever." It's 4am and I'm the only one here. FML

Today, my friend started choking while at a Hard Rock Cafe. I jumped up and tried to give her the Heimlich maneuver, only for her to throw up all over the table and stagger out of the place. I stood there as the waiter asked if I wanted to split the bill. FML



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