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Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the living room. I jumped up and went running, only to find out it was my mother, who'd screamed at some dramatic plot twist in a Sex and the City episode. FML

#21243243
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35825) - you deserved it (2917)

On 08/22/2014 at 4:26pm - misc - by leastitwasntsurpriseanal (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while playing soccer, I was kicked so hard in the shin that my tibia snapped. The snap was so loud that even the audience heard. As we waited for an ambulance, my mom started yelling for me to get off the field so the game could continue. FML

Today, I was taking the bus home. A dirty homeless man boarded the bus, put his bag on the overhead rack, and sat down. His bag was leaking and dripped onto my shoulder. I asked the man what it was. He said, "Roadkill." I now have dead animal blood on my best business suit. FML

#1306375
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50876) - you deserved it (2916)

On 04/24/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by Lo_Bolian (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got a zero on my math test. My teacher was convinced that I had written the answers on my arm. No answers, just really thick, black arm hair. FML

#13380605
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29688) - you deserved it (2916)

On 10/09/2010 at 4:54pm - misc - by Sean - United States (California)

Today, at work, a homeless woman called me trash, threw her coffee at me, and told me to get a job. I do have a job. It's homeless outreach. FML

#14740890
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28547) - you deserved it (2916)

On 01/28/2011 at 6:44am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was chosen to MC a function at work. I developed a terrible case of hiccups which made the audience giggle and groan for the duration of my time on stage. FML

#15461657
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22440) - you deserved it (2916)

On 03/24/2011 at 3:29am - work - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML

#19870178
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21801) - you deserved it (2916)

On 06/30/2012 at 4:10am - misc - by audreyav - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had a customer tell me how much she regretted not aborting her expected child, how much she hates the father, and described to me in immense detail what it is like to pee while pregnant. All within the 30 seconds it took me to serve her. FML

#20684874
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42817) - you deserved it (2916)

On 05/25/2013 at 1:09am - work - by mmmretail (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while in the restroom washing my hands, a girl decided to let one rip while in the stall. When she came out she gave me a dirty look of disgust and said, "At least wait until I leave." She and I were the only ones in the restroom. FML

#20841231
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43865) - you deserved it (2916)

On 08/17/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by mugres22 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while delivering pizzas, someone ordered $19.41 in pizza and wings. After finally finding her appartment, she paid me in two sandwich bags full of pennies and nickels. I had to count them out before giving her the pizza. We aren't allowed to enter the residence, and it was 22 degrees. FML

#20976643
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47445) - you deserved it (2916)

On 12/01/2013 at 2:42am - work - by JudasThePriest (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went on my honeymoon to Hawaii. My family decided to surprise my new husband and I by joining us on our vacation. FML

#3345356
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78774) - you deserved it (2915)

On 06/29/2009 at 8:57pm - misc - by marriedwithfamily (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, at a family gathering, my aunt asked me when I was planning to have children. I'm only 16, I laughed and said not for a while, definitely not until I get married. My family shook their heads, and ignored me for the rest of the day. Apparently, teenage pregnancy is valued in my family. FML

#4555505
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59822) - you deserved it (2915)

On 08/15/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my AP teacher once again accused me of plagiarism. Apparently the words "demise," "ultimately," and "rural," are too sophisticated for an 11th grade AP student to use and MUST have been copied from the Internet. FML

#16311438
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46983) - you deserved it (2915)

On 05/23/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by dumbteacher -



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