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Today, I was chatting to a nice girl at the mall, and I said if she didn't get a raise, I would write to the management. She said they have no email address, and I replied that I meant an actual letter. "Like, on paper?" she said, "Damn, how old are ya, pops?" I want a ticket off this planet. FML

#19276990
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28543) - you deserved it (3429)

On 03/14/2012 at 11:17am - misc - by S. Michaels (man) - United States

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

#19592298
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34307) - you deserved it (3429)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States

Today, I was fired for not asking a senior citizen for proof that he was over 21 and legally allowed to purchase alcohol. When I told my manager he was clearly over 21, he replied, "But what if he WASN'T?" FML

#21412440
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31718) - you deserved it (3429)

On 05/19/2015 at 7:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, the amount of spiders in my house has gotten so bad that it's become routine to shake out any blankets or towels before using them. FML

#21422575
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27405) - you deserved it (3429)

On 06/07/2015 at 11:13pm - animals - by terrified - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend, and best friend, had baked a cake, and wouldnt tell anyone who it was for. When I asked he said I'd know soon. He met me after class to break up with me and offered me the cake to make me feel better. FML

#915379
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68221) - you deserved it (3428)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years saw baby wipes in my bathroom and assumed I had a kid. He broke up with me. I use baby wipes to take off my makeup. FML

#7972550
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35901) - you deserved it (3428)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:41pm - love - by notababymama (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I woke up from a much needed nap realizing I should take my pain medication. My mother then told me she had thrown them out so I wouldn't get addicted and become a drug dealer. FML

#20723014
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60327) - you deserved it (3428)

On 06/13/2013 at 3:05am - health - by _Tatyana_ - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got head lice, so I went to a store to buy medicated shampoo. When checking out the cashier saw my shampoo and asked me to leave immediately to protect the other customers. He didn't let me buy the shampoo. FML

#20775381
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56919) - you deserved it (3429)

On 07/11/2013 at 12:52am - health - by frustrated - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML

#20991671
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43245) - you deserved it (3428)

On 12/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by thank u usa (man) - Germany

Today, I had a basketball game against our rivals. Since the starting guard had a broken ankle, I felt happy that I could finally get playing time and prove that I'm good. Instead I had to run the scoreboard for the game, because the scoreboard guy was absent. FML

#3573001
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40896) - you deserved it (3427)

On 07/08/2009 at 1:49am - misc - by Benchthewarmer (man) - United States

Today, I discovered my boyfriend has a thing for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant though, my roommate is. FML

#10629274
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38363) - you deserved it (3427)

On 05/19/2010 at 4:19pm - love - by Amy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to take my driver's test, and I did almost everything perfectly. The last thing was to back into a driveway. As I went to put my hand on the passenger seat to look over my shoulder, I got so nervous that I hit my instructor in the face. FML

#19782263
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27950) - you deserved it (3427)

On 06/13/2012 at 2:13pm - misc - by sopissed - United States (Maryland)

Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML

#20755283
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52558) - you deserved it (3427)

On 06/30/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by whipplewhip - United States



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