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Today, I had to go along with my mom to meet some of her old friends from high school. When they asked her about how her life was going, she said she was married, always traveling, no kids, and introduced me as the neighbor's kid she babysits. FML

#12498978
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40691) - you deserved it (3019)

On 08/13/2010 at 12:28pm - kids - by Bullet - United States

Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML

#9143571
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38029) - you deserved it (3019)

On 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm - misc - by disturbed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that due to the fact that I got divorced, the insurance for my car is going up. A year after she took everything, she is still costing me money. FML

#18922486
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24871) - you deserved it (3019)

On 01/27/2012 at 1:54am - money - by dust - Japan

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, I told a teenager to, "Walk please." He then threw his soda at me as he ran away. We aren't allowed off stand unless it's an emergency, so I baked in that soda for 30 minutes. FML

#19692881
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22880) - you deserved it (3019)

On 05/28/2012 at 10:05am - work - by emonsteadman - United States (Texas)

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

#19650159
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26618) - you deserved it (3019)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was burgled while I was on the toilet. FML

#20402014
133 comments

Today, I had to endure a long drive from Poland to England. We weren't allowed to open our windows. My mum threw up. Twice. FML

#12430167
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30396) - you deserved it (3018)

On 08/10/2010 at 9:46am - health - by travelsickness - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML

#20183521
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22206) - you deserved it (3018)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:40am - kids - by fabs1171 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML

#20421301
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26188) - you deserved it (3018)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by everore - United States (Utah)

Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML

#20661009
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42359) - you deserved it (3018)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I was talking to the girl I've liked for 2 years. We were assigned partners for a History project so we were going to work on it at my house. When she asked me for directions, I told her I lived on Woodcock Road. She yelled slapped me and stormed off. I was serious. FML

#3894865
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52630) - you deserved it (3017)

On 07/20/2009 at 12:04am - love - by thicklysettled (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mother keyed my car because I wouldn't invite her into my home and get her a cup of tea, so she could continue screaming that she was going to kill me while I tried to feed my 4 month old daughter. The last time I got her a cup of tea she threw it in my face. FML

Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML

#20681811
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41208) - you deserved it (3017)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Buzau)



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