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Today, I broke my collarbone in a rugby tournament. I was forced to sit through five more hours of games because the coach wouldn't take me to the hospital until the tournament was over. FML

by nico / 07/01/2011 at 12:15am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's totally convinced I'm gay. When I tried explaining that I can't be if I'm attracted to her, she took it as me thinking she's mannish. FML

by Leenotgay / 09/25/2011 at 12:23am / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, I met my boyfriend's grandma for the first time. Trying to make a good impression, I offered to wash the dishes. I accidentally broke the faucet. FML

by gmd05 / 07/31/2012 at 10:28am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, yet again, I got to my desk at work at 8 AM to find my laptop turned on and porn sites opened. Weird porn sites. I have no idea who is doing this, or how they have access to my office, or how they got my login password. HR thinks I'm making this up. FML

Today, I tried to put the little girl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her down when she made a mad dash for the basement stairs, slipped on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stairs. FML

by little_star78 / 11/13/2013 at 6:08am / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, a bible toting evangelist on the street ambushed me and asked me what my religion was. I wear a hijab. FML

by itisobviouseinstein / 09/29/2015 at 11:31pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was dumped by the guy who serenaded me with his guitar and admitted he had feelings for me. Why? Because the girl who had continuously been rejecting him for so long finally decided to give him a chance. FML

by drfrogpepper / 01/01/2011 at 6:50pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my mother tried to tell me that nicotine is the only substance that ensures weight loss, and that nicotine has been passed down in our family for over 5 generations of heavy smoking relatives. Then she encouraged me to start smoking. FML

by Caeru / 06/21/2011 at 3:08am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I asked my husband to come upstairs to our bedroom, thinking I could get some "special time." It ended up with us arguing about his mother, and him falling asleep cuddling my pillow while sucking his thumb. FML

by anonymous2.0 / 10/12/2012 at 2:15am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, my brother and I were talking about Ebola, when he says he would love to have the disease because of how famous it would make him. Plus, his college essays about him "fighting through the disease" would be "phenomenal". FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2014 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my boyfriend bought us plane tickets to Mexico for our "Honeymoon". This would be nice if he had proposed and if we'd been dating for longer than 2 weeks. FML

by anonymous / 11/12/2014 at 12:21am / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, my boyfriend decided he is going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML

by types / 03/02/2012 at 10:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML

by CoolStoryBro / 03/29/2013 at 4:23am / Work