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Today, I met my boyfriend's sophisticated grandparents. I politely introduced myself. The first words to come out of his granny's mouth were, "If something happens to him, you won't get a f*cking cent of the insurance money, you hear?" FML

#17019380
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33753) - you deserved it (2690)

On 07/07/2011 at 8:58pm - love - by Jessica - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML

#17906392
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28830) - you deserved it (2690)

On 10/04/2011 at 8:14pm - love - by Nickolas Neffster - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I said yes. This caused him to panic, excuse himself, then take it back via text message a half hour later, claiming he'd been drunk. We live together. When he comes back home, it's going to be very awkward indeed. FML

#20541052
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37000) - you deserved it (2690)

On 03/12/2013 at 6:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, we had our second snow day in a row, something that never happens. So while the rest of school got to sleep late, I had to wake up early, get dressed, and go to my bus stop because my mom didn't believe me. FML

#8153110
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24849) - you deserved it (2689)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by goestoschoolonsnowdays - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML

#8687085
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24945) - you deserved it (2689)

On 02/27/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I was babysitting four kids. I turned the TV on for them, and set the youngest on my lap. She started giggling and pointing at every single pimple I have, exclaiming "Boo-boo!" This went on for half an hour. FML

#20114676
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18618) - you deserved it (2689)

On 10/13/2012 at 7:22am - kids - by Shiverice - United States (Michigan)

Today, I met my biological father for the first time. He seemed to be slightly intoxicated from the outset, and less than half an hour later, he had tried to intimidate me into "loaning" him several hundred euros for reasons he wouldn't tell me. So long, "dad". FML

#20750358
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42137) - you deserved it (2689)

On 06/27/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by brigitte (woman) - France (Picardie)

Today, I was at a family meeting about opening up a business. During it, I had an allergic reaction and my throat began to close. Nobody tried to help. In fact, pictures were taken. FML

Today, I am sitting next to a guy who very clearly has lice crawling on his head. It's a six hour flight. FML

#21006067
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43895) - you deserved it (2689)

On 12/26/2013 at 11:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, nothing said Christmas quite like my dad taking 18 shots of vodka, falling on the Christmas tree while holding our 3-year-old cousin and denying it ever happened when he woke up later. FML

#21005822
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35984) - you deserved it (2689)

On 12/26/2013 at 1:48am - misc - by thanks_world - United States (Washington)

Today, I got to my apartment early after being out really late the night before. Maybe next time I should call ahead of time so that my roommate has time to sneak my girlfriend out of his bedroom. FML

#6116013
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42073) - you deserved it (2688)

On 11/02/2009 at 6:05am - love - by ZPyRoGoDz (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I noticed my new neighbor had taken the liberty of putting up signs all around their lawn overnight. There are at least a dozen signs detailing the various reasons everyone on the planet is condemned to hell. FML

#15186423
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25281) - you deserved it (2688)

On 03/03/2011 at 1:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom came home from surgery. Upon arriving home, she flashed a paper in my face and said, "Want to see pictures of my colon?" My eyes are still burning. FML

#18703060
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21167) - you deserved it (2688)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:15am - health - by emsbuffalo - United States



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