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Today, my 50-year-old mother borrowed my denim miniskirt to go to the bar. In return, she offered to let me borrow her red "f*** me" pumps whenever I needed them. FML

#4061190
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38309) - you deserved it (2919)

On 07/26/2009 at 7:51pm - misc - by mvp (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I turned 18. I thought it was bad enough that I had to pick up my own ice cream cake from the store, but then when I got home, my family discovered no more room in the freezer. They decided to eat it so it wouldn't melt. Without me. FML

Today, I shared the story of my younger brother's unexpected death with a friend. After telling him the story, I looked at him with teary eyes and he looked back into my eyes and said "I understand how you feel. That is almost as bad as when I lost my cat last spring term." FML

#6914184
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30510) - you deserved it (2919)

On 12/24/2009 at 12:31am - animals - by Beeh (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML

#20113997
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35619) - you deserved it (2919)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while going through airport security the lady asked why I folded everything so small. I said that I was going away for a month and needed to fit a lot of stuff in only one bag. She smiled, nodded and then dumped my luggage to search for "drugs and other illegal teen things." FML

#3811279
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49732) - you deserved it (2918)

On 07/16/2009 at 7:39pm - misc - by search_me (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. On our way to the Space Needle I was pulled over and promptly arrested. Apparently, I had recently purchased a car from a man who had robbed a jewelery store. The ring is now evidence. FML

#3860053
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55585) - you deserved it (2918)

On 07/18/2009 at 4:19pm - love - by diamondsareforever (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was making out with this guy I had been seeing, and things start to get pretty steamy. As he paused for a second, I thought he was going to get up and find a condom, but instead he turns to me and says, "I think I'm going to go to the library." I wasn't invited. FML

#7004300
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16583) - you deserved it (2918)

On 12/29/2009 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the alter while my husband said his vows. FML

#8658648
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55349) - you deserved it (2918)

On 02/26/2010 at 5:23am - love - by pain (woman) - Japan

Today, I found out that my brother is engaged to marry an ex-girlfriend of mine. This comes almost two months after my brother divorced ANOTHER ex-girlfriend of mine. FML

Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML

#19409952
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20483) - you deserved it (2918)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:13am - work - by Kait - United States

Today, I bought some really expensive face wipes that were supposed to cure my awful acne. I was excited to use them until I found out my mom had used them all wiping down her car. FML

Today, my boyfriend slept with my sister. "Accidentally", apparently. FML

#21322801
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37112) - you deserved it (2918)

On 12/23/2014 at 4:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my parents told me they don't think I'll ever find a boyfriend, and insist on referring to my future cats as their "grandkids". FML

#21289318
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30229) - you deserved it (2918)

On 10/31/2014 at 9:16pm - love - by really - United States



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