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Today, I learned that an antidepressant that works too well is a stimulant. I've been jittering and twitching like a meth-head, and my co-workers are asking when Jesse will be showing up with my "stuff". FML

#20896646
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35258) - you deserved it (2964)

On 09/26/2013 at 9:50am - health - by CancerFdMyLife (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were chatting on MSN. He had to go run down to the corner market but left his webcam on. Shortly after he left I watched his mother steal 60 dollars out of his wallet. He doesn't believe me. FML

#3764935
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47714) - you deserved it (2963)

On 07/15/2009 at 1:04am - love - by wtf (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. And I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML

#5039169
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40038) - you deserved it (2963)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by no_hullabalo (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-wan)

Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML

#19941503
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21349) - you deserved it (2963)

On 07/15/2012 at 3:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via facebook. I don't even have a facebook. My friends had to tell me. FML

#14160726
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33925) - you deserved it (2962)

On 12/11/2010 at 12:05am - love - by itsover (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got fired via text. The last sentence was, "Wish you the best, take care!" FML

#16476285
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26648) - you deserved it (2962)

On 06/02/2011 at 11:08pm - work - by amf (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my neighbour was practicing his opera singing, drunk. FML

#20869663
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32186) - you deserved it (2962)

On 09/05/2013 at 11:27pm - misc - by Thesuz - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

#6433881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38929) - you deserved it (2961)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML

#20145433
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37452) - you deserved it (2961)

On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - intimacy - by heartbroke (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39835) - you deserved it (2961)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I had to take an oral examination. I made it to the last part of the exam, then violently threw up in the middle of my answer. FML

#20991922
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37384) - you deserved it (2961)

On 12/14/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by MGDS (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my girlfriend I have only one testicle. Her reaction? "Eeew, balls are gross!" I'm glad to know I'm only half as gross as other guys. FML

#5463165
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21734) - you deserved it (2960)

On 09/25/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by lone_ranger (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a guy I've liked for a while asked if he could talk to me during break. He'd never done that before, so I was excited and said yes. As soon as we both sat down, he asked if I'd help him get a date with my best friend. FML

#14073142
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29396) - you deserved it (2960)

On 12/03/2010 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina (Santa Fe)



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