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Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML

#17027356
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36993) - you deserved it (2184) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2011 at 11:46am - health - by Anonymous - Belgium (Liege)

Today, a guy came by my house and demanded my fiancé come out and fight. He explained that my fiancé had been stupid enough to not only troll on a local interest forum, but to leave his name and our address, inviting people to "come shut me up if you think you're tough enough." FML

#19260782
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19236) - you deserved it (2184)

On 03/11/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by me (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I've been single for so long my grandmother had to ask if I actually like women or not. FML

#20513781
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21066) - you deserved it (2184)

On 02/19/2013 at 6:07pm - love - by Forever alone Guy - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML

#766
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45040) - you deserved it (2183)

On 12/31/2008 at 6:41pm - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, while trying to pull a nail out of some wood with a crowbar in my theatre class, my girlfriend, who was holding down the wood with her foot, thought it would be funny to move her foot and make me lose my balance. Instead, the crowbar flew up and struck me in the nuts. FML

#8794637
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18406) - you deserved it (2183)

On 03/03/2010 at 6:13am - misc - by ouch... (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML

#17617365
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20159) - you deserved it (2183)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:56pm - misc - by SinkyBalls - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, as I got off the bus, I saw a girl counting her change making sure she had enough for the ride. Since it was my last stop for the day, I offered my day pass to her. She replied, "Get away, freak." FML

#19597071
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26523) - you deserved it (2183)

On 05/09/2012 at 10:40am - misc - by calidreaming - Japan (Osaka)

Today, it was my wedding day. The best part was when we were taking photos and I threw up on my dress. At least the pictures were outside. FML

#19615153
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15215) - you deserved it (2183)

On 05/13/2012 at 2:28am - health - by whatevershit - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out how my parents met. They met at a mental hospital, where they were both being hospitalized. FML

#19791945
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26572) - you deserved it (2183)

On 06/15/2012 at 11:36am - love - by fail (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I visited my 78 year old grandmother. She thanked me for visiting and gave me a magazine before I left telling me I might find something I like in there. When I got home I looked at the magazine only to realize it's full of dildos and sextoys. FML

#16862
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30900) - you deserved it (2182)

On 02/09/2009 at 2:51am - intimacy - by V (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while working at my tanning salon, a woman came in and I put her in a booth, which are all stand up. After she comes out, I go in to clean it and realize that floor is all wet. I questioned her about it and she replies, "Oh, I peed, that's not a drain?". FML

#1756175
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57485) - you deserved it (2182)

On 05/08/2009 at 7:17pm - work - by lover21 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 4 years. Her response? First, she threw up all over me and then she started crying hysterically. I'll take that as a no. FML

#6267863
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30889) - you deserved it (2183)

On 11/12/2009 at 12:36am - love - by youmakemesick - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML

#13120508
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20043) - you deserved it (2182)

On 09/19/2010 at 10:13pm - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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