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Today, the last few seconds of my 2011 was spent staring at my drunk, naked uncle pouring olive oil over himself and rubbing it in. FML

#18670300
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27749) - you deserved it (3063)

On 01/01/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by Scarred4Life - United States (Maryland)

Today, after going to college for 5 years to become an architect I discover my plumber makes more than I do. FML

#761
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20631) - you deserved it (3062)

On 12/30/2008 at 6:16am - work - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up to the news that my son had put the cat in the dryer the night before. He didn't turn it on, and the cat is just fine, but now I need a new dryer so my clothes won't smell like cat urine. FML

#7477467
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28211) - you deserved it (3062)

On 01/21/2010 at 4:40pm - kids - by nocatlover (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a 1 day cruise to the Bahamas. It happened to be on the same day of the worst sailing conditions. We spent 6 hours throwing up together. Him into the sink, and me into the toilet. We spent $200 to see the inside of our cabin's bathroom. FML

#8280638
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22850) - you deserved it (3062)

On 02/15/2010 at 12:03am - love - by SeaSick (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my car got acquainted with about 3 dozen eggs. FML

#17924502
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23286) - you deserved it (3062)

On 10/06/2011 at 11:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I wound up cleaning vomit out of the window track of my car at midnight, in the nicest dress I own, after my husband got completely wasted at his office Christmas party. FML

#18474443
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24861) - you deserved it (3062)

On 12/10/2011 at 5:14am - misc - by dee - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years old. FML

#20170920
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25568) - you deserved it (3062)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:23pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw a photo on Instagram of my friend flipping the camera the bird. She'd tagged it under "irony", so I jokingly suggested that she borrow a dictionary. She responded with a tirade of abuse, claimed to be sleeping with my boyfriend, and blocked me an hour later. FML

#20398380
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21337) - you deserved it (3062)

On 12/13/2012 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my step-dad tried to talk me into getting plastic surgery. His reasoning: "Let's face it, 28 and single? Look, I know your mum gave you shitty genes, but that's no excuse to avoid fixing your face, honey." FML

#20765605
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44452) - you deserved it (3062)

On 07/05/2013 at 5:37pm - misc - by buttuglyforeveralone :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Merthyr Tydfil)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him. When I happily told my dad, he kept asking if I'd consider taking back my ex. FML

#21266215
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36563) - you deserved it (3062)

On 09/27/2014 at 4:16am - love - by nyx (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up feeling awful and decided to make myself a nice egg omelette with bacon, toast and fresh fruit. As I went to eat it, I stubbed my toe and dropped it all on the floor. My dogs were very happy about that. FML

#21312082
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29470) - you deserved it (3062)

On 12/05/2014 at 4:00pm - misc - by Dani (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my boyfriend is only with me because he's in love with my sister, who turned him down repeatedly, and I'm the closest he can now get. FML

#14542249
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31450) - you deserved it (3061)

On 01/11/2011 at 4:45am - love - by Username -

Today, my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, and making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML

#18145406
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41427) - you deserved it (3061)

On 11/03/2011 at 5:18am - misc - by Grounded (woman) - United States



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

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