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Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. FML

#6532401
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35454) - you deserved it (2778)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that the fat sweaty guy at my job frequently uses my rub-on deodorant and puts it back in my drawer after he's done. FML

#14209126
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31210) - you deserved it (2778)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:27am - work - by anonymous -

Today, my younger brother called me saying he's getting married. Now, I have to attend my ex's wedding. I'm the best man. FML

#14240691
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35099) - you deserved it (2778)

On 12/17/2010 at 10:07pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I overheard my parents planning on how to get me to move out of the house. It's my house. They only came to visit and forgot to leave. FML

#17668711
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38477) - you deserved it (2778)

On 09/05/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I came home from work to find my computer smashed into a hundred pieces. My dad threw it at my mom because they were having a fight and my computer was the closest thing to throw. He refuses to fix it. FML

Today, I fell flat on my ass while running for the subway. Made it on only to find out that it was standing by for ten minutes. I then got to ride all the way to work with a train full of people who watched me fall. FML

#3586
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16336) - you deserved it (2777)

On 01/30/2009 at 6:30am - work - by Weter - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was going over to my friends house for dinner, (it was my birthday) when I walked in everyone yelled surprise and then turned on the lights. When my friend looked over at me she said "wrong person guys, turn off the lights". FML

#240271
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55077) - you deserved it (2777)

On 03/08/2009 at 3:16am - misc - by PmS (woman) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped grabbed the ball for the kid and started to hand it to him. He then yelled "Stranger Danger" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30mins. FML

#1864532
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56711) - you deserved it (2777)

On 05/12/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by TheJoker (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend was sick so I took her 5 year old daughter out to eat. Half-way through our "date" she asks me loudly "Can we go back to the car now and take our clothes off?" Apparently she meant her toy dog's clothes. Face burning, we left a half laughing/half glaring crowd behind. FML

#1962553
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43171) - you deserved it (2777)

On 05/15/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by BigBadTron (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, while going for a run in my neighbourhood I was hit by a car not once, but twice. The second car, closely following the first, stopped and then drove forward to see if I was all right. FML

#2071358
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45696) - you deserved it (2777)

On 05/19/2009 at 1:17am - health - by OUCH (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that our water tank has had a dead crow rotting in it for days. I took showers and brushed my teeth with dead crow soup. FML

#6165899
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35057) - you deserved it (2777)

On 11/05/2009 at 10:26am - misc - by aqua88 (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I came home to my family remodeling our (extremely) out of date bathroom. I was SUPER excited to help them get it done. I walked down the hallway and opened my bedroom door to find a huge, gaping hole in my wall and my room covered in dust. I had to sweep every surface in my room. FML

#13831440
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19216) - you deserved it (2777)

On 11/13/2010 at 8:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's flat. As I came out of the toilet he walked over, took my hand, looked at me and whispered, "You washed your hands. Good." in an extremely creepy manner. FML

#19605689
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18826) - you deserved it (2777)

On 05/11/2012 at 1:03am - misc - by Lizofsmeg (woman) - United States



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