Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I gathered the courage to ask my crush on a date. As I called her, she quickly answered and said "Can't talk right now, I'm in a movie theater." and then hung up. I'd called her home phone. FML

#4706873
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37112) - you deserved it (2770)

On 08/21/2009 at 11:36am - love - by sophistication (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I let my dad borrow my car. I found out a few hours later that he has had a suspended license for three years. How did I find out? He got pulled over and arrested. My car was also impounded. I'm a college student barely making it as it is. Guess who can't afford the impound fees? FML

#6256423
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29575) - you deserved it (2770)

On 11/11/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by brokeasajoke (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be fun to sit on my lap. In the process he landed on me so hard that he made me hit my head. Then when he turned around his elbow smacked into my nose causing it to break. FML

#14530558
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25913) - you deserved it (2770)

On 01/10/2011 at 5:35am - health - by dinosaur - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got in a car accident on the way to work. I received an abusive phone call from my boss saying he shouldn't have to cover my lazy ass. I was driving to cover his shift because he was too drunk to show up to work. FML

#15642936
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33109) - you deserved it (2770)

On 04/04/2011 at 10:03pm - work - by patch91 -

Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML

#17669006
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29875) - you deserved it (2770)

On 09/05/2011 at 9:00am - misc - by Brie - United States (Georgia)

Today, it's -20°C outside. Half way through my thirty minutes walk to work, my boss pulled up beside me in her car, said "You look cold. I'll see you at work." And then drove away. FML

#18898578
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34730) - you deserved it (2770)

On 01/24/2012 at 1:07pm - work - by emma209 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend sent me a picture. In the mirror I could see a bra and thong sitting on his bed. They weren't mine. FML

#19196280
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35583) - you deserved it (2770)

On 03/01/2012 at 3:39pm - love - by eeelise5296 - United States (Arizona)

Today, my friend and I told each other about our boyfriends. They're both nice, kind, beautiful, talented, funny, sweet and smart. They also both have the same name. And house. And job. And car. FML

#20196037
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41568) - you deserved it (2770)

On 12/08/2012 at 5:44am - love - by ouch. - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, my girlfriend called me and told me to come to her college, so I did. I was greeted by the campus police who told me to stop harassing her because she no longer wants to be with me. Then they told me I was no longer welcome on campus and hereby banned. She used campus police to dump me. FML

#5029285
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47301) - you deserved it (2769)

On 09/03/2009 at 9:45pm - love - by Wow (man) - United States

Today, I was riding my bike back to my house. Suddenly I was hit by something in the head. I looked down to see a lemon on the ground and looked up to see a guy yelling at me in a car that was passing. He was yelling at me because I got in the way of the house he was throwing it at. FML

#6525806
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24916) - you deserved it (2769)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Lemonhead (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that my husband's secretary named her new baby boy after my husband. Everyone at the office thinks it's funny. My husband says it's a coincidence. FML

#14092737
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28657) - you deserved it (2769)

On 12/05/2010 at 4:30am - misc - by momoffour (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, after staying up all night with an excruciating headache, it finally went away. I crawled into bed and snuggled up to my husband only to have him shift positions and elbow me right in the head. FML

#18534039
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27399) - you deserved it (2769)

On 12/17/2011 at 6:09am - health - by wideawakeandinpain - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to go into the school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML

#20061403
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22380) - you deserved it (2769)

On 09/07/2012 at 1:08am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: