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Today, I was walking my dog. Suddenly, my insane neighbor who loves dogs a bit too much comes over and asks to pet my dog. I say OK, thinking that if I watch her, she won't do anything. I turn around to make sure no cars are coming and when I turn back, she's trying to steal my dog. FML

Today, a girl I really liked mentioned she's home alone and that she was really really lonely. She offered for me to come over and watch a few movies with her, and as I got prepared to leave she sent me a text saying " can you pick up my friend Spencer? " FML

#92040
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45367) - you deserved it (3110)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:42pm - love - by batman123 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my apartment burned to the ground. I was packed and ready to move out tomorrow. FML

#16622108
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56140) - you deserved it (3110)

On 06/12/2011 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it was my high school graduation. Everything was going fine until everyone saw my family fighting over where we would go afterwards. Security had to pull them apart. FML

#20712915
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45159) - you deserved it (3110)

On 06/08/2013 at 1:12am - misc - by congrats grad - United States (California)

Today, it was my birthday. I only got one message, from my dad, which was a sexual image meant for my mother. FML

#21110643
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43628) - you deserved it (3110)

On 04/11/2014 at 9:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my little sister decided the best way to cheat on a test is to take someone else's test, scratch through their name in pencil, and write her name underneath. She starts high school next semester. FML

#21272741
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34193) - you deserved it (3110)

On 10/07/2014 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a very pretty girl came up to me and asked me for my phone number. Very pleased, I give it to her with a huge smile and tell her that I can be reached at any time. I then watch her go back to her group of friends. My number was for her gay friend, who then meekly waved at me. FML

#718
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26490) - you deserved it (3109)

On 01/06/2009 at 6:58am - love - by musamalia - Sent from mobile version

Today, at a red light, an old lady crossing the street fell right infront of my car. I got out of my car to help her. The light turned green and I was still helping the woman to her feet. An officer came by and ticketed me for "impeding the flow of traffic." FML

#205743
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72889) - you deserved it (3109)

On 03/04/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by VroomVroom (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I realised that what I had thought was my dad's default state for the past 17 years is actually his drunken state. FML

#15844310
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28684) - you deserved it (3109)

On 04/19/2011 at 5:50am - misc - by Violet (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I applied for a dental insurance that claims "you cannot be denied". I was denied. FML

#16464062
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29667) - you deserved it (3109)

On 06/02/2011 at 3:26am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML

#17775098
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22412) - you deserved it (3109)

On 09/18/2011 at 8:23pm - love - by DeadScared (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my neighbour was practicing his opera singing, drunk. FML

#20869663
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33850) - you deserved it (3109)

On 09/05/2013 at 11:27pm - misc - by Thesuz - Canada (Alberta)



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