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Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML

#18545148
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21247) - you deserved it (2996)

On 12/18/2011 at 2:31pm - animals - by dogh8er (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to visit my overly-posh mother for the first time in many years. Upon arrival, she kicked me out because my outfit did not follow the same color-scheme as her decor. FML

#20888617
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43947) - you deserved it (2996)

On 09/20/2013 at 1:52am - misc - by wat - United States (California)

Today, my boss told me that my attitude to work is awesome and that he'd follow my example of coming in half-an-hour early every day from now on. I relish those 30 minutes as the only time I can get work done without him constantly interrupting me. So much for that. FML

#20919859
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44025) - you deserved it (2996)

On 10/14/2013 at 6:38am - work - by Karansuni (woman) - Germany

Today, I tried to download some network-monitoring software for the office as I suspect that one of my staff has been constantly downloading torrents. It wouldn't download because someone was using all the bandwidth. FML

#21282944
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29628) - you deserved it (2996)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:09am - work - by Thewatcher (man) - Mauritius

Today, I was dealing with a psychiatric patient with a colonostomy bag. She got agitated and ripped the bag from her abdomen and threw it at my face. I got a bag filled with poop thrown at my face. FML

#2364469
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52592) - you deserved it (2995)

On 05/28/2009 at 1:04am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I finally figured out why my mechanic was so cheap; he wanted to sleep with me. After I politely declined, he charged me regular price plus extra for "humiliating" him. He's 60. I just recently turned 18. FML

#17444055
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38815) - you deserved it (2995)

On 08/11/2011 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was waiting to pull out of a parking space, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to put the car into reverse instead of drive while I was waiting for traffic to clear. I don't think the people who own the car behind me were laughing. Nor is my now ex-boyfriend. FML

#19692417
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25570) - you deserved it (2996)

On 05/28/2012 at 5:38am - misc - by Broke (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dad still refuses to repay the loan I gave him. I've just barely managed to pay my bills, and I'm now so poor that I'll have to survive the next 3 days until my next paycheck by eating the only thing left in my fridge: a jar of cheese whiz. FML

#21358559
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32741) - you deserved it (2995)

On 02/18/2015 at 12:17pm - money - by janused (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my friend told me that she gave my number to a guy I've liked for a while. I asked why and she just said "He's just going to have to tell you himself." I got hopeful and really nervous. A few hours later he calls. Turns out, he's called to try and get a date with my gay friend. FML

#3491271
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35741) - you deserved it (2994)

On 07/04/2009 at 10:40pm - love - by Single4Life (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

#14398309
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24810) - you deserved it (2994)

On 12/30/2010 at 5:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML

#7946481
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22711) - you deserved it (2994)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom (York)

Today, waking up I noticed that my female boss had texted me during the night, telling me she wants me bad. I'm a woman, happily married to a man, and now have to turn her down somehow and not get fired in the process. FML

#13700074
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33365) - you deserved it (2994)

On 11/03/2010 at 10:35am - intimacy - by tuppu (woman) - Finland

Today, I found out that of the three medications I am taking for depression, one causes weight gain, one causes severe weight gain, and one "might cause weight gain." FML

#19545026
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27598) - you deserved it (2994)

On 04/28/2012 at 11:00pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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