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Today, I went to Waffle House to talk to the manager about getting a job. My boyfriend now wants to beat up the manager for giving me his number so that I can call him whenever I'm done filling in the application. FML

#20085651
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17513) - you deserved it (2964)

On 09/23/2012 at 8:26pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my parents kindly told me what they are getting me for my 18th birthday. An eviction notice. FML

#20170511
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20268) - you deserved it (2964)

On 11/20/2012 at 1:47am - kids - by lea5459 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I learned that an antidepressant that works too well is a stimulant. I've been jittering and twitching like a meth-head, and my co-workers are asking when Jesse will be showing up with my "stuff". FML

#20896646
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35256) - you deserved it (2964)

On 09/26/2013 at 9:50am - health - by CancerFdMyLife (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were chatting on MSN. He had to go run down to the corner market but left his webcam on. Shortly after he left I watched his mother steal 60 dollars out of his wallet. He doesn't believe me. FML

#3764935
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47708) - you deserved it (2963)

On 07/15/2009 at 1:04am - love - by wtf (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. And I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML

#5039169
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40033) - you deserved it (2963)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by no_hullabalo (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-wan)

Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML

#19941503
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21348) - you deserved it (2963)

On 07/15/2012 at 3:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

#20750993
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41165) - you deserved it (2963)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by keiran123 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via facebook. I don't even have a facebook. My friends had to tell me. FML

#14160726
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33922) - you deserved it (2962)

On 12/11/2010 at 12:05am - love - by itsover (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got fired via text. The last sentence was, "Wish you the best, take care!" FML

#16476285
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26642) - you deserved it (2962)

On 06/02/2011 at 11:08pm - work - by amf (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my neighbour was practicing his opera singing, drunk. FML

#20869663
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32185) - you deserved it (2962)

On 09/05/2013 at 11:27pm - misc - by Thesuz - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was in a music shop looking for a new guitar when someone called out someone else's name and jumped on my back. I lost balance and fell forward and broke 3 guitars and damaged another 6. The guy said "Sorry, thought you were someone else" and ran out. I now have to pay £2500. FML

#3741776
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63120) - you deserved it (2961)

On 07/14/2009 at 9:39am - money - by SomeoneElse (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

#6433881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38924) - you deserved it (2961)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML

#20145433
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37446) - you deserved it (2961)

On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - intimacy - by heartbroke (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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