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Today, my hay-fever started. I'm five months pregnant, and every time I cough, sneeze or blow my nose I either fart or wet myself. FML

#19243169
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29352) - you deserved it (2740)

On 03/08/2012 at 11:53pm - health - by radiating (woman) -

Today, I walked in on my mom drenched in tears, barely able to speak. I ran to get her some tissues and a nice cup of tea to calm her down. After a few minutes of sitting in silence, I asked her if she wanted to talk about what happened. She watched an episode of Gossip Girl. FML

#20491267
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27866) - you deserved it (2740)

On 02/03/2013 at 4:58am - misc - by wetqueefa (man) - United States (California)

Today, I happily announced that I'm getting married. My dad immediately shot back, "And I'm getting E.D., who gives a damn?" Just when I thought he was joking, he muttered that "the bitch" will take everything in our divorce. Moment ruined. FML

#21235893
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34068) - you deserved it (2740)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up. He greeted me with a winning smile, a belch, and the words, "Nice tits." I'm beginning to lose hope. FML

#21265612
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29818) - you deserved it (2742)

On 09/26/2014 at 2:56am - love - by bri_sci94 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the guy I was seeing put candles all over his room to make things romantic. As we were getting it on, a plastic bag caught fire next to the bed. He had the brilliant idea to wave it around to put it out. Burning pieces of plastic landed on my arm. FML

#6045813
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16703) - you deserved it (2739)

On 10/28/2009 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by LadySteph12 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while at my tutoring job, a middle school kid couldn't find a word in the online dictionary. I told him he could check a regular paperback dictionary. His response was, "That's what you did in your day. That's not what we do in our day." I'm only 19. FML

#8779479
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24007) - you deserved it (2739)

On 03/02/2010 at 7:00pm - kids - by csc4lyfe09 - United States (Kansas)

Today, school tuition has taken up so much of my paycheck that the only thing I had to eat for dinner was applesauce. FML

#18889055
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29060) - you deserved it (2739)

On 01/23/2012 at 9:19am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML

#19349740
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26583) - you deserved it (2739)

On 03/26/2012 at 5:11am - intimacy - by pmek - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my co-workers agreed that I was the one causing the elevator to be over its weight limit. When I protested, saying that I only weigh around 150 pounds, one asked me if that included the weight of my wheelchair. They made me get out. FML

#17861695
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39319) - you deserved it (2738)

On 09/29/2011 at 3:34am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's flat. As I came out of the toilet he walked over, took my hand, looked at me and whispered, "You washed your hands. Good." in an extremely creepy manner. FML

#19605689
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18384) - you deserved it (2738)

On 05/11/2012 at 1:03am - misc - by Lizofsmeg (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend's mother introduced me as his "friend". We've been together for 10 years. FML

#19947212
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26098) - you deserved it (2738)

On 07/16/2012 at 8:58pm - love - by lurna301 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to get new shoes. I'm a pretty tall girl and I have proportional feet. I asked the cute guy who worked there for a size 9.5. He burst into laughter before putting on a shocked face and saying, "Oh wait... You're serious." Goodbye, self esteem. FML

#20757181
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42254) - you deserved it (2738)

On 07/01/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by theyre not THAT big. (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, playing soccer, I jumped up to make a header and clear the ball away from our goal. I got the ball but some guy kicked me in the face. I was taken off. All the parents were horrified, saying how badly my nose must have broken. Turns out my nose was fine. That's just how my nose looks. FML

#20979759
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36899) - you deserved it (2738)

On 12/03/2013 at 9:03pm - health - by supras (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)



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