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Today, waking up I noticed that my female boss had texted me during the night, telling me she wants me bad. I'm a woman, happily married to a man, and now have to turn her down somehow and not get fired in the process. FML

#13700074
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34733) - you deserved it (3115)

On 11/03/2010 at 10:35am - intimacy - by tuppu (woman) - Finland

Today, my mum's boyfriend came back from a job up-state. He is now walking around the house in boxers to "show off his tan". He has a beer gut and a hairy back. FML

#16640907
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31789) - you deserved it (3115)

On 06/13/2011 at 4:58am - misc - by disgusteddaughter (woman) - Australia

Today, my wife knows tattoos are a huge turnoff for me. She decided the best way to change my mind about them would be to get one. Across her neck. Of our dog's name. FML

#20069857
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29062) - you deserved it (3115)

On 09/13/2012 at 2:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, a drunk man walked into my house at 2pm, screaming out, "Honey, I'm home!" He had the wrong house, but it looks like I've finally met my new neighbour. FML

#20895601
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36795) - you deserved it (3115)

On 09/25/2013 at 12:35pm - misc - by nicetomeetyou2 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was walking home, a car drove through a puddle and splashed me like in a cheesy movie. As if that wasn't annoying enough, the driver had to pull over because she was laughing too hard. FML

#20907968
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44220) - you deserved it (3115)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by CelibateHero (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to the doctor to talk about my depression and low self-esteem. He told me that I shouldn't think of myself as a fat pig for being overweight. I don't think that and I'm NOT overweight. FML

#3462
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25006) - you deserved it (3114)

On 01/29/2009 at 5:46pm - health - by Coley - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my father sent me a letter in the mail. He spelled my first name wrong on the front of the envelope. I'm turning 28 years old and my own father doesn't know that my name has two "t"s in it. FML

Today, I watched my grandfather try and park his car inside the storage area for shopping carts, thinking it was a parking space. FML

#14934394
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24972) - you deserved it (3114)

On 02/11/2011 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I contacted my biological father, after not speaking to him for some years, as we had a very strained relationship. I received an automated response. It's probably the best conversation we have ever had. FML

#16328382
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26691) - you deserved it (3114)

On 05/24/2011 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, at work, I slipped and fell on my backside. The creepy security guard offered to 'kiss it better.' FML

#18724362
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29973) - you deserved it (3114)

On 01/06/2012 at 6:40am - intimacy - by only 10 more hours to go (woman) - United States

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

#20144826
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30473) - you deserved it (3114)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, I went to an over-crowded grocery store. As I reached the front of a long line, I noticed that a cart had been abandoned in everybody's way. Trying to be helpful, I moved it to the side. An enormous woman then shoved me and yelled at me for "pushing her property around." FML

#20953468
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36380) - you deserved it (3114)

On 11/11/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by PainStressLife - United States (California)

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML

#21351571
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44817) - you deserved it (3115)

On 02/07/2015 at 4:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)



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