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Today, after staying up all night with an excruciating headache, it finally went away. I crawled into bed and snuggled up to my husband only to have him shift positions and elbow me right in the head. FML

#18534039
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26822) - you deserved it (2725)

On 12/17/2011 at 6:09am - health - by wideawakeandinpain - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my apartment has been echoing all day with the wails of my cat, Butters. He's yet again managed to trap himself in the umbrella stand. In the past, he has eventually gotten himself out, but this time I think I might have to use a hacksaw. FML

#19684579
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17136) - you deserved it (2725)

On 05/26/2012 at 5:35pm - misc - by Dom - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, I got home from work to find my boyfriend sobbing hysterically over the death of his cat. The only cat he could be talking about is the one on his Sims account. FML

#19505597
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23628) - you deserved it (2725)

On 04/21/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, my friend started choking while at a Hard Rock Cafe. I jumped up and tried to give her the Heimlich maneuver, only for her to throw up all over the table and stagger out of the place. I stood there as the waiter asked if I wanted to split the bill. FML

Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me. Why? His best mate got dumped yesterday and my boyfriend thought it would be 'more fun' to be 'single lads together'. FML

#18513087
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28613) - you deserved it (2724)

On 12/14/2011 at 6:00pm - love - by dumped (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I realized the only reason I was invited to go on vacation with my extended family was so I could babysit everyone's children while the adults go out and have fun. FML

#20850802
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38358) - you deserved it (2724)

On 08/23/2013 at 1:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was cussed out by a customer who was unhappy, and he asked to speak with my manager. When I told him I owned the store, he said that that was the problem. Apparently women are "too flaky" to run a bakery properly. FML

#20964215
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41673) - you deserved it (2724)

On 11/20/2013 at 2:59am - work - by bakingwomannnnnnnn (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking to a meeting and saw two girls trying to jump start a car in the rain. Thinking I'd be a gentleman and help them, I offered to assist. The girl whose car is broken down looks at me, looks at her friend, and says, "I think we'd better call the police." FML

#130566
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37870) - you deserved it (2723)

On 02/25/2009 at 1:19am - misc - by Godfree (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I received an email invitation to a dating web site. It was from my father-in-law. FML

#5881
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39421) - you deserved it (2723)

On 02/03/2009 at 2:54am - intimacy - by Mavis (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my tonsils swelled to roughly the size of golf balls. My mom refuses to take me to the hospital because she's convinced I got it from kissing someone, and until I "fess up", she's not budging. FML

#17109448
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35109) - you deserved it (2723)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:21pm - health - by Eden - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom took me to dinner. She told me about an argument that she and her boyfriend had, and she showed me the texts. While reading, I learned that she smells his dick before sucking it. FML

#19814133
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29610) - you deserved it (2723)

On 06/19/2012 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by lisahb - United States (Michigan)

Today, I started my first day of work at my new job. They had a section in the parking lot for employees only, so I parked there. Apparently, my boss didn't recognize my car, and had it towed. FML

#15825152
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28971) - you deserved it (2722)

On 04/17/2011 at 7:18pm - work - by sdgsfvbkuhkj (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I married the man of my dreams. At the after-party, my psycho grandma stood up, called for quiet, and engaged in a long rant about how this was "the beginning of the end" and advising everyone that the secret to a successful marriage is "cheating, plain and simple". FML

#17539435
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29709) - you deserved it (2722)

On 08/21/2011 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)



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