Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while working at Starbucks, a customer spilled her drink all over the counter. After I cleaned up her spill and remade the drink (for free), she exclaimed "Thanks! I should really tip you!" Then she turned around, walked directly past the tip jar, and left the store. FML

#4511734
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43193) - you deserved it (3016)

On 08/13/2009 at 9:59pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad finally used the electric shaver I bought him for Christmas. My dog now has bald patches. FML

#6987202
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21116) - you deserved it (3016)

On 12/28/2009 at 2:30am - animals - by dumbdad (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was awoken at 1:30am by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML

#7231229
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44883) - you deserved it (3016)

On 01/09/2010 at 3:40am - misc - by Fran (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, after weeks of allowing my parents to borrow money, I got a check for $2000. I took it to the bank only to find out it was fake. FML

#13094289
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27911) - you deserved it (3016)

On 09/18/2010 at 1:39am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

#8894345
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33625) - you deserved it (3016)

On 03/07/2010 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by woopdeedo_1 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I had to endure a long drive from Poland to England. We weren't allowed to open our windows. My mum threw up. Twice. FML

#12430167
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30389) - you deserved it (3016)

On 08/10/2010 at 9:46am - health - by travelsickness - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, my mother keyed my car because I wouldn't invite her into my home and get her a cup of tea, so she could continue screaming that she was going to kill me while I tried to feed my 4 month old daughter. The last time I got her a cup of tea she threw it in my face. FML

Today, my roommate informed me that one of her scorpions is loose in our apartment again. Great. FML

#17895796
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31092) - you deserved it (3016)

On 10/03/2011 at 1:58pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I found out that due to the fact that I got divorced, the insurance for my car is going up. A year after she took everything, she is still costing me money. FML

#18922486
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24862) - you deserved it (3016)

On 01/27/2012 at 1:54am - money - by dust - Japan

Today, my parents made a list of all the things they could have done had I not been born. FML

#19812575
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31241) - you deserved it (3016)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by theunborn - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, after having spent years staying in school, working hard to achieve good grades, and avoiding all the bad kids, my mom accused me of having no direction in life and complained about how I haven't given her a grandchild yet. I'm 19. FML

#20710020
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53347) - you deserved it (3016)

On 06/06/2013 at 4:51pm - misc - by luciazee (woman) - Peru (Lima)

Today, I was fined because my son pushed the alarm button in the elevator. Why? There was a spider in there. FML

#7113361
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25971) - you deserved it (3015)

On 01/02/2010 at 10:22pm - kids - by arachnidphobia (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML

#20668592
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47209) - you deserved it (3015)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:25am - misc - by Jololol - United States



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: