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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I just got back from a two week vacation. I live with six people and only the dog was happy to see me. FML

#21252441
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35358) - you deserved it (3440)

On 09/05/2014 at 2:54pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I ripped my stitches while taking a shit. FML

#21389247
106 comments

Today, I walked downstairs in a new outfit, after dieting for 3 months, and losing just over 20 pounds. My mom took one look at me and said "You'd better keep going." FML

#134892
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48890) - you deserved it (3439)

On 02/25/2009 at 5:06pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting in my chemistry class when a sick girl behind me asked "Can I go to the bathroom?" My teacher, being smart said, "Don't you mean MAY I use the bathroom?" Meanwhile, the girl behind me started throwing up all over her desk and me. FML

#901011
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68169) - you deserved it (3439)

On 04/10/2009 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned that when your mom sprays a hornets' nest, and they come after you, that jumping in the pool doesn't help. They hover and wait for you to surface. FML

#17248199
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40140) - you deserved it (3439)

On 07/25/2011 at 12:14am - health - by sisi9999 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, My roommate texted me and warned me to be careful on the stairs leading to our place because they were icy. I got the message. After I fell down an entire flight of stone stairs. FML

#12686
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27666) - you deserved it (3438)

On 02/06/2009 at 11:58pm - misc - by CBM2012 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because she found a bra in my cupboard. It was hers. FML

#5389854
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43666) - you deserved it (3438)

On 09/21/2009 at 6:53am - love - by Wronged (man) - Singapore

Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML

#14898622
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36906) - you deserved it (3438)

On 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I went to a New Year's party with my boyfriend. Later into the night, he got drunk, and left me there to go to another party with his friends. I have no car, and no way to get home. FML

#14417379
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26001) - you deserved it (3438)

On 01/01/2011 at 12:27am - misc - by Alana - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I opened my Father's Day present from my mother-in-law. It was a glamor shot of her. FML

#16757277
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34307) - you deserved it (3438)

On 06/20/2011 at 1:57am - misc - by firethorn - United States (Texas)

Today, my drunk sister came in my room at 2 in the morning, sat on the side of my bed, fell off, knocked over my glass of water, which ruined my new phone, then got angry at me for getting angry with her. She then slammed my door, which made all the photo frames smash to the ground. FML

#18147280
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39745) - you deserved it (3438)

On 11/03/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by bethany - Australia

Today, I was invited to my friend's wedding. I wouldn't mind, but she chose her now fiancé over me, despite him being in prison for assault, a heroin addict and a general dick. This was all because I accidentally called her stupid three years ago. FML

#21486098
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22018) - you deserved it (3438)

On 10/30/2015 at 9:27am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (East Lothian)

Today, my fiancé of two years told me he was bored of me and he'd just prolonged the engagement to see if anyone more interesting would come along in the mean time. He was upset because no one did. FML

#2595343
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59490) - you deserved it (3437)

On 06/04/2009 at 10:46am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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