Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I watched my grandfather try and park his car inside the storage area for shopping carts, thinking it was a parking space. FML

#14934394
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24971) - you deserved it (3114)

On 02/11/2011 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at work, I slipped and fell on my backside. The creepy security guard offered to 'kiss it better.' FML

#18724362
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29973) - you deserved it (3114)

On 01/06/2012 at 6:40am - intimacy - by only 10 more hours to go (woman) - United States

Today, I went to an over-crowded grocery store. As I reached the front of a long line, I noticed that a cart had been abandoned in everybody's way. Trying to be helpful, I moved it to the side. An enormous woman then shoved me and yelled at me for "pushing her property around." FML

#20953468
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36376) - you deserved it (3114)

On 11/11/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by PainStressLife - United States (California)

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML

#21351571
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44814) - you deserved it (3114)

On 02/07/2015 at 4:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML

#3129056
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51288) - you deserved it (3113)

On 06/22/2009 at 8:21pm - work - by the_captain (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML

#10628803
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36014) - you deserved it (3113)

On 05/19/2010 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by GrossedOutKary (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, I contacted my biological father, after not speaking to him for some years, as we had a very strained relationship. I received an automated response. It's probably the best conversation we have ever had. FML

#16328382
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26688) - you deserved it (3113)

On 05/24/2011 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, after having my car been broken into the day before because I didn't lock it, I made sure I locked my doors. When I got off shift and entered the parking lot, I noticed a brick had been thrown through my windshield and a note that said, "Nice Try". FML

#17037512
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39239) - you deserved it (3113)

On 07/09/2011 at 3:04am - misc - by JohnyP - United States (Ohio)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

#20144826
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30471) - you deserved it (3113)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, I got really excited when I got an email from a guy I've been flirting with in my math class. Turns out he thinks I stole his calculator and wants it back immediately. There goes my chance. FML

#20880890
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39419) - you deserved it (3113)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:04pm - love - by crushed (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML

#107589
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71598) - you deserved it (3112)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:21pm - love - by scotto (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my parents fought over who gets the dog when they divorce. Nothing has been said about where my brother and I will live when they split. FML

#15379189
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36555) - you deserved it (3112)

On 03/19/2011 at 5:25am - animals - by unwanted (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I tried to convince my daughter that the "To boldly go where no man has gone before" speech is from Star Trek, and is not an actual historical speech by the first man on the moon. She has decided to include it in her university essay on Neil Armstrong anyway. FML



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: