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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. As I was leaving his house I hear him shout "Hey! Wait! Sweetie, come back here!". He was talking to his cat who ran out the door behind me. FML

#4733759
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34110) - you deserved it (2999)

On 08/22/2009 at 11:39am - love - by roostergirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a birthday present from my boyfriend's mom. It was ProActiv acne solution. He tried to make me feel better by explaining it's because she wants to be able to include me in family pictures. FML

#6636501
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35922) - you deserved it (2999)

On 12/06/2009 at 5:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I found out that my grandma has been sending me birthday money every year. My mom just steals it before I ever see it. FML

#16168772
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52680) - you deserved it (2999)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:40am - money - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally finished my art project which was worth 50% of my quarterly grade. I came in 1st period to give it to her. When she turned to look at it, her elbow hit her coffee and spilled it all over the canvas. I got 60%. She said I would have had a 100%, except for the giant coffee stain. FML

#6169952
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56277) - you deserved it (2998)

On 11/05/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, after constantly checking my email for a week, I finally got a letter saying that I was accepted to take a test for a job position. The only problem is I was scheduled to test today, eight hours ago. FML

#13565475
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24315) - you deserved it (2998)

On 10/23/2010 at 6:11pm - work - by level6 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home from the hospital diagnosed with high blood pressure. It's caused by stress. My wife had a very long talk with my son about it. All the kid has been doing for the past 2 hours is scream at his Playstation. I'd rather be at the hospital. FML

#20188739
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20547) - you deserved it (2998)

On 12/02/2012 at 11:03pm - kids - by Nick (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was on the bus, heading to work, when the girl beside me started yelling at me, claiming I was staring down her shirt. I did no such thing, but the driver nonetheless stopped the bus and made me get off, all under the withering glares of the other passengers. FML

#20907593
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41509) - you deserved it (2998)

On 10/04/2013 at 8:04pm - misc - by ricky the sage (man) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML

#13300598
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21703) - you deserved it (2997)

On 10/03/2010 at 5:35am - animals - by andrea99 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's father sent me a text message that simply stated "You ruined my relationship with my daughter." I wanted to ask him for his blessing to marry his daughter. FML

#12038820
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33879) - you deserved it (2997)

On 07/22/2010 at 2:44am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally unfriended my roommate's mom on Facebook after months of her commenting on my wall multiple times a day and basically stalking me. After discovering this, she drove to our apartment to demand through hysterical tears that my roommate move out because I can't be trusted. FML

Today, I received a pair of earrings, a necklace, and some rings as a Christmas gift from my grandma. This would have been nice if I weren't a guy. This is her way of mocking me for wearing what she calls "girl colors", such as white. FML

#21004875
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38034) - you deserved it (2997)

On 12/25/2013 at 12:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a customer wandering around, looking confused. I went over and kindly asked if I could help him find anything. He said no, but that he'd help me find the teeth he'd knock out of my mouth if I didn't get lost. FML

#21248418
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35596) - you deserved it (2997)

On 08/30/2014 at 11:14am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, it was my 24th birthday. I got a card from my sister reading: "Here's to another year of complete disregard for age-appropriate developmental milestones." She was right. FML

#1490
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13739) - you deserved it (2996)

On 01/17/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by nothreat33 - United States (Maryland)



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