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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I lost my phone. On the bright side, someone found it. On the downside, they won't give it back. FML

#18105886
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27970) - you deserved it (3038)

On 10/29/2011 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a guy said to me, "I'd really love to see that smile back at my place." Trying to be cute, I asked him if he was single. He replied with, "No, but I am a dentist. I could definitely fix that crossbite." FML

#20003299
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23044) - you deserved it (3038)

On 08/05/2012 at 1:23am - health - by wut (woman) - United States

Today, I was talking to a guy at the bar and I told him I was a biology major. He promptly said, "NEXT" and moved on to the girl next to me. FML

#12870
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30354) - you deserved it (3037)

On 02/07/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by biomajor (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while putting on makeup, I got a face full of bloody scratches instead of an even skin tone. Turns out my makeup sponge was full of bits of glass. My little brother forgot to tell me he shattered a mirror beside my makeup box. FML

#6316849
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33058) - you deserved it (3037)

On 11/15/2009 at 8:46pm - kids - by redisnotmycolor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at Wal-Mart where all the aisles had been moved. An elderly woman asked me where the pet products were, so I told her that I didn't know, but showed her where they could be. An hour later, she came back with security. She'd told them I'd purposefully gotten her lost. They threw me out. FML

#13718235
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28863) - you deserved it (3037)

On 11/04/2010 at 8:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend is moving out to California to be with a girl he met while on Chatroulette. We broke up because he thought we were moving too fast. FML

#10779310
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30526) - you deserved it (3037)

On 05/26/2010 at 4:13pm - love - by Sarahfizzeller - United States (Ohio)

Today, it's my two year anniversary with my wife. She's celebrating the day with her new boyfriend. FML

#13498191
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35813) - you deserved it (3037)

On 10/18/2010 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the tree that my neighbors have neglected to cut down fell on my car. They claim that by law, they aren't responsible and don't have to pay for it. FML

#16003860
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34323) - you deserved it (3037)

On 05/01/2011 at 12:31pm - money - by me - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mom came back from a major surgery. She also had a yeast infection. I had to push the applicator in because she couldn't bend down. This cannot be unfelt. FML

#20641584
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49839) - you deserved it (3037)

On 05/04/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, while jogging, a guy tackled me and got my iPhone. Being a good runner, I caught up with him and grabbed him. Next thing I knew, I was on the ground with a policeman yelling in my ear. The guy got away. FML

#20764590
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52196) - you deserved it (3037)

On 07/05/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML

#20937007
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45501) - you deserved it (3037)

On 10/28/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Greg (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the girl I've been seeing for less than a week started raging and ended up threatening me with a knife, after I shot down her idea of getting married next month. FML

#21387401
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32266) - you deserved it (3037)

On 04/04/2015 at 6:16am - love - by Anonymous - India

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

#5724132
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42172) - you deserved it (3036)

On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom



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