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Today, my entire family of five is sharing one roll of toilet paper. My parents refuse to buy any, because my father can get it free from his work. He's forgotten to bring any home every day without fail for the past seven days. FML

#14544910
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24228) - you deserved it (3041)

On 01/11/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I overcame my fear of swimming in lakes and went for a swim. I got bitten by an eel. FML

#18451014
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29389) - you deserved it (3041)

On 12/07/2011 at 5:28am - misc - by wayne - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was driving home, when some kid on a motorbike shot in front of me from the pavement, almost running me off the road. When I confronted him, he screamed, "Watch where you're going next time!" If I could flush every last one of these human turds from the toilet of life, I would. FML

#19698892
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18164) - you deserved it (3041)

On 05/29/2012 at 1:10pm - misc - by cunting cunts (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I had horrible morning sickness, but being starving, I had some canned soup. My husband soon came into the room and commented on how the leeks in the soup looked like chunks of vomit. The visual caused me to vomit all over the table. FML

#20916778
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40582) - you deserved it (3041)

On 10/11/2013 at 6:44pm - health - by jnisla (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my coworkers continued their new favorite game: staring at me in total unnerving silence. I can't help but be reminded of serial killers. FML

#21103796
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32345) - you deserved it (3041)

On 04/03/2014 at 4:53pm - work - by Welshite - United States

Today, I discovered my parents have spent my college fund because "2012 will happen" before I graduate. FML

#14561634
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44818) - you deserved it (3040)

On 01/13/2011 at 12:48am - money - by skyhigh - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to a strange sound that sounded like a lot of water being poured into a sink. It was actually my father in law using the bathtub as a toilet. He's staying with us, and is showing no signs of leaving any time soon. He thinks this is acceptable behavior. FML

#15840429
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28761) - you deserved it (3040)

On 04/18/2011 at 10:33pm - misc - by MyS3lf - United States

Today, I told my Dad I was an alcoholic and had decided to seek help. His reply, "Don't stop drinking, you are the life of the party, funny and beautiful when you drink." FML

#21371044
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31782) - you deserved it (3040)

On 03/09/2015 at 8:15am - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

#21369938
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32609) - you deserved it (3040)

On 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by killme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dad threw up on my dress. My wedding dress. While he was walking me down the aisle. FML

#5431365
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60303) - you deserved it (3039)

On 09/23/2009 at 5:38pm - misc - by poorgirl (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of living together. She told me that she met someone else and wanted to move out. She moved out... but moved her things into my roommate's bedroom. FML

#79769
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58191) - you deserved it (3039)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:52pm - love - by killmenow (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out who the father of my sister's 4 year old son is. My husband of 7 years. FML

#5928824
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61115) - you deserved it (3039)

On 10/21/2009 at 2:31pm - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my boyfriend gushed for several minutes about how amazing it is that I suddenly look hot when he takes his glasses off. FML

#21292702
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31503) - you deserved it (3039)

On 11/05/2014 at 1:49pm - love - by aspiemeanswell (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)



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