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Today, I was riding on the bus, when I felt a weird sensation on my hair. The person behind me was petting it. FML

#17182266
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29666) - you deserved it (2682)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:29pm - misc - by imnotacat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the stalker flatmate who has been obsessed with me since I first moved into the flat two years ago, graduated. Apparently he told everyone we are an item, because his parents and relatives were smiling and taking pictures of me from their seats two rows ahead of mine at the ceremony. FML

Today, I had my first date in almost four years. Twenty minutes into our dinner date, I excused myself to use the ladies room. When I came back, not only was he gone, but there was also a security guard waiting to walk me out. I still have no clue why he left or why I got kicked out. FML

#20869864
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44859) - you deserved it (2682)

On 09/06/2013 at 2:42am - love - by thissinglelife (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my controlling, verbally abusive ex-boyfriend from nearly four years ago is still obsessed with me. Apparently, he's told everyone back home that he and I are getting married as soon as I finish college. We haven't spoken in over two years. FML

#20897674
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42536) - you deserved it (2682)

On 09/27/2013 at 2:20am - love - by kitkat3308 - United States

Today, while studying in the middle of the night, my dad came home drunk. I helped him to the sofa and after clearing up his mess, he started going on about how useless my sister Vanessa was, and how good a daughter I am. I am Vanessa. FML

#4471647
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47026) - you deserved it (2681)

On 08/12/2009 at 8:57am - misc - by dkajxu (woman) - Singapore

Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML

#17304859
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34227) - you deserved it (2681)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:15am - kids - by NaomiMadison - United States

Today, while trying to take my Christmas tree down, I learned that at some point during the last few weeks, it became home to a colony of green ants. I'm now covered in bites and terrified to go anywhere near it. FML

#20426337
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25164) - you deserved it (2681)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:54pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I was in a video chat with an old friend who I haven't talked to in years, and my mom walks in. The first thing she says is, "Did you close the toilet after you pooped? Cause today on the news I heard that your poop particles can fly up to 25 feet, landing on your toothbrush." FML

#5593248
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30403) - you deserved it (2680)

On 10/01/2009 at 9:09pm - health - by Poop (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at a baseball game. I was eating my nachos when all of the sudden I woke up in the hospital, with my dad sitting next to the bed. Apparently, I was hit with a foul ball. He kept the ball for himself. FML

#5492768
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32742) - you deserved it (2680)

On 09/26/2009 at 8:40pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, it was my 18th birthday. Nobody said anything. Gillette sent me a free razor though. FML

#7336661
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34305) - you deserved it (2680)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:57am - misc - by Lost (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML

#15205063
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37405) - you deserved it (2680)

On 03/05/2011 at 5:15am - misc - by anon (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to a text from my mother-in-law saying, "Happy birthday! I hope you have great birthday sex!" I'm now afraid to go over there for dinner tonight. FML

#19484491
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24173) - you deserved it (2680)

On 04/17/2012 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was grounded by my dad for "popping pills like a gangbanger". I take prescription ADHD medicine and a multi-vitamin. FML

#20863675
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37365) - you deserved it (2680)

On 09/01/2013 at 9:15pm - love - by zephyrgk - United States (Illinois)



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