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Today, after getting my dream job and quitting old one, I was told my position is strictly "experimental" and will only last 2 months. FML

#21411308
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29495) - you deserved it (3140)

On 05/17/2015 at 2:31am - work - by fuckkkkk - United States (California)

Today, my mother-in-law gifted us with a new microwave. I told her it was too much and we didn't really need it. Her response, "I just want my grandkids to have food that tastes good for once." I'm a chef. FML

#5448265
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38482) - you deserved it (3139)

On 09/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by badcook (woman) - United States

Today, my doctor told me my ankle has been fractured since last week. I've been helping drywall the basement, and trying to walk up and down stairs for a week. My husband has been telling me to man up, and it's not that bad. FML

Today, at work, a little girl was misbehaving. Her dad told her that she would look like me when she grows up. The little girl look horrified while Daddy laughed and kept reassuring her he was "just kidding." FML

#12897093
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31811) - you deserved it (3140)

On 09/04/2010 at 2:52am - misc - by Black Cat 13 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I checked out a "confessions" page for my university. The first confession was from a guy who whacked off in a campus restroom then used a computer in a lab without washing his hands. I work in that lab. FML

#20501884
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37144) - you deserved it (3139)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML

#20807935
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42721) - you deserved it (3140)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:23pm - work - by fuckthisandfuckthatandfuckyoutoo (man) - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of six years. She got mad at me, saying she is too young to get married and that I was trying to ruin her career. She is 32 and works part-time at a grocery store. FML

#21322620
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35837) - you deserved it (3139)

On 12/23/2014 at 10:24am - love - by got any coupons? - United States

Today, my fiancé broke off our engagement after he saw one of my baby pictures. He said our future kids just wouldn't look right. FML

#16976984
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40232) - you deserved it (3138)

On 07/04/2011 at 7:42pm - kids - by K3you - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML

#20485216
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30591) - you deserved it (3138)

On 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm - love - by theawfulpresent (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I've been unemployed for a year. For the last six months I had been trying for a good paying job at a great company, who kept saying they would hire me when the economy improves. Three weeks ago I gave up and moved 2 hours away. Guess who just called to finally offer me a job. FML

Today, my boyfriend was seated in my section at work. As he sees me his face drops... he's on a date. He had forgotten I work there. I had to serve him and his date, and they didn't leave a tip. FML

#13621862
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45341) - you deserved it (3137)

On 10/28/2010 at 12:27am - love - by heshay - United States (Texas)

Today, I was diagnosed with strep throat. My mom wasted no time accusing me of whoring around and claiming that most people get strep from performing oral sex. FML

#20750267
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43990) - you deserved it (3137)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:58pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, some girl's mom gave me a load of abuse for endangering her daughter's health. How? By deleting my Facebook account, which caused her to have a serious panic attack. Apparently she thought we were best friends, and that I was ditching her. I'm confused too. FML

#21149491
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42842) - you deserved it (3137)

On 05/23/2014 at 6:44pm - misc - by nikaea (woman) - United States (Washington)



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