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Today, my maths teacher was giving my whole class a lecture on 'if you don't pay attention at school, you will fail.' She then pointed out out a man working on the roof and said: 'if you don't listen, you will end up like that guy.' That was my dad. FML

#14596121
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45912) - you deserved it (2952)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:07am - misc - by paperbox (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a date with a woman. She brought her dog along. Every time when I touched her, the jealous male dog began to bark and tried to bite me. FML

#19253707
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24497) - you deserved it (2952)

On 03/10/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by Jimii Liu (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my demented asswipe of a lab partner thought it'd be funny to replace the birthday gift I bought for my girlfriend with the large intestine of a recently-dissected dog. My girlfriend nearly fainted when she opened the gift box, and accused me of planning the whole thing. FML

#20752461
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43179) - you deserved it (2952)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today, I had to listen to fellow classmates whine about selling one of their many houses, while I can barely afford to pay for a $100 textbook. FML

#20987288
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42545) - you deserved it (2952)

On 12/10/2013 at 1:04am - money - by thefifthdoctor - United States (Washington)

Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML

#3500742
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43235) - you deserved it (2951)

On 07/05/2009 at 8:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to shit on my floor and my cat hiding under my comforter. I have to get rid of my new fish because my cat is afraid of it. FML

#13581194
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22370) - you deserved it (2951)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm - animals - by danjoylovefun - United States (Colorado)

Today, I offered an elderly man my seat on the train. He thanked me by winking and offering me a seat on his lap. FML

#19387576
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21536) - you deserved it (2951)

On 04/01/2012 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, realized I need a new job. This happened when I was seriously considering ways to break my leg so I could stay at home for a day and not have to deal with my boss. FML

#21291344
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29124) - you deserved it (2951)

On 11/03/2014 at 4:16pm - work - by I don't want to be here anymore - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had been planning a family trip for months. My father had all his bags packed, ready to go in the car. He had my grandmother's ashes in his suitcase, and planned to spread them on a mountain. This morning our car was broken into and everything was stolen. The thief stole my grandma. FML

#3468815
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57448) - you deserved it (2950)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by noyodel (woman) - Italy

Today, I came home at noon from a long night out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and heels. As I walked up to the door and knocked to be let in, the woman whipped around and I figured out who it was. My dad. FML

#4276253
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50305) - you deserved it (2950)

On 08/04/2009 at 4:40am - misc - by superfiedman (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my dog received a christmas card before I did. FML

#6678775
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26918) - you deserved it (2950)

On 12/09/2009 at 10:33am - animals - by amywee (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I found out that after working in the same office for five years, I now work with three of my husband's ex-girlfriends. FML

#11366988
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30918) - you deserved it (2950)

On 06/21/2010 at 10:12pm - work - by lilrudegirl - Sent from mobile version

Today, at my grandparent's funeral, we were waiting for the pastor. He was fashionably late because he couldn't find his sunglasses and had gone to buy new ones. FML

#21194487
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39455) - you deserved it (2950)

On 06/30/2014 at 11:59pm - misc - by too cool (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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