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Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML

#20528775
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34089) - you deserved it (3487)

On 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm - misc - by jkbeynon - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my mother Skyping with her new "boyfriend" about the $1,000 she just sent him. She barely knew what internet dating was three weeks ago. FML

#20748170
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46416) - you deserved it (3487)

On 06/26/2013 at 10:08am - money - by weneedthatmoneytoliveon (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a customer at work said his table was dirty. I asked which one he was sitting at so I could clean it for him. For some bizarre reason he got pissed and called my manager over. He ended up reporting us to corporate, and my manager got written up. He's blaming me for everything. FML

#21163809
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44113) - you deserved it (3487)

On 06/05/2014 at 11:16am - work - by DarkSerebii (woman) - United States

Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML

#21324616
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28287) - you deserved it (3487)

On 12/26/2014 at 9:58am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my car got a wheel lock because I had 5 tickets. Three of those tickets dated back to 2006. I got my car and license in 2008. FML

#7835541
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32507) - you deserved it (3486)

On 02/03/2010 at 12:11am - money - by olyswimmer (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my pre-teen brother has started using the entire Axe line because he believes that it will give him an "edge with the ladies". He insists on using the products at least three times a day, including before bedtime. I'm allergic to anything that is perfumed. We share a room. FML

#20790014
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50828) - you deserved it (3486)

On 07/18/2013 at 5:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was babysitting a boy who was 11 years old. He told me that he loved me and wanted to be my boyfriend. I told him that I think he is a really great kid but I'm 17 so it would never work out. He said okay. When his parents came home he told them that I hit him and started crying. FML

#5035637
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53765) - you deserved it (3485)

On 09/04/2009 at 2:23am - kids - by NotYourLady (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up to a pile of hair on my floor. I looked in the mirror and realized the hair was from my head. I had a dream about cutting my hair and I guess it came true. FML

#14721795
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28382) - you deserved it (3485)

On 01/26/2011 at 4:49pm - misc - by Larz (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML

#18803544
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27858) - you deserved it (3485)

On 01/14/2012 at 6:42am - misc - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend pulling off scabs and eating them. My scabs. FML

#19448273
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41647) - you deserved it (3485)

On 04/11/2012 at 5:53am - health - by Scabby (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was playing Monopoly with my kids. It was fun, and led to some mock fights. My neighbor, who despises me for being a single mother, used it as an excuse to call the cops on me for "abusing" my kids. They were too confused to do anything but nod at the officer's accusing questions. FML

#20779851
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54114) - you deserved it (3485)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, I realized that when my dad said he would pay for my college, he really meant that he was going to forge my signature on a student loan in my name and not make payments on it. FML

#20927730
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49622) - you deserved it (3485)

On 10/20/2013 at 4:34pm - money - by oh... (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my co-worker told me how "lucky" I am that I "chose" to be a lesbian, because I don't have to deal with "guy drama". I spent two years of my adolescence sleeping at a bus stop and begging strangers for money after I got kicked out of home. FML

#21427509
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36431) - you deserved it (3485)

On 06/17/2015 at 9:31am - misc - by Lesbihonest (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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