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Today, I won a goldfish at the amusement park. My little brother took him out of the bowl because he thought he was drowning. FML

#21246787
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37053) - you deserved it (2971)

On 08/27/2014 at 10:33pm - kids - by That idiot - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me so he could sleep with my mom without feeling guilty. FML

#7304423
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34282) - you deserved it (2970)

On 01/12/2010 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by notasgood (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up feeling extremely nauseous. When I started to feel better, I felt like I needed to spit. I went into the bathroom and opened the toilet to see someone had taken a giant crap the night before and forgotten to flush. The smell made me vomit all over my feet. FML

#7234315
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25614) - you deserved it (2970)

On 01/09/2010 at 11:11am - health - by Michelle (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I hung out with the guy I've liked for the first time in 3 years. And when he left, I gave him a hug, he pushed me, I tripped, and hit my head into the wall. Then to save his embarassment, pushed me over onto the couch and pretended to rape me. FML

Today, during my family's traditional 4th of July weekend celebration, my water broke. I kept trying to tell them and asked them to take me to the hospital, but they couldn't hear me over the fireworks. They all just kept smiling and nodding. FML

#20767424
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49113) - you deserved it (2970)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML

#20971159
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42932) - you deserved it (2970)

On 11/26/2013 at 8:07am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I have dark hairs growing on my chest, nipples and stomach... I'm a 19 year old girl. FML

#841
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31781) - you deserved it (2969)

On 01/02/2009 at 1:06pm - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized the annoying squealing I hear every night isn't my guinea pig. Apparently my brothers girlfriend makes that sound when they have sex. FML

#62926
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44685) - you deserved it (2969)

On 02/17/2009 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by KTK (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, at work, I was supposed to have an easy two-hour shift, after which I was planning on attending a party that had been arranged to celebrate my graduation. Nearly six hours later, I am just getting home after being super busy and shorthanded at work for hours. I missed my own party. FML

#16052456
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28848) - you deserved it (2969)

On 05/05/2011 at 12:44am - work - by cstokes (woman) - United States

Today, in the senior class I teach, I asked my students who had traveled outside of the country, excluding Canada and Mexico. One student raised his hand and proudly stated, "Arizona". He wants to be a doctor. FML

#17980491
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28633) - you deserved it (2969)

On 10/14/2011 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, due to a flat tire, I only had 20 minutes to complete a 35 minute walk to catch my train. I ended up sprinting up the snow-covered frozen hill in heels, luggage in hand, only to arrive 1 minute in time, and to find out that the train had been cancelled. Next train in 1 hour. FML

Today, a customer threatened to come back later and shoot the whole place up. Why? I didn't give him a discount on his beer. My boss's reaction when I called the police: "Why didn't you give him the discount?!" Last week he bitched me out for letting a girl off for being a few cents short on hers. FML

#20983086
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41442) - you deserved it (2969)

On 12/06/2013 at 6:37pm - work - by eat my fucking ass, boss (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had a 5 hour exam. The exam guard had clearly eaten something funky, because she kept burping loudly. When I thought it couldn't get any worse, she started farting. FML



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