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Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML

#21283288
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42956) - you deserved it (3164)

On 10/22/2014 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by BadLuckLad (man) - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

Today, after a month of living in a pigsty of an apartment with my roommates, I spent the day cleaning the place out. When everyone returned home, instead of thanking me, all they could do was point out the spots I'd missed. FML

#17871769
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27130) - you deserved it (3163)

On 09/30/2011 at 3:45pm - misc - by ugh (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, a client refused to pay after I mowed her lawn. Her reasoning? I had entered her basement "without permission." I require on-site equipment be provided, and she kept her mower in her basement. I only knew it was in the basement because she'd showed me, and told me where the key was. FML

#20653784
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50167) - you deserved it (3163)

On 05/10/2013 at 4:24am - work - by Wealthyparrot (man) - United States

Today, I was being shown how to use a nail gun while applying for a job at a construction company. The instructor shot me in the arm with it. I didn't even get the job. FML

#21107174
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45133) - you deserved it (3163)

On 04/07/2014 at 10:13pm - work - by watch_corn_dance - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML

#21249060
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34874) - you deserved it (3163)

On 08/31/2014 at 1:51pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had an important oral report to deliver with a partner. Not only did he come in late and high, he pronounced Virginia as "Vagina" the whole way through. FML

#21257414
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36049) - you deserved it (3163)

On 09/13/2014 at 10:36am - misc - by Jamestown of Vagina (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after a relaxing week away, my husband and I came home to discover our 17 year old son crashed one of our cars against the other. FML

#21396823
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27688) - you deserved it (3163)

On 04/20/2015 at 12:57pm - money - by ihatekids - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a missed call from my dad, who hasn't talked to me in months and has vowed not to have anything to do with me. I called him back excitedly and apologized for missing his call, and we had a 20-second conversation about how his phone accidentally dialed my number. FML

#886706
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62846) - you deserved it (3162)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my sister and I got into an argument at a tennis court which ended up with her trying to run me over in the parking lot. I stepped to the side and hit her door, denting it. My parents expect me to pay for the damage caused by my sister trying to kill me. FML

#13357466
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29041) - you deserved it (3162)

On 10/07/2010 at 7:37pm - misc - by toyotasmash - United States

Today, I was closing at work when someone came in ten minutes before close (2am) and placed a huge order. I couldn't turn him away because he's my manager from my other job. He was drunk. FML

#12807710
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27248) - you deserved it (3162)

On 08/29/2010 at 4:37pm - work - by xharuki - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to a pile of hair on my floor. I looked in the mirror and realized the hair was from my head. I had a dream about cutting my hair and I guess it came true. FML

#14721795
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25077) - you deserved it (3162)

On 01/26/2011 at 4:49pm - misc - by Larz (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my computer stopped connecting to the corporate network. I know what the problem is, but our tech support is so clueless that the only thing they do is utter the dreaded words, "Did you try turning it off and back on?" Meanwhile my boss is yelling at me for not getting any work done. FML

#20849629
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37085) - you deserved it (3162)

On 08/22/2013 at 5:33pm - work - by lord kuntface (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML

#5876001
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19434) - you deserved it (3162)

On 10/18/2009 at 7:29am - intimacy - by Ignitingmylightsaber (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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