Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my wife told me that the only reason she gets it on with me is for the extra calorie burn. FML

#5702503
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19251) - you deserved it (2748)

On 10/07/2009 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by fatnick (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend decided to be very naughty and placed her underwear in my backpack. I wish she had told me, because it slipped into a folder that contained my project data for my professor. So, after class, I got sent to the Dean of Students' office to talk about sexual harassment. FML

#5605525
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33113) - you deserved it (2748)

On 10/02/2009 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that my father asked my best friend to marry him. He's 38 and we're 18. She said yes. FML

#6593768
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52660) - you deserved it (2748)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth taken out. I happen to be allergic to all types of pain medication. FML

#14286493
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35684) - you deserved it (2748)

On 12/21/2010 at 3:25pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I reached a new level of commitment in my relationship with my boyfriend. This happened when he pooped on the side of the road beside my truck, while talking and making eye contact with me while wiping. FML

#19661428
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20988) - you deserved it (2748)

On 05/22/2012 at 8:21am - love - by ordinaryday - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the sewers in my town became overloaded. My basement is now filled with other people's poo. FML

#16454235
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39694) - you deserved it (2747)

On 06/01/2011 at 4:40pm - misc - by L -

Today, my friend decided to jump out of a moving car. I had to explain to the nice old lady who stopped that my friend who was convulsing on the ground wasn't on drugs, he's just really stupid. FML

#17903189
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24895) - you deserved it (2747)

On 10/04/2011 at 11:10am - misc - by dmanrique - United States (Texas)

Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML

#17694165
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23427) - you deserved it (2747)

On 09/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by all5fingers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was introducing my American cousin to the peaceful English village I live in. Just as I was reassuring her that the people were very friendly and welcoming, a car drove past and pelted us with eggs. FML

#17811386
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22929) - you deserved it (2747)

On 09/23/2011 at 4:31am - misc - by egghead - United Kingdom

Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML

#20413058
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32408) - you deserved it (2747)

On 12/22/2012 at 3:06am - work - by Iknoweverything (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got home and noticed people were looking at my next-door neighbor's house that is for rent. Peering closer, I realized my ex-boyfriend and the girl he cheated on me with a few months ago are inside. After they left, the "for rent" sign came down. I've got new neighbors. FML

#20622139
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50308) - you deserved it (2747)

On 04/25/2013 at 11:01pm - love - by nodullmoment (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the woman I babysat for blamed me for the cut on her son's face, and fired me with no pay for not looking after him properly. He already had the cut when I arrived. FML

#20652046
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46240) - you deserved it (2747)

On 05/09/2013 at 1:44pm - kids - by rachelllynne - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my mom is convinced that my cat is the reincarnation of Vincent van Gogh. Why? He sleeps under my sunflowers and is a ginger tabby cat. FML

#20854246
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33339) - you deserved it (2747)

On 08/25/2013 at 9:16pm - animals - by KatVanGogh (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: