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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML

#18021693
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28844) - you deserved it (3042)

On 10/19/2011 at 5:40am - misc - by targe - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was helping first-graders do school work when one of them stabbed me in the face with a pencil, all because I told her that a three was backwards. FML

#18396492
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27949) - you deserved it (3042)

On 11/30/2011 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my uncle gave me a lecture on how I eat too much "unhealthy" junk food, and that it can be very harmful for me. All the while smoking a cigarette. FML

#19741419
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19371) - you deserved it (3042)

On 06/05/2012 at 10:59pm - health - by Singapore - United States (New York)

Today, my estranged father, with whom I haven't spoken in years, called me and demanded to know where his Father's Day gift was. FML

#20729234
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41759) - you deserved it (3042)

On 06/16/2013 at 12:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I've been bedridden for the past two weeks. My boyfriend casually remarked that he understands now why some people cheat on their seriously-ill partners. Thanks for adding to the stress, sweetie. FML

#20797672
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45299) - you deserved it (3042)

On 07/22/2013 at 2:30pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I was cleaning up litter from the street, when a guy asked who I work for. I said nobody and that I was just doing some community service. Before I could clarify that it was voluntary community service, he called me a "piece of shit delinquent", spat on me, and walked off. FML

#20898099
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41341) - you deserved it (3042)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:01pm - misc - by sigh (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I helped my brother propose to his girlfriend of 5 years in the spot where they had first met. As he delivered his heartfelt speech, a sizable crowd appeared. When he got down on one knee, she punched him in the gut, yelled, "I never loved you", and ran away. Now he won't talk to me. FML

#20887080
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48336) - you deserved it (3042)

On 09/18/2013 at 9:45pm - love - by ElizaZee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I met my boyfriend's very strict and traditional Korean parents. I had to listen to them while they called me a skank and how I was fat and ugly compared to nice, pretty, Korean girls. They don't know I speak Korean. FML

#14184009
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46982) - you deserved it (3041)

On 12/12/2010 at 10:03pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I got to my weekly drama group a bit late. Everyone looked surprised when I walked in. Casually, I sat down and apologised for being late. I thought everyone looked awkward, probably because it turned out I'd been kicked out of the group. The teacher had decided to announce it before making sure I'd got the email. FML

#13045584
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22855) - you deserved it (3041)

On 09/14/2010 at 4:31am - misc - by a7xforever (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I overcame my fear of swimming in lakes and went for a swim. I got bitten by an eel. FML

#18451014
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29343) - you deserved it (3041)

On 12/07/2011 at 5:28am - misc - by wayne - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML

#19391637
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39719) - you deserved it (3041)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by ohgod... - Canada (Quebec)

Today, it was the fourth time I've had major dental work done, because my dentist messed up my root canal. After almost a dozen needles, three missed work days, over $1,000, and 2 broken tools, I only have a tiny, barely-successful filling to show for it. FML

#21301373
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31429) - you deserved it (3041)

On 11/18/2014 at 12:45pm - health - by hatemydentist - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in the middle of sex with my boyfriend, my visiting brother knocked on the door saying he'd want to hear the details later. My boyfriend said, "Sure", and kept going. FML

#21346952
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28467) - you deserved it (3041)

On 01/30/2015 at 6:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)



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