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Today, I was trying to study for a test when my brother and his friends decided to play the chant game, meaning one person yells something weird and everyone else has to say it back without laughing. All I heard for about two hours was them yelling things like, "DICK NIPPLES." FML

by DIY560 / 02/23/2014 at 10:59pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was introducing me to some business partners. As he was going along telling me their names, when he introduced me, he called me by my best friend's name. FML

by ohmylantis / 05/04/2011 at 10:50am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom, because apparently I'm an idiot for not sharing her belief that chickens are mammals. She has a university degree in this stuff. FML

by James / 08/26/2011 at 2:29pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Animals

Today, the power went out at school. If it's out for more than twenty minutes, standard procedure is to let us go home. They came back on almost nineteen minutes later. FML

by anon / 10/15/2012 at 3:00pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, at work, two teenage girls caused a huge scene and told me to get lost, after I asked if they needed any help. Their reasoning: they didn't want to be helped by "someone who doesn't have a thigh gap." FML

by Hannahb17 / 08/23/2013 at 6:21pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after returning from taking my sister off to college, my parents told me that our house would be a lot quieter with my sister gone. Not because she's loud, but because she has friends and I apparently don't. FML

by AllieG33 / 09/04/2014 at 10:59pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, my younger brother helpfully pointed out that I'm the only one in my family of five who is single. He's twelve. FML

by 20singleandproudish / 10/23/2014 at 1:18am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Love

Today, I was fired from my job. The reason? My boss didn't feel comfortable paying his son's girlfriend. FML

by mysterygurll1234567 / 01/20/2010 at 12:09am / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, like always, my parents are such tightwads that they refused to turn the heating system on, despite the ball-freezing temperatures. I was so cold, I had to resort to warming my hands up over the toaster. FML

by freezingggg / 09/23/2011 at 10:33am / Reserved / Health

Today, to avoid a massive delay on our scheduled flight at the airport, we were generously moved to an earlier flight home. An hour later, our new flight had been cancelled and they told us we'd be stuck at the airport overnight. Our original flight took off fine. FML

by melyeah / 03/02/2013 at 9:14am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, I had to wake my mom up. While she was naked. On the toilet. FML

by 27161697 / 07/22/2013 at 12:45am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I actually had to explain to my husband why his habit of wiping his boogers off into our baby's hair has to stop. FML

by grossedout / 08/29/2013 at 12:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML

by hoo flung pu / 10/03/2013 at 4:26am / United States / Animals