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Today, my husband told me that occasionally I pick my nose while I sleep. I didn't believe him so he showed me the video he took of it. He wants to post it on Facebook. FML

#19995801
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21163) - you deserved it (2831)

On 08/01/2012 at 1:44am - misc - by Emily (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's my wedding day. Almost a year ago I was in a terrible car accident that nearly left me paralyzed, but I worked my ass off to be able to walk down the aisle. After a lot of blood, sweat, and tears I made it to the big day... and woke up with food poisoning. FML

#20883990
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63164) - you deserved it (2831)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - health - by somethingblue - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my brother decided it would be funny to squirt disappearing ink on my wedding dress right before I walked down the aisle. It didn't disappear. FML

#4080765
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64579) - you deserved it (2830)

On 07/27/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by randomnamehere (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I've been on the same train for two hours at a standstill due to "signal problems". We can't get off because it's "unsafe". I'm on my way home from work and I can see my house through the window. FML

#15741918
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40864) - you deserved it (2830)

On 04/11/2011 at 4:07pm - misc - by bananaman - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I bought a book by a #1 bestselling author, hoping it would distract me from having my manuscript rejected, as well as learn what made their book so successful. Now I realize I need to say stuff like, "I wish I had great boobs (hehe... boobs)" to get my works published. FML

#17696779
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22413) - you deserved it (2830)

On 09/08/2011 at 2:03pm - misc - by WishIWasAWriter (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was introduced to my dad's girlfriend of six months. I've already heard them sleeping together several time,s and seen her car pull away early in the morning. After meeting face to face, I also learned that she's only two years older than me. FML

#2709098
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65347) - you deserved it (2829)

On 06/08/2009 at 12:08am - love - by .... (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I opened my closet to get my uniform to get ready for work, and found the cat my step-mom was looking for the night before. Apparently, it snuck in there and was too stupid to miaow to be let out, but had no problem pissing all over all my stuff. FML

#8741941
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21259) - you deserved it (2829)

On 03/01/2010 at 3:30am - animals - by mav3rick91 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from this drunk man, asking for Celeste. Since I don't know any Celestes, I told him that he had the wrong number. He kept calling for her. Apparently he can't take a hint that she didn't give him her real number, and I get to deal with him. FML

#15447160
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29552) - you deserved it (2829)

On 03/23/2011 at 10:58am - misc - by jeanstein -

Today, my bike abruptly stopped working, torpedoing me headfirst into the sidewalk. I lay there in agony for a few minutes, and the only guy who saw it happen said, "Lucky you didn't get hurt!" FML

#16762129
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26132) - you deserved it (2829)

On 06/20/2011 at 12:12pm - health - by Tequila (man) - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I got a call from a man yelling and cursing at me, calling me a "selfish no-life asshole" for getting his "baby girl" pregnant. I'm 29 and she is 27 and we have been married for 3 years. FML

#17187115
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47910) - you deserved it (2829)

On 07/20/2011 at 3:40am - kids - by Harry - United States

Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML

#19117584
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28609) - you deserved it (2829)

On 02/19/2012 at 8:14pm - love - by Nicole - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my parents are 28,000 dollars in debt and that my bank account has $27.17 in it. They took my money to help pay their debt. FML

#5695296
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39202) - you deserved it (2828)

On 10/07/2009 at 12:12am - money - by armenta427 (man) - United States

Today, I was brushing my teeth when I felt a lump of something in the corner of my mouth. Naturally assuming it would be a bit of food that my toothbrush had dislodged, I spat it out into the sink. It was a woodlouse. FML

#8611277
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27888) - you deserved it (2828)

On 02/24/2010 at 7:58am - misc - by puzzled (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)



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