Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after a small fight with my girlfriend, I started to miss her, so I typed her name into Google on a whim. Surprisingly, I find a link to a blog in which the owner describes his ongoing effort to seduce my girl. During times she told me she was alone. Thanks babe. FML

#13442639
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28981) - you deserved it (3194)

On 10/14/2010 at 4:00am - love - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, I went to check if my neighbours were home to return their dog, having looked after her for a few days. I looked in the window and the place was empty. They'd moved house and stuck us with their dog. FML

#14160868
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29018) - you deserved it (3194)

On 12/11/2010 at 12:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally found out who has been sending me hate letters, it's my husband's ex-wife. They've been divorced for 7 years. FML

#16778449
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32701) - you deserved it (3194)

On 06/21/2011 at 8:25am - love - by nasty_ex - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I used a fire extinguisher for the first time. Too bad it was on my car. FML

#16523437
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26244) - you deserved it (3194)

On 06/06/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I was walking down the road when a twat on a quad-bike smashed into my leg. It seems that I should've been "walking on the right side of the pavement." FML

#18199894
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20196) - you deserved it (3194)

On 11/09/2011 at 5:57am - misc - by LukeyBoy - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML

#20167650
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23461) - you deserved it (3194)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:45am - love - by jasmith - United States (Texas)

Today, my relatives won't acknowledge my existence unless I'm posting a picture of my cat. They only talk about the cat. FML

#20946616
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35822) - you deserved it (3194)

On 11/05/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Steiner (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my prom dress came in the mail. I don't know what happened with the tailoring but not only does it not fit, but it also looks like deli meat. FML

#21396978
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25236) - you deserved it (3194)

On 04/20/2015 at 5:41pm - misc - by Deli meat prom - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that, given the correct velocity, a used condom can actually fly through a tiny window and slap you on the leg. I also found out that when you go to the window to yell at the perpetrator, they might have more ammunition. FML

Today, I was walking behind my mother when she was mowing the lawn. She unknowingly mowed over a wasps' nest that was in the grass. Guess who the wasps decided to seek revenge on. FML

Today, I went on my honeymoon to Hawaii. My family decided to surprise my new husband and I by joining us on our vacation. FML

#3345356
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82512) - you deserved it (3193)

On 06/29/2009 at 8:57pm - misc - by marriedwithfamily (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got my report card from school. I pulled my grade up in Algebra from a D to an A. My parents told me that they never expected me to accomplish this, and good job but they've already enrolled me in boarding school. So much for all that extra credit and staying late after school to study. FML

#6900701
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30295) - you deserved it (3193)

On 12/23/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by bee (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it was my grandfather's burial. As the family was about to leave, a great aunt came up to my skinny, tall and pretty cousin and told her, "Stay beautiful and kind." Then, she walked to me and said, "And you, Stay kind." FML

#5942198
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33341) - you deserved it (3193)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:26am - misc - by kthx (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: