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Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

#4081805
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63793) - you deserved it (3256)

On 07/27/2009 at 3:07pm - misc - by webperson04 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my fiancé suggested we bring his elderly mother with us on our honeymoon. FML

#14422998
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36176) - you deserved it (3256)

On 01/01/2011 at 8:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boss threatened to fire me because of a tattoo I have. It's a small teddy bear on my leg with my parents' names on it. My workplace has no problems with tattoos, but my boss said it was "unoriginal and lame." It's a memorial tattoo; my parents died last year. FML

#20560852
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51651) - you deserved it (3256)

On 03/26/2013 at 10:54am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, things heated up with the new guy I've been seeing for a couple of weeks, he kept saying things like "I want you so bad" and "it's going to take hours" to the point that I was so hot, I decided to go for it. Apparently he has "a problem sometimes" getting it up. FML

#7753113
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17407) - you deserved it (3255)

On 01/31/2010 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by unsatisfied (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML

#8921523
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28277) - you deserved it (3255)

On 03/08/2010 at 3:54pm - love - by HaleyIsabelle - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dad, under threats of disowning me, insisted that I offer my sister a job in my company. I run my own law firm, she is a hairdresser. FML

#20838513
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50715) - you deserved it (3255)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:34am - work - by lawman (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I had to go tree shopping with my dad and some of his work buddies. It hit its lowest point when one loudly told us about a crap handjob he got recently. "I mean yeah, choke the cock," he said, "but don't choke it to DEATH, nam'sayin'?" I'd never wanted to just drop dead more. FML

#20993322
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37211) - you deserved it (3255)

On 12/15/2013 at 12:18pm - misc - by ANONYMOUS -_- (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my father yelled at me for changing 1 of his 2 programable seat positions in his car because he uses both. Apparently, 1 is for sober driving and 2 is for high/drunk driving. Go dad. FML

#7353049
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28162) - you deserved it (3254)

On 01/15/2010 at 2:24am - misc - by Goobie (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss called me into his office. Expecting a long overdue promotion, I hurried in. Instead, he told me he thought I would be perfect to take his son on a pity date, because he is at a suicide risk from depression. FML

#16338194
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34639) - you deserved it (3254)

On 05/25/2011 at 1:21am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

#20867818
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47297) - you deserved it (3254)

On 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm - work - by dear god help me. - United States (Hawaii)

Today, at the train station a woman's baggage had gotten stuck in the ticket barriers, so I used my ticket to unlock the barriers for her but told her to wait so I could get through too. She didn't wait. And I got painfully stuck in the barriers whilst I watched my train go by. FML

#21337468
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32361) - you deserved it (3254)

On 01/15/2015 at 6:35am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I was reading through a local wedding mag's advice page. A mother-in-law to be was writing about how to handle wanting her son to break off his engagement. I thought, "Wow. That must suck. I'm glad I like my mother-in-law to be." And then I saw her name. FML

#2593216
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71502) - you deserved it (3253)

On 06/04/2009 at 7:11am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I graduated from college with two undergrad degrees in biochem and wildlife biology, with high distinction. My mom told me she had found me a job at a petting zoo. I thought she was joking. She then said sternly "I want grandkids. At least you will meet girls there." FML

#1798855
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47513) - you deserved it (3253)

On 05/10/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nebraska)



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