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Today, I attempted to bleach the little hairs above my lip. I had it on for about 15 seconds. Turns out that the horrible stinging that I had felt meant that it was not just working, but also eating through my skin at the same time. FML

by AlmightyVoice / 08/07/2016 at 7:38am / United States (Michigan) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was fired from my job. The reason? My boss didn't feel comfortable paying his son's girlfriend. FML

by mysterygurll1234567 / 01/20/2010 at 12:09am / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, I found out I'm the only one in my family to wash their hands after they use the bathroom. FML

by Cheyenne / 07/11/2010 at 2:06am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, my boyfriend was introducing me to some business partners. As he was going along telling me their names, when he introduced me, he called me by my best friend's name. FML

by ohmylantis / 05/04/2011 at 10:50am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I made a phone call in my office to my doctor. He wanted to call a prescription to my pharmacy, but wanted to know by what method I would prefer my medication. During our conversation, a group of potential clients walked in just as I exclaimed "I definitely prefer oral." FML

by me / 06/22/2012 at 3:28am / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, my friends and I were going to Applebee's. A girl we don't like invited herself along. She waited for my friend outside of the bathroom, forced her to drive her, and said, "It's okay someone will pay for me." She then ate off of everyone's plate and left before the bill came. FML

by RUFckingSrs / 12/21/2015 at 9:42pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went in my room to play my guitar. I found my Les Paul on the floor with all the strings missing. I later found out my grandma cut them off because I was playing "Devil's Music." FML

by cbarebo / 10/11/2009 at 1:21pm / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got suspended for bringing a "hazardous weapon" to school. They were earrings. FML

by christine brown / 08/26/2011 at 8:03am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was so broke I went to Costco, not to buy anything, but to eat their free food samples. FML

by thedri11 / 05/30/2012 at 9:52pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, a man with a clipboard came up to me in the street to ask me if I was happy with my life insurance. I couldn't bring myself to admit to him that I'm so clueless about my own life that I wasn't sure I was even happy with the Twix I was eating at the time. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 8:49pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, the power went out at school. If it's out for more than twenty minutes, standard procedure is to let us go home. They came back on almost nineteen minutes later. FML

by anon / 10/15/2012 at 3:00pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, to avoid a massive delay on our scheduled flight at the airport, we were generously moved to an earlier flight home. An hour later, our new flight had been cancelled and they told us we'd be stuck at the airport overnight. Our original flight took off fine. FML

by melyeah / 03/02/2013 at 9:14am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me because he felt "our religious differences kept us apart." We've never talked about anything religious. Ever. FML

by fmlimoverit / 09/11/2010 at 8:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Love