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Today, I received a phone call from my son's school. Apparently, for the past week he has been telling everyone "mummy works as a drug dealer." I'm a pharmacist. FML

Today, I found out how painful it is when your ceiling fan falls on you. FML

#17337129
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33456) - you deserved it (2890)

On 08/01/2011 at 10:46pm - misc - by Username - United States (Missouri)

Today, while on the bus, I watched a homeless man pop a pimple on his arm and eat it. FML

#19006098
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28632) - you deserved it (2890)

On 02/05/2012 at 11:09pm - misc - by dadadoo - United States (New York)

Today, my demented asswipe of a lab partner thought it'd be funny to replace the birthday gift I bought for my girlfriend with the large intestine of a recently-dissected dog. My girlfriend nearly fainted when she opened the gift box, and accused me of planning the whole thing. FML

#20752461
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42300) - you deserved it (2890)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today, my boyfriend took me on a romantic weekend away at a hotel. What is he doing now? On his computer looking up stuff on Craigslist while I am watching t.v. alone. FML

#8230215
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20290) - you deserved it (2889)

On 02/14/2010 at 12:03am - love - by lonelygirl (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

#20022255
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26816) - you deserved it (2889)

On 08/15/2012 at 7:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

#19806269
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28718) - you deserved it (2889)

On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States

Today, I could no longer handle the drum music in the apartment below me so I went to kindly ask the little old lady to shut it off before she goes to bed. Her neighbor came out while I knocked to tell me she is out of town and the music is constant so her cats don't get lonely. FML

Today, I sent a student to the dean for trying to smoke pot in my class. His mother called to complain that I publicly humiliated her son. FML

Today, I got yelled at by my mom for not being surprised enough at my surprise birthday party. She'd told me about it while drunk the night before. FML

#20870923
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42474) - you deserved it (2889)

On 09/07/2013 at 12:50am - misc - by areyoukiddingme - United States

Today, was a nice day, so I opened the sunroof and all the windows in my car. My hair started flying around and at one point it went out the sunroof. My friends thought it would be funny to close my hair in the sunroof. They laughed until they couldn't open it up again. It short-circuited. FML

#5043249
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38972) - you deserved it (2888)

On 09/04/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by badhairday (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my ex told me she still misses having sex with me. Her next text was "but it's still over." FML

#6211757
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19061) - you deserved it (2887)

On 11/08/2009 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by peacexout108 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was woken up from a nap by my cat attacking my face. Evidently, my husband thought it would be funny to shine a laser pointer on my cheek. FML

#5608454
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31683) - you deserved it (2887)

On 10/02/2009 at 6:23pm - love - by Zamaria - Sent from mobile version



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