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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my mother-in-law thought it would be appropriate to give my five-year-old daughter some bedclothes with the Playboy logo all over them. FML

#19152626
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26506) - you deserved it (3079)

On 02/24/2012 at 8:26am - kids - by Joanne (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML

#20175626
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27219) - you deserved it (3079)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:38pm - love - by jakeson12 - United Kingdom (Dundee City)

Today, my roommate's noisiest cat passed away. My previously-silent cat has decided that someone has to fill the void, and has been running around the apartment howling ever since. FML

#21391230
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26980) - you deserved it (3083)

On 04/10/2015 at 11:20am - animals - by Crazy cat lady - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I celebrated my birthday with a few friends at home. As I bent down over my cake, my friend pushed my face into it. The baker should have told me she put in a stick to support the cake. FML

#15914816
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36227) - you deserved it (3078)

On 04/25/2011 at 1:01am - misc - by Mr. Headshot -

Today, I proudly presented my research project in class that I've worked for day and night for 3 weeks straight. My teacher fell asleep. FML

#18067100
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23456) - you deserved it (3078)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I bought a car. After just ten minutes, my hub caps had been stolen. FML

#16458606
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28830) - you deserved it (3078)

On 06/01/2011 at 9:25pm - money - by GTR - United Kingdom

Today, a man with a clipboard came up to me in the street to ask me if I was happy with my life insurance. I couldn't bring myself to admit to him that I'm so clueless about my own life that I wasn't sure I was even happy with the Twix I was eating at the time. FML

#20095768
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15909) - you deserved it (3078)

On 09/30/2012 at 8:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year old son. He wriggled away and said: "If you need a teddy bear, go buy one! Or find another Simon!" FML

#697
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26971) - you deserved it (3077)

On 01/03/2009 at 10:55pm - kids - by sly - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to babysit two kids. I told them to stop fighting, or to sit on separate couches. They stopped. I asked why nobody would sit on the other couch, where I'd been sitting. They told me it was the couch their autistic brother often pees on. FML

#14792187
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27335) - you deserved it (3076)

On 01/31/2011 at 10:11pm - misc - by joxerthemighty39 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my friends and I rented a party bus, which broke down on the highway 45 minutes into the ride. I paid the guy for the whole four hours. He said he was going to flag down a car to get someone to help us. We saw him get into a car and leave. FML

#17253464
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27833) - you deserved it (3076)

On 07/25/2011 at 12:08pm - money - by tim12345 - United States

Today, my neighbor finally cut the grass on his front lawn. At 2 in the morning. FML

#17187293
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30696) - you deserved it (3077)

On 07/20/2011 at 3:55am - misc - by anon - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was so bored at my job as a receptionist that I actually got excited when the phone rang. FML

#18067160
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23225) - you deserved it (3076)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:33pm - work - by anonymous - United States

Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML

#20512577
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38770) - you deserved it (3076)

On 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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