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Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML

#20458013
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32916) - you deserved it (2698)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm - misc - by PeeFlavouredFloss (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was once again handed a document to translate along with the comment "Good luck, it doesn't make sense to begin with." If my translation doesn't, though, I will not get paid. FML

#20759632
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35491) - you deserved it (2698)

On 07/02/2013 at 10:35am - work - by Demotivation (woman) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, my fiancée broke up with me over text message while I was away for work. She later posted photos of her and her new boyfriend on Facebook, while still wearing my engagement ring. FML

#20972059
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50926) - you deserved it (2698)

On 11/27/2013 at 12:51am - love - by grantsidiots - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my wife heard that wifi could be harmful for our newborn baby's undeveloped brain box. Her solution was to switch the wifi off on our laptops. She won't listen to the flaw in her plan. FML

#17411928
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24738) - you deserved it (2697)

On 08/08/2011 at 10:01pm - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, I went to pick up some of my clothes from my boyfriend's apartment. While searching under his bed he pulled out a tank top and bra and asked if they were mine. They weren't. FML

#17384017
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30648) - you deserved it (2697)

On 08/06/2011 at 1:41am - love - by ashlyn - United States (Michigan)

Today, I talked to my father for the first time in several years. I proudly told him that I have been attending Beauty School. He looked me up and down and said, "Doesn't look like you've learned much." FML

#19772636
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22183) - you deserved it (2697)

On 06/11/2012 at 7:39pm - misc - by beautyschool22 (woman) - United States

Today, I just went to the bathroom and someone thought I was a guy. FML

#4206
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18524) - you deserved it (2696)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:26pm - misc - by Lady of Sorrows - United States (Indiana)

Today, the two and a half hours it took our poorly air conditioned taxi to go 20 miles in stop-and-go traffic was highlighted by our son projectile vomiting all over my wife, a suitcase, and the car. It ended with me having to pay both for the ride, as well as for cleaning the inside of the taxi. FML

#3834940
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35805) - you deserved it (2696)

On 07/17/2009 at 4:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, I was forced to look on in utter horror as an old lady backed out of her parking space, kept going well past the turning point, and slammed straight into my car, putting a dent in the front and shattering the headlights. FML

#15566356
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25290) - you deserved it (2696)

On 03/30/2011 at 9:07pm - misc - by JFC! (woman) - United States (California)

Today, was the fifth night I've dreamed of brushing my teeth. I wake up about three times a night because as I spit in my dream, I actually spit on my face as I'm sleeping. FML

#18995010
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22938) - you deserved it (2698)

On 02/04/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by wetdreams - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out my extremely anti-war relatives hate me because they think I served in the Army, after hearing I was "a vet". I'm a veterinarian. FML

#20876113
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43961) - you deserved it (2696)

On 09/10/2013 at 7:30pm - work - by the next james herriot (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to explain to half of my class that yes, my birthday is on the same day as Hitler's, but no, it does not make me a Nazi. FML

#20981261
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40419) - you deserved it (2696)

On 12/05/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by happy birthday to me (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up early to go to church with my parents. When I got in the car, I was struck with the worst diarrhea I've ever had in my life. My parents told me I'd be cleaning the car out when we got there, because if we turned around, we'd be late. FML

#14521261
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24043) - you deserved it (2695)

On 01/09/2011 at 2:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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