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Today, I was working Customer Service at Wal Mart. An elderly lady came to my register to return a pair of white pants. I asked her what was wrong with them and she replied "even when I had underwear on you could still see my pubic hair." The pants had hair on them. FML

#3164567
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54013) - you deserved it (2797)

On 06/24/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

#17714662
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35115) - you deserved it (2797)

On 09/10/2011 at 9:54pm - health - by sadddddd (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today I had to listen to my father lecture me on all the potential dangers of Halloween. He has a speech for every holiday, every year. I'm 28 years old. FML

#18062518
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25794) - you deserved it (2797)

On 10/24/2011 at 10:54am - misc - by StromyG2 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend told me she was going to start drinking gatorade, so she could get the body shape of the athletes on TV. When I tried to explain to her that she'd also need to work out to achieve this, she went nuts and hurled the bottle at my face. FML

#19818788
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24983) - you deserved it (2797)

On 06/20/2012 at 1:59pm - misc - by phonnah - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend tried to convince me that she never takes dumps. I told her that as long as she eats, it's a biological impossibility, but she seems to have genuinely deluded herself into thinking it's true, purely because she is a girl. FML

#19997167
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20752) - you deserved it (2797)

On 08/01/2012 at 8:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I was taken to the principal's office and bitched out about the dangerous weapon I brought to school. The "weapon" was a pocket fan. FML

#20967061
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40037) - you deserved it (2797)

On 11/22/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I flew across country to college. My luggage did not. FML

#21262400
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34236) - you deserved it (2797)

On 09/21/2014 at 11:51am - misc - by Need Clothes Now (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my roommate came back from camping. My toothbrush magically reappeared as well. FML

#21250056
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34809) - you deserved it (2797)

On 09/01/2014 at 9:53pm - health - by germophobe (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

#7212033
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33028) - you deserved it (2796)

On 01/08/2010 at 2:23am - kids - by PeanutlyDisabled - France

Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML

#20486320
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33676) - you deserved it (2796)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm - health - by cay - United States (New York)

Today, it was my father's wedding. He never really cared for me, and his fiancée is my age, but I thought it would mean a lot to him if I went. I was supposed to wait for his call the day before, so he would give me directions and tell me when it starts. He never called. FML

#4899875
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46126) - you deserved it (2795)

On 08/29/2009 at 3:21am - misc - by kkiv (woman) - Poland (Warszawa)

Today, my son thought it would be a great idea to spray a whole can of spray tan all over my freshly-painted white bathroom walls as an "experiment". He's 18. FML

#20010519
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20746) - you deserved it (2795)

On 08/08/2012 at 11:29pm - kids - by bellabreeze - United States (Maine)

Today, my OCD manager sprayed my hands with chemicals because I touched the bin while throwing away a piece of paper. My hands are now covered in itchy, unattractive rashes. FML

#20833453
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38336) - you deserved it (2795)

On 08/12/2013 at 7:19am - work - by nearly a crazy lady - United Kingdom



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