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Today, I fell down in the street when a speeding car chucked a hard-boiled egg at my butt. While I waited for the feeling in my legs to return, they came back and threw more. FML

#20958238
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37050) - you deserved it (2764)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:00am - misc - by Eggs (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was offered a job. It only took me a year and 17 interviews to get an offer, and I have a PhD. FML

#3922
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26245) - you deserved it (2763)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:37am - work - by RogerReady - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I got a migraine. I work in an arcade with lots of bright lights, loud noises and screaming children. I was stuck in there for 7 hours. FML

#19299225
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27923) - you deserved it (2763)

On 03/18/2012 at 7:06am - work - by Alli.M - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, my friend and I told each other about our boyfriends. They're both nice, kind, beautiful, talented, funny, sweet and smart. They also both have the same name. And house. And job. And car. FML

#20196037
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41489) - you deserved it (2763)

On 12/08/2012 at 5:44am - love - by ouch. - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34195) - you deserved it (2763)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for showing up at work early. His reasoning is that it looks bad when his workers show up before dawn and work later than he does. He assigned me these hours specifically to accommodate one of our clients. FML

#20725768
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41352) - you deserved it (2763)

On 06/14/2013 at 3:29pm - work - by wtfwhyfml (woman) - United States

Today, it's been three weeks since I moved to Germany with my own money, after my company's offices in Spain shut down. I was given a job at the headquarters here, only to have just found out that the whole company is now set to go into liquidation. FML

#20768805
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40295) - you deserved it (2763)

On 07/07/2013 at 3:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I was using the urinal when another guy came in. His friends decided to scare him while he was using the urinal next to mine. They jumped out at him, he turned around and ended up peeing all over me. FML

#20791582
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48018) - you deserved it (2763)

On 07/19/2013 at 12:29am - misc - by the unfortunate man - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend called me and told me to come to her college, so I did. I was greeted by the campus police who told me to stop harassing her because she no longer wants to be with me. Then they told me I was no longer welcome on campus and hereby banned. She used campus police to dump me. FML

#5029285
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47243) - you deserved it (2762)

On 09/03/2009 at 9:45pm - love - by Wow (man) - United States

Today, I was brushing my teeth when I felt a lump of something in the corner of my mouth. Naturally assuming it would be a bit of food that my toothbrush had dislodged, I spat it out into the sink. It was a woodlouse. FML

#8611277
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27269) - you deserved it (2762)

On 02/24/2010 at 7:58am - misc - by puzzled (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I was late to dinner with my anal-retentive parents because my boyfriend was too busy making cock puppets in the shower to get ready to go. FML

#8339859
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13471) - you deserved it (2762)

On 02/16/2010 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by tacolove69 - United States (California)

Today, I got my lip pierced. By the orthodontist. FML

#13518841
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35455) - you deserved it (2762)

On 10/19/2010 at 11:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML

#17361677
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43520) - you deserved it (2762)

On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)



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