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Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML

#21241796
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41567) - you deserved it (3169)

On 08/20/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by sonofaneuroticwench (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my brother joked that our dog was more attractive than I was. I looked to my mom for support, and she said "Well, she is pure bred." FML

#63875
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36475) - you deserved it (3168)

On 02/17/2009 at 9:52pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took a friend out for what I thought was date. After dinner was over and I paid, she pulled the bill out and wrote her name phone number on it for the waiter. FML

#51117
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47440) - you deserved it (3168)

On 02/16/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really cute girl comes over and says my name. At this point, my heart is pumping with excitement and I'm thinking she is going to ask for my number. She said, "Did you know someone drew a penis on your back?" FML

#8433331
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26109) - you deserved it (3168)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:32am - misc - by GeneralElement (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was driving out to a concert I've been excited about for months. I was using my GPS to guide me to the venue. It decided to guide me to an abandoned warehouse in the middle of town. FML

#20021994
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18343) - you deserved it (3168)

On 08/15/2012 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML

#20440419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35029) - you deserved it (3168)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked into my elderly client's home for my first day of work. I was immediately hit in the eye with something small, and had to get medical attention for a scratched cornea. It turns out my client likes to clip his toenails right by his front door. FML

#21088031
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38751) - you deserved it (3168)

On 03/16/2014 at 10:00am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while at work, I had to spend an hour and a half on the phone, listening to an old lady relive her entire day in excruciating detail. We're not allowed to hang up on customers, and she was extremely quick to dismiss all my attempts to steer the call back on topic. FML

#21308187
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29003) - you deserved it (3168)

On 11/29/2014 at 2:45pm - work - by gotta euthanize em all (man) - Canada

Today, I found out that 15 years ago my father threw out my college acceptance letters so that I could stay home and take over the family's funeral home business. FML

#4508324
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90462) - you deserved it (3167)

On 08/13/2009 at 7:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML

#6098895
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35649) - you deserved it (3167)

On 11/01/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by WasteOfTime (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML

#8124338
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45724) - you deserved it (3167)

On 02/11/2010 at 7:22am - misc - by Biological (man) - United States (California)

Today, I washed my hands and reached for the towel but felt something sticky. It was a house centipede. It exploded. FML

#15999869
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30693) - you deserved it (3167)

On 05/01/2011 at 2:02am - misc - by rb - United States

Today, I finally found the courage to tell my drug addict husband that I'm leaving him. He sat in his chair, denying using drugs, ever. Right after he said this, he passed out and spilled hot coffee on himself. He then denied spilling the coffee. As I was leaving, he took all of my shoes. FML

#17924214
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33173) - you deserved it (3167)

On 10/06/2011 at 10:53pm - love - by stacyyvonne - United States (Florida)



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