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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found out that my parents are 28,000 dollars in debt and that my bank account has $27.17 in it. They took my money to help pay their debt. FML

#5695296
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39199) - you deserved it (2827)

On 10/07/2009 at 12:12am - money - by armenta427 (man) - United States

Today, I woke up to a pain on my eyelid. I stumbled into the bathroom to find a huge tick attached to the edge of my eyelid. My dad used tweezers to pull it off, only the head stuck. I had to go to the doctor and sit there for 15 minutes so she could pull the rest out. FML

#11821332
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37911) - you deserved it (2827)

On 07/12/2010 at 12:31am - health - by Sarah220 - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom learned how to use the text messaging on her smartphone. I've received 37 already, and she calls after every single one to make sure I understood her. FML

#18137674
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34591) - you deserved it (2827)

On 11/02/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was on the subway when I felt like I was going to faint. I got off the train at the next stop, walked to a bench, but fell over and passed out. When I woke up, I looked around at at least 25 people, who had stepped around me, passed out, in the middle of the platform. FML

#20554927
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32929) - you deserved it (2827)

On 03/22/2013 at 11:42am - health - by wowthanksworld - United States

Today, I went to my grandfathers' funeral. As I stood there, bawling my eyes out, my aunt came over and put her arm around me. She leaned her head close to mine. I assumed she was going to say something comforting, instead she asked where I'd bought my shoes from. FML

#4251374
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41395) - you deserved it (2826)

On 08/03/2009 at 8:04am - misc - by whitneyy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that, if timed just right, the alarm function on my phone can be disabled by a text message. And my dad has an impeccable sense of timing. I was 20 minutes late for work. FML

#7974349
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23397) - you deserved it (2826)

On 02/07/2010 at 1:58pm - work - by Ishii (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was looking down at my chest and noticed the hairs growing upon it. For a 16 year old, it's pretty impressive. It's a shame that I'm a girl though. FML

#8590174
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33813) - you deserved it (2826)

On 02/23/2010 at 3:36pm - misc - by Kay (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out the reason I've been itchy for the last two weeks is because I'm now allergic to chlorine. I'm also a swimming instructor. FML

#10507279
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31058) - you deserved it (2826)

On 05/13/2010 at 1:51pm - work - by Dfacta (man) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that when the power goes out at my house, my family thinks you can no longer flush the toilet. FML

#18109822
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27455) - you deserved it (2826)

On 10/30/2011 at 7:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML

#19117584
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28599) - you deserved it (2826)

On 02/19/2012 at 8:14pm - love - by Nicole - United States (California)

Today, a tenant in my apartment block told me about a nice shady place behind our building where he often goes to relax. Curious, I went looking for it. It was a quiet and secluded courtyard. At least until a man came out of nowhere waving a hammer in my face, screaming in a foreign language. FML

#20495981
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23136) - you deserved it (2826)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, someone in my class referred to the September 11th attacks as "Nine-Elevs". FML

#21255951
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35400) - you deserved it (2826)

On 09/10/2014 at 9:47pm - misc - by no - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while my 4 year old nephew was hugging me, he stepped back and declared, "Auntie, my Pee-do is hard, but it will go away." FML

#11033
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31451) - you deserved it (2825)

On 02/05/2009 at 8:30pm - misc - by Fag_Hag (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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