Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my trusty old car decided that it no longer needed its back passenger window-pane, and that in fact the window would look a lot better smashed to pieces by the roadside. FML

#20957404
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31253) - you deserved it (2927)

On 11/14/2013 at 10:17am - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland

Today, I woke up to the news that my son had put the cat in the dryer the night before. He didn't turn it on, and the cat is just fine, but now I need a new dryer so my clothes won't smell like cat urine. FML

#7477467
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26755) - you deserved it (2926)

On 01/21/2010 at 4:40pm - kids - by nocatlover (man) - United States

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend is moving out to California to be with a girl he met while on Chatroulette. We broke up because he thought we were moving too fast. FML

#10779310
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29151) - you deserved it (2926)

On 05/26/2010 at 4:13pm - love - by Sarahfizzeller - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was jogging around the neighborhood when I went past a bar. There were lots of drunk men outside telling me to come over so they could give me the night of my life. One of those men was my grandpa. FML

#18329245
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42557) - you deserved it (2926)

On 11/23/2011 at 5:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after months of tests for mystery nerve pain, I went to get more blood taken only to leave the clinic with an empty tin to collect my bowel movements for the next 72 hours. Which needs to be refrigerated. I live with 4 other people, with one fridge. FML

#20688590
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44568) - you deserved it (2926)

On 05/27/2013 at 1:05am - health - by you're shitting me - Australia

Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML

#20937007
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44069) - you deserved it (2926)

On 10/28/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Greg (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother came over again to help me work on my Student Aid application. She also brought over the savings bonds that she has been accumulating since I was born to help pay for college. Turns out they won't reach maturity until I'm thirty. She never bothered to check out this fact. I'm screwed for college. FML

#14476476
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22347) - you deserved it (2925)

On 01/05/2011 at 5:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned why my credit score is so low. My mom stole my identity almost three years ago. Her excuse? "You didn't need good credit for anything anyways". FML

#15239468
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38828) - you deserved it (2925)

On 03/08/2011 at 10:21am - money - by MommyLovesMe (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML

#19255616
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30860) - you deserved it (2925)

On 03/11/2012 at 3:36am - love - by Tristan Brantley - United States (California)

Today, my 4-year-old son cut half of my hair when I was asleep because he thought I would look better that way. FML

#19990341
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21731) - you deserved it (2925)

On 07/29/2012 at 4:11am - kids - by ellieowenie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML

#21320716
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22238) - you deserved it (2958)

On 12/20/2014 at 2:33am - love - by qyx3lmnop24 - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom I loved her and she asked if I was going to kill myself. FML

#18155
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37523) - you deserved it (2924)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:11pm - misc - by TGIkaty - United States (California)

Today, my dad screamed at me because I've been "spending too much money". He's been out of a job for 4 months and I've been giving him 300 dollars a month to help pay for bills... and his beer. FML

#8551677
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29614) - you deserved it (2924)

On 02/22/2010 at 11:38am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: