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Today, I finally realized that the only time my mother talks to me is when she needs money. FML

#9177889
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28407) - you deserved it (2836)

On 03/18/2010 at 1:18am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had an allergy test. Not only was I allergic to 35 out of the 40 items, they also found out that I'm allergic to the latex gloves my doctor happened to be wearing. Now my entire back is covered in a rash that will last at least another week. FML

#20783362
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47222) - you deserved it (2836)

On 07/15/2013 at 12:23am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was told that I look like a cross between Roger Federer and Neil Patrick Harris. Apparently I have a big forehead and a squished face. FML

#13762185
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17867) - you deserved it (2835)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:32am - misc - by facingit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I realized I need a new job when I had to take anti-anxiety medication before meeting with my boss. Last time we met, I had a panic attack. FML

#18570101
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21937) - you deserved it (2835)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:10pm - work - by bosslady12 - United States

Today, it's my one year anniversary with my husband. I put on a sexy outfit, red dress and slinky underwear, and waited for him to get home. He walked in the door and asked me with a quizzical look if I was going out tonight. FML

#348
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27823) - you deserved it (2834)

On 11/20/2008 at 6:10am - love - by Ciabatta - Sent from mobile version

Today, I attended a focus group. Since I've been unemployed for a month now I thought the $60 would come in handy. By the time I finished someone had broken into my car, stole my GPS and MP3 player. FML

#6236488
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23328) - you deserved it (2834)

On 11/09/2009 at 10:16pm - money - by unlucky (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while working at the bakery, I slipped on a pen. I dropped the pie rack I was holding full of pies right on my face. I now have a burn mark on my cheek that looks like a swastika. FML

#13466865
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27067) - you deserved it (2834)

On 10/16/2010 at 12:41am - work - by hannahj88 - Australia

Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML

#18341424
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30903) - you deserved it (2834)

On 11/24/2011 at 9:09pm - intimacy - by vistingherfamily (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my older brother burst into my bedroom at 4 am to show me photos of sushi. FML

Today, my boyfriend dumped me so he could sleep with my mom without feeling guilty. FML

#7304423
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32725) - you deserved it (2833)

On 01/12/2010 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by notasgood (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML

#20486320
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34240) - you deserved it (2833)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm - health - by cay - United States (New York)

Today, my workplace was having a "prices are down" promotion. I had to wear a badge that said, "Down and staying down" all day, opening myself up to a lot of weirdos winking at me or saying, "Oh yeah, I bet you are". FML

#20878038
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39133) - you deserved it (2833)

On 09/12/2013 at 3:42am - work - by hawkwardd - Australia

Today, at 3:00 am, I sat with my 3 year-old adopted daughter while she tried to go back to sleep. She had had a nightmare, and I read that "not leaving" was the most important thing a father could do. My wife woke and called me a pervert for sitting there. FML

#3768718
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61886) - you deserved it (2832)

On 07/15/2009 at 4:02am - kids - by me (man) - United States (California)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

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