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Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML

#19428378
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24225) - you deserved it (3200)

On 04/08/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by Jordan - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend let out a horrible fart in the middle of sex. Even though it was clearly his, he gave me disgusted look, called me a dirty bitch, then kept going. Let's just say I didn't finish. FML

#21396154
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32883) - you deserved it (3200)

On 04/19/2015 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, we had our whole staff photo. We all had to stand up in rows in height order, as I'm tall I had to stand in the middle, at the back. I'm horribly claustrophobic and ended up fainting in front of 100 colleagues, taking down 4 people around me. FML

#19144680
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23269) - you deserved it (3199)

On 02/23/2012 at 7:11am - work - by photofaint - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she could not stand the thought of being in a relationship with a man who wears orange. This is the first time I've worn an orange shirt in at least 6 months. FML

#20521313
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32310) - you deserved it (3199)

On 02/25/2013 at 3:33am - love - by vat (man) - Hong Kong

Today, my girlfriend said I looked like ET and made me pose next to a full scale model of him while she took a picture. She's showing her friends the picture and they agree. FML

#17795407
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27425) - you deserved it (3198)

On 09/21/2011 at 12:42pm - love - by srloin (man) - United States

Today, I realized that I spend more money on gas to go to my job than what I get paid. FML

#20086643
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24584) - you deserved it (3198)

On 09/24/2012 at 2:21pm - work - by izziegrl - Mexico (Mexico)

Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend, who's already made two threats against my life, informed me that she now has a concealed carry permit. FML

#20907451
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43360) - you deserved it (3198)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I work at a food joint as a chef, and a customer found a long strand of hair in her food. The manager blamed me, even though I'm bald. FML

#21117573
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44078) - you deserved it (3198)

On 04/19/2014 at 10:39pm - work - by notmine (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, my fiancée got married. I did not. FML

#21334376
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45501) - you deserved it (3198)

On 01/10/2015 at 8:45am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, one of my regulars came up to my car in the parking lot. We talked through the window while I put on my makeup. He then asked for a hug because he won't be in for two weeks. I obliged and he was kind enough to slide his hand between my legs. He then gave me $50 not to tell his wife. FML

Today, I bit into my egg sandwich, and when I looked back into it, there were 5 long, gray, hairs leading from the sandwich into my mouth. FML

#37200
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43191) - you deserved it (3197)

On 02/13/2009 at 2:06pm - misc - by hhaannnnaahh (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that even though my sister and I are identical twins, I'm known as "The ugly one". FML

#14886724
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35973) - you deserved it (3197)

On 02/07/2011 at 8:21pm - misc - by 5minsolder (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5 am because she thought someone was watching her from the park. It was a trash can. FML

#17507897
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27218) - you deserved it (3197)

On 08/18/2011 at 6:02am - misc - by boyfriend123 - United States



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