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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend of two years. He asked me to turn off my webcam. I asked why, and he said to just trust him. Turns out it was because he didn't want to see my face as he broke up with me. FML

#17125458
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40872) - you deserved it (2787)

On 07/15/2011 at 6:21pm - love - by emily - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML

#19443097
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36130) - you deserved it (2787)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I spent the entire day at the hospital and was sent home attached to an obnoxious and somewhat painful heart monitor. I felt fine and decided to go to a bonfire with a few friends. I thought everyone was being nice until I overheard the guys referring to me as an unattractive xbox. FML

#6468992
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25667) - you deserved it (2786)

On 11/26/2009 at 9:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years had proposed to his ex a few days behind and she had declined. FML

Today, my parents got a call from my English teacher. She told them that I have 14 days of detention because I've been cutting class. I've been there every day, but apparently she never noticed me. FML

#18048344
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34797) - you deserved it (2786)

On 10/22/2011 at 7:16pm - misc - by Bree - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML

#17853519
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34878) - you deserved it (2786)

On 09/28/2011 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Sabraynay -

Today, it's been a few months since my grandfather passed away. Now all of his porn subscriptions are getting forwarded to my address. FML

#21246620
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35861) - you deserved it (2786)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:03pm - misc - by dr.mantistobagon (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my girlfriend of two months broke up with me because she said I remind her too much of her first boyfriend and it creeps her out. I've checked with all of her friends and family. I am her first boyfriend. FML

#6616832
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32948) - you deserved it (2785)

On 12/05/2009 at 2:14pm - love - by HellaBomber91 (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I spent my day alone while my parents and siblings were at school and work. Trying to be helpful, I cleaned out the fridge, did 5 loads of laundry, worked outside, fed the pets and made dinner for the entire family. The evening was spent hearing complaints of how wrong I did everything. FML

#6878679
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35037) - you deserved it (2785)

On 12/22/2009 at 2:01am - misc - by sadcinderella (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I wanted to do something special for my upcoming second anniversary with my girlfriend, so I decided to make a short animation of our lives together since we were preschoolers. In the middle of working on the storyboard, she called and broke up with me. FML

#14649899
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31910) - you deserved it (2785)

On 01/20/2011 at 12:18pm - love - by Anonymous - Philippines (Pampanga)

Today, my mom paid $40 for overnight shipping on delivery of paint for my Art major dropout sister, but insists on making me wait two weeks for my diabetes medication. FML

#15982407
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44517) - you deserved it (2785)

On 04/29/2011 at 9:00pm - health - by thanksmom - United States (California)

Today, I was denounced for being a terrible person, because my family raises chickens, some of which we eat. I was then told how cruel I am for "killing innocent birds" and that "good" people buy their meat from the supermarket. FML

#20623167
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46319) - you deserved it (2785)

On 04/26/2013 at 2:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML

#20755318
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44890) - you deserved it (2785)

On 06/30/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by unfortunate (man) - United States



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