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Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherfucking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML

#14396481
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36306) - you deserved it (2495)

On 12/30/2010 at 2:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, after being at summer camp for two weeks, my parents never showed up to take me home. A counselor had to drive me. FML

#11815113
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37470) - you deserved it (2495)

On 07/11/2010 at 7:00pm - misc - by Nancy - United States

Today, I was called a "whore," a "demon," a "piece of shit," and a "disrespectful bitch." All of this happened because I wouldn't let my mother-in-law borrow my car. This is a woman with multiple speeding tickets. FML

#18568632
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26733) - you deserved it (2495)

On 12/21/2011 at 7:39am - misc - by sigh (woman) - United States

Today, I put the little boy I nanny for in time-out. In retaliation he blasted an air horn in my face. I can only hear out of one ear now. FML

#19769607
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19171) - you deserved it (2495)

On 06/11/2012 at 7:18am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I waited over an hour for my bus. As I finally saw it approaching, I reached into my purse to grab my ticket. The lady next to me then gave the driver a hand signal to keep driving. FML

#20451303
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30698) - you deserved it (2495)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to see a movie. While buying tickets, the girl behind the counter asked to show my ID card to proof I'm at least 16 years old. Not wanting to make a drama, I showed it. She took a look at it and declared it as fake. That ID is real and I'm 24. FML

#4107036
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47454) - you deserved it (2494)

On 07/28/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Limburg)

Today, I grabbed a handful of crackers from the kitchen, only to find it crawling with bugs. Apparently, my brother had made the same discovery earlier, but put the box of crackers back in the cupboard anyway. FML

#13129116
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23348) - you deserved it (2494)

On 09/20/2010 at 3:26pm - animals - by thanksbro - United States (Michigan)

Today, was the first day all week I got to sleep in. I woke up this beautiful morning to the sun shining in my window and hundreds of carpenter ants crawling over my sheets and me. FML

#4677872
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40056) - you deserved it (2493)

On 08/20/2009 at 8:45am - misc - by tommy3824 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was sleeping in my room when I awoke to an unfamiliar female voice in my apartment followed by a thud. I walked out to find a drunk girl I've never met collapsed in my doorway. After puking all over the place, she had me call her father who picked her up 10 minutes later. FML

#6857935
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22714) - you deserved it (2493)

On 12/21/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by goblue (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML

#13822249
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27472) - you deserved it (2493)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:13am - misc - by tmac05 - United States (California)

Today, while riding the bus, a creepy guy gave me the "rape glare" and another guy repeated every word to the conversation I was having with my friend under his breath. FML

#17597780
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26243) - you deserved it (2494)

On 08/27/2011 at 7:06pm - misc - by Revalation - United States

Today, my little brother went through all the artistic anatomy reference books and colored in all the nipples and penises with a bright pink sharpie. These books were from the library. FML

#18957870
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21055) - you deserved it (2493)

On 01/31/2012 at 12:16am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML

#19177249
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22095) - you deserved it (2493)

On 02/27/2012 at 7:37pm - misc - by Username (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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