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Today, my parents posted on Facebook that they were excited that my sister was pregnant and couldn't wait to be grandparents. Last week I told them that I, a 33-year-old happily married woman, was pregnant and they told me I was ruining my life and encouraged me to have an abortion. FML

#20674602
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58490) - you deserved it (3171)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by pregnant loser apparently (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56348) - you deserved it (3171)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that what I thought was my brother gasping and groaning in his dreams most nights is actually him jacking off. FML

#21421325
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25099) - you deserved it (3171)

On 06/05/2015 at 3:11pm - intimacy - by yuck (woman) -

Today, I found my brand new tropical fish dead in its tank because my boyfriend got drunk last night and decided to pour red wine into the aquarium. FML

#5968472
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31369) - you deserved it (3170)

On 10/24/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Brinty (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dog became scared of his own food bowl. He now barks for ages every time he sees it. FML

#20629727
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38000) - you deserved it (3170)

On 04/29/2013 at 3:20am - animals - by conbon123 - United States (Oregon)

Today, while working at Home Depot, I was asked to cut some wire. When I asked her how much, she said, "From my computer to the wall". After explaining for a while that I didn't know how far that is, she left. FML

Today, my boyfriend complained that I only respond to his flirtations with exasperation and annoyance. Apparently, grunting and humping my leg like an ill-mannered dog while I'm trying to wash dishes is his way of flirting. FML

#21405919
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29821) - you deserved it (3170)

On 05/06/2015 at 10:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML

#20179174
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33576) - you deserved it (3170)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out that the money that my wife claims went into repairing her car engine actually is going towards helping her pay for a divorce. FML

#20564887
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37276) - you deserved it (3169)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:37am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my husband told me to look for a honeymoon resort, since we had to cancel it last year. I looked everything up and got all excited. Just when I asked him for payment information, he said "April Fools!" April Fools was two days ago. FML

#20573157
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37299) - you deserved it (3169)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:50pm - love - by letdown13 - United States (New York)

Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML

Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML

#21241796
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41565) - you deserved it (3169)

On 08/20/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by sonofaneuroticwench (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really cute girl comes over and says my name. At this point, my heart is pumping with excitement and I'm thinking she is going to ask for my number. She said, "Did you know someone drew a penis on your back?" FML

#8433331
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26106) - you deserved it (3168)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:32am - misc - by GeneralElement (man) - United States (Utah)



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