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Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML

#14656161
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24902) - you deserved it (3302)

On 01/20/2011 at 10:55pm - health - by Username -

Today, my girlfriend, her grandma, and I were leaving her house to eat lunch. I stubbed my toe on the door while exiting. It hurt, so I stood there shortly in pain. I heard my girlfriend's grandma call me a "pansy". I later saw blood and took off my shoe. My whole toenail had come off of my big toe. FML

#5053287
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47171) - you deserved it (3301)

On 09/05/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by HotCurry (man) - United States

Today, after watching the news, I realized the only person who has ever wished that I had a good day, or wished that I had anything pleasant for that matter, is Charlie Gibson on World News Tonight. FML

#5832745
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22194) - you deserved it (3301)

On 10/14/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by newscomes (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a drive with my girlfriend when we went past a 'Dead End' sign. She pointed to it and said it was "Foreshadowing our relationship". FML

#13754319
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32181) - you deserved it (3301)

On 11/07/2010 at 4:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after a month of living in a pigsty of an apartment with my roommates, I spent the day cleaning the place out. When everyone returned home, instead of thanking me, all they could do was point out the spots I'd missed. FML

#17871769
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28775) - you deserved it (3301)

On 09/30/2011 at 3:45pm - misc - by ugh (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I proudly presented my research project in class that I've worked for day and night for 3 weeks straight. My teacher fell asleep. FML

#18067100
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25911) - you deserved it (3301)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, one of my classmates pointed out that our professor has a habit of sucking his teeth at the end of each sentence. I'd never noticed before. I can't concentrate anymore, all I can focus on is his weird teeth noise thing. FML

#18354788
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24848) - you deserved it (3301)

On 11/26/2011 at 7:18am - work - by taternuts - Canada

Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML

#20520875
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27584) - you deserved it (3301)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by why the fuck would you do that - United States (Arizona)

Today, my now ex-girlfriend posted on Facebook that I called her a "fucking bitch". Our mutual friends were all outraged, and demanded that I treat her with respect. What she failed to mention was that I said it after finding out that she's been sleeping with my "best friend" for the past year. FML

#20564269
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47260) - you deserved it (3301)

On 03/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Hellosinglelife (man) - Trinidad and Tobago (Saint George)

Today, I had to proofread a document my boss had written. When I pointed out that he spelled "college" as "collage" multiple times, he angrily accused me of trying to make him look stupid. This is the guy who constantly boasts about his "genius" IQ level to the whole office. FML

#21071350
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39729) - you deserved it (3301)

On 02/25/2014 at 3:42pm - work - by cunting cuntface of a boss (man) - Australia

Today, My friend and I were stopped at a red light while it was pouring rain. We heard a screeching noise off in the distance and thought, "Hope someone doesn't get hit." Someone did get hit. We did. From behind. FML

#915391
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49515) - you deserved it (3300)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by RainyDay (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. The first thing my dad did was comment that given how pretty she looked in our photos, and compared to how she looks in real life, she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML

#20466661
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31403) - you deserved it (3301)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by dpap - United States (Iowa)

Today, my Dad decided to take his medicine before eating. He passed out with his face in a plate of chocolate cake. He wasn't responsive so I called the paramedics. When he got to the hospital, the doctor asked him if he knew why he was there. He replied, "Because my stupid daughter over reacted." FML

#6298520
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34449) - you deserved it (3299)

On 11/14/2009 at 7:35am - misc - by Kassiopia (woman) - United States (Florida)



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