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Today, a man tried to rob the winery I worked at by knife-point. I managed to scare him off by throwing a bottle of wine at him. My boss fired me because I broke a $25 bottle of wine. FML

#18423886
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35780) - you deserved it (2261)

On 12/04/2011 at 12:19am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I sent a text message to this girl I've been flirting with for a while now saying "How about coffee?". To which she answered "Great idea, I'll go and make myself one right now". FML

#705
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16643) - you deserved it (2260)

On 01/05/2009 at 1:16am - love - by Charly - Sent from mobile version

Today, my friend sent me the link to this website with a message that said, "You'll feel at home." FML

#3195
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16629) - you deserved it (2260)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:33pm - misc - by AKN - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I received a 4 page letter in the post from a woman telling me she was Alan's wife. She spoke about their wedding in 2004, their two beautiful kids who love their daddy very much (she included pictures), and how much she loves him. Alan is my husband of 7 years. FML

#6683091
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42816) - you deserved it (2260)

On 12/09/2009 at 6:47pm - love - by _RobotInDisguise (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I received a bouquet of flowers. I thought they might be from my crush, so I excitedly opened the card. It was from my druggie ex-boyfriend, who apparently can't move on with his life even after three years. The contents of the card? "Baby, I got you like a habit, and I can't give you up". FML

#8250207
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16401) - you deserved it (2260)

On 02/14/2010 at 1:52pm - love - by RosesAreRed (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I came home to an eviction notice after an apartment inspection. The reason? Having an unauthorized pet that could cause unnecessary damage to my suite. My pet is a goldfish. FML

#19223873
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22943) - you deserved it (2260)

On 03/05/2012 at 9:47pm - animals - by goldfish - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had my girlfriend over at my parents for dinner. When we were done, my dad went around to collect all the dirty plates and stacked them on his arm. When he got to my girlfriend, the weight became too much and he and the plates fell on top of her. FML

#19176497
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22490) - you deserved it (2260)

On 02/27/2012 at 6:09pm - love - by anonymous - United Kingdom (Doncaster)

Today, I went to get new shoes. I'm a pretty tall girl and I have proportional feet. I asked the cute guy who worked there for a size 9.5. He burst into laughter before putting on a shocked face and saying, "Oh wait... You're serious." Goodbye, self esteem. FML

#20757181
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38772) - you deserved it (2260)

On 07/01/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by theyre not THAT big. (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, a very pretty girl came up to me and asked me for my phone number. Very pleased, I give it to her with a huge smile and tell her that I can be reached at any time. I then watch her go back to her group of friends. My number was for her gay friend, who then meekly waved at me. FML

#718
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18751) - you deserved it (2259)

On 01/06/2009 at 6:58am - love - by musamalia - Sent from mobile version

Today, as I walked out the door to head to class, my neighbour's kid threw a balloon at me, filled with some kind of foul-smelling liquid that he calls "liquid ass". I had a presentation 20 minutes later and couldn't get the smell off myself in time. FML

#21100982
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34315) - you deserved it (2259)

On 03/31/2014 at 1:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Japan (Hyogo)

Today, I was walking down the hall from the livingroom. I overheard my mom telling someone how proud she was of her baby girl and how much she loved her. I thought she was referring to my first ever all "A" report card. Turns out my new kitten used its litter box correctly for the first time. FML

#5990004
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20638) - you deserved it (2258)

On 10/25/2009 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML

#13527563
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22069) - you deserved it (2258)

On 10/20/2010 at 6:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I met my boyfriend's grandparents for the first time. When my boyfriend introduced us, his grandfather smiled at me, took my hand, and said in the most polite voice, "Wow, you're not nearly as pretty as he described you." FML

#14511615
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21517) - you deserved it (2258)

On 01/08/2011 at 7:22pm - misc - by lizard (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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