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Today, my best friend had set me up on a blind date. The guy demonstrated at length that he could do different cartoon voices such as Donald Duck, Droopy and many others the entire time. Oh, and he also kept wanting to talk about his farts. FML

#8529668
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26625) - you deserved it (3290)

On 02/21/2010 at 9:12pm - love - by Court - United States (Ohio)

Today, I ran into my ex's family, and found out they are going to Europe. Funnily enough, so am I. Even funnier is the fact that we are going on the same date, at the same time, on the same flights, and the tour starts on the same day in the same place. FML

#7810675
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35101) - you deserved it (3290)

On 02/02/2010 at 9:08am - misc - by jacques (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I drove to a party after getting my car back from the shop. A thunderstorm started as I made my way there and upon arriving, the power went out. The guests decided to watch the storm from the front windows when someone mentioned how funny it would be if a tree fell on my car. Seconds later, one did. FML

#111850
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64332) - you deserved it (3289)

On 02/23/2009 at 3:08am - misc - by Jessie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, one of my friends pointed out I'm starting to get a mustache! - "You're finally a man!" To bad it's my 15th birthday, and I'm a girl. FML

#7897193
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30535) - you deserved it (3289)

On 02/05/2010 at 1:25am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was meeting my husband's old friends at his 20 year high school reunion. He introduced me as his 'friend from work' to his ex girlfriend. FML

#12224799
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38768) - you deserved it (3290)

On 07/31/2010 at 11:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

#19410577
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39768) - you deserved it (3289)

On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that my sleep-walking is so bad that I regularly text my friend while I sleep. I have no idea how many times this has happened. FML

#20455938
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26161) - you deserved it (3289)

On 01/12/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by I'm screwed - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML

#20905661
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38343) - you deserved it (3289)

On 10/03/2013 at 4:26am - animals - by hoo flung pu - United States

Today, I dug out the 5 fancy, extremely expensive candles I bought during Black Friday. I lit one up, and was delighted that it smelled so great. My mother then walked into my room and stated that it smelled "like shit". The other four were going to be a Christmas gift for her. FML

#21309261
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30892) - you deserved it (3289)

On 12/01/2014 at 2:30am - money - by shitty candles - United States (Washington)

Today, I told my Dad I was an alcoholic and had decided to seek help. His reply, "Don't stop drinking, you are the life of the party, funny and beautiful when you drink." FML

#21371044
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32988) - you deserved it (3289)

On 03/09/2015 at 8:15am - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a fifth grader gave me a note from his "father" excusing him from PE. It was riddled with spelling errors and shockingly poor grammar, so I rejected it as a blatant fake. Several hours later, I was informed by his very angry father that it wasn't actually fake. FML

#21460557
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23955) - you deserved it (3289)

On 08/25/2015 at 3:22pm - kids - by shit.jpg (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, this girl I like just told me a funny story about her pooping adventures. We shared a laugh and she told me "I could never say that to my boyfriend, but I can to you. I don't know, it's like the uglier the boy, the more comfortable I am with him." FML

#7256679
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46407) - you deserved it (3288)

On 01/10/2010 at 11:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML

#18021693
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31324) - you deserved it (3288)

On 10/19/2011 at 5:40am - misc - by targe - Australia (New South Wales)



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