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Today, my doctor told me my ankle has been fractured since last week. I've been helping drywall the basement, and trying to walk up and down stairs for a week. My husband has been telling me to man up, and it's not that bad. FML

Today, after disappearing for an unusually long period of time, my boss called the store phone while sitting on the toilet. Turns out she'd started bleeding uncontrollably from the arse, and as the only other female staff member, she needed me to go help her. FML

#15151790
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31744) - you deserved it (3136)

On 02/28/2011 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my fiancé broke off our engagement after he saw one of my baby pictures. He said our future kids just wouldn't look right. FML

#16976984
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40204) - you deserved it (3136)

On 07/04/2011 at 7:42pm - kids - by K3you - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML

#20485216
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30567) - you deserved it (3136)

On 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm - love - by theawfulpresent (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML

#20807935
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42690) - you deserved it (3136)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:23pm - work - by fuckthisandfuckthatandfuckyoutoo (man) - United States

Today, I've been unemployed for a year. For the last six months I had been trying for a good paying job at a great company, who kept saying they would hire me when the economy improves. Three weeks ago I gave up and moved 2 hours away. Guess who just called to finally offer me a job. FML

Today, to be nice, I baked cookies for my step-mom as a birthday present. I burnt my hand while putting them in the oven, but I'd hoped it would be worth it. When she got home, I gave one for her to try. She took a bite, spit it out, and threw it on the floor, asking if it was a joke or if I was really trying to poison her. FML

#12538079
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28077) - you deserved it (3135)

On 08/15/2010 at 12:05pm - health - by shinee - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend was seated in my section at work. As he sees me his face drops... he's on a date. He had forgotten I work there. I had to serve him and his date, and they didn't leave a tip. FML

#13621862
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45296) - you deserved it (3135)

On 10/28/2010 at 12:27am - love - by heshay - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML

#16474078
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44399) - you deserved it (3135)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML

#19379891
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22256) - you deserved it (3135)

On 03/31/2012 at 12:22am - health - by GetHardOrGoHome - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

#20842823
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52295) - you deserved it (3135)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:37am - kids - by DrtySnchez - United States (Georgia)

Today, my relatives won't acknowledge my existence unless I'm posting a picture of my cat. They only talk about the cat. FML

#20946616
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35102) - you deserved it (3135)

On 11/05/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Steiner (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I started a new job. Three of my Kenyan coworkers keep getting together and reminding me that having more than one wife is okay in their country. I've gotten 3 marriage proposals from married men so far. FML

#21255696
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36059) - you deserved it (3135)

On 09/10/2014 at 1:16pm - work - by notmarryingyou - United States (Washington)



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

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