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Today, I found out that my new roommate got kicked out of his old house because he pulled a gun on his old roommates and threatened them. The reason? They nagged him about dishes he left in the sink. Well, only 10 months left on the lease. FML

#18314926
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28067) - you deserved it (3032)

On 11/22/2011 at 6:36am - misc - by Charles Pennington (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML

#20156633
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23662) - you deserved it (3032)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm - kids - by john r.t. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the jewelry store to sell my wedding ring after a long and painful divorce. The shop owner took one look at it and called the cops because I tried to sell him a diamond ring that had been stolen from him 3 years ago. My ex-husband left the country a week ago. FML

#209556
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71509) - you deserved it (3032)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:42pm - misc - by ringmaster101 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

#5724132
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42095) - you deserved it (3031)

On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while putting on makeup, I got a face full of bloody scratches instead of an even skin tone. Turns out my makeup sponge was full of bits of glass. My little brother forgot to tell me he shattered a mirror beside my makeup box. FML

#6316849
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32981) - you deserved it (3031)

On 11/15/2009 at 8:46pm - kids - by redisnotmycolor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was making a snowman with my little cousin. I was collecting snow just outside the house, when out of nowhere a snowball struck me in the back of the head and caused me to headbutt the wall. I woke up a short while later to a medic telling me I had a nasty concussion. Thanks, cousin. FML

#14410593
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22496) - you deserved it (3031)

On 12/31/2010 at 3:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend is moving out to California to be with a girl he met while on Chatroulette. We broke up because he thought we were moving too fast. FML

#10779310
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30438) - you deserved it (3031)

On 05/26/2010 at 4:13pm - love - by Sarahfizzeller - United States (Ohio)

Today, there were reports of a drunk and disorderly male, and I arrived at the scene only to discover a drunk guy having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me and shouted "God save the Queen!" It's then that I remembered it was my job to do something about it. FML

#13444115
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29194) - you deserved it (3031)

On 10/14/2010 at 9:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Reserved

Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML

#15149295
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35809) - you deserved it (3031)

On 02/28/2011 at 6:21am - love - by misswhiskers (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my father was telling me that one of the benefits about his job was that the family could get discounts, then asked if I'd like some. My dad's a plastic surgeon. FML

#17826204
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25704) - you deserved it (3031)

On 09/25/2011 at 12:17am - work - by ouch. (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dog wanted to go upstairs, but she has stitches and was having trouble. So I carried her to the top, at which point she peed all over my carpet. FML

#19211891
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19800) - you deserved it (3031)

On 03/04/2012 at 12:51am - animals - by raven_teen_titan - United States (California)

Today, a guy said to me, "I'd really love to see that smile back at my place." Trying to be cute, I asked him if he was single. He replied with, "No, but I am a dentist. I could definitely fix that crossbite." FML

#20003299
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22986) - you deserved it (3031)

On 08/05/2012 at 1:23am - health - by wut (woman) - United States

Today, I was doing a science presentation about glucose. There was around 20 judges at the event who could've judged me, but instead I got judged by the only person in the whole entire world who doesn't know what glucose is and doesn't think it exists. FML

#21066140
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42128) - you deserved it (3031)

On 02/20/2014 at 12:27am - work - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



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