Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend sent out a mass text to everyone on her contact list. She's getting married in a month. I didn't propose to her. FML

#16149658
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43069) - you deserved it (3512)

On 05/12/2011 at 9:09pm - love - by Whosthegroom (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my friends and I were going to Applebee's. A girl we don't like invited herself along. She waited for my friend outside of the bathroom, forced her to drive her, and said, "It's okay someone will pay for me." She then ate off of everyone's plate and left before the bill came. FML

#21506364
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21347) - you deserved it (3512)

On 12/21/2015 at 9:42pm - misc - by RUFckingSrs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my 24th birthday. I got a card from my sister reading: "Here's to another year of complete disregard for age-appropriate developmental milestones." She was right. FML

#1490
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17362) - you deserved it (3511)

On 01/17/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by nothreat33 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out I have an incredible fear of butterflies. I discovered this after my mother took me to a butterfly sanctuary for some "mother-daughter bonding time." FML

#19748698
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22001) - you deserved it (3511)

On 06/07/2012 at 7:00am - animals - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64991) - you deserved it (3511)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I found out that, after having moved over 500 miles to begin a post-graduate degree, I'm being kicked out of the house I'm renting. We haven't yet signed agreements. Apparently I "keep the kitchen too clean". FML

#21097212
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40825) - you deserved it (3511)

On 03/26/2014 at 7:45pm - work - by homeless - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, after handing over the cash to buy my sister's car off her, she refused to sign any of the paperwork, and later put an ad on Craigslist selling the same car. I got scammed by my own sister. FML

Today, I was babysitting a little girl down the street. She pulled out her 'memory box', which contained many childhood treasures. After pulling out a variety of dresses and baby pictures, she says, "... and here's my belly button!" and plops an umbilical chord in my hands. FML

#3840283
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52883) - you deserved it (3510)

On 07/17/2009 at 8:12pm - kids - by heresmybellybotton (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, we had a lockdown in our school for 2 hours because a man was sitting outside our school in his car with a gun in hand. I texted my mom telling her what was going on and that it's on the news. She responded saying "I'll tape it". FML

#5605398
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34172) - you deserved it (3510)

On 10/02/2009 at 3:17pm - misc - by dannyboy1422 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML

#8515469
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28349) - you deserved it (3510)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by charliesangel123 (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I noticed that a picture of me on my Mum and Dad's wall looked different. On closer inspection, I realised they'd recently painted over my teeth with white paint. I asked them why, and they said they looked 'discoloured'. It's my wedding photo. FML

#17508765
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28303) - you deserved it (3510)

On 08/18/2011 at 10:11am - misc - by JLO (man) - Australia

Today, my husband wrote all these wonderful romantic messages to me via Facebook, proclaiming his love to me in front of all my friends and family. Too bad he hasn't spoken to me in "real life" for almost 3 weeks. FML

#17498431
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31829) - you deserved it (3510)

On 08/17/2011 at 8:13am - misc - by howtragic - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML

#20498382
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26564) - you deserved it (3510)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: