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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went on a date with a guy that I met at a masquerade. The moment he saw me without my mask on, he left the date. FML

#8892193
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26311) - you deserved it (3211)

On 03/07/2010 at 12:38pm - misc - by workinggirl (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, all the while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML

#12624086
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37581) - you deserved it (3211)

On 08/19/2010 at 11:48am - misc - by feartheend511 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I came down with painful sores in my mouth, just after having gotten over a cold. Apparently I'm allergic to the cough drops I've been eating for the past week to make myself feel better. FML

#15289353
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28543) - you deserved it (3211)

On 03/13/2011 at 12:52am - misc - by Rawrssa (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a basketball game. A very pretty woman sat next to him. During the third quarter, the kiss cam came on. But it didn't show him and me, it showed him and the other girl. And they kissed. FML

#19426684
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45858) - you deserved it (3211)

On 04/07/2012 at 11:19pm - love - by jordyn173 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

#20492744
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27865) - you deserved it (3211)

On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, a coworker jokingly noted that my signature looks like "Pedo". I couldn't see it that way, so I asked some other people for their opinion. They confessed they'd always thought it looked like "Pedo", but never said anything. My name is Peele. I've been signing it off as Pedo for 10 years. FML

#21381199
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26752) - you deserved it (3211)

On 03/25/2015 at 9:10am - misc - by peele - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I asked a guy out on a coffee date, and we started talking about our mutual careers. At the end of the date he asked me if I had any more questions about job opportunities or any more advice, then shook my hand and gave me his contact card. FML

#5748
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23842) - you deserved it (3210)

On 02/02/2009 at 7:54pm - love - by myrie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the movies. Two teenagers behind me had already seen the picture once and shared the entire plot with their friend during first 10 minutes. The finale was intended to be a great twist and I knew it from the very beginning. FML

#13994569
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30081) - you deserved it (3210)

On 11/27/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by nanuka_g - United States (Connecticut)

Today, at my job as a produce clerk at a grocery store, I had an entire conversation with my coworker about how nice the new cabbage boxes are. This is all it takes to thrill me these days. FML

#18078433
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23620) - you deserved it (3210)

On 10/26/2011 at 2:36am - work - by insanitycalling - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was in the shower, oblivious to the outside world, when four police officers who had apparently been banging at my door, entered by force. They were doing a bust on a weed farm and got the wrong house. FML

#20811532
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53062) - you deserved it (3210)

On 07/30/2013 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend broke things off, because he says I have a "horrible, horrible personality" and that I'm only really fuck-buddy material, which is a problem because he wants something long-term. We've been dating for three years. FML

#21261219
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34204) - you deserved it (3210)

On 09/19/2014 at 12:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, I broke my dominant hand. My teacher insists we hand-write our essays. I called and asked if it was okay for me to type up the essays. She said no. I have two essays due tomorrow, which count for half my grade. FML

#7545695
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31194) - you deserved it (3209)

On 01/24/2010 at 2:29pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, it was my one year anniversary with my boyfriend. We had dinner reservations to an expensive restaurant and planned to see a movie after. At least, we did, until he called to tell me he'd volunteered to work tonight. He won't get off until 2am. FML

#8824480
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23296) - you deserved it (3209)

On 03/04/2010 at 3:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)



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