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Today, my mother "checked in" to rehab on Facebook. The same rehab that told her to hand over her smartphone. The dumbass was smart enough to steal my phone and dumb enough to get it confiscated. FML

#20485491
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24219) - you deserved it (2263)

On 01/29/2013 at 10:18pm - health - by motherless - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I spent five hours in the ER with my 75-year-old grandma. Why? Because she attacked an old lady and punched a nurse in the face, kicked him in the balls, and jumped on his back and choked him. She had five guards holding her down and is now convinced they are trying to kill her. FML

#20846626
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39616) - you deserved it (2263)

On 08/20/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by Oh Grandma... - United States (Ohio)

Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML

#20858925
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34701) - you deserved it (2263)

On 08/29/2013 at 5:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to a man stroking my leg while smelling my hair. I asked my roommate who he was and she said, "Oh, that's just my brother. He needs a place to stay and he will be living with us until June. Didn't I tell you that?" No, you didn't. FML

#13948319
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29195) - you deserved it (2262)

On 11/23/2010 at 10:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my grandmother's excuse for not going to my college graduation was because she'd already bought her bingo card. FML

#16514185
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27395) - you deserved it (2262)

On 06/05/2011 at 2:15pm - misc - by xXEndlesslullabyXx - United States (New York)

Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML

#17508595
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32684) - you deserved it (2262)

On 08/18/2011 at 9:38am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bexley)

Today, I was pulled over for going the wrong way on a closed highway. The construction signs pointed me in that direction, and the cop agreed that they should be fixed. Did it stop him from giving me a ticket anyway? Nope. FML

#18096005
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30023) - you deserved it (2262)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:59am - misc - by ashleyyyy - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a seizure in class. Being an epileptic, I had warned my professor of the possibility that I could have one in class. She was understanding and seemed very concerned about my issue at the time. After I had the seizure, however, she asked me if I had ever tried exorcism. FML

#20963219
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41598) - you deserved it (2262)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:00am - health - by seizuregirl17 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at a Christmas party when I noticed someone had taken all of the cash I had from out of my wallet. It was a family gathering. I'm related to the culprit but have no idea who it is. FML

#20994219
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35403) - you deserved it (2262)

On 12/15/2013 at 11:47pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a couple of mates and me have a reservation on this fancy restaurant to celebrate Chinese New Year. I found out that 80% of our money goes to the wine tasting event that they have, a free flow of gorgeous, decent wine all around. I'm allergic to fruit. I'll stick to my 20RMB water bottle. FML

#2482
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13299) - you deserved it (2261)

On 01/24/2009 at 8:36pm - health - by anx133 - China (Shanghai)

Today, my Dad decided to take his medicine before eating. He passed out with his face in a plate of chocolate cake. He wasn't responsive so I called the paramedics. When he got to the hospital, the doctor asked him if he knew why he was there. He replied, "Because my stupid daughter over reacted." FML

#6298520
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26231) - you deserved it (2261)

On 11/14/2009 at 7:35am - misc - by Kassiopia (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my father went out to get batteries for the remote control helicopter I bought him for Christmas. In his excitement, he backed his truck into my car. FML

#6947126
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18834) - you deserved it (2261)

On 12/25/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after some filing mistakes, and a lot of waiting on hold, I'm finally registered for Spring classes. I was ready to enjoy this term, until I found out that my ex, who was forced into therapy after he threatened to kill me, is in half of my classes. FML

#14622823
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25893) - you deserved it (2261)

On 01/18/2011 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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