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Today, my son thought it would be a great idea to spray a whole can of spray tan all over my freshly-painted white bathroom walls as an "experiment". He's 18. FML

#20010519
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20733) - you deserved it (2794)

On 08/08/2012 at 11:29pm - kids - by bellabreeze - United States (Maine)

Today, my friends started calling me "Soberman" because I recently gave up alcohol and have a Doberman. Normally, I wouldn't mind the nickname, but they call me Soberman everywhere. My new boss now thinks it's because I AM an alcoholic. FML

#20964266
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37501) - you deserved it (2794)

On 11/20/2013 at 6:09am - misc - by juice723 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had my first day off in weeks. I was excited about getting to sleep in, until my boss called me at 6:30 in the morning to remind me I didn't have to come into work. Thanks. FML

#5482829
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35060) - you deserved it (2793)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by NoSleep (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was introduced to my future stepmother, but it turns out that I already know her. Not only are we the same age and went to the same high school, when we were in the same math class together the teacher would often confuse our names because "we could pass as twins". FML

#4329050
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65179) - you deserved it (2793)

On 08/06/2009 at 4:45am - misc - by whatismydadthinking (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, my best friend told me that she is only my friend because she is prettier than me and being my friend boost her confidence. FML

#10520303
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28414) - you deserved it (2793)

On 05/14/2010 at 12:07am - misc - by fothermuckerrr - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mother started dating a man who insists people call him 'Panda'. FML

#17092208
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30556) - you deserved it (2793)

On 07/13/2011 at 9:11am - misc - by butimarealbear (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to proof-read a terrible paper containing a bunch of mistakes. It took me 4 hours and I didn't eat dinner until I was done. His response when he got it back was, "What the fuck did you do to my paper?! You bitch!" FML

#20569253
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32099) - you deserved it (2793)

On 03/31/2013 at 10:59pm - misc - by pissed_off_girl - United States (Virginia)

Today, I missed my University entrance exam because of heavy traffic. I was stuck at one intersection for over an hour. The real kicker? It took me less than 10 minutes to drive home. FML

#5942414
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30281) - you deserved it (2792)

On 10/22/2009 at 9:11am - misc - by roadrage (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I met a new guy at work who would not stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me he was her husband. FML

Today, it is my birthday. So far I have received: the news that my parents are divorcing, a dead bird and a pile of shit left on my bed (courtesy of the cat), a rash all over my face, and some slippers from my boyfriend. FML

#13589791
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32400) - you deserved it (2792)

On 10/25/2010 at 1:08pm - animals - by sambo99 - United Kingdom (Herefordshire)

Today, my mum thought it would be acceptable to tell my school that the reason I will not be attending classes is because I have "the shits." FML

#12960697
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27446) - you deserved it (2792)

On 09/08/2010 at 7:24am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I got a letter of complaint from my landlord. It said my loud, obnoxious trampling is disturbing my downstairs neighbor, and I have to stop. I'm small and hardly weigh anything, but it seems that if I want to keep my lease, I'll have to master the art of levitating. FML

#18281989
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25855) - you deserved it (2792)

On 11/18/2011 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML

#19440053
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23855) - you deserved it (2792)

On 04/09/2012 at 10:51pm - health - by emoflowers - United States (Texas)



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