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Today, my fiancée broke up with me because I "don't know what I'm doing with my future". I've done four years in the Marines and am in the process of becoming an officer. She has a film degree which she has no interest in, works at the mall, and just moved back in with her dad. FML

#5186849
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44379) - you deserved it (3138)

On 09/11/2009 at 1:11pm - love - by TankTankTank (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, at work, a little girl was misbehaving. Her dad told her that she would look like me when she grows up. The little girl look horrified while Daddy laughed and kept reassuring her he was "just kidding." FML

#12897093
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31777) - you deserved it (3138)

On 09/04/2010 at 2:52am - misc - by Black Cat 13 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I are divorcing because HE had an affair. He now wants a paternity test. FML

#14024003
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31456) - you deserved it (3138)

On 11/29/2010 at 2:20pm - kids - by preggers - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a bouquet of flowers. I thought they might be from my crush, so I excitedly opened the card. It was from my druggie ex-boyfriend, who apparently can't move on with his life even after three years. The contents of the card? "Baby, I got you like a habit, and I can't give you up". FML

#8250207
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21961) - you deserved it (3138)

On 02/14/2010 at 1:52pm - love - by RosesAreRed (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML

#18049088
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30254) - you deserved it (3138)

On 10/22/2011 at 9:02pm - misc - by pretty_coin - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML

#20438667
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34877) - you deserved it (3138)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:59pm - love - by great. -

Today, I googled myself in preparation for my upcoming job interview. Turns out there's a girl on Twitter with my name and age who tweets nonstop about getting wasted and being on probation. She won't make her profile private. FML

#20944947
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44055) - you deserved it (3138)

On 11/04/2013 at 7:08am - work - by twitterfailsme (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, my mother-in-law gifted us with a new microwave. I told her it was too much and we didn't really need it. Her response, "I just want my grandkids to have food that tastes good for once." I'm a chef. FML

#5448265
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38450) - you deserved it (3137)

On 09/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by badcook (woman) - United States

Today, I went to a domestic violence counseling group. I was the only male there, and I explained that my girlfriend punches me in the face in front of my kids. Everyone started laughing. FML

Today, my doctor told me my ankle has been fractured since last week. I've been helping drywall the basement, and trying to walk up and down stairs for a week. My husband has been telling me to man up, and it's not that bad. FML

Today, after disappearing for an unusually long period of time, my boss called the store phone while sitting on the toilet. Turns out she'd started bleeding uncontrollably from the arse, and as the only other female staff member, she needed me to go help her. FML

#15151790
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31737) - you deserved it (3136)

On 02/28/2011 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my fiancé broke off our engagement after he saw one of my baby pictures. He said our future kids just wouldn't look right. FML

#16976984
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40198) - you deserved it (3136)

On 07/04/2011 at 7:42pm - kids - by K3you - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML

#20485216
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30567) - you deserved it (3136)

On 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm - love - by theawfulpresent (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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