Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I rode home alone on a train. I accidentally missed my stop, but wasn't worried about it. My mom did not share my optimism and actually called the train company, saying that I was "lost" and "special". They thought she meant I was retarded. They wouldn't believe me when I said I wasn't. FML

#14627865
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25943) - you deserved it (2852)

On 01/18/2011 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw my boyfriend of a year kissing another girl. When I walked up to confront him about it, he tried to convince the other girl he didn't know who I was. FML

#17989698
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39562) - you deserved it (2852)

On 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML

#20113997
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34812) - you deserved it (2852)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was burgled while I was on the toilet. FML

#20402014
133 comments

Today, my mom had the option of choosing anywhere in the world where we could go on vacation. We live in the USA and she chose to fly to Texas, rent an RV, and drive to Florida. Anywhere in the world. FML

#20482339
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32235) - you deserved it (2852)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:48pm - misc - by j_Lauren (woman) - United States

Today, the 9th grade dean called me into his office to talk. He asked me if I was new because it seemed like I was having trouble making friends. I've been going to the same school, with the same people, since kindergarten. FML

#61583
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41122) - you deserved it (2851)

On 02/17/2009 at 4:53pm - misc - by lene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend called me to come over because we "needed to talk." Going down the stairs, I tripped and fell. I woke up from unconsciousness with a hurting leg and my boyfriend standing over me. Just as I was about to smile and ask for a kiss, he said, "Maybe we should take a break" and left. FML

#6435138
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28641) - you deserved it (2851)

On 11/24/2009 at 11:08am - love - by Yes (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I offered to drive my girlfriend's grandpa to the doctor. I thus learned my girlfriend's grandfather has a colostomy bag when it burst all over the inside of my truck. FML

#16247260
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32196) - you deserved it (2851)

On 05/19/2011 at 12:27am - misc - by John -

Today, my neighbor declared his love for me via "the medium of interpretative dance." FML

#17641775
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25694) - you deserved it (2851)

On 09/02/2011 at 2:54am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boss became obsessed with a movie about a pimp. He now refers to all my female coworkers as his "bitches" and refuses to treat us like human beings. Whenever we make a mistake, he rolls his eyes and laughs, "So typical of a prostie." FML

#19736092
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32101) - you deserved it (2851)

On 06/04/2012 at 11:47pm - work - by kufan1324 - United States

Today, my manager rejected my leave application for Christmas. Later I found out that I'm going to be the only employee working at the office during Christmas. FML

#21002397
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41886) - you deserved it (2851)

On 12/23/2013 at 12:35pm - work - by homerr123 (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I visited my 78 year old grandmother. She thanked me for visiting and gave me a magazine before I left telling me I might find something I like in there. When I got home I looked at the magazine only to realize it's full of dildos and sextoys. FML

#16862
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36286) - you deserved it (2850)

On 02/09/2009 at 2:51am - intimacy - by V (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I didn't feel wanted. Then she talked about how her cat puked on the carpet. FML

#7578
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26664) - you deserved it (2850)

On 02/04/2009 at 9:18am - love - by constantine (man) - United States (Florida)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: