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Today, while in a public restroom I could hear a guy having his way with his hand. He was quoting verses from the bible. I was in a cubicle and he was at the urinal. I was too frightened to leave. This went on for a very long time. FML

#14234444
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36078) - you deserved it (3276)

On 12/17/2010 at 11:05am - intimacy - by biblewanker - Australia

Today, after setting up surveillance in my front yard to see whose dog keeps crapping on my lawn, I finally caught the culprit on film. It was my heroin addict neighbour. FML

#15260051
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37589) - you deserved it (3276)

On 03/10/2011 at 6:09am - animals - by Tom -

Today, my ex girlfriend that I still love sent me a text, quote "I still love you, but i'm not IN love with you" um. what? FML

#779
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25240) - you deserved it (3275)

On 01/07/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by wtf - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was in the change room at the local YMCA. I went to use the hair dryer but couldn't because a naked old man was bent over, butt cheeks spread wide with his hands, and ass aimed at the dryer. He seemed to be enjoying it. FML

#216994
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55480) - you deserved it (3275)

On 03/05/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by nuberific (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after work, I parked in the parking lot I go to every day to let heavy traffic go by. As I was about to leave, two cops suddenly yanked me out of the car and arrested me for "stocking," as they spelled it on the report. Some paranoid girl thought I was parking there every day to watch her. FML

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

#20919796
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44227) - you deserved it (3275)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was taking the AP Biology exam. It’s strictly timed, yet my proctor spent 30 minutes (a third of the time we have) talking about his sexual relationship with his wife, who was also proctoring. I don’t know how I did on the test, but I now know my proctor had erectile dysfunction. FML

#1842179
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61778) - you deserved it (3274)

On 05/11/2009 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by JSF1234 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML

#7925125
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33303) - you deserved it (3274)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:27am - animals - by btg - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my dad recently created a Facebook account for himself. So I friended him. He refuses to accept my friend request. He did, however, accept my sister's. FML

#8686937
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27366) - you deserved it (3274)

On 02/27/2010 at 10:58am - misc - by msmusiclover7 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized that the fish-shaped birth mark on the back of my leg, that I have had all my life, is not really shaped like a fish as I had originally thought. It looks just like a penis. FML

#14234557
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30407) - you deserved it (3274)

On 12/17/2010 at 11:23am - health - by BYUwildchild - United States

Today, I had an hour-long massage, meditated for while and was finally feeling good. Then I had to call an ambulance for my idiot father who had managed to get alcohol poisoning. FML

#15062503
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27498) - you deserved it (3274)

On 02/21/2011 at 5:22am - misc - by meme71 -

Today, after spending over $1000 on plane tickets, I'm visiting my family for the first time in five years. Two hours after I arrived, everyone is screaming at each other and taking their rage out on me. They still ask why I never visit. FML

#17157621
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31684) - you deserved it (3274)

On 07/18/2011 at 1:09am - misc - by Kurochrome - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my husband wrote all these wonderful romantic messages to me via Facebook, proclaiming his love to me in front of all my friends and family. Too bad he hasn't spoken to me in "real life" for almost 3 weeks. FML

#17498431
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29153) - you deserved it (3274)

On 08/17/2011 at 8:13am - misc - by howtragic - Australia (Queensland)



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