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Today, after working another double shift because I want to buy my boyfriend a really expensive anniversary present, I get to his apartment to find him calculating in how many paychecks he'll be able to afford a Caribbean getaway. For himself. FML

#5798197
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29114) - you deserved it (3108)

On 10/12/2009 at 3:31pm - love - by Sucker (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was wearing my favorite silk sweater, one I actually paid full price for. I sat down in my desk chair to work, and when I tried to get up I felt a strange pull. A corner of my sweater is still stuck in the screw at the back of the chair, the rest is in the trash. FML

#8736997
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18737) - you deserved it (3108)

On 03/01/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by dangit (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had my anus probed twice by two different doctors. I was diagnosed with hemorrhoids. I'm a 22 year old guy and have to schedule a colonoscopy for next week. I guess there's a first time for everything. FML

#16829540
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27196) - you deserved it (3108)

On 06/24/2011 at 3:17am - health - by John (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to convince my daughter that the "To boldly go where no man has gone before" speech is from Star Trek, and is not an actual historical speech by the first man on the moon. She has decided to include it in her university essay on Neil Armstrong anyway. FML

Today, I discovered the source of the vile stench in my room. My daughter had "saved" a bird from our cat and put it in a box under my bed, hoping to nurse it back to health. She forgot about it, leaving the corpse rotting in there for who knows how long. FML

#20737123
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46193) - you deserved it (3108)

On 06/20/2013 at 12:54pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Pakistan (Punjab)

Today, I was sick and had soccer trials on the same day. At the soccer trials, the coach called me over and told me I was doing really good and to keep it up. I said thanks and vomited on him. FML

#21293843
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33434) - you deserved it (3108)

On 11/07/2014 at 12:47am - health - by jj - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the doctor to talk about my depression and low self-esteem. He told me that I shouldn't think of myself as a fat pig for being overweight. I don't think that and I'm NOT overweight. FML

#3462
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24929) - you deserved it (3107)

On 01/29/2009 at 5:46pm - health - by Coley - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mum's boyfriend came back from a job up-state. He is now walking around the house in boxers to "show off his tan". He has a beer gut and a hairy back. FML

#16640907
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31751) - you deserved it (3107)

On 06/13/2011 at 4:58am - misc - by disgusteddaughter (woman) - Australia

Today, I found out the guy I've been dating for 5 months is engaged to his girlfriend of 3 years. I found out as we were talking, waiting for him to come outside after work. FML

#21288734
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35804) - you deserved it (3107)

On 10/30/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by taylor w - United States

Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML

#3129056
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51210) - you deserved it (3106)

On 06/22/2009 at 8:21pm - work - by the_captain (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a middle-aged woman came into the shoe shop where I work, and asked me to help her put on a pair of boots that were obviously too small. Simultaneously as I knelt down by her feet, she booted me in the face while we tried to get them on. FML

#13933361
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22997) - you deserved it (3106)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went on a date with a respectable, successful, polite, and attractive guy. Ten minutes into the conversation, I find out he's a neo-Nazi and earned a swastika tattoo in prison for "something shady." FML

#17949951
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28597) - you deserved it (3106)

On 10/10/2011 at 3:16am - love - by thatgirl - United States (Texas)



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