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Today, I had a seizure. My dad responded by saying it always happens with my disease. I never have had a disease. Now I have to wait for my dad to stop yelling at my mom about not telling me, so I can ask what I have in the first place. FML

#15296523
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42217) - you deserved it (2719)

On 03/13/2011 at 7:08pm - health - by aldfgadfklbg (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a car hit me while I was in a crosswalk. The driver jumped out of her car and stepped over me to check her car for damage. FML

#16671124
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38480) - you deserved it (2718)

On 06/15/2011 at 1:07am - health - by Username - United States (California)

Today, my tonsils swelled to roughly the size of golf balls. My mom refuses to take me to the hospital because she's convinced I got it from kissing someone, and until I "fess up", she's not budging. FML

#17109448
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35044) - you deserved it (2718)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:21pm - health - by Eden - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I sat on the kitchen counter in my boxers for ten minutes running my feet under hot water. Why? Because my dad thought it would be funny to superglue my feet together. FML

#18491637
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29273) - you deserved it (2718)

On 12/12/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by lucas - United States (Alaska)

Today, I kindly asked my crazy roommate to move out. She answered by stuffing raw hamburger meat down all the drains in the apartment. FML

#18260182
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24749) - you deserved it (2718)

On 11/15/2011 at 11:15pm - misc - by ledon (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I was coming home from a much-needed vacation. The time I spent on the plane consisted of kids screaming and throwing tantrums. One of them managed to give me a black eye with a shoe. Their mom pretended to be asleep so I'd have to deal with her kids for her. FML

#20626326
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40176) - you deserved it (2718)

On 04/27/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by Satan'sChildren - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was walking to a meeting and saw two girls trying to jump start a car in the rain. Thinking I'd be a gentleman and help them, I offered to assist. The girl whose car is broken down looks at me, looks at her friend, and says, "I think we'd better call the police." FML

#130566
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37780) - you deserved it (2717)

On 02/25/2009 at 1:19am - misc - by Godfree (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend got mugged. I found out because the mugger had the courtesy to ring me, after I texted several times asking where he was, to say "He won't reply. He got robbed." FML

#13634930
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29433) - you deserved it (2717)

On 10/29/2010 at 2:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by sending me a text. She was sitting right beside me on a 10 hour car trip, and there was still 6 more hours to go. FML

#14104708
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34493) - you deserved it (2717)

On 12/06/2010 at 5:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mom took me to dinner. She told me about an argument that she and her boyfriend had, and she showed me the texts. While reading, I learned that she smells his dick before sucking it. FML

#19814133
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28402) - you deserved it (2717)

On 06/19/2012 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by lisahb - United States (Michigan)

Today, I did my work, the work of my co-worker who called in sick and the work of my boss who has no idea what the hell is going on all at the same time. I didn't get a promotion because I don't work hard enough. FML

#101471
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39187) - you deserved it (2716)

On 02/22/2009 at 1:14am - work - by Noname (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I received a bouquet of flowers from my boyfriend, which is something he's never done before. Unfortunately, this was his way of apologizing for cheating on me. FML

#14734068
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29674) - you deserved it (2716)

On 01/27/2011 at 5:53pm - love - by Azure_Mist (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML

#17147393
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38363) - you deserved it (2716)

On 07/17/2011 at 8:34am - love - by bigjohn106 - United States (Maryland)



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