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Today, I had to call the doctor to go and have them remove a tick that had got stuck to my man-parts while fishing. The receptionist laughed, she thought I was prank calling. FML

#16050622
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29214) - you deserved it (3284)

On 05/04/2011 at 10:38pm - health - by ouchies - United States

Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML

#20494543
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35915) - you deserved it (3284)

On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 50-year-old dad was in a foul mood after taking an online test that put him in Slytherin house instead of Ravenclaw where he "belongs" because he's "so smart". FML

#20849955
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37672) - you deserved it (3284)

On 08/22/2013 at 9:38pm - misc - by thanksad (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm sick with the worst head cold of my life. For some reason whenever I cough, I also fart. Everyone thinks I'm just trying to cover up flatulence with fake coughing. FML

#21266077
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35762) - you deserved it (3284)

On 09/26/2014 at 10:46pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, while showering in my dorm, a hand reaches through the curtain and grabs my ass. I hit the person on the other side of the curtain. He opened the curtain thinking that I was his girlfriend. He apologized and he had sex with his girlfriend in the shower stall next to me. FML

#268539
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71307) - you deserved it (3283)

On 03/11/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I received a letter in the mail from my Grandma about how much she adores and loves me. Then it went into detail about how much prettier, smarter, and successful I am than my sister, Leah. I am Leah. She mixed up the letters to the wrong envelopes. FML

#444833
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75202) - you deserved it (3283)

On 03/18/2009 at 5:47pm - misc - by leah12 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I finally got my nametag. I had been using other people's names like Maria and Caie for a week, so I was happy to be called my own name. I put it on and got to work. Ten minutes later, I was called into the office. I got laid off. I got to wear my nametag for 10 minutes. FML

#2733384
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45076) - you deserved it (3283)

On 06/08/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by nametag (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I liked. We sat in the gardens, me facing the path, him with his back to it. We were in deep conversation when I noticed a dog that looked exactly like mine. Then I looked up and saw a man that looked like my dad. Yes - my parents followed me on a date. FML

#5254705
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49684) - you deserved it (3283)

On 09/14/2009 at 5:30pm - love - by bumblebee (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my boyfriend told me one of the main reasons he started dating me was because I have the same name as his ex, whose name he has tattooed on his back. FML

#14034734
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34238) - you deserved it (3283)

On 11/30/2010 at 10:50am - love - by tattooed (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I thought I was going to my doctor for a yearly check-up. My father had actually tricked me into therapy. FML

#19323093
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19229) - you deserved it (3283)

On 03/21/2012 at 9:50pm - health - by nazooer - United States

Today, thanks to our computer's browser history, I found out that my wife has been searching for local therapists who deal with cases of severe sex addiction. We've only had sex twice since we got married four months ago. FML

#20487689
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32933) - you deserved it (3283)

On 01/31/2013 at 12:08pm - love - by papersofdivorce (man) - Peru (Lima)

Today, I got two pieces of mail. One was a fine for not presenting my concession card to ticket inspectors on a train. The other was my concession card. FML

#20912116
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40969) - you deserved it (3283)

On 10/08/2013 at 3:09am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - China (Shanghai)

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

#900029
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69806) - you deserved it (3282)

On 04/10/2009 at 11:35am - kids - by mandy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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