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Today, I got my report card from school. I pulled my grade up in Algebra from a D to an A. My parents told me that they never expected me to accomplish this, and good job but they've already enrolled me in boarding school. So much for all that extra credit and staying late after school to study. FML

#6900701
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30260) - you deserved it (3192)

On 12/23/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by bee (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it was my grandfather's burial. As the family was about to leave, a great aunt came up to my skinny, tall and pretty cousin and told her, "Stay beautiful and kind." Then, she walked to me and said, "And you, Stay kind." FML

#5942198
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33330) - you deserved it (3192)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:26am - misc - by kthx (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML

#20007961
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33915) - you deserved it (3192)

On 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML

#20167650
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23441) - you deserved it (3192)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:45am - love - by jasmith - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML

#21378092
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27796) - you deserved it (3192)

On 03/19/2015 at 11:22pm - love - by TooShortToCleanThat - United States

Today, I went to the gym to run. I ended up at the hospital because i went into anaphylactic shock. Apparently I'm allergic to exercise now. FML

#36818
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34204) - you deserved it (3191)

On 02/13/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, at school, I got stuck in the elevator and was about to panic before I remembered I had my phone. I called my mother and she called the school to tell them that I was stuck. They got me out in a few minutes and then confiscated my phone and gave me two detentions for using it in school. FML

#6252337
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50659) - you deserved it (3191)

On 11/11/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by noexceptions (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend told me love is like a drug. I started tearing up because this is the most romantic he has been in a while. He then went on to break up with me, telling me that my "prescription is up". FML

#18577154
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30902) - you deserved it (3191)

On 12/22/2011 at 3:09am - love - by Jean - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was telling my best friend that I was feeling unattractive, and that I never get asked out. As she was trying to make me feel better, we were interrupted by a stranger trying to hit on her. FML

#19769675
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26030) - you deserved it (3191)

On 06/11/2012 at 8:01am - love - by ugly (woman) - Australia

Today, I found out that two kids were able to, without much effort, convince my 16-year-old daughter that her friend's house was used to smuggle out Jews during WWII. His house was built in 2007. We also live in America. FML

#20033419
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25792) - you deserved it (3191)

On 08/21/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. We are on a cruise together. She has already found another room to sleep in. FML

#20899028
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48920) - you deserved it (3191)

On 09/28/2013 at 11:21am - love - by Christian (man) - United States

Today, I found out that since there are 3 people with the same name as me at work, I'm known as "the ugly one". FML

#20973400
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43725) - you deserved it (3191)

On 11/28/2013 at 6:41am - work - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that the friend I stayed up with for nights on end, talking out of depression and suicide, has 'politely' posted up on facebook that he secretly hates me. FML

#13508700
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29287) - you deserved it (3190)

On 10/19/2010 at 5:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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