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Today, after being in Europe for a month, I got home to find my door wide open and all my stuff gone. I called my dad who was supposed to be watching my house. He told me I should have had someone check on my place while I was gone. FML

#16181448
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39028) - you deserved it (3516)

On 05/15/2011 at 12:49am - misc - by jruth7 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML

#17977094
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69266) - you deserved it (3516)

On 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm - love - by Good sister (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband and I bought a new swing for our front porch. We put it together and sat down to enjoy our accomplishment. 5 minutes into our swing I threw up several times. I have really bad motion sickness, and apparently a swing is no exception. FML

#20074281
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21166) - you deserved it (3516)

On 09/16/2012 at 8:36am - misc - by kacie smith - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a man with a clipboard came up to me in the street to ask me if I was happy with my life insurance. I couldn't bring myself to admit to him that I'm so clueless about my own life that I wasn't sure I was even happy with the Twix I was eating at the time. FML

#20095768
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19046) - you deserved it (3516)

On 09/30/2012 at 8:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went on my fifth date with my new girlfriend. Apparently, she was in such a rush while leaving work that she forgot to take off her wedding ring. FML

#20567033
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49221) - you deserved it (3516)

On 03/30/2013 at 3:02pm - love - by unknown - France

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I cancelled our date tonight. I cancelled because I had a seizure and was taken to the hospital. FML

#20654794
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60953) - you deserved it (3516)

On 05/10/2013 at 6:58pm - health - by Chia (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML

#20663501
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56668) - you deserved it (3516)

On 05/14/2013 at 6:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my mum got engaged to her American pen-pal, who is in prison over there for murder. FML

Today, I had my first threesome. It was me, my wonderful girlfriend, and her shithead cat after he decided my balls were a bag of catnip and just had to play with. Things ended pretty fast. FML

#21351917
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33429) - you deserved it (3516)

On 02/08/2015 at 3:35am - animals - by OnlyAvailableID - Australia

Today, I woke up to my roommates "pet" snake casually lying in bed with me. I then got yelled at for screaming and scaring the snake. Apparently, it's my fault that it bit my chin. FML

Today, I got demoted at my job. Instead of working with patients, they want me to file. The thing is, I'm a volunteer; I work for them for free. FML

#1523
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21287) - you deserved it (3515)

On 01/17/2009 at 10:44pm - work - by wasted_life - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that he will never marry me because we are different ethnicities and his parents don't approve. I was of course very upset and crying. His way to comfort me was by saying, "Don't worry, I will always cheat on my wife with you." FML

#6778697
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44493) - you deserved it (3515)

On 12/16/2009 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a cop pulled me over because there was a sign hidden behind a tree that said "No left turn". As I was getting my ticket, I watched as three cars turned left. The cop saw them, laughed, and said, "I guess you're the unlucky one." FML

#14764680
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41929) - you deserved it (3515)

On 01/29/2011 at 9:20pm - misc - by copper - United States (Texas)



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