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Today, knowing that I have been in a lot of stress lately, my friend tried to teach me how to meditate. Eventually, I ended up in a deeply relaxed state in which my mind was completely clear. When I snapped out of it, I realized I'd peed myself. FML

#20163308
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22424) - you deserved it (3215)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my parents told me that I had been accepted into my top two colleges, but they didn't show me the letters because they were worried that if they spent money on tuition, they wouldn't be able to keep BOTH of their brand new Mercedes. FML

Today, I tried to put the little girl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her down when she made a mad dash for the basement stairs, slipped on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stairs. FML

#20956092
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54534) - you deserved it (3215)

On 11/13/2013 at 6:08am - kids - by little_star78 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found my first grey hair. How? My boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to point it out. FML

#21274083
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34430) - you deserved it (3216)

On 10/09/2014 at 6:27am - love - by MoRuined (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I overheard my co-workers talking about how they don't need flu shots because everyone else gets them. These people are in the medical industry. FML

#21286250
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32481) - you deserved it (3216)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40am - work - by Silbax1 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML

#15968
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49603) - you deserved it (3214)

On 02/08/2009 at 9:14pm - intimacy - by ADT (man) - United States (California)

Today, My friend and I were stopped at a red light while it was pouring rain. We heard a screeching noise off in the distance and thought, "Hope someone doesn't get hit." Someone did get hit. We did. From behind. FML

#915391
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48541) - you deserved it (3214)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by RainyDay (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

#19603084
415 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59049) - you deserved it (3214)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my daughter brought home her new boyfriend. He has a neck tattoo, and his life's dream is to be a professional "beer pong" player. FML

#20146654
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27757) - you deserved it (3214)

On 11/04/2012 at 1:30am - kids - by PleaseDontBeSerious - Canada

Today, I returned home from an extended vacation only to find out my cousin wasn't kidding when he said he was going to steal my boyfriend. I thought I was dating a straight guy. FML

#20761976
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43602) - you deserved it (3214)

On 07/03/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sent a Facebook friend request to my ex. This afternoon I notice that they had accepted, and had left a message for me in my inbox. Asking how they knew me. FML

#2298
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22147) - you deserved it (3213)

On 01/23/2009 at 7:33am - love - by josh - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got laid off from work. I was being escorted to the elevator when another coworker stepped inside. He said, "How goes it?". I said, "It goes". Then he said, "At least we have a job". FML

#761537
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65783) - you deserved it (3213)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by Dude - United States (California)

Today, a customer came in who only spoke Spanish. I speak Spanish rather well so I helped the customer. She ended up buying $2300 worth of stuff. I got written up because not speaking English apparently "has the potential be offensive to other customers if they are not able to understand you". FML

#5033562
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55799) - you deserved it (3213)

On 09/04/2009 at 12:31am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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