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Today, I got on the subway with a broken leg. A kind woman stood up and offered me her seat. Before I could sit down, a guy shoved past me and took it for himself. The woman and I pointed out my cast and crutches, and asked him to give up the seat. He responded by flipping us off. FML

#20685391
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52663) - you deserved it (2870)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:14pm - misc - by a hex upon your anus, sir (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, at work, an old lady came through my line to buy some groceries. She told me she lost her purse and was a little short. It was busy, so I pulled out my little purse and gave her the money she needed. A few minutes later she returned with my boss, insisting that my purse was hers. FML

#13204000
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32405) - you deserved it (2869)

On 09/26/2010 at 12:59am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in my family's hotel room taking a dump. The lock to the bathroom was broken so we had made a deal: when the door is closed, someone is using the toilet. The maid didn't know that. She punched me in the face because she claimed I scared her. FML

#16675127
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32507) - you deserved it (2869)

On 06/15/2011 at 9:37am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Sjelland)

Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML

#17072330
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31327) - you deserved it (2869)

On 07/11/2011 at 10:15pm - animals - by CatOwner (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML

#17516529
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41408) - you deserved it (2869)

On 08/19/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by leftwardfoil (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to explain to a woman I didn't know that my husband was killed overseas. She replied, "I know exactly how you feel, my dog died last month." FML

#17793526
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42174) - you deserved it (2869)

On 09/21/2011 at 3:01am - animals - by socks - United States

Today, I got a picture message from my aunt that said, "9 out of 10 kids get their awesomeness from their aunt." Normally, I would have agreed, except she forgot my birthday yesterday. FML

#20677224
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35155) - you deserved it (2869)

On 05/21/2013 at 3:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my horrible boss sent me a Facebook friend request for the fifth time, in her attempt to not only bother me at work, but also through social media. FML

#21254692
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32600) - you deserved it (2869)

On 09/08/2014 at 9:26pm - work - by notyourfriend (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my godmother informed me that the rule of thumb my ex had used for our relationship during a year of cohabitation was taken directly from a Cesar Millan book on "How to train dogs." FML

#7492319
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19198) - you deserved it (2868)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:17am - love - by housebroken (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I fell asleep in a taxi. So did the taxi driver. FML

#8767827
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30490) - you deserved it (2869)

On 03/02/2010 at 4:14am - misc - by Celeste - Singapore

Today, I was watching my cousin shoot at targets on hay bales with his plastic pellet BB gun. After my sister asked him if it would hurt to be shot with one, my cousin smiled at her and said, "Ask your sister" as he shot me in the leg. I think my screaming was obvious enough. It hurts. FML

#17995977
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26879) - you deserved it (2868)

On 10/16/2011 at 3:06am - misc - by ThanksChris (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my son learned that when you slide a mug across the kitchen table, it doesn't stop where you expect it to like in the old cartoons. I then learned what it feels like to have a full mug of hot chocolate spilled onto my crotch. FML

#18972583
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22269) - you deserved it (2868)

On 02/01/2012 at 10:11pm - kids - by Bruce (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, a Karate dojo opened under my apartment. It's like living in a Bruce Lee movie. FML

#18516583
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22908) - you deserved it (2868)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:09am - misc - by rattlingfloorboards (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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