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Today, at a friendly get-together, my friend's husband had too much to drink and got into a fistfight with my husband. I'm seven-and-a-half months pregnant, and the friendly get-together was my baby shower. FML

#20493991
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28648) - you deserved it (2781)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:22am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML

#20755318
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44863) - you deserved it (2781)

On 06/30/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by unfortunate (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over breakfast. In the afternoon I got to smile at him prettily for hours because he was the photographer in a session neither of us could get out of. FML

#12677890
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29518) - you deserved it (2780)

On 08/22/2010 at 3:24am - love - by lee (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I was walking to the store when I ran into one of my friends. He said he heard about my bike being stolen the day before, and that whoever took it was a heartless dick. I hadn't told anyone about the theft. FML

#17231826
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40792) - you deserved it (2780)

On 07/23/2011 at 5:27pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, it was my first day as a police officer. A couple of hours into the shift, we got a call. A man was drunkenly jeering and urinating on parked cars. That man turned out to be my father. FML

#17787359
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36468) - you deserved it (2780)

On 09/20/2011 at 10:56am - work - by PC Jones (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 10-year-old brother got the bright idea to urinate in my oven to cool it off. My whole house smells like burnt piss. FML

#18624102
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30945) - you deserved it (2780)

On 12/27/2011 at 10:53am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, we had movers come in to take all of our stuff as the final step to our move to the States. We have our flight scheduled for tomorrow evening. Thing is, they accidentally took my carry-on bag without my knowledge. In that carry-on there was a little something called a passport. FML

#20093240
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22480) - you deserved it (2780)

On 09/29/2012 at 3:39am - misc - by bluefrisky - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML

#20156617
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21059) - you deserved it (2780)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:16pm - health - by dating a fking cnt (man) - Canada

Today, I was in line at the store behind a lady and her young daughter. Trying to be polite I smiled at the little girl. She burst into tears asking her mommy 'what is wrong with that ladies teeth'. Apparently braces on a 25 year old is not 'kid friendly'. FML

#6221644
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25636) - you deserved it (2779)

On 11/08/2009 at 11:37pm - kids - by itsjustmyluck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while playing soccer, I was kicked so hard in the shin that my tibia snapped. The snap was so loud that even the audience heard. As we waited for an ambulance, my mom started yelling for me to get off the field so the game could continue. FML

Today, I was trying to clean the belt of my register at work at a grocery store. I noticed two strips of rubber stuck in the corner of the belt, and after pulling on them periodically all morning one finally came loose. It was a foot. I had been pulling at a dead rat trapped in the belt. FML

#3675667
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44485) - you deserved it (2779)

On 07/11/2009 at 8:33pm - work - by cashier (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

#4977727
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40511) - you deserved it (2778)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm - animals - by Catscratch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving on the freeway. I shut my windows and sunroof when I started to feel heavy rain hitting me in the face and shoulder. I was confused by the rain because the sun was bright and there was blue, cloudless sky. Then I saw the large trash truck in front of me spewing "trash juice". FML

#5959994
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32864) - you deserved it (2778)

On 10/23/2009 at 3:19pm - misc - by iross (man) - United States (California)



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