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Today, my five-year-old stepson announced that he is finally no longer scared of flushing toilets. Immediately after, I discovered that he's now decided that he's scared of the bathroom sink. FML

#20947649
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36758) - you deserved it (3076)

On 11/06/2013 at 11:33am - kids - by TheMommas (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to file for bankruptcy because my ex-wife didn't want to pay for the house she didn't want me to have in the divorce, and didn't bother to have my name removed from the loan before she filed bankruptcy herself. FML

#8604257
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23375) - you deserved it (3075)

On 02/23/2010 at 11:22pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had to babysit two kids. I told them to stop fighting, or to sit on separate couches. They stopped. I asked why nobody would sit on the other couch, where I'd been sitting. They told me it was the couch their autistic brother often pees on. FML

#14792187
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27306) - you deserved it (3075)

On 01/31/2011 at 10:11pm - misc - by joxerthemighty39 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was checking the family's computer history, and found that "Shrek Porn" had been searched multiple times. FML

#21365639
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29523) - you deserved it (3075)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by mszoe - United States (California)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML

#20116347
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22821) - you deserved it (3074)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:57am - kids - by Nickki - United States

Today, I found out that my mother is extremely emotional when it comes to animal deaths when a bird flew into the window and died, and she insisted we have a funeral. FML

#19441830
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18757) - you deserved it (3074)

On 04/10/2012 at 7:13am - animals - by tay (man) - Australia

Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML

#19841077
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28285) - you deserved it (3074)

On 06/24/2012 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Addison - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a man with a clipboard came up to me in the street to ask me if I was happy with my life insurance. I couldn't bring myself to admit to him that I'm so clueless about my own life that I wasn't sure I was even happy with the Twix I was eating at the time. FML

#20095768
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15881) - you deserved it (3074)

On 09/30/2012 at 8:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to break up a fist fight between two female residents. I work in a retirement home. FML

#20791178
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41415) - you deserved it (3074)

On 07/18/2013 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year old son. He wriggled away and said: "If you need a teddy bear, go buy one! Or find another Simon!" FML

#697
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26933) - you deserved it (3073)

On 01/03/2009 at 10:55pm - kids - by sly - Sent from mobile version

Today, I called my dad to ask why my university tuition had not been paid. He said that "my school was too expensive and he couldn't afford it." He then asked me if I would take in his mail while he was away. He was taking his new wife to Hawaii, apparently it's beautiful this time of year. FML

#5603956
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38497) - you deserved it (3073)

On 10/02/2009 at 1:18pm - misc - by ill (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband put some photos of our wedding on Facebook. He named the album "FML". FML

#19832174
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29283) - you deserved it (3073)

On 06/23/2012 at 1:17am - misc - by blah56 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML

#20665470
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44987) - you deserved it (3073)

On 05/15/2013 at 5:47pm - work - by Seriously? (woman) - United States (California)



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