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Today, my friend got drunk. We tried to get him into a cab, he punched me in the face, three chavs then accosted me, accusing me of trying to mug him. I was then beaten up by said chavs and then the police charged me for being drunk and disorderly. FML

#5072563
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38354) - you deserved it (2913)

On 09/06/2009 at 12:03am - health - by DrunkenValor (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I called my dad to ask why my university tuition had not been paid. He said that "my school was too expensive and he couldn't afford it." He then asked me if I would take in his mail while he was away. He was taking his new wife to Hawaii, apparently it's beautiful this time of year. FML

#5603956
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37125) - you deserved it (2913)

On 10/02/2009 at 1:18pm - misc - by ill (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML

#20113997
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35524) - you deserved it (2913)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my "friends" set me up on a blind date with a guy who according to their description, sounded perfect in just about every way. He turned out to be my obsessive ex, and this is their idea of a funny prank. FML

#20402162
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29787) - you deserved it (2913)

On 12/16/2012 at 2:15pm - love - by lovelychris - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, my grandparents came over to visit. I'm still not sure if they came to see me or my dog. FML

#20990443
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33926) - you deserved it (2913)

On 12/12/2013 at 6:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my 50-year-old mother borrowed my denim miniskirt to go to the bar. In return, she offered to let me borrow her red "f*** me" pumps whenever I needed them. FML

#4061190
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38243) - you deserved it (2912)

On 07/26/2009 at 7:51pm - misc - by mvp (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it was my first day with new contacts, but I found out they make my eyes red and itchy. Today was also the day I had a very important meeting. They think I showed up stoned. FML

#6599049
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25707) - you deserved it (2912)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was stuck sitting at a cafeteria table next to the girl who broke my heart and her boyfriend. I got to overhear the conversation, which included "I want to go to the car" followed by "Me too, but I don't have a condom." FML

#7720142
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30864) - you deserved it (2912)

On 01/30/2010 at 8:35pm - love - by WishesWasDeaf (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, at work, a homeless woman called me trash, threw her coffee at me, and told me to get a job. I do have a job. It's homeless outreach. FML

#14740890
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28468) - you deserved it (2912)

On 01/28/2011 at 6:44am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML

#19870178
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21738) - you deserved it (2912)

On 06/30/2012 at 4:10am - misc - by audreyav - United States (Oregon)

Today, while in the restroom washing my hands, a girl decided to let one rip while in the stall. When she came out she gave me a dirty look of disgust and said, "At least wait until I leave." She and I were the only ones in the restroom. FML

#20841231
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43783) - you deserved it (2912)

On 08/17/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by mugres22 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got an e-mail regarding an IT support job I applied to. The e-mail had numerous formatting errors due to bad code, and typos all over the place. It said I wasn't qualified for the job. FML

#21011264
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37126) - you deserved it (2912)

On 12/31/2013 at 3:08am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I'm sick with the worst head cold of my life. For some reason whenever I cough, I also fart. Everyone thinks I'm just trying to cover up flatulence with fake coughing. FML

#21266077
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33656) - you deserved it (2912)

On 09/26/2014 at 10:46pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



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