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Today, my mom asked me if I had an eating problem because I've been eating less. I only started eating less because she told me I ate too much. FML

#26986
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35689) - you deserved it (3200)

On 02/11/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by hungry - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me with a voice card. It said "Marry me Amber?" I'm not Amber. That's his ex. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML

#19428378
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24207) - you deserved it (3200)

On 04/08/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by Jordan - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy, midlife crisis idea of designing and marketing Cheez Whiz dildos. FML

#20860571
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38749) - you deserved it (3200)

On 08/30/2013 at 5:05pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boss asked me "can I give you some constructive criticism?". I said yes. He tells me "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML

#576
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26293) - you deserved it (3199)

On 12/22/2008 at 11:18pm - work - by crapules - Sent from mobile version

Today, is the first weekend I have off this summer. Instead of letting me see my friends, my dad printed out a practice SAT exam. I've already taken the SAT. He just "doesn't want me to get rusty". FML

#11312975
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31881) - you deserved it (3199)

On 06/19/2010 at 2:53pm - misc - by Classicmen - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was skating in the city when I slipped and fractured my arm. As I was lying in pain, a guy walked up to me, frisked my pocket and took my wallet. He then said: "It's nothing personal." FML

#21281599
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38343) - you deserved it (3199)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:50am - misc - by ColdStones (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I thought my face was breaking out with pimples, and I thought it was weird because I never break out. And I noticed all these "bug bites" all over my body. When I got home, I realized those weren't bug bites. I have chicken pox, and my high school graduation is tomorrow. FML

#2819083
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58563) - you deserved it (3198)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:06am - health - by angela (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend said I looked like ET and made me pose next to a full scale model of him while she took a picture. She's showing her friends the picture and they agree. FML

#17795407
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27405) - you deserved it (3198)

On 09/21/2011 at 12:42pm - love - by srloin (man) - United States

Today, I had to give my husband a tutorial on how to use jumper cables. Confused and flustered, he requested written instructions. FML

#18975500
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21112) - you deserved it (3198)

On 02/02/2012 at 9:50am - misc - by MM (woman) -

Today, we had our whole staff photo. We all had to stand up in rows in height order, as I'm tall I had to stand in the middle, at the back. I'm horribly claustrophobic and ended up fainting in front of 100 colleagues, taking down 4 people around me. FML

#19144680
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23260) - you deserved it (3198)

On 02/23/2012 at 7:11am - work - by photofaint - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she could not stand the thought of being in a relationship with a man who wears orange. This is the first time I've worn an orange shirt in at least 6 months. FML

#20521313
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32298) - you deserved it (3198)

On 02/25/2013 at 3:33am - love - by vat (man) - Hong Kong

Today, I work at a food joint as a chef, and a customer found a long strand of hair in her food. The manager blamed me, even though I'm bald. FML

#21117573
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44059) - you deserved it (3198)

On 04/19/2014 at 10:39pm - work - by notmine (man) - India (Delhi)



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