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Today, I was working as the shift manager at my job at a fast food restaurant. Our company policy states that all employees must be clean shaven before coming to work. I had to inform one of the employees, Kris, that they had to shave before clocking in. Kris is a woman. FML

#766931
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64638) - you deserved it (3008)

On 04/02/2009 at 2:21pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was fined because my son pushed the alarm button in the elevator. Why? There was a spider in there. FML

#7113361
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25878) - you deserved it (3008)

On 01/02/2010 at 10:22pm - kids - by arachnidphobia (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss made me give a presentation to several senior company officials about the serious financial losses our division has made this year. Barely an hour later, my boss had palmed all the blame off onto me and gotten me fired. FML

#20605914
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37955) - you deserved it (3008)

On 04/19/2013 at 8:16pm - work - by unemployed (woman) - El Salvador (San Salvador)

Today, it marks the fourth month since my 15-year-old cousin asked me out, then started practically stalking me when I said no. It's also the fourth month of my parents and his constantly telling me to stop overreacting and that it's "just a phase." FML

#20740640
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42811) - you deserved it (3008)

On 06/22/2013 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML

#21257037
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44138) - you deserved it (3008)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm - misc - by he's not the one going to hell (man) - Australia

Today, while working at Starbucks, a customer spilled her drink all over the counter. After I cleaned up her spill and remade the drink (for free), she exclaimed "Thanks! I should really tip you!" Then she turned around, walked directly past the tip jar, and left the store. FML

#4511734
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43098) - you deserved it (3007)

On 08/13/2009 at 9:59pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was awoken at 1:30am by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML

#7231229
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44786) - you deserved it (3007)

On 01/09/2010 at 3:40am - misc - by Fran (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my parents made a list of all the things they could have done had I not been born. FML

#19812575
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31172) - you deserved it (3007)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by theunborn - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, after living with my mom for years to save money I finally moved into my first condo. The day after I made my first mortgage payment the sewage system back up and leaked into my bedroom from outside, ruining the carpets and the walls. I have to move back in with my mom until it’s fixed. FML

Today, I got a email from my boss. He said he was going to have to let me go for missing so much work over the last week. I was laid off two months ago. I don't know what is more depressing, getting fired from a job twice or the fact it took two months for them to notice I wasn't there anymore. FML

#1189537
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60850) - you deserved it (3006)

On 04/21/2009 at 11:11am - work - by laxguy23 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, at exactly midnight, I get a text from my boyfriend saying we were done. I had just seen him 4 hours ago when we were out celebrating my birthday, and asked why he didnt just tell me then. He replies 'I couldn't break up with you on your birthday but i wanted it to be over ASAP' FML

#2323618
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50641) - you deserved it (3005)

On 05/26/2009 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had my 21st birthday party. My friends told me to have the party even though it had been 5 months since my actual 21st birthday. They asked me why I didn't have one originally and I jokingly told them it was because I didn't think anyone would come. Turned out nobody came after all. FML

#5926430
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30611) - you deserved it (3005)

On 10/21/2009 at 8:15am - misc - by JimmySmoothBeans (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I received a phone call from my son's school. Apparently, for the past week he has been telling everyone "mummy works as a drug dealer." I'm a pharmacist. FML



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