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Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

#20836671
113 comments

Today, while my in-laws were visiting, my two-year old accidentally pushed the door wide open while I was sitting on the toilet. My mother-in-law laughed, took out her cell phone, snapped a picture of me and posted it on Facebook for everyone in our family to see. FML

#21379759
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32162) - you deserved it (3323)

On 03/22/2015 at 9:58pm - kids - by Mary C. (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty side-effect. It appears that it can cause a massive rock-hard piece of dung the size of a bus to form in your intestines. I went to the doctor, he handed me a glove and some laxatives and said "Have fun!" FML

#5846674
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29811) - you deserved it (3322)

On 10/15/2009 at 9:59pm - health - by Rob - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML

#8587618
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26946) - you deserved it (3322)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by disgusted - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was waiting to take a dump in a gas station restroom. A 300 pound man walked out, shook his head, and said "I'm sorry" to me. FML

#13675906
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34553) - you deserved it (3322)

On 11/01/2010 at 3:39pm - misc - by mr_p - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was accused of masturbating during work. I was actually just getting something out of my pocket. FML

#17962463
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31595) - you deserved it (3322)

On 10/11/2011 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by dinosaucer - United States (Delaware)

Today, my dog threw up on my bed while I was sleeping. I lost an hour of the day washing the vomit out with a rag, and my garbage disposal jammed on whatever otherworldly things my dog ate the day before. I had to dig it out by hand. FML

#19123444
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21708) - you deserved it (3322)

On 02/20/2012 at 2:39pm - animals - by good_gravy (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I spoke to my dad for the first time in over a year. I've been volunteering in Mongolia, I have no running water, freeze my ass off everyday and communication with anyone who speaks English is scarce. One of the first things my father said to me was, "out of sight, out of mind." FML

#5183635
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32274) - you deserved it (3321)

On 09/11/2009 at 5:01am - misc - by Anonymous - Mongolia (Ulaanbaatar)

Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school saying "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits". FML

#6719670
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31646) - you deserved it (3321)

On 12/12/2009 at 6:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I can't get my heat to turn off. It is currently 87 degrees Fahrenheit in my house, and my heat is running non-stop. It's about 20 degrees outside with over a foot of snow on the ground, so a repairman can't come out to fix it. My electricity bill will be about $1000. FML

#6829701
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32107) - you deserved it (3321)

On 12/19/2009 at 3:10pm - money - by heatproblems (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, he asked which girl I'd found out about. FML

#12630401
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38328) - you deserved it (3321)

On 08/19/2010 at 7:11pm - love - by Sara246 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom went to the store. She said she was feeling generous, and had gotten everyone a little treat. My brothers each got candy and a movie. I got acne medication. FML

#19001319
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27064) - you deserved it (3321)

On 02/05/2012 at 1:49pm - misc - by CaityLovesBo - United States (Washington)

Today, my company had a Halloween party. I was so excited seeing as our company never does anything, so I pulled out all the stops with my costume. I was the only one who got dressed up. FML

#20144153
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24236) - you deserved it (3321)

On 11/02/2012 at 8:17am - work - by PieterseMJ - South Africa (Gauteng)



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