Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while riding the bus, the person next to me broke into a coughing fit. Fortunately, he covered his mouth. Unfortunately, he used my arm. FML

#20889355
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35269) - you deserved it (2286)

On 09/20/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by -.- - United States (California)

Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off". She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language". FML

#20991205
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37274) - you deserved it (2286)

On 12/13/2013 at 12:09pm - misc - by religiunatic (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working at the school when one of the kids came crying to me about needing help with his zipper after a little "accident". Forbidden by a district ordinance to touch them in certain areas, there was nothing I could do; to which he cried and pissed his pants. Again. FML

#6350911
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30037) - you deserved it (2285)

On 11/18/2009 at 1:05am - kids - by not_trained_for_this (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my 10 year old step-brother has an obsession with fire, after he burnt all the belongings in my room, including an £600 guitar. FML

#5910147
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33814) - you deserved it (2285)

On 10/20/2009 at 6:46am - kids - by NikkiiFireStarter (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I discovered that my abusive, obsessive, psychotic ex-boyfriend from over two years ago still has a thing for me. How did I find out? Although I've ignored him walking unnecessarily past my house for the past two months, it was hard to ignore when he fell from a tree outside my window. FML

#8704782
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32354) - you deserved it (2285)

On 02/27/2010 at 11:30pm - love - by sacrophage (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in my drama class and I was standing behind the curtains. My friend accidentally bumped me into the bin that was hidden behind the curtain. Everyone heard me fall and they opened the curtains. My butt was stuck in it and my knees were in front of my face. No one helped. FML

#7914611
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17602) - you deserved it (2285)

On 02/05/2010 at 8:20pm - misc - by JD (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after a week of staying in at night and fighting off a persistent cold, I was finally feeling well again, so I decided to go to my boyfriend's work BBQ. I got food poisoning. FML

#17876001
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26615) - you deserved it (2285)

On 10/01/2011 at 1:17am - misc - by Sickofbeingsick (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML

#19393049
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22050) - you deserved it (2285)

On 04/02/2012 at 1:38am - kids - by baldspot (woman) - Australia

Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML

#20466682
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34151) - you deserved it (2285)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:18pm - misc - by mel (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I woke up to find my freshly dry-cleaned $200 suit not on my bed. Instead I found my drunk ex-girlfriend. Not only did she break into my house, she decided that she wanted to sleep in my bed and threw my suit into the trash. I have a job interview today and the garbage men already came. FML

#7418364
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24697) - you deserved it (2284)

On 01/18/2010 at 12:05pm - misc - by Sam (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I decided to tell my husband our marriage was over after I found out that he'd not only been stealing from me, but he'd also been downloading child porn. He then asked if we could break up but live in the same house so I could help pay his bills. FML

#7353297
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34159) - you deserved it (2284)

On 01/15/2010 at 2:51am - love - by cuppincake (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was looking at my wedding photos. The photographer moved onto the "candid" shots and thought it would be cute to have pics of us making out at the reception. I have blonde hair. The girl in the picture did not. FML

#5570675
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44262) - you deserved it (2283)

On 09/30/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML

#17748753
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22742) - you deserved it (2283)

On 09/15/2011 at 12:22am - intimacy - by holler - Japan (Tokyo)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: