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Today, I finally got to see my boyfriend, after two months apart. As we hugged, he lifted me up and spun me around like in the movies. It would have been really romantic if I hadn't hit a little boy while he was riding past on his bike. I've just traumatized a little kid. FML

#19981666
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20769) - you deserved it (2279)

On 07/24/2012 at 2:33pm - kids - by Jessi (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother bitched me out for filing divorce papers against my abusive husband. According to her, it's a "slap in God's face". She's the one who's divorced two husbands so far because they weren't getting job promotions fast enough to support her hoarding habit. FML

#20852500
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44218) - you deserved it (2279)

On 08/24/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my wife, in her magnificent wedding dress, had her period during the ceremony. How did I find out? The same way everyone else did. FML

#505
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42231) - you deserved it (2278)

On 12/13/2008 at 12:48am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, like any other day I struggled to put my boots on, went to pee and noticed my pants were covered in what looked like a green dust. I touched it, sniffed it, and it smelled utterly horrendous. So I took my boots off again only to find that one of my cats had took a dump in one of them. FML

Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML

#20134273
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23442) - you deserved it (2278)

On 10/26/2012 at 1:58pm - intimacy - by fiftyshardsofbroccoli (woman) - United States

Today, I went back to school after missing the first 2 weeks of the new school year. I got grilled in my first lesson by my teacher for "gallivanting around on holiday in some sunny place" when I should've been at school learning. My dad had died from liver cancer. FML

#7470356
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51997) - you deserved it (2278)

On 01/21/2010 at 6:41am - health - by Dude (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really cute girl comes over and says my name. At this point, my heart is pumping with excitement and I'm thinking she is going to ask for my number. She said, "Did you know someone drew a penis on your back?" FML

#8433331
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20032) - you deserved it (2278)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:32am - misc - by GeneralElement (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I had a customer scream, rant, and bitch me out because the pictures she took with her own camera came out blurry. My manager took her side. FML

#17010125
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31338) - you deserved it (2278)

On 07/07/2011 at 2:23am - work - by photo grunt - United States (Indiana)

Today, at 7am, I was woken up by a telemarketer. He tried to sell me a bedroom set containing "a comfortable pillow and goose feather cover". I was working the graveyard shift and had only just gotten to sleep an hour earlier. FML

Today, I discovered that it is possible for bugs to lay eggs in your ears. FML

#19348017
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23754) - you deserved it (2278)

On 03/25/2012 at 10:53pm - health - by John (man) - Saint Lucia

Today, I went to the doctor to see why my walking pneumonia wasn't getting any better. It had. I've just somehow managed to also contract mono... while sitting home, alone. FML

#20935493
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35965) - you deserved it (2278)

On 10/27/2013 at 10:30am - health - by BadLuck (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I scored two prime baseball tickets from a supplier at work. I phoned my dad to tell him the good news. He said that's great, my brother and him would love to see the game. I said, no, I'm taking you to the game. He told me I was being selfish and hung up the phone. FML

#1926739
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57480) - you deserved it (2277)

On 05/14/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by Hank (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was driving home with my dad after buying a new truck. We were on the freeway and the engine wasn't revving up very much. My dad thought that something was wrong with my transmission, so he reached over to change gears. Most cars won't go into reverse at high speeds. Mine does. FML

#12706799
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21220) - you deserved it (2277)

On 08/23/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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