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Today, a middle-aged woman came into the shoe shop where I work, and asked me to help her put on a pair of boots that were obviously too small. Simultaneously as I knelt down by her feet, she booted me in the face while we tried to get them on. FML

#13933361
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22990) - you deserved it (3106)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went on a date with a respectable, successful, polite, and attractive guy. Ten minutes into the conversation, I find out he's a neo-Nazi and earned a swastika tattoo in prison for "something shady." FML

#17949951
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28588) - you deserved it (3106)

On 10/10/2011 at 3:16am - love - by thatgirl - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom went to the store. She said she was feeling generous, and had gotten everyone a little treat. My brothers each got candy and a movie. I got acne medication. FML

#19001319
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24522) - you deserved it (3107)

On 02/05/2012 at 1:49pm - misc - by CaityLovesBo - United States (Washington)

Today, it was my birthday. I only got one message, from my dad, which was a sexual image meant for my mother. FML

#21110643
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43578) - you deserved it (3106)

On 04/11/2014 at 9:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I found out the guy I've been dating for 5 months is engaged to his girlfriend of 3 years. I found out as we were talking, waiting for him to come outside after work. FML

#21288734
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35785) - you deserved it (3106)

On 10/30/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by taylor w - United States

Today, I went to the doctor to talk about my depression and low self-esteem. He told me that I shouldn't think of myself as a fat pig for being overweight. I don't think that and I'm NOT overweight. FML

#3462
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24923) - you deserved it (3105)

On 01/29/2009 at 5:46pm - health - by Coley - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at work in a lab. I spent all day growing a large bacterial culture. I went to retrieve it, only to find that someone had turned the incubation shaker up too high, and my flask had flown off and shattered. Not only did I lose all my work, but now the whole room is a biohazard. FML

#3859310
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39500) - you deserved it (3105)

On 07/18/2009 at 3:46pm - work - by startingover (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realised that what I had thought was my dad's default state for the past 17 years is actually his drunken state. FML

#15844310
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28626) - you deserved it (3105)

On 04/19/2011 at 5:50am - misc - by Violet (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, another "gentleman" called and asked for my "services". This is happening a lot lately, because apparently I have the old number of a prostitute. I told him I'm not who he's looking for, to which he replied that I sound like a "sexy lady" and that he wanted to have some fun. FML

#20748362
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42998) - you deserved it (3105)

On 06/26/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a drunk man walked into my house at 2pm, screaming out, "Honey, I'm home!" He had the wrong house, but it looks like I've finally met my new neighbour. FML

#20895601
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36735) - you deserved it (3105)

On 09/25/2013 at 12:35pm - misc - by nicetomeetyou2 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to splurge and get valet parking at a fancy restaurant. I got out of the car and gave the man my keys and watched as he slowly backed my car into another car. FML

#21319039
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32634) - you deserved it (3105)

On 12/17/2014 at 8:33am - misc - by seriously - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML

#3129056
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51200) - you deserved it (3104)

On 06/22/2009 at 8:21pm - work - by the_captain (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I applied for a dental insurance that claims "you cannot be denied". I was denied. FML

#16464062
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29599) - you deserved it (3104)

On 06/02/2011 at 3:26am - health - by Anonymous - United States



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