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Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML

#20089658
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24037) - you deserved it (2814)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Juiced (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realized that my dog is a pro at pooping directly in shoes. FML

#21257810
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28818) - you deserved it (2846)

On 09/13/2014 at 11:38pm - animals - by new dog - United States (Maryland)

Today, I took a nap because I've been sick for the past week and I was exhausted. When I woke up, my hair, shirt, pillow, and bedsheets were soaked. I threw up all over myself in my sleep. FML

#14095720
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30073) - you deserved it (2814)

On 12/05/2010 at 1:25pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, I met my husband's old high school sweetheart. My mother-in-law introduced me to her as "one of my son's friends." We've been married for over eight years. FML

#16771812
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34662) - you deserved it (2813)

On 06/20/2011 at 10:40pm - love - by minnEmouse (woman) - United States

Today, I had to explain to my 15-year-old son why it wouldn't be a good idea to include a picture of the red Power Ranger in his "Weapons throughout history" project. FML

#19365320
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16650) - you deserved it (2814)

On 03/28/2012 at 6:49pm - kids - by laststand11 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was offered a job. It only took me a year and 17 interviews to get an offer, and I have a PhD. FML

#3922
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26658) - you deserved it (2812)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:37am - work - by RogerReady - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. In order to make a good impression I was as polite as possible and tried to be as engaging as I could. Near the end of dinner my girlfriend's mom says, "I liked your old boyfriend better." FML

#785377
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55347) - you deserved it (2812)

On 04/03/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by str3tch - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my ex told me she still misses having sex with me. Her next text was "but it's still over." FML

#6211757
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18326) - you deserved it (2812)

On 11/08/2009 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by peacexout108 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I slipped on my icy front porch, fell back and hit my head on the step. I tried to get up, but lost my balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see my very hot, British, Ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML

#7757731
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22718) - you deserved it (2812)

On 01/31/2010 at 9:12pm - misc - by youlyingjerk (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that the $200 a week I was paying my dad for my car insurance and payment, wasn't actually paying my insurance and car payment. How did I find out he wasn't paying? Repo man took my car. FML

#13252849
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25952) - you deserved it (2812)

On 09/29/2010 at 7:04pm - money - by thankspops - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that if I try to resist a 70 pound bulldog that's humping my leg, I will end up with stitches. FML

#14294130
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27028) - you deserved it (2812)

On 12/22/2010 at 2:54am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my grandmother's graduation presents came for my sisters. Not only did she remember to send them cards, but money too. My graduation was a year ago, I received nothing, and last time she saw me, she didn't know my name. FML

Today, I have dark hairs growing on my chest, nipples and stomach... I'm a 19 year old girl. FML

#841
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30088) - you deserved it (2811)

On 01/02/2009 at 1:06pm - health - by - Sent from mobile version



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

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