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Today, I auditioned for a part in a play. I've been practicing for months, and was very excited. After I finished singing, the director whispered something to the other judges, and they all laughed. Hard. So much for the lead role. FML

#13881545
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20622) - you deserved it (2963)

On 11/17/2010 at 9:31pm - misc - by embarrassed -

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by writing a breakup note with permanent marker on my newly painted bedroom wall. FML

#17355077
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36530) - you deserved it (2963)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:47pm - love - by thedancer5 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally figured out why my mechanic was so cheap; he wanted to sleep with me. After I politely declined, he charged me regular price plus extra for "humiliating" him. He's 60. I just recently turned 18. FML

#17444055
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38426) - you deserved it (2963)

On 08/11/2011 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on a date at a restaurant with a guy. When he promised I wouldn't have to pay the bill, I didn't think he meant we'd be dining and dashing. FML

#17888720
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25163) - you deserved it (2963)

On 10/02/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by scared (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, in the senior class I teach, I asked my students who had traveled outside of the country, excluding Canada and Mexico. One student raised his hand and proudly stated, "Arizona". He wants to be a doctor. FML

#17980491
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28599) - you deserved it (2963)

On 10/14/2011 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend yet again unsuccessfully tried to hold in uncontrollable giggling every time I moaned or sighed during sex. He's 24. I'm terrified of his reaction should I ever reach an orgasm with him. FML

#19557308
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26793) - you deserved it (2963)

On 05/01/2012 at 7:02am - intimacy - by epicsquishii (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML

#19642292
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27871) - you deserved it (2963)

On 05/18/2012 at 3:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I accepted a great job offer I've been working months to earn so I can continue to live with my fiancé here in Poland. I just found out that my work visa was denied. Now I have to fly home to Canada and reapply before coming back. This takes a month. My new job starts tomorrow. FML

Today, I entered my bedroom, ready to play some COD on my xbox 360. Instead, I find a note where my xbox used to be. It read "You think you can cheat on me and get away with it? Fuck you. I smashed the hell out of your stupid xbox." It was signed by my girlfriend. I never cheated on her. FML

#7185908
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35551) - you deserved it (2965)

On 01/06/2010 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I found out that my entire family thinks I have no friends, am expressionless (to quote, "a robot") and that my monotonous voice hints at the suppressed depression hidden deep inside me. According to them, I need psychic evaluation. It all came out at a family reunion. FML

#8993949
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20473) - you deserved it (2962)

On 03/11/2010 at 9:28am - misc - by talhabilal - Pakistan (Punjab)

Today, my mom, who is relatively new to Facebook, posted on her friend's wall, telling her about her recent diagnosis of vaginal thrush. She assumed that her wall post was private. Six of my friends liked the post. FML

#18417580
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33917) - you deserved it (2962)

On 12/03/2011 at 6:23am - intimacy - by djkimmaz - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML

#20450908
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35750) - you deserved it (2962)

On 01/09/2013 at 10:15pm - love - by wtf dad - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realized the annoying squealing I hear every night isn't my guinea pig. Apparently my brothers girlfriend makes that sound when they have sex. FML

#62926
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44634) - you deserved it (2962)

On 02/17/2009 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by KTK (woman) - United States (Washington)



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