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Today, my wife knows tattoos are a huge turnoff for me. She decided the best way to change my mind about them would be to get one. Across her neck. Of our dog's name. FML

#20069857
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28980) - you deserved it (3113)

On 09/13/2012 at 2:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML

#19919285
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28107) - you deserved it (3113)

On 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm - misc - by I_Has_A_Fishy - United States (Texas)

Today, I was the maid of honor at my sister's wedding. I was the first one to walk down the aisle, where I managed to trip over a wire, shutting off the music and falling on my face. My family cheered and took pictures. FML

#19899247
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25200) - you deserved it (3113)

On 07/06/2012 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was finally given a parking spot at work. It turns out to be between an expensive sports car that never parks straight and a giant truck too big for its space. FML

#21215497
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42539) - you deserved it (3113)

On 07/20/2014 at 7:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, wanting to change from the usual pizza/coca cola menu, I decide to cook. After spending 1h30 making a "beef chili with ancho, mole, and cumin" I sprinkle a bit of salt on top of it. The top came off the salt. I think it's back to pizzas for me. FML

#1229
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18945) - you deserved it (3112)

On 01/15/2009 at 11:00am - health - by j0j0 - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I decided to tell my husband our marriage was over after I found out that he'd not only been stealing from me, but he'd also been downloading child porn. He then asked if we could break up but live in the same house so I could help pay his bills. FML

#7353297
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42203) - you deserved it (3112)

On 01/15/2010 at 2:51am - love - by cuppincake (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I contacted my biological father, after not speaking to him for some years, as we had a very strained relationship. I received an automated response. It's probably the best conversation we have ever had. FML

#16328382
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26630) - you deserved it (3112)

On 05/24/2011 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my mom told me that she rather wait for the city bus all day, than allow me to give her a ride. FML

#20052248
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16031) - you deserved it (3112)

On 09/01/2012 at 9:58am - misc - by Chucho - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my whole family made an hour-long drive to a restaurant that's just a few minutes away from my place. I wasn't invited. FML

#20626789
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45525) - you deserved it (3112)

On 04/28/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by lonesome - Canada

Today, I watched my grandfather try and park his car inside the storage area for shopping carts, thinking it was a parking space. FML

#14934394
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24917) - you deserved it (3111)

On 02/11/2011 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent robbery. When I answered the door, my brother saw badges, panicked, and jumped out our apartment's third-storey window in an attempt to escape. He thought they were after him for using a bong two weeks ago. I'm related to this twit. FML

#17252613
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31716) - you deserved it (3111)

On 07/25/2011 at 10:10am - misc - by Bec (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after having my car been broken into the day before because I didn't lock it, I made sure I locked my doors. When I got off shift and entered the parking lot, I noticed a brick had been thrown through my windshield and a note that said, "Nice Try". FML

#17037512
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39167) - you deserved it (3111)

On 07/09/2011 at 3:04am - misc - by JohnyP - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML

#20459473
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29869) - you deserved it (3111)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)



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