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Today, I had such a violent coughing fit that my stomach emptied itself all over the floor while at my sales job. FML

#15500531
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26851) - you deserved it (2790)

On 03/26/2011 at 4:54pm - work - by burntloyalty - United States

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

#20147554
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23538) - you deserved it (2790)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by i fking love docb - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML

#20461359
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31359) - you deserved it (2790)

On 01/15/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by veggieluver (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had an allergy test. Not only was I allergic to 35 out of the 40 items, they also found out that I'm allergic to the latex gloves my doctor happened to be wearing. Now my entire back is covered in a rash that will last at least another week. FML

#20783362
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46628) - you deserved it (2790)

On 07/15/2013 at 12:23am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I texted a cute picture of my boyfriend and me to my mom, who lives very far away. She replied saying that my Photoshop skills are great, but that I don't need to go so far to pretend that anyone would date me, and that there's no shame in being single at 25. FML

#20899972
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43726) - you deserved it (2790)

On 09/29/2013 at 12:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, on my last break, a lady comes up to me and asks if she could have a hug because I reminded her of her daughter that died in a car accident 3 years before. Touched, I called my mom to let her know that I loved her. Before I could tell her, she said it was probably a scam and hung up on me. FML

Today, I carpooled with my co-worker whose girlfriend has left him. The radio was playing the song "Jar of Hearts." He then began to sing intensely, and broke down crying. FML

#18244080
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26684) - you deserved it (2789)

On 11/14/2011 at 3:45am - work - by Anon - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML

#18038155
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24279) - you deserved it (2789)

On 10/21/2011 at 11:35am - animals - by Mr.P - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML

#19421032
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21691) - you deserved it (2789)

On 04/07/2012 at 12:32am - animals - by day001313 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, it hit me that my dad didn't cry when I moved out, he did so only when I came back later to pick up my cat. FML

#6761317
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24110) - you deserved it (2788)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:50am - animals - by number2 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I noticed that my wife changed her status on Facebook to "widow" and a lot of strange guys commented saying stuff like "Finally." Last I checked, I'm not dead. FML

#13352571
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41187) - you deserved it (2788)

On 10/07/2010 at 6:10am - love - by Alex - United States (Connecticut)

Today, it was my first day back to work since having my first baby. To show I had caught up on everything, I had to give a presentation at the end of the day to the heads of my department. It went really well until the end, when one of them pointed out that breast-milk had been leaking through my clothes the entire time. FML

#13874494
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32343) - you deserved it (2788)

On 11/17/2010 at 7:09am - work - by mommy (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I did a quick load of laundry so I would have work clothes for the week. I don't have my own dryer so I dried them in the one in my building. After running out to my car, I came back to find that my neighborhood kids had added 6 sharpies to my clothes. Every uniform I own has stripes. FML

#12957316
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21649) - you deserved it (2788)

On 09/08/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by arose - United States



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