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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, after working another double shift because I want to buy my boyfriend a really expensive anniversary present, I get to his apartment to find him calculating in how many paychecks he'll be able to afford a Caribbean getaway. For himself. FML

#5798197
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31849) - you deserved it (3342)

On 10/12/2009 at 3:31pm - love - by Sucker (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I saw a my neighbor being mugged on the street. I wanted to help, so I tried to yank her purse from the mugger's hands. I guess my neighbor didn't see me clearly, because she thought I was another mugger and kicked my directly in the happy sacks. FML

#6452828
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30885) - you deserved it (3342)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally had enough money to buy my girlfriend an engagement ring, which I was going to pick up after work. On my way to work, I slid on the ice and crashed into a parked vehicle. The damage to my car is almost twice the amount of the ring. FML

#6536864
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34945) - you deserved it (3342)

On 11/30/2009 at 6:24pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was reading to a child during nap time because she woke up crying. She calmed down right after I began reading, but soon started crying again. I was confused until I felt something warm and wet on my leg. She peed on me. FML

#13728645
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24026) - you deserved it (3342)

On 11/05/2010 at 6:02pm - work - by Username - France

Today, my dad decided to wake me up by opening the shades and having the sun shine on my face. When he pulled them up, the metal holder on top broke off and fell on me. FML

#15822401
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28387) - you deserved it (3342)

On 04/17/2011 at 2:32pm - misc - by zoearcu - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a first date. I didn't know that licking my neck was on the agenda. FML

#21291715
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31502) - you deserved it (3342)

On 11/04/2014 at 1:24am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to a club to celebrate New Year's Eve. A cute guy came up to me at the bar and asked my name. I thought my 8 year long dry spell was finally about to end. I smiled and said "Chrissy!" He said "That's a whore's name!" and wandered back off into the crowd. FML

#21327860
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34037) - you deserved it (3342)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:39pm - love - by cakestar9 (woman) - Ireland (Clare)

Today, I got a call from my parents' divorce lawyer. When I answered the phone, she thought I was my mother and told me the details about my parent's divorce. I'm a 13-year-old boy who sounds like a woman and just learned that my parents are separating. FML

#4374791
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61714) - you deserved it (3341)

On 08/07/2009 at 11:57pm - misc - by madaskueuchiha (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I dropped my remote behind the bed and went to reach for it. Instead of the remote, I grabbed hold of a rat carcass that must have got in when builders were working in my bathroom several weeks ago. FML

#14221771
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30113) - you deserved it (3341)

On 12/16/2010 at 6:54am - misc - by xxmollyxx (woman) - Sweden

Today, I was getting frisky with my fiancée when she started talking about her dead great-grandma. FML

#13415176
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25274) - you deserved it (3341)

On 10/12/2010 at 12:48am - intimacy - by tdiz - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my grandmother updated her will. Previously, it denied inheritance to family members with non-white spouses, and any mixed-raced children. Now it does the same with politically correct terminology. She then bragged about how accepting she is in front of my Korean husband and our daughter. FML

#17336031
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31824) - you deserved it (3341)

On 08/01/2011 at 8:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML

#19504984
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27702) - you deserved it (3341)

On 04/21/2012 at 4:36am - animals - by yikes - United States

Today, I was driving out to a concert I've been excited about for months. I was using my GPS to guide me to the venue. It decided to guide me to an abandoned warehouse in the middle of town. FML

#20021994
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20113) - you deserved it (3341)

On 08/15/2012 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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