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Today, my hay-fever started. I'm five months pregnant, and every time I cough, sneeze or blow my nose I either fart or wet myself. FML

#19243169
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29273) - you deserved it (2738)

On 03/08/2012 at 11:53pm - health - by radiating (woman) -

Today, at work the police were looking over video footage of an incident earlier in the day where a car had slammed hard into another one in the carpark. My manager came into the kitchen and asked if I wanted to come see it to for a laugh. The car that got hit was mine. FML

#742330
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71523) - you deserved it (2737)

On 04/01/2009 at 6:07am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my grandmother introduced me to her friends as her 16-year-old granddaughter "who has never been kissed." FML

#18692493
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24976) - you deserved it (2737)

On 01/03/2012 at 12:25am - misc - by cheese123 (woman) - United States

Today, while I was applying some eyeliner, my cat jumped onto the counter and managed to headbutt me. The wand scratched a good portion of my eyeball, and now for the next few weeks, I will have to deal with the pain of a corneal abrasion. FML

#19627607
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19986) - you deserved it (2737)

On 05/15/2012 at 3:27pm - health - by rhya4n (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I realized that the only times I get to hang out with my friends outside of school are when one of them accidentally mentions plans in front of me and they are obligated by social protocol to invite me. FML

#19813737
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25961) - you deserved it (2738)

On 06/19/2012 at 4:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my dad's conspiracy theory obsession hit a new level of stupidity when he blurted "false flag" because our toaster stopped working. FML

#20797881
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31597) - you deserved it (2737)

On 07/22/2013 at 4:19pm - misc - by facepalm (man) - United States

Today, I found out that apparently I'm in Miami. I am also enjoying a five-star hotel and all of its services. Only one problem: I'm still here, stuck in a small suburban town. F*ck identity theft. FML

#20844068
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47857) - you deserved it (2737)

On 08/19/2013 at 12:30am - misc - by iwannagotomiamitoo - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML

#4897987
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37984) - you deserved it (2736)

On 08/29/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by chinesef000d (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while at my tutoring job, a middle school kid couldn't find a word in the online dictionary. I told him he could check a regular paperback dictionary. His response was, "That's what you did in your day. That's not what we do in our day." I'm only 19. FML

#8779479
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23918) - you deserved it (2736)

On 03/02/2010 at 7:00pm - kids - by csc4lyfe09 - United States (Kansas)

Today, I had a violent allergic reaction to some bread I ate at a restaurant. How did they apologize? By sending me a free basket of bread. FML

#17782998
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28782) - you deserved it (2736)

On 09/19/2011 at 8:21pm - health - by Eli (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, it's day two of my family's camping trip. Despite the weather, bugs, and portapotties, we were doing okay, until the can opener broke. My husband is stubbornly insisting that we live off cereal and peanut butter for another five days. FML

#19766054
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18983) - you deserved it (2736)

On 06/10/2012 at 3:19pm - misc - by Danielle (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I put the little boy I nanny for in time-out. In retaliation he blasted an air horn in my face. I can only hear out of one ear now. FML

#19769607
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21572) - you deserved it (2736)

On 06/11/2012 at 7:18am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came to school late because I had to drop off my daughter at school. When I got on campus, the security told me I was late but I said, "Oh no, I work here." and he said, "Oh like I haven't heard that one before." And he took me to detention. My boss, the Principal, had to bail me out. FML

#94927
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43522) - you deserved it (2735)

On 02/21/2009 at 6:22am - work - by Lily (woman) - United States (California)



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