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Today, I was having my birthday party. My dad showed up late, blind drunk, and drove his car straight through my garage door. FML

#21105340
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40656) - you deserved it (3157)

On 04/05/2014 at 6:04pm - misc - by as-salamu alaykum, motherfucker - United Kingdom (Wirral)

Today, I broke my toe. After telling my friend about it, he promptly stomped on it to "see what my reaction would be." FML

#13083989
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30198) - you deserved it (3156)

On 09/17/2010 at 7:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out that while I see a therapist for my trust issues, my husband sleeps with our nanny. FML

#13885002
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39292) - you deserved it (3156)

On 11/18/2010 at 4:23am - intimacy - by nevergonnatrust -

Today, I have to take medicine that gives me painful, violent farts. Tomorrow, I have to either get fired or go work in an office that's dead silent. How silent? Last week I heard my coworker drop a paperclip, three desks away. FML

#17305922
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36752) - you deserved it (3156)

On 07/30/2011 at 2:58am - work - by Tootie (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after I explained to my waitress that I have an allergy to butter, she nonetheless put some on my baked potato. When I had her get me another, without butter, she came back with one and then asked if I would like butter with it. FML

#20862628
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45021) - you deserved it (3156)

On 09/01/2013 at 12:40am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended like it never happened. FML

Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML

#21249060
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34844) - you deserved it (3156)

On 08/31/2014 at 1:51pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at school, I got stuck in the elevator and was about to panic before I remembered I had my phone. I called my mother and she called the school to tell them that I was stuck. They got me out in a few minutes and then confiscated my phone and gave me two detentions for using it in school. FML

#6252337
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50093) - you deserved it (3156)

On 11/11/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by noexceptions (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was extremely constipated. This is a side effect of the medication I take to alleviate my stomach condition. Due to this same condition I can't eat much roughage. We have no laxatives or stool softeners, and I have been shitting bricks for three days. FML

#14124824
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21950) - you deserved it (3155)

On 12/07/2010 at 9:38pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, me and a couple of friends decided to go camping in a national park . When we got there, a ranger came up to us and said, "There have been many sightings of coyotes, don't worry, if they charge you, they'll bluff and flee at the last moment." We met a coyote, it didn't bluff. FML

#10594461
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26678) - you deserved it (3155)

On 05/17/2010 at 7:00pm - misc - by Coyote (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML

#20053776
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27055) - you deserved it (3155)

On 09/02/2012 at 8:44am - love - by rotezora (woman) - Switzerland (Basel-Stadt)

Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML

#20648219
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42438) - you deserved it (3155)

On 05/07/2013 at 6:13pm - misc - by fuckingjesusgran (man) - Bosnia and Herzegovina (Federation of Bosnia and Herzego)

Today, after a relaxing week away, my husband and I came home to discover our 17 year old son crashed one of our cars against the other. FML

#21396823
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27627) - you deserved it (3155)

On 04/20/2015 at 12:57pm - money - by ihatekids - United States (Massachusetts)



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