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Today, my dad told me someday I'll find a man who wants a nice lumberjack for a wife. FML

#21279635
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31274) - you deserved it (3016)

On 10/17/2014 at 4:14am - love - by axewoman -

Today, after listening to a group of my friends ranting on about how much they love babies and can't wait to have them, I got to witness their looks of horror and disgust as I expressed my desire to not have children. I also happened to be the only girl there. FML

#21335310
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29039) - you deserved it (3017)

On 01/11/2015 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while I was on the bus, my foot fell asleep. When we arrived at my stop, I stood up and limped to the front of the bus. As I walked down the steps, I tripped, fell, and smashed my nose into the ground. The driver just laughed and drove away. FML

#17801056
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26097) - you deserved it (3015)

On 09/21/2011 at 11:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML

#17508595
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37884) - you deserved it (3015)

On 08/18/2011 at 9:38am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bexley)

Today, a neighbor came by while I was cooking. She asked for some of my cheese, so I gave her a big slice and told her I only had cheddar. She angrily refused to accept the slice, and made her way to my fridge. She then yelled at me for not having an assortment of cheeses. FML

#18253335
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32400) - you deserved it (3015)

On 11/15/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by SetoAyumi - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

#19410577
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36509) - you deserved it (3015)

On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I left my desk to go to the bathroom. I arrived back at my desk to a large package of SlimQuick packets. Guess my coworkers think I need to lose weight. FML

#21291592
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27725) - you deserved it (3015)

On 11/03/2014 at 10:38pm - work - by blondieforlife - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I drove to a party after getting my car back from the shop. A thunderstorm started as I made my way there and upon arriving, the power went out. The guests decided to watch the storm from the front windows when someone mentioned how funny it would be if a tree fell on my car. Seconds later, one did. FML

#111850
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61144) - you deserved it (3014)

On 02/23/2009 at 3:08am - misc - by Jessie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to go along with my mom to meet some of her old friends from high school. When they asked her about how her life was going, she said she was married, always traveling, no kids, and introduced me as the neighbor's kid she babysits. FML

#12498978
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40618) - you deserved it (3014)

On 08/13/2010 at 12:28pm - kids - by Bullet - United States

Today, my wife announced that she wanted a divorce. She'd actually started dating another man a few months ago, but she wanted to drag our marriage out as long as possible just in case her new relationship fell through. FML

#16515847
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41741) - you deserved it (3014)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:20pm - love - by mj - United States

Today, when my mother-in-law told me I was losing weight, my husband started laughing. FML

#18430491
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25548) - you deserved it (3014)

On 12/04/2011 at 8:13pm - love - by brittrod - United States

Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML

#20083358
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20456) - you deserved it (3014)

On 09/22/2012 at 10:12am - animals - by Grauncho - United States (Illinois)

Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML

#20421301
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26114) - you deserved it (3014)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by everore - United States (Utah)



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