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Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML

#21277056
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44610) - you deserved it (2968)

On 10/13/2014 at 5:33pm - health - by clumsylobster - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I installed high performance brakes on my car after fearing that my old brake system was to weak and I could get into a crash. On the test drive a car in front of me stopped short. My new brakes worked, the ones on the car behind me didn't. I now have whiplash and a totalled car. FML

#1861199
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46357) - you deserved it (2967)

On 05/11/2009 at 11:13pm - misc - by Lex (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my daughter has a higher paid job in the same company I work in. I also found out she is dating my boss. FML

#14160788
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31067) - you deserved it (2967)

On 12/11/2010 at 12:10am - work - by Anonymous - Indonesia

Today, I woke up with bowel problems which have been causing me to violently pass wind every couple of minutes. I have to spend the next two hours sitting an exam in dead silence. FML

#16607175
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33891) - you deserved it (2967)

On 06/11/2011 at 4:48am - health - by pleasestop (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was staying at a seedy apartment. A group of drunken idiots next door decided it would be fun to run into the wall simultaneously. They broke through the rotted wall and ran me over. FML

#20982547
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40331) - you deserved it (2967)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:36am - misc - by unlucky neighbors - China (Shanghai)

Today, a would-be customer practically kicked my store door in, then got pissed and started throwing around insults after I told him that we were still closed, hence the closed sign. He claimed the sign was "confusing". FML

#21098658
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35619) - you deserved it (2967)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:11pm - work - by IDIOT (man) - United States

Today, I almost got written up for insubordination by my boss. All I did was explain to him that I couldn't help a tourist out because I speak Japanese, not Korean, and that it's not in fact "the same Asian shit" as he seemed to think. FML

#21177954
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43175) - you deserved it (2967)

On 06/17/2014 at 11:28am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I hung out with the guy I've liked for the first time in 3 years. And when he left, I gave him a hug, he pushed me, I tripped, and hit my head into the wall. Then to save his embarassment, pushed me over onto the couch and pretended to rape me. FML

Today, my girlfriend told me that her parents have a bet going on when we are going to break up. FML

#14381154
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25139) - you deserved it (2966)

On 12/29/2010 at 10:24am - love - by ... -

Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML

#17396996
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23944) - you deserved it (2966)

On 08/07/2011 at 1:14pm - kids - by SheaLili - United States (California)

Today, coming home from a trip in the mountains, I got a cracked radiator and my car overheated. My dad came to get me, he drove my car and I followed in his. I got pulled over and ticketed for his expired registration. FML

#21263040
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32871) - you deserved it (2966)

On 09/22/2014 at 10:25am - misc - by willconqueror1 - United States

Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML

#16474774
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36800) - you deserved it (2965)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:44pm - work - by corn - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML

#17789217
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33726) - you deserved it (2965)

On 09/20/2011 at 5:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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