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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my dad came home from work complaining about all the people he'd seen. He said he doesn't understand why so many people with problems have to confide in him. He's a psychologist. FML

#16999068
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29876) - you deserved it (2820)

On 07/06/2011 at 10:52am - misc - by siighh - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my roommates thought I wasn't home and started talking about me. Apparently I'm a lesbian, devil worshiper, and an alcoholic. I didn't know my life was so fascinating. FML

#17964342
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30365) - you deserved it (2820)

On 10/11/2011 at 11:34pm - misc - by FroggyGirl888 - United States

Today, I was watching my cousin shoot at targets on hay bales with his plastic pellet BB gun. After my sister asked him if it would hurt to be shot with one, my cousin smiled at her and said, "Ask your sister" as he shot me in the leg. I think my screaming was obvious enough. It hurts. FML

#17995977
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26295) - you deserved it (2820)

On 10/16/2011 at 3:06am - misc - by ThanksChris (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I wandered around my property with my children, trying to find our escaped house cat. While in the more wooded parts, we spotted her on the ground, being picked over by a coyote. FML

#18795812
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36103) - you deserved it (2820)

On 01/13/2012 at 1:57pm - animals - by Jeslyn03 - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my kids tried to make grilled cheese by turning the toaster sideways. When all was done, it all flew out onto the kitchen floor. Both my kids and my husband left the mess there for me to clean up when I got home. FML

#18891516
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23039) - you deserved it (2820)

On 01/23/2012 at 5:07pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

#20860284
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43650) - you deserved it (2820)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, as a science teacher, I did a science experiment in front of a class. One of my students asked me if it was "photoshopped." He was being serious. FML

#20930096
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42168) - you deserved it (2820)

On 10/22/2013 at 10:24am - kids - by jdawn99 - United States (Kansas)

Today, I discovered that my fiancé had responded to an online missed connection posting. He has been emailing, exchanging pictures and making plans to go out with this girl. We are supposed to be married in the fall and just put down the non-refundable deposit on our reception site. FML

#9183586
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29063) - you deserved it (2819)

On 03/18/2010 at 9:49am - love - by anon17 - United States

Today, while walking home I was jumped by two guys, one of whom shouted, "You shouldn't have run your mouth off, Rick!" My name is John. Only after they repeatedly axe-kicked me in the chest did they realize their mistake. It now hurts to breathe. FML

#16838939
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39150) - you deserved it (2819)

On 06/24/2011 at 7:58pm - misc - by John - United States (California)

Today, I got an email saying the gift I'd ordered for my boyfriend of three years had been sent. I ordered it a couple of days ago because I thought he needed cheering up. I guess he found a better way of doing so himself; he broke up with me yesterday. FML

#20677289
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39569) - you deserved it (2819)

On 05/21/2013 at 6:24am - love - by moikristine - Norway (Akershus)

Today, a lady told me that I should sue whoever screwed up my "nose job" so badly. This is the nose I was born with. FML

#20983819
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39207) - you deserved it (2819)

On 12/07/2013 at 12:30pm - health - by :^( (woman) - Bahrain (Madinat)

Today, I had a date with a girl. After movies and dinner we came back to my place. I had to go to the washroom BADLY. I took a BIG #2 and when I went to flush the toilet to my horror it didn't flush. FML

#1663
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17728) - you deserved it (2818)

On 01/18/2009 at 8:01pm - misc - by frankie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. The only gift I got was a bill from my parents. Apparently, the rent is due on the 1st. FML

#14251637
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29369) - you deserved it (2818)

On 12/18/2010 at 8:02pm - misc - by Dopeboyfresh71 - United States (Pennsylvania)



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  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

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