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Today, I got pulled over for a busted tail light. The officer gave me a warning and told me to fix it. Ten minutes later I was pulled over again for the same busted tail light by the same cop. This time he wrote me a ticket. FML

#18721494
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35996) - you deserved it (3530)

On 01/05/2012 at 11:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my fiancé dumped me because he claimed he needed to "focus on his career and his engagement." When I asked him how dumping me would help with his engagement, he immediately replied with, "No, I mean my other one." FML

#20569834
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49722) - you deserved it (3530)

On 04/01/2013 at 10:50am - love - by t.hughes (woman) - United States

Today, my room mate told all of our mutual friends that he had walked in on me doing woodwork in my room. They all thought he meant he had caught me rubbing one out. I'm actually building a guitar. FML

#20883989
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50557) - you deserved it (3530)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - intimacy - by I have wood (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I've been unemployed for a year. For the last six months I had been trying for a good paying job at a great company, who kept saying they would hire me when the economy improves. Three weeks ago I gave up and moved 2 hours away. Guess who just called to finally offer me a job. FML

Today, I was about to kiss my girlfriend right as the clock struck midnight for New Year's. She put her hand in front of my mouth, and broke up with me. FML

#14417196
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48006) - you deserved it (3529)

On 01/01/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dad demonstrated just how incredibly illiterate he is. He sent me a chain email about the awful lives of people with "Asparagus syndrome". FML

#16078669
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27224) - you deserved it (3529)

On 05/07/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by K. - United States (Florida)

Today, the power went out at school. If it's out for more than twenty minutes, standard procedure is to let us go home. They came back on almost nineteen minutes later. FML

#20118123
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27965) - you deserved it (3529)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:00pm - work - by anon - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the Salvation Army to donate some clothes. As I was handing over the 4 huge bags that I had carried for 10 blocks, while 6 months pregnant, somebody stole my purse. FML

#14211022
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42054) - you deserved it (3528)

On 12/15/2010 at 6:58am - misc - by mugged (woman) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, I was working when I delivered the standard "Hello, how are you?" to a customer. He took the opportunity to tell me about his deceased wife, his estranged children, and his anal tearing. After a while, I tried to help someone else, and he complained to my manager. I was written up. FML

#17754607
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29747) - you deserved it (3528)

On 09/15/2011 at 10:38pm - work - by MrTandy - United States (New York)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband had a vasectomy this past summer after our son was born and only took one of the two tests. I haven't cheated. He refuses to believe me or get his spunk checked again. FML

#20500417
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37503) - you deserved it (3528)

On 02/10/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by Totallyscrewed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend let me stay over at her house for the first time. I went into her room only to find out she's obsessed with the Joker and has a bunch of posters and toys of him. I am deathly afraid of clowns. FML

#21509727
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22609) - you deserved it (3528)

On 12/31/2015 at 11:40am - love - by ScaredOfClowns (man) - United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove)

Today, my mum took away my laptop and my phone and won't let me call, text, or go out with friends for one month. Why? I left the toilet seat up. I'm writing this from a public library. FML

#21462073
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25154) - you deserved it (3528)

On 08/29/2015 at 10:06am - misc - by Lord Buttfuck IV (man) - France

Today, I got laid off from work. I was being escorted to the elevator when another coworker stepped inside. He said, "How goes it?". I said, "It goes". Then he said, "At least we have a job". FML

#761537
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70138) - you deserved it (3527)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by Dude - United States (California)



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