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Today, my friend told me she was going to start drinking gatorade, so she could get the body shape of the athletes on TV. When I tried to explain to her that she'd also need to work out to achieve this, she went nuts and hurled the bottle at my face. FML

#19818788
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24953) - you deserved it (2795)

On 06/20/2012 at 1:59pm - misc - by phonnah - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML

#20486320
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33644) - you deserved it (2794)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm - health - by cay - United States (New York)

Today, my friends started calling me "Soberman" because I recently gave up alcohol and have a Doberman. Normally, I wouldn't mind the nickname, but they call me Soberman everywhere. My new boss now thinks it's because I AM an alcoholic. FML

#20964266
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37492) - you deserved it (2794)

On 11/20/2013 at 6:09am - misc - by juice723 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it was my father's wedding. He never really cared for me, and his fiancée is my age, but I thought it would mean a lot to him if I went. I was supposed to wait for his call the day before, so he would give me directions and tell me when it starts. He never called. FML

#4899875
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46095) - you deserved it (2793)

On 08/29/2009 at 3:21am - misc - by kkiv (woman) - Poland (Warszawa)

Today, I was introduced to my future stepmother, but it turns out that I already know her. Not only are we the same age and went to the same high school, when we were in the same math class together the teacher would often confuse our names because "we could pass as twins". FML

#4329050
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65141) - you deserved it (2793)

On 08/06/2009 at 4:45am - misc - by whatismydadthinking (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I found out that I have a gluten allergy. What this basically means is that I can't eat anything with wheat in it; bread, pasta, cake, you name it. I am Italian, this basically limits me from eating any of the awesome food my family makes almost every night. Here I come plain rice. FML

#13531568
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32718) - you deserved it (2793)

On 10/20/2010 at 11:12pm - health - by allergic - Sent from mobile version

Today, my son thought it would be a great idea to spray a whole can of spray tan all over my freshly-painted white bathroom walls as an "experiment". He's 18. FML

#20010519
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20724) - you deserved it (2793)

On 08/08/2012 at 11:29pm - kids - by bellabreeze - United States (Maine)

Today, I had my first day off in weeks. I was excited about getting to sleep in, until my boss called me at 6:30 in the morning to remind me I didn't have to come into work. Thanks. FML

#5482829
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35036) - you deserved it (2792)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by NoSleep (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mum thought it would be acceptable to tell my school that the reason I will not be attending classes is because I have "the shits." FML

#12960697
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27438) - you deserved it (2792)

On 09/08/2010 at 7:24am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, my mother started dating a man who insists people call him 'Panda'. FML

#17092208
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30545) - you deserved it (2792)

On 07/13/2011 at 9:11am - misc - by butimarealbear (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a letter of complaint from my landlord. It said my loud, obnoxious trampling is disturbing my downstairs neighbor, and I have to stop. I'm small and hardly weigh anything, but it seems that if I want to keep my lease, I'll have to master the art of levitating. FML

#18281989
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25840) - you deserved it (2792)

On 11/18/2011 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I had to proof-read a terrible paper containing a bunch of mistakes. It took me 4 hours and I didn't eat dinner until I was done. His response when he got it back was, "What the fuck did you do to my paper?! You bitch!" FML

#20569253
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32079) - you deserved it (2792)

On 03/31/2013 at 10:59pm - misc - by pissed_off_girl - United States (Virginia)

Today, I missed my University entrance exam because of heavy traffic. I was stuck at one intersection for over an hour. The real kicker? It took me less than 10 minutes to drive home. FML

#5942414
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30257) - you deserved it (2791)

On 10/22/2009 at 9:11am - misc - by roadrage (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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