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Today, I asked my wife for her computer password because my computer crashed. After minutes of begging she finally told me. Turns out that her password happens to be her ex's name. FML

by expassword / 12/16/2010 at 7:20pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I woke up excited to go trick-or-treating, the treat being candy. Instead, my town has officially postponed Halloween due to blackouts. I guess this is where the trick comes in. FML

by anonymous / 10/31/2011 at 3:11pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML

by balkangirl94 / 12/23/2011 at 2:42am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my water broke. I called my mom, who had agreed to watch my other two kids while I went to the hospital. When I asked her to come over, she just said, "Sorry, now isn't a good time." FML

by Upset Mommy / 07/14/2013 at 12:32am / United States / Health

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer at my job. Apparently, wearing "ugly, thick-framed hipster glasses as a fashion statement is a HUGE faux pas." These are my actual prescription glasses, and "faux pas" is not pronounced "fox paws". FML

by hipster glasses / 08/16/2013 at 7:08am / United States / Work

Today, I found out I do not have a fast metabolism, I've actually had a tape worm living inside me for 3 years. FML

by Iskylite / 09/10/2013 at 5:41pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I realized that I get more mail addressed to the old tenant of my apartment than to me. He hasn't lived here in years. FML

by you'vegotmail(not) / 04/18/2014 at 7:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sent my long-distance boyfriend a heartfelt message about how much I missed him. He sent me back a picture of a Minion. FML

by anon / 07/17/2015 at 3:04am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, my boyfriend took me out to meet his friends. It was going really well until I left to use the bathroom and two of the girls with us came in and started talking about how creepy Matt's new girlfriend is and that they're happy he's going to dump her. My boyfriend is Matt. FML

by fuuuudge / 08/19/2009 at 1:55am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my little sister tripped when trying to walk up the stairs with a sandwich in one hand and my laptop in the other. She choose to save her sandwich instead of my £500 laptop. FML

by Laptop / 05/25/2010 at 12:44am / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend left for a 2-year job posting in China. We had agreed to maintain a long distance relationship and even worked out a visiting schedule. Later that night, after trying to reach him, I realized the numbers he gave me weren't for China. The country code doesn't even exist. FML

by dumbass / 02/06/2011 at 7:58pm / Love

Today, my boyfriend was introducing me to some business partners. As he was going along telling me their names, when he introduced me, he called me by my best friend's name. FML

by ohmylantis / 05/04/2011 at 10:50am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2012 at 1:18am / United States (New Mexico) / Love