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Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML

#20466682
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34144) - you deserved it (2285)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:18pm - misc - by mel (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was working at the school when one of the kids came crying to me about needing help with his zipper after a little "accident". Forbidden by a district ordinance to touch them in certain areas, there was nothing I could do; to which he cried and pissed his pants. Again. FML

#6350911
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30026) - you deserved it (2284)

On 11/18/2009 at 1:05am - kids - by not_trained_for_this (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to find my freshly dry-cleaned $200 suit not on my bed. Instead I found my drunk ex-girlfriend. Not only did she break into my house, she decided that she wanted to sleep in my bed and threw my suit into the trash. I have a job interview today and the garbage men already came. FML

#7418364
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24685) - you deserved it (2284)

On 01/18/2010 at 12:05pm - misc - by Sam (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I decided to tell my husband our marriage was over after I found out that he'd not only been stealing from me, but he'd also been downloading child porn. He then asked if we could break up but live in the same house so I could help pay his bills. FML

#7353297
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34153) - you deserved it (2284)

On 01/15/2010 at 2:51am - love - by cuppincake (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was given a ticket for running a red light. The reason? I was moving out of the way of an ambulance. The police officer watched it go by. FML

#7434371
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27353) - you deserved it (2284)

On 01/19/2010 at 8:20am - misc - by Samaritan (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML

#19393049
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22040) - you deserved it (2284)

On 04/02/2012 at 1:38am - kids - by baldspot (woman) - Australia

Today, I was looking at my wedding photos. The photographer moved onto the "candid" shots and thought it would be cute to have pics of us making out at the reception. I have blonde hair. The girl in the picture did not. FML

#5570675
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44258) - you deserved it (2283)

On 09/30/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I discovered that my abusive, obsessive, psychotic ex-boyfriend from over two years ago still has a thing for me. How did I find out? Although I've ignored him walking unnecessarily past my house for the past two months, it was hard to ignore when he fell from a tree outside my window. FML

#8704782
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32337) - you deserved it (2283)

On 02/27/2010 at 11:30pm - love - by sacrophage (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in my drama class and I was standing behind the curtains. My friend accidentally bumped me into the bin that was hidden behind the curtain. Everyone heard me fall and they opened the curtains. My butt was stuck in it and my knees were in front of my face. No one helped. FML

#7914611
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17588) - you deserved it (2283)

On 02/05/2010 at 8:20pm - misc - by JD (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML

#17748753
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22723) - you deserved it (2283)

On 09/15/2011 at 12:22am - intimacy - by holler - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I filled out an application for a job at Dairy Queen. I handed my application to the manager along with my résumé, and he said he'd be in contact with me. Not even five minutes after I left, a friend who works there sent me a picture of my crumpled-up application in the trash. FML

#20526818
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31482) - you deserved it (2283)

On 03/01/2013 at 10:52am - work - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, a customer screamed at me, because her iced coffee tasted exactly like coffee, and she hates coffee. Sadly, this isn't even the most insane person I've had to deal with at this job. FML

#20820474
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42869) - you deserved it (2283)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:09pm - work - by Neanderthals walk among us (woman) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I gave blood. He sneezed while he stuck the needle in my arm. FML

#12612663
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31827) - you deserved it (2282)

On 08/18/2010 at 9:26pm - health - by gorey - Canada (Alberta)



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