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Today, my parents had a fight as to which one of them is the most cultured. As a result, they've begun writing my chore lists in a variety of languages. If I don't do them, I'm grounded. I only speak English. FML

#18025150
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24682) - you deserved it (2878)

On 10/19/2011 at 6:29pm - misc - by Missy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was very worried about my girlfriend of two years. She has recently moved into her apartment, and I hadn't heard from her for four days. Don't worry, though, she's fine. According to her mother's Facebook, she moved in with her old boyfriend. FML

#20578406
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45583) - you deserved it (2878)

On 04/07/2013 at 12:07am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after months of tests for mystery nerve pain, I went to get more blood taken only to leave the clinic with an empty tin to collect my bowel movements for the next 72 hours. Which needs to be refrigerated. I live with 4 other people, with one fridge. FML

#20688590
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44027) - you deserved it (2878)

On 05/27/2013 at 1:05am - health - by you're shitting me - Australia

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. As I was leaving his house I hear him shout "Hey! Wait! Sweetie, come back here!". He was talking to his cat who ran out the door behind me. FML

#4733759
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32796) - you deserved it (2877)

On 08/22/2009 at 11:39am - love - by roostergirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was working as a cashier at my job. A guy came up with a cart full of stuff and it took me 10 minutes to ring it all up. When I told him his total, he felt his pockets, said "Oh shit I forgot my wallet!" and walked away. He left about 15 bags worth of things for me to put back. FML

#4219084
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41310) - you deserved it (2877)

On 08/02/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by drano - United States (California)

Today, I nervously introduced my mother to my new boyfriend. I had to sit and watch her flirt with him for an hour. When I took her in the other room and confronted her about it, she said, "Don't you dare ruin this for me!" FML

#13241865
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40281) - you deserved it (2877)

On 09/28/2010 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I found out that my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited. I had just finished planning a surprise party for her. FML

#10796974
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39011) - you deserved it (2877)

On 05/27/2010 at 10:06am - misc - by reginaphalange - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my wife screamed at me, calling me a "useless, ungrateful piece of crap", all because I wouldn't have sex with her, despite hours of her nagging. I said no because I've been laid-up in bed for the past week waiting on surgery for an excruciatingly painful hernia. FML

#18986736
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32355) - you deserved it (2877)

On 02/03/2012 at 8:17pm - intimacy - by B (man) - United States

Today, I found out my mom is getting rid of cable TV. My dad and I bought her a 700 dollar plasma screen TV for Christmas. FML

#6922961
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23307) - you deserved it (2876)

On 12/24/2009 at 2:45pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML

#13071256
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28802) - you deserved it (2876)

On 09/16/2010 at 5:04am - misc - by itchybollos - Australia

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

#20503655
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27194) - you deserved it (2876)

On 02/12/2013 at 1:43pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while scrubbing my car with the foam brush at a car wash, the hose for the brush came whipping around and smacked me hard in the side of the head, knocking off my glasses. I got disoriented from the blow and stepped on my glasses, completely smashing them. FML

#13041055
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22311) - you deserved it (2875)

On 09/13/2010 at 10:00pm - misc - by IHateMyJob - United States

Today, as I was sitting in my car in a mall parking lot an old couple got into their new van and backed right into me. The man got out and in broken english decided it was no big deal. He turned to leave and tried to pat my back, but smacked my ass instead. I was hit by a car, and spanked for it. FML

#1274514
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44722) - you deserved it (2874)

On 04/23/2009 at 10:12pm - misc - by pleasebackintomycaragain (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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