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Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML

#16103696
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32560) - you deserved it (2970)

On 05/09/2011 at 11:02am - misc - by scarlet (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I asked a good friend what she thought would make me more attractive to women. Her advice was, "Don't be yourself." FML

#19073869
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19441) - you deserved it (2970)

On 02/14/2012 at 1:05pm - misc - by random - United States

Today, during my family's traditional 4th of July weekend celebration, my water broke. I kept trying to tell them and asked them to take me to the hospital, but they couldn't hear me over the fireworks. They all just kept smiling and nodding. FML

#20767424
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49075) - you deserved it (2970)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I visited my 78 year old grandmother. She thanked me for visiting and gave me a magazine before I left telling me I might find something I like in there. When I got home I looked at the magazine only to realize it's full of dildos and sextoys. FML

#16862
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37573) - you deserved it (2969)

On 02/09/2009 at 2:51am - intimacy - by V (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while shopping with my mother, she handed me a frozen turkey to put in the cart, but ended up swinging it into my nuts instead. I feel like a giant battered eggplant, and I think I'm now impotent. FML

#8774277
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19746) - you deserved it (2969)

On 03/02/2010 at 2:57pm - health - by beateneggs - United States (Connecticut)

Today, at work, I was supposed to have an easy two-hour shift, after which I was planning on attending a party that had been arranged to celebrate my graduation. Nearly six hours later, I am just getting home after being super busy and shorthanded at work for hours. I missed my own party. FML

#16052456
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28810) - you deserved it (2970)

On 05/05/2011 at 12:44am - work - by cstokes (woman) - United States

Today, my neighbor knocked on my door to borrow my laundry room key. He was bare-ass naked. When I refused to open the door, he tried to break it down. I had to call the police before he would leave. FML

Today, I won a goldfish at the amusement park. My little brother took him out of the bowl because he thought he was drowning. FML

#21246787
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37035) - you deserved it (2969)

On 08/27/2014 at 10:33pm - kids - by That idiot - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was elected to learn how to clean the birthing tub at the hospital I work at. Today, I also discovered that while blood doesn't bother me, floating chunks of afterbirth and god knows what else, will cause me to projectile vomit into said tub. Which I still had to clean afterwards. FML

#21304749
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30945) - you deserved it (2969)

On 11/23/2014 at 8:59pm - work - by StomachofTinfoil (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I woke up feeling extremely nauseous. When I started to feel better, I felt like I needed to spit. I went into the bathroom and opened the toilet to see someone had taken a giant crap the night before and forgotten to flush. The smell made me vomit all over my feet. FML

#7234315
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25579) - you deserved it (2968)

On 01/09/2010 at 11:11am - health - by Michelle (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realised that what I had thought was my dad's default state for the past 17 years is actually his drunken state. FML

#15844310
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27023) - you deserved it (2968)

On 04/19/2011 at 5:50am - misc - by Violet (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my four roommates and I contracted lice. While all our heads were slathered in mayonnaise and saran wrap, our building's fire alarm went off. FML

#20103879
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21191) - you deserved it (2968)

On 10/06/2012 at 3:28am - health - by EastOneTen - United States

Today, due to a flat tire, I only had 20 minutes to complete a 35 minute walk to catch my train. I ended up sprinting up the snow-covered frozen hill in heels, luggage in hand, only to arrive 1 minute in time, and to find out that the train had been cancelled. Next train in 1 hour. FML



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