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Today, I had to fall asleep to my next-door neighbors having sex because our walls are paper thin. What bothered me the most wasn't listening to them doing it, but knowing that she was faking it. FML

#21354562
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36364) - you deserved it (3534)

On 02/12/2015 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Mkimmi (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally felt ready to lose my virginity with my boyfriend. Unfortunately he was too embarrassed to go and buy some condoms, and suggested in all seriousness that we use a sandwich bag instead. FML

#21495119
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27533) - you deserved it (3534)

On 11/21/2015 at 9:54am - intimacy - by angelisa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend's dad offered me $100 to break up with his daughter. I eagerly replied "no", but my girlfriend grabbed the money and said, "deal." FML

#13079046
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38211) - you deserved it (3533)

On 09/16/2010 at 9:30pm - love - by ccblock (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend told me she is only going out with me because I look like the person she really wants to go out with. FML

#15881696
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40317) - you deserved it (3533)

On 04/22/2011 at 1:53am - love - by AngryBirdman -

Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML

#19355965
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22178) - you deserved it (3533)

On 03/27/2012 at 3:40am - misc - by blueglover - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML

#20137933
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29170) - you deserved it (3533)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by becca (woman) - United States

Today, an old man approached me at work. I smiled and asked, "Hi, can I help you"? He looked at me for a few seconds before replying, "Fuck me, you need to lose some weight!" and then wandering off. FML

#21379495
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28988) - you deserved it (3533)

On 03/22/2015 at 1:41pm - work - by { o } (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told to my girlfriend of 5 years that I'm depressed about having no friends, no job and a difficult family life. I told her that she's the one constant that keeps me going. She decided this was a good time to break up with me to "find" herself, since I was being so mopey. FML

#21467309
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24518) - you deserved it (3533)

On 09/11/2015 at 2:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while lying in bed cuddling with my cat after getting stood up, I found out that even 80-year-old Charles Manson is engaged to be married. FML

#21301256
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32962) - you deserved it (3532)

On 11/18/2014 at 5:41am - love - by jessiejaybee (woman) - United States

Today, my boy friend said "you know who you remind me of? Sarah Palin." And then for the next 15 minutes continued to discuss how ugly she is. FML

#2401768
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50535) - you deserved it (3531)

On 05/29/2009 at 1:51pm - misc - by Jazzyfayyye (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went for a job interview on my birthday. I had on a shirt and a tie on and I had my Blackberry in my pocket. I was running a little late, so I dashed outside. When I came out of the door, a bunch of my buddies screamed HAPPY BIRTHDAY! and poured Gatorade all over me. FML

#227236
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56564) - you deserved it (3531)

On 03/06/2009 at 4:24pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend was really depressed. I listed the top 50 reasons why I love her. Her response was "thanks for that but seriously, this video on youtube is hilarious." I couldn't cheer her up but apparently a 10 second video of a dog running in circles can. FML

#8238401
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30172) - you deserved it (3531)

On 02/14/2010 at 3:48am - love - by Samson (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I made a phone call in my office to my doctor. He wanted to call a prescription to my pharmacy, but wanted to know by what method I would prefer my medication. During our conversation, a group of potential clients walked in just as I exclaimed "I definitely prefer oral." FML

#19827814
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26469) - you deserved it (3531)

On 06/22/2012 at 3:28am - work - by me - United States (Indiana)



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