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Today, I found out that my employers hired me under the assumption that I was gay. Apparently, they are attempting to be perceived as more open-minded. I'm not gay, but I'm afraid being straight could cost me my job. FML

#12872316
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32805) - you deserved it (3096)

On 09/02/2010 at 5:09pm - work - by confused (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband and I bought a new swing for our front porch. We put it together and sat down to enjoy our accomplishment. 5 minutes into our swing I threw up several times. I have really bad motion sickness, and apparently a swing is no exception. FML

#20074281
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17988) - you deserved it (3096)

On 09/16/2012 at 8:36am - misc - by kacie smith - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was speeding home, bursting to take a crap. I pulled into my driveway and made it inside, before my wife told me the plumber was still working on our pipes. I ended up having to take a crap in my own backyard, behind a tree. FML

#21298320
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32687) - you deserved it (3096)

On 11/13/2014 at 1:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was picking up my 10 year old step-son from the airport. He began screaming and crying saying that I wasn't his father. I ended up sitting in a holding room because the security guards thought I was kidnapping him. My wife thought it was hilarious. FML

#5525269
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44721) - you deserved it (3095)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:13am - kids - by justgreat (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, the little boy I nanny for finally stood up and went 'pee-pee on the potty'. I started cheering and clapping, making a big deal out of it. I flushed while he smiled proudly and pooped on the floor. FML

#7278236
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25685) - you deserved it (3095)

On 01/11/2010 at 1:08pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out I'm being sued by the man whose life I practically saved a month ago. He says the way I pulled him out of the car he was trapped in has left him with permanent back problems. FML

Today, I went bowling with my parents. This cute guy works there and he always flirts with me. My mom just so happened to see it today. As we left, she says to him "You know she's 13, right?" I'm 17. FML

#17351481
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40914) - you deserved it (3094)

On 08/03/2011 at 2:01am - love - by Michelle - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was supposed to get married but we had to postpone as the best man fled the country. With the marriage certificate and vendor money. Not to mention the rings. FML

#17909341
133 comments

Today, a neighbor came by while I was cooking. She asked for some of my cheese, so I gave her a big slice and told her I only had cheddar. She angrily refused to accept the slice, and made her way to my fridge. She then yelled at me for not having an assortment of cheeses. FML

#18253335
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33516) - you deserved it (3094)

On 11/15/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by SetoAyumi - United States (California)

Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML

#20109154
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26649) - you deserved it (3094)

On 10/09/2012 at 2:43pm - love - by FarmerGirl - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boss called me over to his office; he wanted me to fire four hardworking employees. One of them was the girl I was going to ask out. FML

#20447887
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38799) - you deserved it (3094)

On 01/08/2013 at 11:40am - work - by AnonUser464 (man) - United States

Today, my husband managed to set fire to half of our garden setting up mosquito repellents. FML

#20802186
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37838) - you deserved it (3094)

On 07/25/2013 at 12:10am - misc - by how (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went with my girlfriend to her parents' house. They told me I smelled of cheap vodka. When I told them I worked in a bio lab and used ethanol a lot, they said I was too stupid to do anything like that. My girlfriend broke up with me because her parents think I'm a drunk. FML

#4479707
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60742) - you deserved it (3093)

On 08/12/2009 at 5:01pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (Montana)



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