Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my seemingly normal girlfriend decided to erase every girl's name out of my phone. Family and all. FML

#20101015
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22761) - you deserved it (2757)

On 10/04/2012 at 3:13am - love - by DCarreon (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me for months. It all started while I was in the hospital, he says, because we were supposed to go out that day, but then I "had to go and get sick". He blames my emergency surgery for his infidelity. FML

#20547926
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37069) - you deserved it (2757)

On 03/17/2013 at 4:12pm - love - by need an appendickectomy (woman) - Finland

Today, I met up with my estranged father for the first time in almost 15 years. I saw him again later, while he was robbing my house. FML

Today, my neighbor scolded me for "allowing" her son to be bitten by one of my dogs. This would be reasonable, except for the fact that her kid had jumped my fence and tried to steal a rattle out of my daughter's hands. FML

#21133303
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42309) - you deserved it (2757)

On 05/07/2014 at 3:16pm - kids - by Arthur - United States

Today, I was offered a job. It only took me a year and 17 interviews to get an offer, and I have a PhD. FML

#3922
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26189) - you deserved it (2756)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:37am - work - by RogerReady - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my mother came up to me a swim meet and shouted to me in the bleachers "If you have to go potty, go now because there is a long line!". I'm seventeen. FML

#2262925
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46941) - you deserved it (2756)

On 05/25/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by embarassed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend called me and told me to come to her college, so I did. I was greeted by the campus police who told me to stop harassing her because she no longer wants to be with me. Then they told me I was no longer welcome on campus and hereby banned. She used campus police to dump me. FML

#5029285
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47181) - you deserved it (2756)

On 09/03/2009 at 9:45pm - love - by Wow (man) - United States

Today, it is my birthday. So far I have received: the news that my parents are divorcing, a dead bird and a pile of shit left on my bed (courtesy of the cat), a rash all over my face, and some slippers from my boyfriend. FML

#13589791
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31927) - you deserved it (2756)

On 10/25/2010 at 1:08pm - animals - by sambo99 - United Kingdom (Herefordshire)

Today, my sister attacked me and stuffed a Tic Tac up my nose. I'm currently in the hospital waiting to have it removed. FML

#18738638
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29019) - you deserved it (2756)

On 01/07/2012 at 7:33pm - health - by tictacnose - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my wedding. Everyone showed up, except my fiancé. FML

#19575941
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43746) - you deserved it (2756)

On 05/05/2012 at 3:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a party. He got drunk and started talking about how his hot blonde girlfriend gives him great blowjobs. I'm a brunette. FML

#20004612
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33420) - you deserved it (2756)

On 08/05/2012 at 9:15pm - intimacy - by kklaucen14 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while using a restroom in Walmart, an old lady with a cane hobbled in screaming, "I smell someone making sin!" She would not stop tapping on the door with her cane till I came out. FML

#20808725
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41432) - you deserved it (2756)

On 07/28/2013 at 10:16pm - health - by DreamStatic - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized how bad my insomnia had got when I tried answering my water bottle when my alarm went off. FML

#20901491
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34454) - you deserved it (2756)

On 09/30/2013 at 1:01am - health - by Overworked - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: