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Today, I got a call at 4 in the morning from the security company, saying someone had broken into my workplace. I drove an hour out there, only to find out it was a rat that had set off the alarm. FML

#21000984
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39609) - you deserved it (3065)

On 12/22/2013 at 1:56am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I heard my mother say, "I feel bad for any girl that marries him because he's, what's the word? Metrosexual!" To my girlfriend. About me. FML

#21300656
68 comments

Today, someone in class was making a point about premarital intercourse - "90% of teen virgins aren't saving it for marriage, they just can't get any." Another classmate pointed me out specifically. FML

#21964
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37404) - you deserved it (3064)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:41pm - misc - by herpderp (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it's my birthday. At my workplace, we always get a cake for whoever's birthday it is. They somehow forgot about me. I've been working there for a year, and my grandparents and my dad own the restaurant I work at. FML

#16324475
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37638) - you deserved it (3064)

On 05/24/2011 at 3:55am - work - by birthdayfail -

Today, I discovered the source of the vile stench in my room. My daughter had "saved" a bird from our cat and put it in a box under my bed, hoping to nurse it back to health. She forgot about it, leaving the corpse rotting in there for who knows how long. FML

#20737123
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45614) - you deserved it (3064)

On 06/20/2013 at 12:54pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Pakistan (Punjab)

Today, I found out that the friend I stayed up with for nights on end, talking out of depression and suicide, has 'politely' posted up on facebook that he secretly hates me. FML

#13508700
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27918) - you deserved it (3063)

On 10/19/2010 at 5:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my 70 year old grandma was yelling at me to take a pregnancy test, in the middle of Walmart. I'm 16, still a virgin and haven't had a boyfriend since I was 13. FML

#14693370
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32672) - you deserved it (3063)

On 01/24/2011 at 12:11am - intimacy - by andifalls -

Today, a man at the comic book store I work at asked me if Spider-Man is based on a real story, and verbally abused me when, thinking he was joking, I laughed. He wasn't. FML

#20887394
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34091) - you deserved it (3063)

On 09/19/2013 at 1:35am - work - by some people... - United States

Today, I finally found out who has been sending me hate letters, it's my husband's ex-wife. They've been divorced for 7 years. FML

#16778449
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30934) - you deserved it (3062)

On 06/21/2011 at 8:25am - love - by nasty_ex - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mom gave me the "birds and the bees" talk, while she was taking a dump. FML

#17172362
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32655) - you deserved it (3062)

On 07/19/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by KidCudi227 - United States (Arizona)

Today, at the yacht club I work at a girl ordered a Portabella wrap. She asked for no cheese or veggies, just the Portabellas. After she got the sandwich and ate half of it, she sent it back saying she didn't know it had mushrooms in it. FML

#20840141
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44856) - you deserved it (3062)

On 08/16/2013 at 10:05am - work - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of six years. She got mad at me, saying she is too young to get married and that I was trying to ruin her career. She is 32 and works part-time at a grocery store. FML

#21322620
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34931) - you deserved it (3062)

On 12/23/2014 at 10:24am - love - by got any coupons? - United States

Today, I was stripped of my starting position on my high school basketball team. The reason? I was three minutes late to practice. Why was I late? My coach called me five minutes before practice and made me get him a coffee or else he wouldn't start me. FML

#14430499
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36681) - you deserved it (3061)

On 01/01/2011 at 10:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

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