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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, the guy that I have been seeing for over a year left on a business trip. While straightening out his room as a favor, I noticed he took his condoms with him. FML

#8892224
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28788) - you deserved it (3242)

On 03/07/2010 at 12:41pm - love - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got my wisdom teeth taken out. The two male doctors told me they'd give me anesthesia, but when they did, I could still hear them. I heard them talking about my breasts and how flat they were for a 17 year old. FML

#12894056
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39979) - you deserved it (3242)

On 09/03/2010 at 11:43pm - misc - by mandy16 (woman) -

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

#16943359
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33634) - you deserved it (3242)

On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I have to take time off from work to take part in an intervention because my sister's obsession with the guy from Harry Potter has crossed over into illegality. FML

#21009908
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40631) - you deserved it (3242)

On 12/29/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by LeaveHimAlone (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my parents sat me down and told me that I'm adopted. I took it in stride, and reassured them that as far as I'm concerned, they're my true parents. That annoyed them. Apparently the whole thing was a prank for a YouTube video, which I ruined by not crying or freaking out. FML

#21247893
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48430) - you deserved it (3242)

On 08/29/2014 at 2:09pm - kids - by hannahka (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML

#12109391
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35271) - you deserved it (3241)

On 07/25/2010 at 8:07pm - work - by anon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

#14330238
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30338) - you deserved it (3241)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was told that I may die by the time I'm 30, and that I should Google the disorder because he doesn't know what it is for sure. FML

#16909207
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41207) - you deserved it (3241)

On 06/29/2011 at 12:44pm - health - by Googleit - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a family counseling session because my parents are getting a divorce. I told the counselor that I feel guilty because I feel like I caused it. She says that there is no way I could have caused it, that it's my parents' problem when my mom interrupts her to say "Yes she did." FML

#6120985
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40680) - you deserved it (3240)

On 11/02/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by problemchild (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML

#5876001
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20126) - you deserved it (3240)

On 10/18/2009 at 7:29am - intimacy - by Ignitingmylightsaber (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went on a drive with my girlfriend when we went past a 'Dead End' sign. She pointed to it and said it was "Foreshadowing our relationship". FML

#13754319
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31520) - you deserved it (3240)

On 11/07/2010 at 4:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sprained my ankle while playing soccer. I still have to walk home. In the rain. FML

#7742819
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24953) - you deserved it (3240)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm - health - by snidpea - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother-in-law visited the house while my husband and I were at work. When we returned, we discovered she'd shredded and thrown away all the scribbled on papers sprawled on our messy desks. We're graphics designers. Those were rough sketches for about 14 different clients. FML

#16605766
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42565) - you deserved it (3240)

On 06/11/2011 at 2:09am - misc - by Mirorbo (woman) - United States (California)



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