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Today, my entire family of five is sharing one roll of toilet paper. My parents refuse to buy any, because my father can get it free from his work. He's forgotten to bring any home every day without fail for the past seven days. FML

#14544910
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24144) - you deserved it (3032)

On 01/11/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I started lessons on snowboarding. As soon as I got to the top of the hill, my instructor pushed me saying, "Just believe, it'll come to you!" He said this just before I hit a tree, breaking my nose. FML

#15133250
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29038) - you deserved it (3032)

On 02/27/2011 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while jogging, a guy tackled me and got my iPhone. Being a good runner, I caught up with him and grabbed him. Next thing I knew, I was on the ground with a policeman yelling in my ear. The guy got away. FML

#20764590
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52099) - you deserved it (3032)

On 07/05/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was making a snowman with my little cousin. I was collecting snow just outside the house, when out of nowhere a snowball struck me in the back of the head and caused me to headbutt the wall. I woke up a short while later to a medic telling me I had a nasty concussion. Thanks, cousin. FML

#14410593
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22479) - you deserved it (3031)

On 12/31/2010 at 3:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend is moving out to California to be with a girl he met while on Chatroulette. We broke up because he thought we were moving too fast. FML

#10779310
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30401) - you deserved it (3031)

On 05/26/2010 at 4:13pm - love - by Sarahfizzeller - United States (Ohio)

Today, it's my two year anniversary with my wife. She's celebrating the day with her new boyfriend. FML

#13498191
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35710) - you deserved it (3031)

On 10/18/2010 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML

#15149295
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35775) - you deserved it (3031)

On 02/28/2011 at 6:21am - love - by misswhiskers (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to console my drunk dad over his girlfriend breaking up with him. When he said, "You know why we broke up don't you?" I replied, "Yeah, you were fighting a lot, right?" Wrong. I then had to explain to him that his erectile dysfunction wasn't something to be embarrassed about. FML

#15879930
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32245) - you deserved it (3031)

On 04/21/2011 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I discovered that every morning at around 3:00 my dad takes a monumental dump in my bathroom. When I confronted him about it he denied it. He still does it. FML

#17394745
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21816) - you deserved it (3031)

On 08/07/2011 at 4:08am - misc - by fugachumi - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML

#20167650
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21703) - you deserved it (3031)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:45am - love - by jasmith - United States (Texas)

Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML

#21281374
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32200) - you deserved it (3031)

On 10/19/2014 at 10:20pm - kids - by team hit bella with a car (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of living together. She told me that she met someone else and wanted to move out. She moved out... but moved her things into my roommate's bedroom. FML

#79769
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58071) - you deserved it (3030)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:52pm - love - by killmenow (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

#5724132
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42067) - you deserved it (3031)

On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom



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