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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my dad told me someday I'll find a man who wants a nice lumberjack for a wife. FML

#21279635
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34565) - you deserved it (3552)

On 10/17/2014 at 4:14am - love - by axewoman -

Today, I came home from a week-long vacation, only to find my mother-in-law didn't just dog-sit while I was gone; she moved in, along with all her possessions, and seems to think it's a permanent deal. FML

#15562306
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38407) - you deserved it (3551)

On 03/30/2011 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anon_a_mouse (man) - Reserved

Today, I got suspended for bringing a "hazardous weapon" to school. They were earrings. FML

#17584476
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33973) - you deserved it (3551)

On 08/26/2011 at 8:03am - misc - by christine brown - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, the boys who sit at my math table decided it would be funny to throw broken pencils at my boobs to see if they were real. They did this the entire class period. I have to work with this group for the rest of the school year. FML

#17867072
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28949) - you deserved it (3551)

On 09/29/2011 at 9:56pm - misc - by hellokitty133 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I took my driving test. I was really nervous, but I thought I did pretty well in the end. That is until I parked the car and looked to the examiner. He was visibly shaken. He said I'd passed, quickly filled in the paperwork and left. On the downside, my car still smells of his shart. FML

#21339037
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32891) - you deserved it (3551)

On 01/17/2015 at 5:24pm - misc - by for shite's sake (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, while getting ready to welcome my first child into the world, my father in law decided to "help out" and threw out a bunch of papers I needed. Like my child's application for a health card, social insurance number, and my birth plan, as well as instructions from my doctor. FML

#20840198
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49056) - you deserved it (3550)

On 08/16/2013 at 11:21am - misc - by momma - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, claiming moving in was a bad idea and he is the type who needs his privacy. It was his idea to move in, he had to convince me. Now we are stuck, under lease together for the next 6 months. FML

#7874212
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28163) - you deserved it (3549)

On 02/04/2010 at 11:03am - love - by Awkward - Sent from mobile version

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML

#16494046
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48006) - you deserved it (3549)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:15am - work - by zain - United States (Texas)

Today, this girl who has been stalking me for almost 7 months sent me a 12 page text comparing her love for me with her passion for cheese. FML

#17547922
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37601) - you deserved it (3549)

On 08/22/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by Say Cheese - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend admitted that the only reason he remembers my eye color is because it's the same shade of his shit after he's had a salad. FML

#18121591
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36453) - you deserved it (3549)

On 10/31/2011 at 4:06pm - love - by poopcoloredeyes (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learned that when you take off your sweatshirt, it can get stuck in your braces. I was in public. FML

#19426271
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23377) - you deserved it (3549)

On 04/07/2012 at 10:10pm - misc - by Millian2 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML

#20114701
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37685) - you deserved it (3549)

On 10/13/2012 at 8:04am - intimacy - by notthebesttime -

Today, my date made me pay him for picking me up, and taking me back home. FML

#19779965
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28667) - you deserved it (3549)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:42am - money - by bad date - United States (Nebraska)



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