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Today, I live with my mother and realized she goes out with her friends and dates more times a week than I do in a single month. FML

#4267
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19897) - you deserved it (3323)

On 01/31/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by lousy - United States (Alabama)

Today, my dog managed to get into our cabinet and eat an entire bag of hershey kisses. Now she is puking all over the house and outside too. When I called the vet to tell her about it, she said that it was normal, and to call her back when it was "coming out the other end." FML

#9018544
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18429) - you deserved it (3323)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:01am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me because he wanted some independence. He moved back into his parents house. FML

#17008164
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33086) - you deserved it (3323)

On 07/07/2011 at 12:04am - love - by independence (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw a facebook status that said, 'Wedding today. Ugly people belong together.' I'm getting married today. FML

#17246888
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36128) - you deserved it (3323)

On 07/24/2011 at 10:53pm - love - by ugly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally got a phone call from a publisher saying they would publish the book I'd written. I'd gotten loads of rejection letters, so I was so excited. Until I realized it was my dad, feeling sorry for me. FML

#20646182
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42887) - you deserved it (3323)

On 05/06/2013 at 7:43pm - work - by sobasics - United States

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

#20836671
113 comments

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me over some rumors he heard about me. These rumors are from high-school, seven years ago. FML

#21297338
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36383) - you deserved it (3323)

On 11/11/2014 at 10:31pm - love - by ugh - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty side-effect. It appears that it can cause a massive rock-hard piece of dung the size of a bus to form in your intestines. I went to the doctor, he handed me a glove and some laxatives and said "Have fun!" FML

#5846674
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29808) - you deserved it (3322)

On 10/15/2009 at 9:59pm - health - by Rob - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was waiting to take a dump in a gas station restroom. A 300 pound man walked out, shook his head, and said "I'm sorry" to me. FML

#13675906
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34552) - you deserved it (3322)

On 11/01/2010 at 3:39pm - misc - by mr_p - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was accused of masturbating during work. I was actually just getting something out of my pocket. FML

#17962463
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31594) - you deserved it (3322)

On 10/11/2011 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by dinosaucer - United States (Delaware)

Today, my dog threw up on my bed while I was sleeping. I lost an hour of the day washing the vomit out with a rag, and my garbage disposal jammed on whatever otherworldly things my dog ate the day before. I had to dig it out by hand. FML

#19123444
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21707) - you deserved it (3322)

On 02/20/2012 at 2:39pm - animals - by good_gravy (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, since I hadn't eaten and was about to have a three hour class, I bought Panda Express. I sat opposite my classroom to eat. Soon after I started eating, a wad of saliva dropped into my bowl, and I heard someone yell "BONUS POINTS!" from the second floor. FML

Today, I spoke to my dad for the first time in over a year. I've been volunteering in Mongolia, I have no running water, freeze my ass off everyday and communication with anyone who speaks English is scarce. One of the first things my father said to me was, "out of sight, out of mind." FML

#5183635
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32273) - you deserved it (3321)

On 09/11/2009 at 5:01am - misc - by Anonymous - Mongolia (Ulaanbaatar)



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