Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML

#12524990
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33165) - you deserved it (2314)

On 08/14/2010 at 7:23pm - love - by incestastic - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML

#13841741
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49023) - you deserved it (2314)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I had been hiding the ring in the sock drawer. When I went to retrieve it, the ring was gone and in its place was a sticky note that said "NO." FML

#18508427
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45875) - you deserved it (2314)

On 12/14/2011 at 12:15am - love - by newlysingle (man) - United States

Today, my pregnant girlfriend gave me back the ring I'd used to propose with a week ago. Her reason? She only said yes because she was worried the real father of the baby wasn't going to stick around. FML

#20192033
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36282) - you deserved it (2314)

On 12/05/2012 at 5:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "our priorities aren't the same." Her priorities turned out to be getting into my coworker's pants. FML

#20969114
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37848) - you deserved it (2314)

On 11/24/2013 at 2:59pm - love - by bsulyingb (man) - United States

Today, I was walking out of class when I saw a girl enthusiastically run to her boyfriend, jump on him, and smother him with kisses. I thought to myself "I wish my girlfriend did that." When the girl jumped off and turned around I realized she did, just not to me. FML

#5689238
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49835) - you deserved it (2313)

On 10/06/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by zitroskies (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a movie and a dinner with a girl. During dinner, she excused herself to go to the bathroom, so I checked my social media feeds while waiting for her to return. She'd posted on her twitter "Worst. Ever." I thought it was going well. FML

#17622359
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24370) - you deserved it (2313)

On 08/30/2011 at 4:56pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my ballet teacher decided to tell us, in detail, about the nasty staph infection she has on her boob. The whole time, she was scratching it. FML

#13895610
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25302) - you deserved it (2312)

On 11/19/2010 at 1:07am - health - by fightingkittens (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my bag, including phone, money, keys and cards, was stolen. In a church. During my wedding. FML

#13103796
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36878) - you deserved it (2312)

On 09/18/2010 at 8:36pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria (Tirol)

Today, in the middle of sex my boyfriend asked if he could use the bathroom. It would've been fine, if he didn't fall asleep on the toilet. FML

#19216663
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19341) - you deserved it (2312)

On 03/04/2012 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by Karen (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I saw an old man struggling with three bags, so I offered to carry them for him. He must not have heard me because when I bent down to take the bags, he thought I was stealing them and punched me in the face. FML

#19820336
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15494) - you deserved it (2312)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:27pm - misc - by punchedhelper (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML

#20161591
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22863) - you deserved it (2312)

On 11/13/2012 at 7:02am - love - by Med (man) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, my car got a wheel lock because I had 5 tickets. Three of those tickets dated back to 2006. I got my car and license in 2008. FML

#7835541
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22926) - you deserved it (2311)

On 02/03/2010 at 12:11am - money - by olyswimmer (man) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: