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Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

#17502057
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38238) - you deserved it (2796)

On 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by candymansvan17 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

#17714662
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35056) - you deserved it (2796)

On 09/10/2011 at 9:54pm - health - by sadddddd (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML

#18444351
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33141) - you deserved it (2796)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by Rash (woman) - United States (New York)

Today I had to listen to my father lecture me on all the potential dangers of Halloween. He has a speech for every holiday, every year. I'm 28 years old. FML

#18062518
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25761) - you deserved it (2796)

On 10/24/2011 at 10:54am - misc - by StromyG2 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband told me that occasionally I pick my nose while I sleep. I didn't believe him so he showed me the video he took of it. He wants to post it on Facebook. FML

#19995801
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20769) - you deserved it (2796)

On 08/01/2012 at 1:44am - misc - by Emily (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got shut in the walk-in freezer at work. I started banging on the door. My boss wouldn't come and open it because she didn't "play games". She thought I was kidding. FML

#20760145
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40363) - you deserved it (2796)

On 07/02/2013 at 5:08pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I finally realized that the only time my mother talks to me is when she needs money. FML

#9177889
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27865) - you deserved it (2795)

On 03/18/2010 at 1:18am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got threatened with a gun through the drive thru speaker because I didn't offer some guy any pies to go with his meal. FML

#19291503
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23686) - you deserved it (2795)

On 03/17/2012 at 12:37am - work - by CDeVeney92 - United States (Texas)

Today, my OCD manager sprayed my hands with chemicals because I touched the bin while throwing away a piece of paper. My hands are now covered in itchy, unattractive rashes. FML

#20833453
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38311) - you deserved it (2795)

On 08/12/2013 at 7:19am - work - by nearly a crazy lady - United Kingdom

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

#7212033
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32969) - you deserved it (2794)

On 01/08/2010 at 2:23am - kids - by PeanutlyDisabled - France

Today, after having watched a scare story on the news about heart disease, my mom is now insisting that we have daily, hour-long, family yoga sessions together. I have a job, and barely have enough time to do my homework as it is. I'm going to be grounded if I don't take part. FML

#18749747
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25089) - you deserved it (2794)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:59pm - health - by marie519 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my girlfriend tried to convince me that she never takes dumps. I told her that as long as she eats, it's a biological impossibility, but she seems to have genuinely deluded herself into thinking it's true, purely because she is a girl. FML

#19997167
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20717) - you deserved it (2794)

On 08/01/2012 at 8:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I waited over 30 minutes in freezing cold weather for my bus. When it finally arrived, I went to get on board, but slipped and fell on the icy ground. The driver waited a whole 2 seconds before snorting, "Ain't nobody got time for this shit", closing the doors, and driving off. FML

#20476700
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38741) - you deserved it (2794)

On 01/24/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by frozensolid (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)



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