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Today, it's my birthday. The only "happy birthday"s I got were from my mom, her Facebook account, and the Facebook account she made for her cat. FML

#20991213
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40619) - you deserved it (2987)

On 12/13/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by carboncoach (man) - Egypt

Today, my wife received a $15,000 bonus from her work. I got a backpack from mine. FML

#21300231
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27928) - you deserved it (2987)

On 11/16/2014 at 6:25pm - misc - by INeedaNewJob (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out my grandpa died. As I rushed home crying to comfort my parents, I got pulled over for speeding. The officer told me to cut out the "fake" tears". When I told him my grandpa just died he tacked on another $100 for lying to an officer. Worst. Christmas. Ever. FML

#6926998
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43111) - you deserved it (2986)

On 12/24/2009 at 7:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML

#15149295
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35144) - you deserved it (2986)

On 02/28/2011 at 6:21am - love - by misswhiskers (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learned that chivalry truly is dead when a seemingly fit man pushed me into a door to get a seat on the train before me. My leg is in a cast. FML

#16101857
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34389) - you deserved it (2986)

On 05/09/2011 at 3:38am - misc - by Username -

Today, I let my little sister sleep in my room because she had a nightmare. She is currently snoring like an overweight 40 year old man with a cold. FML

#19105693
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21627) - you deserved it (2986)

On 02/18/2012 at 5:07am - misc - by sleepless - United States

Today, while I was waiting to pull out of a parking space, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to put the car into reverse instead of drive while I was waiting for traffic to clear. I don't think the people who own the car behind me were laughing. Nor is my now ex-boyfriend. FML

#19692417
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25462) - you deserved it (2986)

On 05/28/2012 at 5:38am - misc - by Broke (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was shouting out for help when a voice came screaming, "This is the fire department." I was relieved until he said, "Just kidding." FML

#20681121
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46066) - you deserved it (2986)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by Mylifesucks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father for permission to take his daughter's hand in marriage. He asked me "Which one?" I said "Uh, the one I'm dating... Lisa." He belched and said, "Yeah sure, throw 'er off a cliff for all I care. Piss off, boy." So much for chivalry. FML

#21308242
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33068) - you deserved it (2986)

On 11/29/2014 at 4:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I discovered that my fiancé had tried to fake his own death because he thought it would be easier than confessing to the affair he was having. FML

#2820060
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64946) - you deserved it (2985)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:41am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was in class just taking notes and minding my own business. The teacher has already called my parents twice complaining about me. As we are taking 3 pages of notes she grabs mine and rips them up, saying that she is sick and tired of me drawing. I was drawing the graphs on the board. FML

#5408383
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45514) - you deserved it (2985)

On 09/22/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by wait..what (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I lost my virginity to my long time boyfriend and found out I'm severely allergic to latex. I also found out that my family doctor had been transferred to the ER. He went to play golf with my dad later. FML

#7257583
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18547) - you deserved it (2985)

On 01/10/2010 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by Foxy (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out I'm being sued by the man whose life I practically saved a month ago. He says the way I pulled him out of the car he was trapped in has left him with permanent back problems. FML



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