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Today, I wound up cleaning vomit out of the window track of my car at midnight, in the nicest dress I own, after my husband got completely wasted at his office Christmas party. FML

#18474443
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22821) - you deserved it (2850)

On 12/10/2011 at 5:14am - misc - by dee - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was burgled while I was on the toilet. FML

#20402014
133 comments

Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and extolled the virtues of a "full blown sexual relationship with oneself", advising my teenage sister to "only include the men when they behave." FML

#20511803
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30031) - you deserved it (2850)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:24am - intimacy - by buxton1 - United States (California)

Today, after finding out that I would never be able to move my dominant arm again, I decided to talk to my best friend about it because it was getting to me. She responded with, "It really bugs me that you made this conversation all about you." FML

#20665722
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47057) - you deserved it (2850)

On 05/15/2013 at 7:43pm - health - by LordCrafte (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can and continuing to make our sandwiches. FML

#20863339
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36427) - you deserved it (2850)

On 09/01/2013 at 4:04pm - misc - by no no no no no no no no no no no fuck no (woman) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I didn't feel wanted. Then she talked about how her cat puked on the carpet. FML

#7578
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26621) - you deserved it (2849)

On 02/04/2009 at 9:18am - love - by constantine (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, it was my birthday. The only person that remembered was my creepy stalker. FML

#13906706
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28025) - you deserved it (2849)

On 11/20/2010 at 12:49am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I rode home alone on a train. I accidentally missed my stop, but wasn't worried about it. My mom did not share my optimism and actually called the train company, saying that I was "lost" and "special". They thought she meant I was retarded. They wouldn't believe me when I said I wasn't. FML

#14627865
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25910) - you deserved it (2849)

On 01/18/2011 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I spent an hour setting up a delicate display stand at work. Not five minutes later, a woman barged in with her little kid, who immediately went up to the display and tipped the whole thing over. When I called attention to the mother, she just scoffed, "Isn't this your job?" and left. FML

#16299041
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32973) - you deserved it (2849)

On 05/22/2011 at 3:50pm - work - by NoRespect (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I saw my boyfriend of a year kissing another girl. When I walked up to confront him about it, he tried to convince the other girl he didn't know who I was. FML

#17989698
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39526) - you deserved it (2849)

On 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss became obsessed with a movie about a pimp. He now refers to all my female coworkers as his "bitches" and refuses to treat us like human beings. Whenever we make a mistake, he rolls his eyes and laughs, "So typical of a prostie." FML

#19736092
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32058) - you deserved it (2849)

On 06/04/2012 at 11:47pm - work - by kufan1324 - United States

Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML

#20113997
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34778) - you deserved it (2849)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband quit his job as a university professor and picked up the graveyard shift at a rat farm so he could have more time during the day to play World of Warcraft. FML

#20182185
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30720) - you deserved it (2849)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

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