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Today, my older brother burst into my bedroom at 4 am to show me photos of sushi. FML

Today, we had movers come in to take all of our stuff as the final step to our move to the States. We have our flight scheduled for tomorrow evening. Thing is, they accidentally took my carry-on bag without my knowledge. In that carry-on there was a little something called a passport. FML

#20093240
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22441) - you deserved it (2773)

On 09/29/2012 at 3:39am - misc - by bluefrisky - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML

#20660591
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47993) - you deserved it (2772)

On 05/13/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Confused (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was introduced to my future stepmother, but it turns out that I already know her. Not only are we the same age and went to the same high school, when we were in the same math class together the teacher would often confuse our names because "we could pass as twins". FML

#4329050
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64839) - you deserved it (2771)

On 08/06/2009 at 4:45am - misc - by whatismydadthinking (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. FML

#6532401
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35332) - you deserved it (2771)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the alter while my husband said his vows. FML

#8658648
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53436) - you deserved it (2771)

On 02/26/2010 at 5:23am - love - by pain (woman) - Japan

Today, as I turned the shower on, I got covered in gravy. Turns out, my friends had unscrewed the shower head, filled it with gravy granules, then screwed it back on. FML

#19319473
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24622) - you deserved it (2771)

On 03/21/2012 at 7:46am - health - by J Rush - United Kingdom (Powys)

Today, I was standing in a long line at the Post Office when my 3 year old son starts rubbing up and down my leg. I asked him what he was doing and he said loudly. "I'm humping you like Simon humps me!" Everyone looks at me in shocked horror. Simon is our dog. FML

#6620817
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30171) - you deserved it (2770)

On 12/05/2009 at 7:04pm - animals - by Sissy (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I am lying next to my new husband. We went to Hawaii for our honeymoon and planned on spending the entire time in bed together. We succeeded in that goal, with both of us unable to leave each other's side for entire week. Sex? No. Food poisoning? Yes. FML

#6497491
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38068) - you deserved it (2770)

On 11/28/2009 at 5:03pm - health - by IndieRox (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house so that he could break up with me. I went out to my car to leave only to discover that all of the wheels had been stolen. Even the spare. I had to spend the rest of the day with my ex-boyfriend finding a way to get my car home. FML

#7174533
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24574) - you deserved it (2770)

On 01/06/2010 at 12:24am - love - by lug_nut (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out the reason I've been itchy for the last two weeks is because I'm now allergic to chlorine. I'm also a swimming instructor. FML

#10507279
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30405) - you deserved it (2770)

On 05/13/2010 at 1:51pm - work - by Dfacta (man) - United States (California)

Today, a drunk driver crashed in through my living room wall. Not only that, but he managed to completely miss the first two houses on the block, which should have been a barrier before mine. FML

#13130715
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26741) - you deserved it (2770)

On 09/20/2010 at 6:11pm - misc - by Uriyahu (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my parents got a call from my English teacher. She told them that I have 14 days of detention because I've been cutting class. I've been there every day, but apparently she never noticed me. FML

#18048344
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34533) - you deserved it (2770)

On 10/22/2011 at 7:16pm - misc - by Bree - United States (Massachusetts)



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