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Today, it was my birthday. I only got one message, from my dad, which was a sexual image meant for my mother. FML

#21110643
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43554) - you deserved it (3103)

On 04/11/2014 at 9:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my fiancé of two years told me he was bored of me and he'd just prolonged the engagement to see if anyone more interesting would come along in the mean time. He was upset because no one did. FML

#2595343
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55306) - you deserved it (3102)

On 06/04/2009 at 10:46am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML

#6098895
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34902) - you deserved it (3102)

On 11/01/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by WasteOfTime (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my little cousin is going to be staying at our house for a year or so, because of financial problems. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that every single night he creeps up on me while I'm sleeping, and shouts "GO F YOURSELF!" directly into my ear. Only another 11 months to go. FML

#13622060
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27340) - you deserved it (3102)

On 10/28/2010 at 12:44am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I applied for a dental insurance that claims "you cannot be denied". I was denied. FML

#16464062
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29617) - you deserved it (3102)

On 06/02/2011 at 3:26am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in my job as an assistant at a music venue, I had to get posters signed by that night's performer. When I walked into the dressing room, I was told, "unless you're sucking my cock then get the fuck out of here" and had the posters slapped out of my hands. It's my job to deal with these pricks. FML

#20572312
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34748) - you deserved it (3102)

On 04/02/2013 at 9:26pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, another "gentleman" called and asked for my "services". This is happening a lot lately, because apparently I have the old number of a prostitute. I told him I'm not who he's looking for, to which he replied that I sound like a "sexy lady" and that he wanted to have some fun. FML

#20748362
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42972) - you deserved it (3102)

On 06/26/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, we got a new employee at work. I said hi, and told her that if she needed help figuring out our computer system, then to give me a call. She promptly accused me of sexual harassment and filed a complaint against me. FML

Today, at work, I had to utter the phrase, "Sir, please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. FML

#20847854
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44114) - you deserved it (3102)

On 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm - work - by twatstick (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, a drunk man walked into my house at 2pm, screaming out, "Honey, I'm home!" He had the wrong house, but it looks like I've finally met my new neighbour. FML

#20895601
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36712) - you deserved it (3102)

On 09/25/2013 at 12:35pm - misc - by nicetomeetyou2 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I opened up to my parents about my depression. Their response was to have a very heated discussion about whose fault it was. FML

#20929825
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40349) - you deserved it (3102)

On 10/22/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, I asked out a girl that I've liked for a while. She thought I was joking and laughed, saying, "No. Have you met yourself?" FML

#21338134
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32880) - you deserved it (3102)

On 01/16/2015 at 7:49am - love - by SilverZephyr - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was excited to start my new job. It was only when I was leaving after a long 8 hour day did I realize all of the personal documents I had I brought in for paperwork had been stolen. I am now down a passport, social security card, and wallet. Great first day. FML

#9123169
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23440) - you deserved it (3101)

On 03/16/2010 at 1:19am - work - by evenpoorer (woman) - United States (Idaho)



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