Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was driving home from work with the window down. I felt what I thought was rain coming through the window, until I looked over and realized it was urine mist coming from the cattle truck next to me. FML

#18195085
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31007) - you deserved it (3034)

On 11/08/2011 at 6:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I lost my phone. On the bright side, someone found it. On the downside, they won't give it back. FML

#18105886
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27871) - you deserved it (3034)

On 10/29/2011 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I overcame my fear of swimming in lakes and went for a swim. I got bitten by an eel. FML

#18451014
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29322) - you deserved it (3034)

On 12/07/2011 at 5:28am - misc - by wayne - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my mom came back from a major surgery. She also had a yeast infection. I had to push the applicator in because she couldn't bend down. This cannot be unfelt. FML

#20641584
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49740) - you deserved it (3034)

On 05/04/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I used the restroom at a department store. While I was in my stall, I overheard a little girl say to her mother, "I see someone wearing pink!" I remembered that I was wearing pink just as she finished her thought, "And she's pooping." She was peeking at me through the stall. FML

#2674765
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48189) - you deserved it (3033)

On 06/06/2009 at 10:25pm - kids - by Shelly (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my dad threw up on my dress. My wedding dress. While he was walking me down the aisle. FML

#5431365
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60164) - you deserved it (3033)

On 09/23/2009 at 5:38pm - misc - by poorgirl (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friend got drunk. We tried to get him into a cab, he punched me in the face, three chavs then accosted me, accusing me of trying to mug him. I was then beaten up by said chavs and then the police charged me for being drunk and disorderly. FML

#5072563
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39725) - you deserved it (3033)

On 09/06/2009 at 12:03am - health - by DrunkenValor (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I was sleeping like a baby on our living room couch. My older brother and his friends lit my slippers on fire. While I was wearing them. They even took a video. FML

#17261377
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30741) - you deserved it (3033)

On 07/26/2011 at 12:03am - misc - by Ep1cF4ce - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML

#19391637
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39689) - you deserved it (3033)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by ohgod... - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I saw my 22-year-old boyfriend blow his nose into his hand, then wipe his snot on our couch. There was a box of tissues directly in front of him. FML

#19374256
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22478) - you deserved it (3033)

On 03/30/2012 at 1:37am - misc - by rozziepop - United States (California)

Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML

#20696326
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45927) - you deserved it (3033)

On 05/30/2013 at 10:35pm - work - by heyyoitsapotato - United States

Today, another "gentleman" called and asked for my "services". This is happening a lot lately, because apparently I have the old number of a prostitute. I told him I'm not who he's looking for, to which he replied that I sound like a "sexy lady" and that he wanted to have some fun. FML

#20748362
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42207) - you deserved it (3033)

On 06/26/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML

#21271220
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35632) - you deserved it (3033)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: