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Today, my mom had the option of choosing anywhere in the world where we could go on vacation. We live in the USA and she chose to fly to Texas, rent an RV, and drive to Florida. Anywhere in the world. FML

#20482339
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32213) - you deserved it (2848)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:48pm - misc - by j_Lauren (woman) - United States

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

#21095586
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37154) - you deserved it (2848)

On 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by Vampprobs - United States (Michigan)

Today, I offered to drive my girlfriend's grandpa to the doctor. I thus learned my girlfriend's grandfather has a colostomy bag when it burst all over the inside of my truck. FML

#16247260
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32166) - you deserved it (2847)

On 05/19/2011 at 12:27am - misc - by John -

Today, I finally found out where my great grandmother's antique handheld mirror disappeared to. According to the headmaster, my eleven year old son has been using it to look up his classmates' dresses at school. FML

#18095275
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24352) - you deserved it (2847)

On 10/28/2011 at 8:25am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

#17487267
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32978) - you deserved it (2847)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:22am - kids - by Gross... (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I applied for a job as a dishwasher. I was denied because I don't have enough experience. FML

#17903490
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28512) - you deserved it (2847)

On 10/04/2011 at 12:18pm - work - by SimpleSwimmer - United States (California)

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

#19820234
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21990) - you deserved it (2847)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was using a public restroom. As I lowered my pants, a man's head and arms popped out over the divider. He took a picture and immediately rushed out. FML

#20779019
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46326) - you deserved it (2847)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:40am - misc - by Anna - United States (New York)

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML

#20887758
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37642) - you deserved it (2847)

On 09/19/2013 at 1:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I visited my 78 year old grandmother. She thanked me for visiting and gave me a magazine before I left telling me I might find something I like in there. When I got home I looked at the magazine only to realize it's full of dildos and sextoys. FML

#16862
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36241) - you deserved it (2846)

On 02/09/2009 at 2:51am - intimacy - by V (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the 9th grade dean called me into his office to talk. He asked me if I was new because it seemed like I was having trouble making friends. I've been going to the same school, with the same people, since kindergarten. FML

#61583
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41070) - you deserved it (2846)

On 02/17/2009 at 4:53pm - misc - by lene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend called me to come over because we "needed to talk." Going down the stairs, I tripped and fell. I woke up from unconsciousness with a hurting leg and my boyfriend standing over me. Just as I was about to smile and ask for a kiss, he said, "Maybe we should take a break" and left. FML

#6435138
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28606) - you deserved it (2846)

On 11/24/2009 at 11:08am - love - by Yes (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend told me that she gave my number to a guy I've liked for a while. I asked why and she just said "He's just going to have to tell you himself." I got hopeful and really nervous. A few hours later he calls. Turns out, he's called to try and get a date with my gay friend. FML

#3491271
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34054) - you deserved it (2846)

On 07/04/2009 at 10:40pm - love - by Single4Life (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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