Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother asked me why her new airsoft gun wasn't working. I explained to her that it doesn't actually shoot air, it requires pellets too. She looked at me like I was too stupid to be her son. FML

#21078133
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37695) - you deserved it (2907)

On 03/04/2014 at 7:09pm - kids - by Drizztreri - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was getting on a bus, the driver shut the door on me while I was half way inside. Instead of apologizing to me, he criticized me for getting in the way. FML

#6049561
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27537) - you deserved it (2906)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by insignificant (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was doing homework in my room when my roommate started meowing all of a sudden. Not only was he meowing, he started to make loud cat noises that resembled a cat being run over by a car. He's gonna be my roommate for the rest of the year. FML

#6646444
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26935) - you deserved it (2906)

On 12/07/2009 at 3:54am - animals - by SeeMeInTheDark (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

#7564644
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28017) - you deserved it (2906)

On 01/25/2010 at 5:18am - kids - by shitface (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got hit in the face at a dodge-ball tournament. My entire mouth was bloody. The sad thing is, I wasn't even playing. FML

#18316587
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25985) - you deserved it (2907)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:53pm - health - by haileyjunkin -

Today, I had to tell my mom to stop sending pictures of Jesus to my boyfriend. FML

#19052034
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29824) - you deserved it (2906)

On 02/11/2012 at 10:01pm - love - by Anon - United States (Arizona)

Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML

#20731460
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47875) - you deserved it (2906)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spit directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated then shook its tail which splattered it into my face. FML

#6202329
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28914) - you deserved it (2905)

On 11/07/2009 at 9:13pm - misc - by shando - United States (Nevada)

Today, at school, everybody wanted to be my partner for a project. This surprised me because nobody ever wants to be with me. Turns out when I was absent, my teacher promised that whoever was my partner would get extra points on the project. FML

#12990617
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34186) - you deserved it (2905)

On 09/10/2010 at 2:09pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML

#17884262
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30081) - you deserved it (2905)

On 10/02/2011 at 2:36am - misc - by Emmy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after years of torment and relentless harassment, I finally built up the courage to stand up to a bully. I got a detention for swearing at him. FML

#18310525
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35007) - you deserved it (2905)

On 11/21/2011 at 7:35pm - misc - by damnedbydurberg (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while I was waiting to pull out of a parking space, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to put the car into reverse instead of drive while I was waiting for traffic to clear. I don't think the people who own the car behind me were laughing. Nor is my now ex-boyfriend. FML

#19692417
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24434) - you deserved it (2905)

On 05/28/2012 at 5:38am - misc - by Broke (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I accidentally bumped into another car on the road. The worst of the damage was a slight chip to the other driver's paint, but she played it up so much that she ended up being taken away in an ambulance. I'm now terrified that the crazy bitch is going to sue me. FML

#20158993
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25534) - you deserved it (2905)

On 11/11/2012 at 2:11pm - money - by youfuckingslut (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: