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Today, I took my girlfriend out to eat at a diner where my friend works. My friend was our waiter but too busy to talk much. He texted me after we'd left to tell me that my girlfriend had slipped him her number. FML

#20894038
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49089) - you deserved it (2990)

On 09/24/2013 at 3:15am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally told my father that I was picked on at college all this year over my hearing disability. When I told him one of the jokes they made about me, he burst out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. FML

#20999250
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39683) - you deserved it (2990)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML

#6098895
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33586) - you deserved it (2988)

On 11/01/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by WasteOfTime (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was on my way home on an airplane. The guy I had to sit next to was reading a book with naked girls in it. About 15 minutes into the flight, he had an erection and started to giggle. It was a 2 hour flight. FML

#13124550
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32553) - you deserved it (2988)

On 09/20/2010 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Thomas - United States (Oregon)

Today, and throughout the past week, my electricity, water, cable, and Internet were progressively shut off. Why? Because my deranged mother-in-law has been stealing the money orders I use to pay my bills out of my mailbox. She also stole the late notices because she didn't want me to be "mad". FML

#20678301
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46894) - you deserved it (2988)

On 05/21/2013 at 6:47pm - money - by LightsOut - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents used my going away party as a cover up for my sister's surprise party. I didn't know until they brought out the cake. FML

#21022962
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39371) - you deserved it (2988)

On 01/09/2014 at 9:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sri Lanka

Today, my visiting cousin was driving me to pick-up and pay for my wedding cake at the bakery. The cops pulled him over for speeding and as it turns out his license was expired. I ended up having to use my wedding cake money to bail him out of jail. FML

#3657185
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37410) - you deserved it (2987)

On 07/11/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by mellbelle32 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML

#7946481
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22607) - you deserved it (2987)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom (York)

Today, after getting my appendix taken out, we had to drive over five sets of railroad tracks. Then, my four year old brother decided to punch me in the stomach because, "I took away his mommy for two days." FML

#11459471
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42246) - you deserved it (2987)

On 06/25/2010 at 8:30pm - love - by cduttl1230 - United States (Idaho)

Today, someone came over and told my mother, "I'm your son's friend Morris, I need to get something out of his car", so she gave him the keys. I have no friend called Morris, and now I don't have a sound system either. FML

#17266001
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36826) - you deserved it (2987)

On 07/26/2011 at 9:35am - misc - by ceetee - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML

#17884262
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31002) - you deserved it (2987)

On 10/02/2011 at 2:36am - misc - by Emmy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband to let him know I was in the hospital. His response? "I'm at Taco Bell." FML

#18515573
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28392) - you deserved it (2987)

On 12/14/2011 at 10:34pm - misc - by Mariah Heimann - United States (Illinois)

Today, it's my birthday. The only "happy birthday"s I got were from my mom, her Facebook account, and the Facebook account she made for her cat. FML

#20991213
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40618) - you deserved it (2987)

On 12/13/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by carboncoach (man) - Egypt



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