Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was renovating the house, and my girlfriend asked, "Do you use electrical tape on electrical stuff?" Not knowing where she was going with this, I just gave her a puzzled look. She continued by saying, "Because it's not like people use duct tape on ducks." FML

#20158312
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20327) - you deserved it (2818)

On 11/11/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Danny - United States (Utah)

Today, as a science teacher, I did a science experiment in front of a class. One of my students asked me if it was "photoshopped." He was being serious. FML

#20930096
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42150) - you deserved it (2818)

On 10/22/2013 at 10:24am - kids - by jdawn99 - United States (Kansas)

Today, I had a date with a girl. After movies and dinner we came back to my place. I had to go to the washroom BADLY. I took a BIG #2 and when I went to flush the toilet to my horror it didn't flush. FML

#1663
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17702) - you deserved it (2817)

On 01/18/2009 at 8:01pm - misc - by frankie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my new anti-social cat started rubbing on my leg. I thought she must be warming up to me. Then, I looked at my leg and saw she smeared poo all over my work pants. FML

#9037311
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22612) - you deserved it (2817)

On 03/13/2010 at 12:18am - animals - by Brinty (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized that the only time I've ever been noticed by my classmates is when I brought cake for the potluck. FML

#14133320
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20410) - you deserved it (2817)

On 12/08/2010 at 4:55pm - misc - by Invisible - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met my new roommate. She severely struggled with pronouncing my name, and decided that to save time and the effort, she's just going to call me what she thinks my name sounds like: Lube. FML

#17379183
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22906) - you deserved it (2817)

On 08/05/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I wandered around my property with my children, trying to find our escaped house cat. While in the more wooded parts, we spotted her on the ground, being picked over by a coyote. FML

#18795812
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36074) - you deserved it (2817)

On 01/13/2012 at 1:57pm - animals - by Jeslyn03 - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I got an email saying the gift I'd ordered for my boyfriend of three years had been sent. I ordered it a couple of days ago because I thought he needed cheering up. I guess he found a better way of doing so himself; he broke up with me yesterday. FML

#20677289
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39549) - you deserved it (2817)

On 05/21/2013 at 6:24am - love - by moikristine - Norway (Akershus)

Today, a lady told me that I should sue whoever screwed up my "nose job" so badly. This is the nose I was born with. FML

#20983819
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39185) - you deserved it (2817)

On 12/07/2013 at 12:30pm - health - by :^( (woman) - Bahrain (Madinat)

Today, I checked my university financial account to discover I owed them over $1000. The reason? They had apparently given me too much money when I applied for a loan and now want it back. Oh, and I spent my loan money on books and a laptop for school. FML

#7604167
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23727) - you deserved it (2816)

On 01/27/2010 at 12:25am - money - by boned (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my roommate woke me up during afternoon nap to tell me that I need to move out. His reason: "Our political differences will likely escalate to violence." FML

#12842541
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23427) - you deserved it (2816)

On 08/31/2010 at 7:13pm - misc - by NowHomeless (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I overheard my dad telling his work buddy that he's disappointed in his kid. I assumed he meant my brother, for flunking out of school. He meant me, for quitting sports to focus on my studies. FML

#18137522
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31596) - you deserved it (2816)

On 11/02/2011 at 10:43am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was stabbed in the chest. Not with a knife though, the under-wire from my bra escaped and stabbed me in the boob. FML

#19321337
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22126) - you deserved it (2816)

On 03/21/2012 at 5:06pm - misc - by J.O.S (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: