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Today, I went to a Japanese restaurant, where the chefs cook the food right in front of you. Our chef tossed an egg in the air, but sadly didn't catch it. Don't worry though, my hair got it instead. FML

#17136219
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28964) - you deserved it (3113)

On 07/16/2011 at 1:24pm - misc - by KatrinaKitten - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my husband if he knew what day it was. His answer was, "garbage day?" It's our six-year anniversary. FML

#19987123
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22763) - you deserved it (3113)

On 07/27/2012 at 10:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at work, I had to utter the phrase, "Sir, please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. FML

#20847854
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44252) - you deserved it (3113)

On 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm - work - by twatstick (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, as I was walking home, a car drove through a puddle and splashed me like in a cheesy movie. As if that wasn't annoying enough, the driver had to pull over because she was laughing too hard. FML

#20907968
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44129) - you deserved it (3113)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by CelibateHero (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, wanting to change from the usual pizza/coca cola menu, I decide to cook. After spending 1h30 making a "beef chili with ancho, mole, and cumin" I sprinkle a bit of salt on top of it. The top came off the salt. I think it's back to pizzas for me. FML

#1229
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18919) - you deserved it (3112)

On 01/15/2009 at 11:00am - health - by j0j0 - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML

#14898622
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32855) - you deserved it (3112)

On 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my mom told me that she rather wait for the city bus all day, than allow me to give her a ride. FML

#20052248
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16016) - you deserved it (3112)

On 09/01/2012 at 9:58am - misc - by Chucho - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my whole family made an hour-long drive to a restaurant that's just a few minutes away from my place. I wasn't invited. FML

#20626789
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45498) - you deserved it (3112)

On 04/28/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by lonesome - Canada

Today, my neighbor knocked on my door to borrow my laundry room key. He was bare-ass naked. When I refused to open the door, he tried to break it down. I had to call the police before he would leave. FML

Today, I was finally given a parking spot at work. It turns out to be between an expensive sports car that never parks straight and a giant truck too big for its space. FML

#21215497
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42531) - you deserved it (3112)

On 07/20/2014 at 7:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I decided to tell my husband our marriage was over after I found out that he'd not only been stealing from me, but he'd also been downloading child porn. He then asked if we could break up but live in the same house so I could help pay his bills. FML

#7353297
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42177) - you deserved it (3111)

On 01/15/2010 at 2:51am - love - by cuppincake (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, seconds after my mom put my yorkie onto my bed, he threw up. His head was not fully over the bed itself, so the wet chunks fell straight into my backpack onto my new school books. FML

#12625429
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25175) - you deserved it (3111)

On 08/19/2010 at 1:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I contacted my biological father, after not speaking to him for some years, as we had a very strained relationship. I received an automated response. It's probably the best conversation we have ever had. FML

#16328382
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26614) - you deserved it (3111)

On 05/24/2011 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom



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