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Today, my little brother discovered that bears can be very territorial and will pee on things to keep others away. He took this new found information to heart and peed on various things in the house that he wanted for himself, including my laptop. FML

#14774020
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32630) - you deserved it (2961)

On 01/30/2011 at 12:21pm - kids - by Joey - United States (California)

Today, my mom, who is relatively new to Facebook, posted on her friend's wall, telling her about her recent diagnosis of vaginal thrush. She assumed that her wall post was private. Six of my friends liked the post. FML

#18417580
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33872) - you deserved it (2961)

On 12/03/2011 at 6:23am - intimacy - by djkimmaz - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my friend and I were discussing music bands, and I asked who her favorite Queen member is. She looked at me like I was from another world and said, "I don't have a favorite British queen. That's like, so weird." FML

#20002229
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21785) - you deserved it (2961)

On 08/04/2012 at 1:15pm - misc - by fuckingbeliebers (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML

#20450908
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35715) - you deserved it (2961)

On 01/09/2013 at 10:15pm - love - by wtf dad - United States (Missouri)

Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML

#21277056
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44578) - you deserved it (2961)

On 10/13/2014 at 5:33pm - health - by clumsylobster - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went on a date at a restaurant with a guy. When he promised I wouldn't have to pay the bill, I didn't think he meant we'd be dining and dashing. FML

#17888720
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25137) - you deserved it (2960)

On 10/02/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by scared (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to yet again explain to the guy I live with that just because you can't see dirt, it doesn't mean it's clean. And so letting his dog lick the plates is NOT the same thing as washing up. He won't listen to me, and he uses my plates. FML

#20507079
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28193) - you deserved it (2960)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:08pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

#20750993
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41073) - you deserved it (2960)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by keiran123 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my fiancé's best friend, who will be our best man at our wedding, decided to confess his feelings for me and tell me how he's always dreamed of us eloping together. The wedding is going to be awkward. FML

#20921675
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46318) - you deserved it (2960)

On 10/15/2013 at 4:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 5 year old daughter watched me getting dressed in the bathroom and asked "mum, when my boobs grow, will they droop like yours?". FML

#983
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25736) - you deserved it (2959)

On 01/12/2009 at 4:37am - kids - by Lax - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got back to my apartment from being away for the past week on Spring break. I found the locks on my apartment changed and all my things on the curb, many of them broken or stolen. I ran to the leasing office to see what had happened. Turns out it was an accounting error on their part. FML

#250263
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88250) - you deserved it (2959)

On 03/09/2009 at 8:12am - misc - by Homeless (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to Subway to grab some lunch. As I was paying, the cashier gave me a tip. He told me of a great acne medication that would do wonders. Thanks. FML

#13491
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25067) - you deserved it (2959)

On 02/07/2009 at 3:09pm - misc - by chichi (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML

#10628803
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34235) - you deserved it (2959)

On 05/19/2010 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by GrossedOutKary (woman) - Puerto Rico



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