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Today, I finished my classwork and my homework early. Since we weren't allowed to leave the room, I decided to draw. My teacher noticed and gave me detention for "goofing off" when I should be doing my work. When I told the teacher I was already done, they gave me a second detention for "attempting to defy them". FML

#8410028
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26917) - you deserved it (2318)

On 02/18/2010 at 3:12pm - misc - by fannylover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at work in a liquor store, a man came in to demand a refund because after he "drank the whole bottle of Jack" he "couldn't get it up" for his wife. He thought that alcohol was supposed to be an aphrodisiac, and blamed me personally for his "whiskey dick". FML

#17415009
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26320) - you deserved it (2318)

On 08/09/2011 at 2:24am - intimacy - by OyGeeze28 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML

#19716339
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27369) - you deserved it (2318)

On 06/01/2012 at 4:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I turned on the TV just in time to see my picture on the news. I have no idea what they said about me. FML

#20043967
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27567) - you deserved it (2318)

On 08/27/2012 at 2:45am - misc - by masterman - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to endure a long face-to-face conversation with a coworker who had fierce BO. He had his fingers interlaced around the back of his head the whole time. FML

#20554899
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28386) - you deserved it (2318)

On 03/22/2013 at 11:01am - work - by stankness - United States

Today, my manager took me aside and angrily told me to quit fucking about with our customers. He totally refuses to believe that the slight whistling sound I keep making when I exhale is because I have a chipped tooth. FML

#20843134
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32765) - you deserved it (2318)

On 08/18/2013 at 1:29pm - work - by ssssssssuck a dick, boss (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I got a report telling me how I had handled a mystery shopper at work. In this report I found out that instead of saying "Thank you" I had said "Have a nice day, take care." This kept me from getting my $150 bonus. FML

#4724946
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39342) - you deserved it (2317)

On 08/22/2009 at 12:43am - work - by elipses (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend, who screamed at me for being a f-ing liar and never taking time for him. He'd called my work and knew I wasn't there as I said I'd be. He was right - I was lying. I'd been driving for the past 10 hours to his family's beach house to surprise him. FML

#5827386
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25990) - you deserved it (2317)

On 10/14/2009 at 11:19am - love - by DumpedHisAss (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I felt dizzy and light-headed. So I sat down at the top of my stairs calling my brother who was downstairs, for help because I was scared something was wrong with me. He called back "No, I'm eating." I fainted. When I woke up, I was still alone upstairs and he was still eating downstairs. FML

#6436663
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22878) - you deserved it (2317)

On 11/24/2009 at 3:07pm - health - by Foodcomesfirst (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I had to pee in the kitchen sink because my bathroom is being completely revamped, and the only other toilet in the house is my parents'. They refuse to let anyone use it. FML

#19032094
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22975) - you deserved it (2317)

On 02/09/2012 at 1:42am - misc - by Falcon - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realized I was getting a bit chubbier than usual. I decided to go for a little jog to stay in shape. Little did I know, my neighbors that just moved in brought along with them, a fully grown German Shepherd. Not tamed. My "jog" quickly turned into a "sprint for my life". FML

#19600497
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21779) - you deserved it (2317)

On 05/09/2012 at 11:34pm - misc - by I Don't Exorcise - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while I was on the bus to work, a morbidly obese man sat down next to me. When my stop came and I stood up to get off, he just looked at me, said with a smirk, "good luck with that," and went back to reading his paper. I missed my stop. FML

#19326564
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26554) - you deserved it (2317)

On 03/22/2012 at 2:00pm - misc - by busfail - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my new neighbors moved in. They have a chihuahua that constantly barks all throughout the day. It makes a great addition to my other neighbors that have a rooster that goes off at sunrise every morning. FML



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