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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend of 8 months dumped me over the phone in between telling the Subway employees what he wanted on his sandwich. FML

#5230758
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47244) - you deserved it (3183)

On 09/13/2009 at 3:18pm - love - by misc (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said she wanted to stay just friends. Not only did I get denied, apparently we're also "just friends." FML

#13614592
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34140) - you deserved it (3183)

On 10/27/2010 at 1:19pm - love - by just_friends (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML

#12964017
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60894) - you deserved it (3183)

On 09/08/2010 at 3:23pm - animals - by jrad - United States (Georgia)

Today, my wife, daughter, and I get to spend the next 4 hours in the ER. Why? Because we're all throwing up at the same time. At least it counts as a family activity. FML

#11911346
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28531) - you deserved it (3183)

On 07/16/2010 at 12:17am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my friend and I were discussing music bands, and I asked who her favorite Queen member is. She looked at me like I was from another world and said, "I don't have a favorite British queen. That's like, so weird." FML

#20002229
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23693) - you deserved it (3183)

On 08/04/2012 at 1:15pm - misc - by fuckingbeliebers (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was feeling down about being stuck in bed after ankle surgery. I thought I would go ahead and call my boss and let him know everything went well. He said the obligatory nice things, then told me that if I'm not at work on Monday, I'll be fired. I can't even get out of bed. FML

#20638400
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46462) - you deserved it (3184)

On 05/03/2013 at 1:35am - work - by clutzasaurus (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while taking a shower in the dorm bathroom, my roommate thought it would be funny to steal my towel, robe, and key. I spent over an hour waiting for someone to come into the bathroom so I could ask them to bring me something to cover up. FML

#5387422
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33505) - you deserved it (3182)

On 09/21/2009 at 1:31am - misc - by issy (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was pointing out my car to my roommate. He responded with, "Oh that one with the broken window?" Turns out my car had been broken into. They took my CD player, GPS and Ipod. On top of that they left a Reese's Fastbreak wrapper and sunflower seeds on my front seat. FML

#7324506
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22309) - you deserved it (3182)

On 01/13/2010 at 7:08pm - misc - by Eli (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was reading to a child during nap time because she woke up crying. She calmed down right after I began reading, but soon started crying again. I was confused until I felt something warm and wet on my leg. She peed on me. FML

#13728645
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22576) - you deserved it (3182)

On 11/05/2010 at 6:02pm - work - by Username - France

Today, the only conversation I had with my mother where she didn't explode into a hissy fit was about peanut butter vs. almond butter. And even then she was starting to get mad at me. FML

#21006901
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34249) - you deserved it (3182)

On 12/27/2013 at 1:40am - misc - by anon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, someone commented on my mother's memorial page on my blog. It said "u need too get over it bitch" and "ur mum was a wh0re". I looked up the IP address and found the comment was posted from my own wifi. The only other person who lives in my house is my girlfriend. FML

#21297662
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42790) - you deserved it (3182)

On 11/12/2014 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Redcar and Cleveland)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I couldn't trust her after cheating on me with 3 guys. Our friends are sad about it so they're throwing her a pity party. Now I'm single and I have no friends. FML

#6441819
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36498) - you deserved it (3181)

On 11/25/2009 at 2:57am - love - by whatthewhat? - United States

Today, I decided to fix my bike and take it for a test ride. Five minutes in, a bee flew into my eye and stung me. In pain, I thought it would be best to go home. I turned around to find a big pitbull running towards me. The dog chased me for a mile before giving up. FML



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