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Today, I got yelled, screamed, and cursed at by a customer until I was reduced to tears. This was all because I double-checked to make sure she wanted large fries. FML

by heretoserve / 09/27/2014 at 12:22am / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, only for her to slap me, throwing the "fake ring" away and storming off, convinced it was a cruel joke. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2014 at 5:27pm / United States / Love

Today, my friendly neighbor asked me to check in on his apartment every few days while he's gone on vacation. You can imagine my horror when I walked in for the first time and found out he's a snake breeder. Twelve more days to go. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2014 at 9:43pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, while at the office, a surprise Valentine's gift arrived for me, the first I've ever received. It was a box of heart-shaped cookies. From my mother. I'm 39. FML

by FMAhole / 02/13/2015 at 10:49pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, for the first time since kindergarten, I won! I came first! Yes, I'm first on the waiting list for the M.A. degree I applied to. FML

by winneuse / 06/04/2015 at 10:30pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I felt flexible in my yoga class. I put my legs in the butterfly position and tried to press them down. Both my hips popped very painfully and I screamed in the middle of a quiet room. FML

by MyLegsHurt / 10/28/2015 at 6:18pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my uncle got me a debit card and put $1000 on it for my Christmas present. However, he forgot to activate the card. The receipt with the 14-digit activation code is in the garbage in Colorado. FML

by kraziikayce / 12/25/2009 at 8:20pm / United States (North Dakota) / Money

Today, my boss asked for recommendations on how to improve the office. I sent her an e-mail full of my ideas. Later, my boss sent me a reply, saying, "Here's what head office thinks of your ideas." It contained a list of insults upper management made about me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2011 at 8:23am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, and ever since I was born, I've had a lazy eye. This morning my boyfriend broke up with me. He thought it was funny to state that we just weren't looking at life in the same way. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 1:24am / France / Love

Today, after finals, my English professor left me less than one percent from an A. Why? All semester long, he took away points because my opinions did not match his. FML

by opinionsarestill / 12/20/2013 at 3:23am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex quite aggressively. Towards the end, he lifted his hips off the bed and then headbutted me in the nose. The only thing that came today was blood all over my new bra. FML

by mallycat14 / 06/25/2015 at 12:26pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my ex-girlfriend told my entire family and all my friends that we broke up because I came out to her. They all believe her. Twenty two texts and counting. FML

by rapturezz / 06/06/2011 at 3:55am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I packed my bags and left for the airport. When I passed through security, the X-ray scanner discovered that my cat had also come along for the ride. FML

by tal / 08/22/2012 at 5:57am / France / Animals