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Today, I choked on my saliva during a medical interview. FML

#18988836
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20895) - you deserved it (2920)

On 02/04/2012 at 12:22am - health - by foxyreegan - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that due to the fact that I got divorced, the insurance for my car is going up. A year after she took everything, she is still costing me money. FML

#18922486
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23784) - you deserved it (2920)

On 01/27/2012 at 1:54am - money - by dust - Japan

Today, I woke up from an explicit dream involving my dentist. I'm scheduled for a conscious sedation appointment with him in two hours and I'm terrified of what I might say or do while I'm under. FML

#20423262
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26903) - you deserved it (2920)

On 12/26/2012 at 9:05am - health - by ugh - United States (Ohio)

Today, a would-be customer practically kicked my store door in, then got pissed and started throwing around insults after I told him that we were still closed, hence the closed sign. He claimed the sign was "confusing". FML

#21098658
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35024) - you deserved it (2920)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:11pm - work - by IDIOT (man) - United States

Today, my boss confessed to me that she doesn't know how to change the staples in the staplers at work, so she just switches them when they run out. We work at an office supply store. She makes six figures. I make $10 an hour. And she just got awarded a trip to Aruba for doing a "great job". FML

#1280200
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57044) - you deserved it (2919)

On 04/24/2009 at 12:36am - work - by Idiocracy (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 15 year old sister came home at 4am totally stoned. My parents treated her really nicely and woke me up. I'm now grounded until I go college for being a bad influence. I volunteer at schools to talk about abusing drugs. FML

#5229708
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49245) - you deserved it (2919)

On 09/13/2009 at 2:19pm - kids - by BigSister (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my maths teacher was giving my whole class a lecture on 'if you don't pay attention at school, you will fail.' She then pointed out out a man working on the roof and said: 'if you don't listen, you will end up like that guy.' That was my dad. FML

#14596121
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45493) - you deserved it (2919)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:07am - misc - by paperbox (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML

#17982026
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37587) - you deserved it (2919)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved

Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML

#19255616
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30806) - you deserved it (2919)

On 03/11/2012 at 3:36am - love - by Tristan Brantley - United States (California)

Today, as a recovering alcoholic, I called my brother to share the news that I've been sober for a month. He invited me to a bar to celebrate. FML

#18752093
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28938) - you deserved it (2919)

On 01/08/2012 at 11:07pm - health - by Jonny - United States (California)

Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML

#20668592
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45874) - you deserved it (2919)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:25am - misc - by Jololol - United States

Today, I was on the subway, when the girl opposite me suddenly started shouting and accusing me of photographing her. I was reading a book on my phone, and I showed her the screen, but I got shoved around anyway by another guy, who threatened to report me for being a pervert. FML

#21082304
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38982) - you deserved it (2919)

On 03/09/2014 at 3:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, I cut myself pretty badly with a knife. I was bleeding quite a lot, so I yelled to my husband to bring me some kitchen roll, along with the first aid kit. He rushed in with the roll… to clean the floor. FML

#21286263
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26538) - you deserved it (2920) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/27/2014 at 10:22am - health - by DiiiDiiine (woman) - France (Limousin)



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