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Today, I co-starred in a production of Hamlet. Halfway through play, the actor playing Hamlet forgot his lines, threw a raging temper tantrum, screaming about how much he hated the play and how he wanted to go home in front of hundreds of audience members. FML

#15497521
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32849) - you deserved it (3262)

On 03/26/2011 at 11:41am - misc - by Sue (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a guy professed his love for me in front of my friends. The guy is my first cousin. FML

#20414731
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40230) - you deserved it (3262)

On 12/22/2012 at 9:33pm - love - by Brittany (woman) - United States

Today, I was bitten by a therapy dog. FML

Today, my mother and I were discussing how we couldn't believe it's been nearly a year since my dad died. Not paying attention, my husband absentmindedly added, "Time flies when you're having fun." FML

#20804154
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44420) - you deserved it (3261)

On 07/26/2013 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. As things got heated, he broke down crying. I assumed it was just anxiety so I hugged him and told him it's alright and that it didn't matter, we'd try another time. Half an hour later, he confessed that he's actually gay. FML

Today, I woke to find a pool of my own blood all over my pillow. Frantic to find the source of the blood, I rushed into the bathroom and tripped over my too-long pajama pants. Crashing to the floor face first, I broke my nose. Turns out I had just bitten my lip in the middle of the night. FML

#21444253
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23287) - you deserved it (3262)

On 07/19/2015 at 11:02pm - health - by Bleach dat Blood (woman) -

Today, I caught my dad eating the dog treats I'd bought for my dog. The only thing he could say was "These are really good, no wonder the dog is so obedient. Wanna try one?" FML

#13684464
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23497) - you deserved it (3260)

On 11/02/2010 at 3:13am - animals - by treats - Singapore

Today, I text messaged my mom from Afghanistan to let her know everything was okay. She responded, telling me not to message her so much because "the price of text messages really adds up." FML

#13842937
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37036) - you deserved it (3260)

On 11/14/2010 at 5:26pm - money - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my 6-year-old brother showed me the "books" he's been writing for the past week. My parents, who are first-generation immigrants, want him to take the books to school to show everyone. My only problem with this? The main character's name is "Wanker". FML

#21195314
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36331) - you deserved it (3260)

On 07/01/2014 at 5:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working at the daycare. As I left with my boyfriend, a kid came up to us and said that my boyfriend could do way better. FML

#21251155
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35854) - you deserved it (3260)

On 09/03/2014 at 1:40pm - kids - by unlucky - United States (New York)

Today, my mother was trying to have yet another "helpful" conversation about how to fix my anxiety. My sister's insightful comment? "I think your problem is that you need to get laid." My mom agreed with her. FML

#21401985
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29349) - you deserved it (3260)

On 04/29/2015 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by sexandanxiety (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my Dad decided to take his medicine before eating. He passed out with his face in a plate of chocolate cake. He wasn't responsive so I called the paramedics. When he got to the hospital, the doctor asked him if he knew why he was there. He replied, "Because my stupid daughter over reacted." FML

#6298520
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34017) - you deserved it (3259)

On 11/14/2009 at 7:35am - misc - by Kassiopia (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to my kids shaking me, saying, "Get up, Santa was here!" I got up to find my TV, computer and MacBook Air all gone. FML

#14191427
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38982) - you deserved it (3259)

On 12/13/2010 at 2:32pm - kids - by crazycora (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)



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