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Today, my husband announced that he wants to separate emotionally. Meanwhile, he still wants me to cook and clean for him while he dates his new girlfriend. FML

#19522114
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37921) - you deserved it (2833)

On 04/24/2012 at 2:18pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I told my mom about an article I'd seen that said people tend to make the most mistakes at 2 to 3 in the morning. Without a trace of humor in her voice, she said, "Tell me about it. You were conceived round about then." FML

#19161830
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24912) - you deserved it (2833)

On 02/25/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by fmlsomuch - Japan

Today, I took a girl out I've been seeing for two months on our first real date. I had saved all my money for the week for this. I took her to a beautiful restaurant uptown. She got hammered, hit me and screamed that I would never be as good as "Marshall." FML

#5758524
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38727) - you deserved it (2832)

On 10/10/2009 at 2:06pm - love - by pistonsunshine (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I attended a focus group. Since I've been unemployed for a month now I thought the $60 would come in handy. By the time I finished someone had broken into my car, stole my GPS and MP3 player. FML

#6236488
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23292) - you deserved it (2832)

On 11/09/2009 at 10:16pm - money - by unlucky (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was lying in bed minding my own business when my mom entered the room. I was proposed to a few weeks ago by my boyfriend, and my mom came in to tell me that my boyfriend's mom was on the phone. Turns out, he stole the engagement ring from her drawer. FML

#6517359
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33940) - you deserved it (2832)

On 11/29/2009 at 5:52pm - love - by violet (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my parents grounded me and took away my phone, iPod and door. That's right, my door. They think that because I was stumbling and couldn't walk straight last night, I must have been out drinking. They know I suffer from chronic vertigo, but don't believe I was having an attack. FML

#16608434
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39348) - you deserved it (2832)

On 06/11/2011 at 9:06am - health - by sickbaby (woman) - Singapore

Today, as I was sitting in my car in a mall parking lot an old couple got into their new van and backed right into me. The man got out and in broken english decided it was no big deal. He turned to leave and tried to pat my back, but smacked my ass instead. I was hit by a car, and spanked for it. FML

#1274514
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44146) - you deserved it (2831)

On 04/23/2009 at 10:12pm - misc - by pleasebackintomycaragain (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me so he could sleep with my mom without feeling guilty. FML

#7304423
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32644) - you deserved it (2831)

On 01/12/2010 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by notasgood (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized I need a new job when I had to take anti-anxiety medication before meeting with my boss. Last time we met, I had a panic attack. FML

#18570101
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21885) - you deserved it (2831)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:10pm - work - by bosslady12 - United States

Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML

#21077397
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34678) - you deserved it (2831)

On 03/03/2014 at 11:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was told that I look like a cross between Roger Federer and Neil Patrick Harris. Apparently I have a big forehead and a squished face. FML

#13762185
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17810) - you deserved it (2830)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:32am - misc - by facingit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML

#18341424
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30846) - you deserved it (2830)

On 11/24/2011 at 9:09pm - intimacy - by vistingherfamily (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boss fired me for dating a co-worker. There's no policy forbidding it; he just thought it was unfair that I could get with the "hottest girl who works here" but he can't. I live in an at-will employment state. FML

#16960895
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28030) - you deserved it (2830)

On 07/03/2011 at 12:21pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Hampshire)



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