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Today, I had my wisdom teeth pulled. I woke up right as the dentist pulled my last tooth. FML

#20708877
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51852) - you deserved it (3327)

On 06/06/2013 at 1:01am - health - by Applejacks18 (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

#21092834
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41418) - you deserved it (3327)

On 03/21/2014 at 5:44pm - health - by iusedprotectionanyway (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I got my driver's license. My dad made multiple copies of his insurance cards for me to give to people when I inevitably hit them. Because "Let's face it." FML

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years told me that I was part of an experiment for her Sociology doctorate. I also learned that the notebooks she's been writing in for the past three years aren't for her "doctorate in literature" as she had told me, they were notes on my behavior for the past 3 years. FML

#5166110
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51809) - you deserved it (3326)

On 09/10/2009 at 9:37am - love - by Dave (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my car got a wheel lock because I had 5 tickets. Three of those tickets dated back to 2006. I got my car and license in 2008. FML

#7835541
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30570) - you deserved it (3326)

On 02/03/2010 at 12:11am - money - by olyswimmer (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I discovered my fiancé has been telling everyone else we are just friends, yet last night he wanted me to go with him to pick up my engagement ring. I'm supposing the wedding will be a surprise to everyone. FML

#14721609
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29330) - you deserved it (3326)

On 01/26/2011 at 4:26pm - love - by Unreality (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML

#14325141
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40898) - you deserved it (3326)

On 12/24/2010 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by notsoclean (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend had a bitch fit at me because I laughed at her idea of getting the Cullen family tree tattooed on her back. FML

#20079438
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32162) - you deserved it (3326)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:22pm - love - by Shame (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tasted a perfectly salted, crispy, and dead carpenter ant hidden in my bag of pistachios. FML

#21242612
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34153) - you deserved it (3326)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:48pm - misc - by ReluctantAntEater (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a call from a girl I fell madly in love with 8 years ago. She disappeared from my life with no trace. Turns out she just finalized her divorce, has 2 wild kids, packed on 75 lbs, has $25,000 in debt and is taking meds to keep from going crazy. Now she wants me back. FML

#6983877
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37109) - you deserved it (3325)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:03am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was wearing my favorite silk sweater, one I actually paid full price for. I sat down in my desk chair to work, and when I tried to get up I felt a strange pull. A corner of my sweater is still stuck in the screw at the back of the chair, the rest is in the trash. FML

#8736997
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20805) - you deserved it (3325)

On 03/01/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by dangit (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had diarrhea in a Walmart bathroom for 15 minutes. Apparently, so did the guy in the stall next to me. He attempted to make small talk to pass the time. FML

#13005012
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30935) - you deserved it (3325)

On 09/11/2010 at 2:59pm - misc - by wantontsu -

Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how excited I was to drive 12 hours to see him and his new house. His girlfriend answered. FML

#11497127
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38445) - you deserved it (3325)

On 06/27/2010 at 2:03pm - misc - by ac13 (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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